So Ugly it is Pretty -- Hibbs on 8/6/14

Hey, me again -- yeah, bi-weekly it is, I think, for now!  Of course, my jibber jabber seems even more jibber jabbery when surrounded by Abhay.... After the cut.....

AND THEN EMILY WAS GONE #1 (OF 5): I thought this had some pretty fabulous art – Iain Laurie is in that “so ugly it is pretty” school like maybe a Mike McMahon or a Ulises Farinas or something – though I know it isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. The story was alright: I felt like I could predict each beat before it came, but that’s not necessarily bad with a horror comic, where atmosphere often counts more than plot.. What kills me, of course, is that, being from a smaller publisher (comixtribe), Diamond had literally no copies for distribution available on Tuesday when I pulled it out of the box, went “Oooh, pretty”, and tried to reorder some more. Backorder-only, which guarantees a minimum of three weeks to get a reorder (and is often 6+, because comixtribe is a UK publisher, and Diamond is wretched with UK publishers), which makes it extremely risky to order up on #2, since I can’t say when/if I will get any more #1s, which just creates this whole vicious circle, and then it’s a mini-series, so by the time we figure out the “right” order, it will be over. Ah, comics! I’m going to go with a strong GOOD.

GOD IS DEAD BOOK OF ACTS ALPHA: Three stories in an anthology. The first story, by Mike Costa, was about the same as the main series – ie, I was flipping pages to get to the end as fast as I could because I wanted to be done already; the second story was Alan Moore, and it was wonderfully meta – starring Moore himself and his “snake god”, and if this was ten years ago I’d be betting that this would make the Eisner nominees for “best short story”. I also liked that the inside covers table of contents claimed that Si Spurrier’s story was in the number two spot so I’m reading this, astonished that Spurrier would do such a ruthless Moore piss take, and then I realized it was Moore, and that made it even better. Spurrier’s story, at the back, has a very cute premise about Cherubs and their antecedents, but it practice it probably went on about three times longer that was needed. So, that’s an AWFUL, an EXCELLENT, and an OK in a single issue, which is exactly a perfect case study of why many people generally don’t like anthologies. I liked that Moore story alone just well enough to give the overall comic a GOOD, but I would understand if you ranked it lower.

MILES MORALES ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN #4: Here is what I don’t get, what I truly fundamentally, in-my-core don’t get: why would you relaunch your mult-culti Spider-Man comic, put “Miles Morales”’ name in the title, present this excellent marketing moment and time for the book to explode (seriously, on paper this should be at least as big of a hit as Ms. Marvel), and then have your entire first arc be ENTIRELY about the dead white guy? Miles does nothing but react react react to Peter and Peter’s legacy and Peter’s damn baggage. This was probably 2014’s largest mainstream misfire in its wrong-headedness. Staggeringly EH.

MIRACLEMAN #9: I am just the slightest bit surprised to see the Disney corporation publish full-on vaginal birth. I was thinking they were going to cave at the last minute. Good for them. I love Miracleman generally, but as I feared, the wider audience reaction is largely “been there, done that” -- #7 was down below 20k nationally which makes me think that it could be well into cancellation territory before it gets back to brand new stories by Neil Gaiman. Meh, they’ll relaunch that with a #1 anyway. Anyway, I find this specific issue a bit over-written and half-baked, but it sets up a whole lot of wonderful stuff that’s going to pay off wonders, so as long as it is in a rated review column, I’ll say a low GOOD

NEW AVENGERS #22: Mostly because I didn’t write last week, and #21 was the single book then that I really wanted to say something about, I really admire the strong morality as the center of the decision that was made in #21, and I thought that who did make that decision was really the perfect one. There’s some real “No Tap-backs” stuff going on here, and it’s pretty much the sole piece of Hickman’s run here that has got me genuinely interested. The rest of the arc feels too expansive, too sprawling and unfocused, too…. White-boardy. Which is why would really want to point out the moments that work, like last issue and this one, with some of the fall-out. VERY GOOD. I do, wish, however, that Marvel would put more than 7 days between issues, sheesh.

SUPERIOR SPIDER-MAN #32 EOSV: I might be hard pressed to come up with a worse title for a Spider-Man “event” than “Edge of the Spider-Verse”, which not only isn’t compelling (“edge” kinda means it could topple either way, right?), but it’s not descriptive either. Why not something more punchy like, dunno, “The Infinite Deaths of Spider-Man” (well, that’s awful too). Anyway, it is crazy-making to start off this crossover as #32 of a cancelled series, and that has a premise that’s pretty entirely different than the first 31 issues, and also, since they structure it as a time travel thing, essentially has to end with Ock Spidey surviving and losing him memory of the events, which also makes the starting point at least somewhat “out of continuity / doesn’t count”. But, despite that, mostly because I’ve always been a sucker for multiple-earth nuttiness, I thought this was an entertaining… well, I was going to say “romp”, but the body count was a bit high for that. A trifling GOOD.

TERMINAL HERO #1: Where’s the “Hero” part of it? EH.

What else? Oh yeah, I also liked GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY, the film, pretty much. I wish they wouldn’t stray what seems like arbitrarily from the source material --the Novas, kind of pointlessly killing Ronan (he accused no one of anything!), and mostly the wussification of Gamora. THAT was “the most dangerous woman in the universe”? She’s beaten up by freakin’ Starlord at one point, eesh. I probably also would have dropped Nebula from the story, as that didn’t really add a thing, but, yeah, other than that? Decent enough film, and I thought the 3-D was very watchable this time. Either way, the 10 year old loved it, so that probably makes it, what, VERY GOOD?

That's me, what did YOU think?

-B

Wait, What? Ep. 132: The Village, People

Jack Kirby on The Prisoner. Ahh, what could've been....

Howdy, Whatnauts!  The good news is: I think I fixed the recording levels for this episode so your eardrums will not bleed whenever I speak.  (Though I'll miss feeling like Black Bolt.)  The bad news is:  I started on this kind of late and so powered on through the show notes.  They are....very, very brief. If last week's notes were a leisurely feast, this week's notes are a shaky handful of peanuts devoured standing up by the sink.

And with that effortless bit of salesmanship out of the way, join me behind the jump!

0:00-25:25: Introduction comments!  We have just a few minutes talking around Graeme's incandescent rage, before talking about the news of Karl Kesel taking over scripting duties for Matt Fraction on Fantastic Four…all of which leads us to ponder the Fantastic Four.  Is it a book past its prime, or is it still possible for the title to resonate in the marketplace? 25:25-53:15: There was a discussion the other day on Twitter about why people should care about the sales of comics.  It seems germane to the stuff we talk about, so we talk about it. And I guess it moves to become a discussion about how Marvel is selling their books, marketing their books, and making their books since we end up discussing stuff like: Captain Marvel, Variety Magazine, the Direct Market and the comics Internet, Hawkeye, All-New X-Men, Uncanny Avengers, Indestructible Hulk, and more. 53:15-1:04:19:  Speaking of Indestructible Hulk, Jeff has read the last five issues and we revisit our previous discussion of the book's strengths and weakness. 1:04:19-2:01:11: And other comics we have read: Adam Warren's story from A+X #10! Infinity #1! The Trinity War crossover event! (Plus, a brief anecdote about DC 3-D.) Saga #13! Buffy Season Nine! Angel and Faith! Batman #23! Suicide Squad issues #22 and #23 by Ales Kot, Patrick Zircher, and Rick Leonardi!  More Rogue Trooper! More Cat Shit One! The FCBD Judge Dredd comic! Jack Kirby's adaptation of The Prisoner! 3 New Stories by Dash Shaw! When I'm tired and over-extended, exclamation points are my crutch! Oh, and some point, I took a picture of the screenshot I checked out of the library.  Here it is, in part because I'm so ashamed of stiffing you people on show notes content, and in part because Graeme and I look like some sort of hilariously ominous comic book cabal committed to forcing dopey manga on an unsuspecting world:

The Slump is out there....

2:01:11-end: The Center Cannot Hold! Shenanigans! Apologies! Skip Week! Closing Comments! Something like an attempt to provide coming attractions!  More Shenanigans!

(And holy crap, did I enjoy those first three volumes of Yakitate!! Japan... Can't wait to read the rest...)

The show is on iTunes! The show will be on iTunes! The show was on iTunes!  But it is also here, hovering snug in the center of the Nexus of All Realities:

Wait, What? Ep. 132: The Village, People

Remember, next week is a skip week so feel free to catch up on all of our past episodes (thanks to my esoteric numbering system, there are more than 190 entries available on our RSS feed) and tune in two weeks from now.  As always, we hope you enjoy this thing we do, and thank you for your patronage!

Wait, What? Ep. 129: Idol Speculation

A nifty piece of fan art from the crazily talented Adam P. Knave. Thank you, Adam!

We are back!  To do that thing to your ears that you insist you like!  (Really, you like it? Really?)

After the jump -- show notes!  That thing I do to your eyes that...maybe is helpful?  Even the way I do it, maybe?  Join us!

(Ugh, I'm so old: looking at photoshopped me with those shoes, I'm all, "Man, I look like Bob Fosse!"  Sad, sad, sad.)

0:00-18:54: Greetings! Apologies! Alternate theme songs! Prepping from SDCC!  Graeme tells us what kind of stuff he's looking forward to -- and, equally as important, dreading -- at this year's Con.  Also covered: the upcoming geek lifestyle program brought to you from a somewhat unlikely source; Blair Butler and more. 18:54-29:34: Is Marvelman coming back at this Con?  Will anyone care? Will Jeff be able to get halfway decent prices for his copies, or has he entered the greedy speculator phase of his comic reading career far, far too late?  Also, Jeff unburdens himself about his shady contribution to Internet discourse.  And that leads, in its odd way, to discussion of the latest Marvel event and the new Inhumans series. 29:34-41:34:  And that leads to us talking about Gaiman's changing credits on Guardians of the Galaxy, DC being less bitchy in public than Marvel, but still doing stuff like cutting Ales Kot loose from Suicide Squad. Is DC trying to bring back its Silver Age in the worst way possible?  Or do they just not know how to grow creators? 41:34-50:14:  Compare and contrast:  Graeme has read the two collections of Nick Spencer's Ultimate X-Men and has some things to report back on that experience.  He also read the Superior Foes of Spider-Man, also written by Nick Spencer.  Since Jeff hasn't read Morning Glories and Graeme has, Jeff grills Graeme about the A-B-Cs of N-I-C(k). 50:14-57:49:  Whoever had 49:10 in the holiday pool for when Jeff would want to start talking about 2000AD, pick up your winnings at Window No. 2!  We talk about Laura Sneddon's excellent article about Zenith, Hillary Robinson and Chronos Carnival, and giving Jeff a chance to vent about his obsession with the Leonard Zelig of the comics industry, Michael Fleisher.  And just as we talk about one of the best pieces to happen to comics in the last two weeks, things go a bit pear-shaped, leading us into… 57:49-58:10:   Intermission One! 58:10-1:04:54: Where we were?  Oh, right.  One of the best things to happen to comics in the last two weeks?  That would be Jim Steranko joining Twitter.  Are you following @IamSteranko?  You really, really should. 1:04:54-1:11:01:  Neither Graeme nor Jeff attended the Image Expo. Did that keep Jeff and Graeme from talking about it? Oh my, no. 1:11:01-1:17:53: What do Game of Thrones, Dead Snow, and The Fantastic Four have in common?  And what does all of that have to do with The Boys?  Jeff has a hurried, stammery story that will connect the dots for you! 1:17:53-1:30:14:  And to continue from that last talking point, Jeff (a.k.a., Mr. Up-To-Date) finally finished reading all of The Boys by Garth Ennis, Darick Robertson, John McCrea, and Russ Braun (who Jeff, because he is daft, refers to as Dan Braun at least once, much to his shame now). Spoilers ahoy! 1:30:14-1:52:01:  Batman, Inc. #12!  What'd we think? JLA: Tower of Babel! Which one of us has only now just read it? The second Prophet collection!  Which other one finally read that and what'd they think?  Bandette and Batman '66! Did one of us read them and love them, or did both of us read them and love them? The Private Eye!  Who's going to sound like a douchebag talking about the new they discovered to read the latest issue by Brian K. Vaughn and Marcos Martin?  Pick up your pencils and begin.  You will have slightly less than twenty-two minutes to complete this part of the exam. 1:52:01-end:  Closing comments! Promises to return that hopefully will not sound hollow to thy ears! And, of course, Exclamation points! Exclamation points for everyone!!

Um, what else?  I just saw Pacific Rim today.   I wasn't the only one  weirded out by how much that Australian dude looked like Geoff Johns when he put his baseball cap on, was I? No?  Just me?

Anyway, it was far from a great movie (like I don't even think there's bus service between where Pacific Rim ended up and a great movie) but it worked for me.  I had an okay time with a few minutes of genuine nerd joy.  Weirdly, it reminded me of Battleship, another so-very-far-from-great movie, that also spent most of its running time trying to justify its own premise and really was entertaining when it wasn't being terrible...the difference being that Peter Berg is just a tourist in nerd town and Guillermo Del Toro owns, like, a third of the shops there.

I mean there weren't enough fights in the city for my tastes, and I don't know how you can put Charlie Day in a movie and make him yell all the time and have it still be dull (because I think Charlie Day yelling is like one of the funniest things in the world). But, you know. As a bargain matinee on the big screen? Enjoyable.

Oh, right!  The podcast!!  I knew I almost forgot something!  It'll be on iTunes soon, it's in our RSS feed, and it's right below.  We hope you listen and enjoy!

Wait, What? Ep. 129: Idol Speculation

Mainstream Comics, Ellen Burstyn & Jim Broadbent star in “The Momentum of Things”

 

That's 30 issues, fella.  That's over $120 of cascading plot.  That's probably over 70,000 words of dialogue. (Eyes boggle)

To be, or not to be, that is the question:

Shakespeare – Hamlet 1:1

According to the work in the public domain there are about 32,000 words in Hamlet, FFS.

Given my druthers, I'd rather have a blast of something like this:

Follow me!  Into the maw of insanity!

So, gang, here's your problem.

Tragedy at the Walgreen's  "Out of eye shadow?!?!"

Of course, not JEM specifically but rather this meandering blech that is now mainstream comics.  Don't believe me?  Listen to Vince Gilligan!

It’s helpful to have an end date. Most shows are designed to go on into perpetuity – to go on indefinitely. You don’t want it to end, but, actually, desiring an end date from early on held us in good stead.

Vince Gilligan – Creator – Breaking Bad

 Our desire to apparently complicate the uncomplicated is a real thing.  A real big problem.  It's strangling something we love.  To be honest, it's ripping it to pieces.  You pick up something in the middle of that 30 issue diagram and your brain is going to turn into oatmeal.  PORRIDGE, I SAY!

What is needed, for both thee, me, and the royal WE is a little bit of a format redefinition.

And that realization left me gasping.  How, where, to what degree?  And then, a bolt from the blue.  Combing my rapidly dwindling longboxes this week I came across a massive stack of What If… from the volume II era (late 80’s).

WHAT IF… The Avengers Lost the Evolutionary War? WHAT IF… Steve Rogers had Refused to Give Up Being Captain America? WHAT IF… Iron Man Lost the Armor Wars? WHAT IF… The Fantastic Four all had the Same Power? WHAT IF… The Vision had Conquered the World? WHAT IF… Phoenix Rose Again? WHAT IF… The X-Men had Stayed in Asgard? WHAT IF… The Avengers Lost Operation Galactic Storm?

In the strictest sense, a lot of this was CRAP comics. Tryout art. HACKneyed dialogue.

Uuuuuuurgh

But on further inspection, and I say this with some level of seriousness, this is (or, rather, was) the last vestige of verve and piss in mainstream comics.

I challenge any individual to the patented“What if…” F You set-up. Can anyone find a comic that goes from the equivalent of the panel above to the panels below in less than two pages?

What you can’t really debate or put down about it was the amount of single issue ambition here. Sure, they’re imaginary stories. But as we famously know, “Aren’t they all?” What I was absorbed by in these stories was the sheer amount of FINISH on display. Things get done here. Wrapped up and put down all the way through. Whether that be Cannonball marrying a dwarf princess or the Fantastic Four all getting Human Torch powers – burning down a slum irresponsibly – and killing an adorable street urchin through their reckless hubris.

Things get done.

What I really found myself asking – as retailers and publishers struggle to identify the best delivery method for comics - Is whether or not long form serialized storytelling is rewarding or merely masturbatory?  When something so deliriously underproduced, rushed, and throwaway could give me such a jolt I was left wondering  why the "brightest minds" in the comics biz spend years telling stories that go nowhere and do - largely - nothing of lasting consequence.

Many (in internet terms) weeks ago I stumbled into a volley of barbs between the unanimously loved DEAR LEADER Brian "SAVAGE" Hibbs and one Jennifer de Guzman. Jennifer is, according to twitter bio and I have no reason to doubt it, PR and Marketing Director at Image comics.

This person, dear reader, is the tip of the spear when it comes to how the most bleeding edge – for all intents and purposes mainstream – comics company chooses to represent itself to the world. She must be very good indeed. So, in one corner the world-weary retail mastermind. In the other, the probing, challenging new method seeking distribution executive. Should be smooth sailing, yeah?

Well…

The crux of the “AHEM” discussion seemed to be the legitimate viability of short term “mini-series” versus ongoing titles in the current marketplace.

Now, fair being fair, these two fine folks must work together to simultaneously sustain and reinvigorate comics. This was all one night’s worth of twitter spit balling. I was a few cups in reading it so I can only assume they were a few cups in writing it. Logical, right? So, anywho, get these two together in a room and legitimately good ideas will come of it because they are both dedicated and passionate individuals who believe comics are worth a great deal of their waking hours and unlike us have committed their professional lives to that (slightly more than) 4 color gambit.

The problem is – neither of them can wave a magic wand to get the books selling like early 90’s Aunt May wheat cakes again. The question that arises from that problem is – where do they BEGIN to get books selling like the aforementioned wheat cakes?

Side Note - Yes, that is Uncle Ben as Silver Surfer.

 I think it’s fair to say that at this point anything is worth a shot.  I don't want to speak for Brian.  He knows via hard earned experience what sells in his location.  As a fellow small business owner I can say for myself that I tend to look at “tried and true” methods.  Publishing companies seem to feel a bit more comfortable working on different delivery vehicles. It’s the thing they can control – format of content – via their solicitation or publishing choices. Whether it’s a mini, maxi, annual, prestige, jumbo, or even the most elusive prey of all – THE DOUBLE SIZED ISSUE – publishers have long been tweaking the delivery system.

How – How – HOW?!?! How to get the people back?

Is it like this?

Look on my DIAGRAMS ye mighty and despair! - Jonathan Hickman (Allegedly)

A Traumatizing Apologia for New Avengers

Nuanced. Oo, yes. Swaive and De-Boner as the old man used to put it. But lemme ask you this:

Does it put butts in seats?

The simple answer is no. Now, this kind of thing does bring some proverbial milkshake to the yard. Established readers, with a deep investment, a subtle appreciation of nuanced characterization, a willingness to follow the Byzantine pathways of a critical and calculating mind dedicated to telling what is - for all intents and purposes – a multi-year story….Ah, ah, ah. Navel Gazing. YOU ARE NAVEL GAZING.

Now, listen, until Watchmen and its 80’s brethren made it passé to have clunky in-issue recaps of what had immediately come before (try reading a couple hundred issues of Amazing Spider-Man digitally and tell me it’s a seamless story) we had what were largely anthology comics.

In an anthology any comic basically makes use of the archetypal nature of the protagonist and tells a story that can fit with what any schmoe can understand from that single issue. It can be picked up by anybody and they can be sucked in by art, wit, word play and technical skill. “Hero, got it.” “Villain, check.” “Cool fight scene at Rockefeller ice rink.” “Oh, he called him a canucklehead!”  "What a neat twist - his glasses broke on the steps of the library!"

Somewhere along the line - and wiser comic heads than me will know the date - some bright bulb figured out if you made an issue only PART of the overall story then the hapless chump buying the thing (That's US, by the way) would need to buy the next one to get the story.  But then, why bother with two parts when you can have three?  Or Twelve?  Or THIRTY?

The problem is, Writers can totally play it safe with a meandering 12 issue story. You can break it into two six issue chunks, plod around for the first four issues of both chunks, deliver a lightweight resolution or, GASP, CONTINUATION

…and then hurry home in the last two issues to the status quo. “Look, everybody, they didn’t kill the Human Torch after all!”

That’s what diagrams get you. That’s what laziness and a navel gazing market conspire to get you. That’s what serialized fiction in comics has mutated into.

Marc Maron recently sat down with Sam Simon, (He of Simpsons greatness and glory) talked about his terminal cancer, and the shitness of serialized fiction vis a vis the new Charlie Sheen piece of garbage he’s working on half a day a week as a favor to a friend.

Sam Simon's WTF episode

“It’s called a 10 / 90 show…ugh, it’s death. It’s just the end of anything being good. You do 10 and then they pick up 90. What? Like if it’s no good after 40 episodes what do they do with it?”

He burns people in this thing – why not, right? And it’s breathtaking.

The takeaway for comics and writers - REGARDLESS of delivery method – is that there is a real need to break out of the cycle wherein they commit to these long form pointless wank explorations of nothing that ouroboros-like wind up back at the start and return to the status quo.  That's why readers bleed from titles if you ask me.  If you're telling me facets of the same story for 30 friggin issues with a whole lot of...

...then no wonder people are falling off left and right?  Who has the freaking endurance?  Not everybody was put on Earth to run marathons, comics!  Some of us just don't have the wind!

Look, it's simple.  If you want status quo then develop characters and story arcs that fit into anthology style universes. Bart Simpson is 10 years old forever for a freaking reason and it's a GOOD ONE.  Interesting, funny, weird shit happens to 10 year olds.  If you want serial fiction then you must NOT spend years of issues going nowhere! It’s fundamental! It’s elemental!  Sliding timeline be DAMNED!

I'm going to leave you with a big, important quote.  This quote explains why it's awesome when Cap gets shot in the head and the book ends.  Why it's great when The Vision conquers and becomes benign dictator of Earth.  Why it's possibly the greatest comic thing ever when Superman flies into the Sun to save us all.

Dread is an underutilized emotion on TV. This is most likely due to the shackles of serialized storytelling that, impossibly, demand both constant forward momentum and deeply settled consistency. Most shows, even the very best of them, traffic in the illusion of change, not the thing itself: The Sopranos was never really going to whack Tony, and Nicholas Brody isn't going to be martyring himself on Homeland as long as Damian Lewis is winning Emmys. It's hard to feel like something terrible is going to happen when the multiseason model of television remains too invested in nothing happening at all. Because Game of Thrones began its life, like Samwell Tarly's insider knowledge of castles, as a series of marks on paper, it's not bound to this risk-averse small-mindedness. I give the show a lot of grief for all the ways its fealty to pre-existing source material hampers the dramatic burst and bloom of a typical television season, but it's in episodes like last night's that the advantages are made abundantly clear. Only Game of Thrones can blow up the present like this, because only Game of Thrones already knows its future.

-Andy Greenwald Game of Thrones, Season 3, Episode 9: It's Like 'Rains' on Your Red Wedding Day

Over 5 million people watch this show.  And it's growing.

 No more TO BE CONTINUED.  COMICS.  I BEG YOU.

I have no title, and I must scream! Hibbs' 5/22/13

Thoughts on Twelve Angry Comics from this week, below that jump

AVENGERS #12: I've tried, really I have, but I find Hickman's AVENGERS titles so bloodless and over-plotted that I just can't get into them whatsoever.  Here we are at what would be the "one year mark" for a "normal" comic, at the five months-old mark (and people wonder why Marvel is driving sales now?), and I'm so very very cold to this one and it's sibling title. Only "Spider-Ock teaching those kids how to be selfish" showed any real spark. I find this so very EH.

BOUNCE #1: I don't understand what Joe Kelley is trying to do here? "Speedball, except with swearing and explicit drug use?" That's not so very appealing, and then the first issue ends with an "alternate reality", and I'm trying to figure out what I'm rooting for? Some of the wilder ideas (A superhuman who IS a drug, shadowy conspiracies run by lizard-eaters, etc.) probably work a lot better with the mainstream-like art by David Messina that some of Casey's other co-creators.  I liked it fine, but I'm having a hard time deciphering the actual premise. Call it a very strong OK?

DAREDEVIL #26: this book is moving from strength to strength, and I think that the new enemy is one of the strongest ones that DD has ever faced... but, damn, I can't for the life of my recall his name. Akemi? Ashema? Somewhere in that range. Too bad it wasn't something like "Devildare" or something else easily remembered (Like, dunno, "Bullseye", maybe?), as that would mark a perfect nemesis. Either way, this book is VERY GOOD.

FANTASTIC FOUR #8: There's been something just a few degrees off from this renumbering, that I wish I could put my finger on -- but it's just dying in sales on our racks. Plummmmmet. Which is a damn shame, because this was as near as perfect of a single issue of a superhero comic book that I read this year. Ben Grimm on his one "day of being human", visiting the past of Yancy Street even before his sainted Aunt Petunia, and its just a great great little Done-In-One. VERY GOOD.

FLASH #20: Excited, oddly, about a new "Reverse Flash", but, like much of the Manapul/Buccellato era, it's just not delivering it's potential in my eyes. I really really want to believe, but the fairy is dying right in front of my very eyes. It tries so very very hard, and I desperately want to like it but like a poor marksman, it. keeps, missing. its. target. (KHAAAAAAAAAAANNNN!)

(Christ, I'm a nerd)

I honestly can't generate more than an OK, though I *want* it to be a VG, y'know?

GREEN LANTERN #20: And so ends an era. Really, this deserves an essay of its own, but Geoff deserves some amazing props for turning what was a (lets face it) second string character into a genuine franchise. Some people deride the "rainbow corps" (and, yeah, it probably went a step too far), but at least there are really legitimate differences and motivations and backstories between the various Corps.

I am personally of the mind that Geoff's run ran 3-4 years too long -- I'm not convinced that anything after "Blackest Night" was really particularly good -- but you GOT to give it up to Geoff for what he's accomplished in the run, overall.  I think even moreso because MY expectation is that the franchise of GL is going to crater out without Geoff at the helm... largely I think that the audience was essentially tolerating much of the excess in the line due to perceiving it as a creative vision. We'll see.

This last issue, sadly, wasn't much special -- the villain of this story has been uninteresting, and the final crossover dragged on way too long, with way too much handwaving and gnashing of teeth -- so I'm not inclined to go over an OK, but I do want to make special mention of the "text pieces" scattered throughout the issue which (and this is really straight from Jeff Lester, I am sorry for stealing!) read like nothing more than signatures collected in a high school yearbook, with all of the empty insincere praise that entails -- I'm shocked there's not a "Have A Great Summer!" in there somewhere, honestly -- the nadir probably being Diane Nelson's. I'd be shocked if she could recite the rest of that.

Yeah: "Have A Great Summer!"

GREEN TEAM #1: Here's the good news: We're guaranteed to get more issues of this than from the first series (which had just two issues, after it's debut in "1st Issue Special", both cancelled before they shipped), as this will last AT LEAST until issue #8. It's hard to think that it will get much more beyond that, however, since there wasn't a ton of ACTUAL premise on display in this first one. I get that on paper it's "rich kids buy superpowers", but that only happens for ONE of the "team", and that only on the last page. Has no one heard of "in media res"? Plus? I liked them better as, y'know, little kids. Well, copyright resecured, I guess.

I *love* this description of the cancelled first series: "In the first of the two unpublished adventures, the boys were pitted against giant lobsters and the Russian Navy. In what would have been the third issue, the Green Team face a villain called the Paperhanger who had special wallpaper that grew plants and trees, and who was a dead ringer for Adolf Hitler. They dispatch all menaces, then disappear into history in their private jet." Oh oh, the wacky wacky 70s...

This was highly OK, but needed to be so so much better to escape the event horizon of the current DCU

HALF PAST DANGER #1: Nice try, but another example of "burying the lede" and starting the story long long before the story should actually be started -- "WW2 adventurers FIGHT nazi dinosaurs!" is a great idea, but so much of this comic was walking through woods and sitting in bars and things that were not actually fighting nazis OR dinosaurs. Plus Stephen Mooney's art is just too anatomically awkward in places.  There's virtually no genre serialization that couldn't learn a lot by studying the structure of, say, an episode of Star Trek, and applying that to EACH INDIVIDUAL issue of the comic. Yet another OK on display in this one.

OCCUPY COMICS #1: I think this might be a year too late to do any good, but I liked virtually every page of this polemic of a comic. You could also call this "time capsule comics", because that's likely how this will seem in a decade (sort of like how the 9/11 comics are today), but that doesn't stop this from being a solid little anthology, and (I thought) VERY GOOD. POWERS BUREAU #4: there are times that I think that Bendis has single-handedly done more harm to the very idea of creator-owned comics than another other guy in comics. As a working retailer, I am constrained to point out that this issue is nearly a full month late, and that's after they utterly wasted having a few issues "banked" by shipping the first two bi-weekly and bragging how they were absolutely "guaranteed" to ship on time. And now we're already selling fewer copies than we did of the prior series, *sad trombone noise*

And the shame of it is that the book is very readable again, after a pretty dire patch of thinking it was better than it was -- I thought this issue was solidly GOOD.

UNCANNY X-MEN #6: Speaking of Bendis, he's just killing it here. KILLING.

I don't know why -- maybe because the Claremont DNA makes "chatty" a good move for x-books? I don't know, but this (and "All New") are absolutely "good" Bendis, and I thought this issue, with art by the incomparable Frazer Irving, was VERY GOOD.

YOUNG AVENGERS #5: Really GOOD ending to the first arc, and they're all given a plausible reason to be a team. It's just too bad that "Avengers" comics are as common as STDs on a hooker these days, because the clutter on the shelf (there are FOUR "Avengers" comics just this WEEK) is leaving this one the poor-selling stepchild.

Right, then, that's me -- what did YOU think?

-B

Wait, What? Ep. 114: Everything We Could Stand

Jaxxon drawing by our very own renaissance man, Graeme McMillan...

Skip week is over so we are back for another episode or two (we will probably skip Valentine's Day, I am betting that right now). Before we get into it, though: look at that Jaxxon! What a great drawing of a very old, obscure Star Wars character that I dearly love! Well done, Mr. Graeme McMillan, well done.  Please email me if you want to be part of the crew that tries to peer pressure Graeme into drawing more comics...

After the jump: Love! Links! Show notes!

So, yes.  Links first, eh?  Long-time listeners should be not at all surprised that we are fans of ol' Jaxxon (the space bunny portrayed above).  And, similarly, you may remember that we both have much love for Mike Russell's Sabretooth Vampire.  So imagine my delight to come across the link for "Jaxxon's 11," a Star Wars fan comic by Russell and David Stroup--it's currently incomplete but, hey!  68 pages of old-school Star Wars nerdery.  For free!

All right.  Let's get our show notes on, shall we?

0:00-3:03: "Previously on Wait, What?"  An introduction/apologia/master plan/what have you with a super-brief discussion of our skip week time off and then moving right into… 3:03-25:33:  issues of Green Lantern's Rise of the Third Army crossover that Graeme has read, and our befuddlement about Geoff Johns and the current state of the Green Lantern franchise generally. 25:33-32:31: Graeme also received a copy of the Batman & Robin Annual and quite liked it! Jeff read Batman Inc. #7 and was squirrelly about it!  Also, thanks to the continuing recommendations of Martin Gray over at Too Dangerous for a Girl, Jeff also read Superman Family Adventures issues #8 and 9 and greatly enjoyed those! Yep, you should think about picking those up. 32:31-38:59:  Speaking of cute, Graeme points out that the Comixology collection of Superboy has gotten up to issue #50 of the '90s run, which means Karl Kesel and Tom Grummett's "Last Boy on Earth" storyline is now easily available for Kirby fans like me who'd missed it the first time around!  Also, currently on sale (at least by the time I initially post this) and verrrry tempting at .99 an issue:  Green Lantern Mosaic. 38:59-39:34: Soulful Intermission #1 39:34-51:48: And we're back: with more Green Lantern talk (for a moment or two).  And with more personal chit-chat, as Jeff tells how he and Edi survived their first sleepover with their three year old niece.  Somewhat longish, very little comic book talk is involved (although there is some chit-chat about Dora The Explorer) and obviously should be considered optional and bonus material.  Will not be covered on the final exam. 51:48-54:34:  Comic book news! There's…not much.  Although we do discuss the terrifying process of WTF certification DC Comics is putting forward. 54:34-59:22: Wonder Woman #16!  Jeff has some words about it. 59:22-1:06:57: By contrast, Jeff has other words that he has to use about the other comic, Flash #16.  Some other chit-chat ensues about the DC New 52 books (specifically, Action).  On a similar-but-different note, Graeme picked up the trade of New Deadwardians after hearing Jeff singing its praises and also quite liked it. That means New Deadwardians is two-for-two on the Wait, What? Approval Meter and you should considering picking it up. 1:06:57-1:14:29: We're just about ready to get to questions (no, really) but we thought it perhaps prudent to talk about Uncanny Avengers #3 first. 1:14:29-1:32:11: Oh, and Avengers issues #3 and #4. Yeah, a lot of talk about Avengers #3 and #4. 1:32:11-1:36:59:  And then there were….Questions!  Kid Showbusiness on December 6th, 2012 at 1:48 pm asked:  What’s your take on this Jonathan Hickman quote: “Most of the talent creating books at Marvel are fairly progressive, so generally we all want diversity in the abstract,” he said. “The problem comes from the fact that the catalog of Marvel (and DC) characters are predominantly straight white male because of the era they were conceived in — and it’s the basic building blocks of what we have to work with. Which begets the question: Well Jonathan, if this is really one of the root causes of the problem, if you really feel that way — if you’re not a fraud — why don’t you just go create some new, more diverse characters? “Which is where things get tricky,” he continued. “In light of numerous historical examples, contractual realities, and the shelf life of creators, is it really in a creator’s best interest to be making brand new IP for the big companies on the cheap? I mean, we still do it sometimes, because, frankly, we can’t not…it’s in our DNA as storytellers and problem solvers — but is it the ‘right’ thing to do? Would it be right for people to ‘expect me’ to do that? I don’t think so. But that’s just one example — There are others (some even more negative, plenty positive).” 1:36:59-1:48:49:  George T on December 6th, 2012 at 1:54 pm asked: 1) I have never read an Avengers comic. If I were to read one issue of the Avengers what should it be? 2) I have never watched or read any Dr Who. What is a good place to pick it up? Other than 1966… 1:48:49-2:06:33:  Mike Loughlin on December 6th, 2012 at 4:41 pm said: 1) Which Marvel and DC characters that headline their own books or are members of a team should be put aside for a year or two? Which Marvel and DC characters have been poorly-written the longest? 2) If the Big 2 super-hero comics were redesigned to be more all-ages- and woman-friendly, do you think sales would increase? Has the new readers ship already sailed? Also mentioned in there somewhere, is Chad Nevett's amazing blog-a-thon over at Graphic Content   and Comics Should Be Good, where you can catch Graeme and Chad talking Peter David's Star Wars books, Chad and I swapping thought on Jim Starlin's Dreadstar, Tucker Stone bringing the pain, and much, much more. 2:06:33-end: Closing comments! Natalie Imbruglia! Our first podcast without any discussion of Misfits in almost a month. And only twenty some-odd questions to go. Wow!

Amazing, eh?  Yes, Graeme and I thought so too, undoubtedly.  As you know, we've got ourselves a little ranch out on the iTunes/RSS frontier, you can stop by any time you like.  But you can also kick up your boots and sample our wares below, if preferred:

Wait, What? Ep. 114: Everything We Could Stand

As always, we hope you enjoy and stop by next week for the next one!

Wait, What? Ep. 113: Technically Difficult

A page from Shotaro Ishinomori's Kikaider, which we didn't even discuss this week but which I kinda adore, nonetheless...

ATTENTION, ATTENTION, NEXT WEEK WILL BE A SKIP WEEK FOR THE PODCAST.  NEXT WAIT IS A WEEK, WHAT? SKIPCAST!

You may not care.  In fact, you may be relieved but either way, Graeme and I will not be talking one another's ear off this week so there won't be anything for you to listen to from us next week.  Maybe you can get out of the house for a bit?  Go for a walk?  Realize that although it's probably too late to do that "52 books  in 52 weeks" you promised, you can maybe still get in 48 in 48 weeks?

Either way, we are here today, gone tomorrow (by which we mean: next week).

As for that "here today" part--show notes after the jump!

Yeah, we had all kinds of technical problems again...sorry about that.  Maybe one day soon, we will try tech solution Omega...but I'm not looking forward to that too much, to be honest.  I'm hoping we can come up something a little bit better than using an atomic bomb we worship as a god to blow up the planet...

0:00-8:49: Hello! 113 is apparently an unlucky number?  Graeme reports on the bounce houses in the sky, and also a story about a prison break that seems very Beagle Boy-esque. 8:49-27:47: 'Comic news' is a great term because most people would say it's neither.  Nonetheless, we discuss the new column by Bob Harras and Bobbie Chase (which they call B&B, but I sort of wish they'd titled "Two Bobs and a Weave"), the news of writers getting pulled off their books before their first issues are even out, etc., etc. Sadly, we have a dose of  our infuriatingly intermittent tech problems plaguing us a bit during this conversation (that eventually builds to a somewhat hilarious obsession on Jeff's part about whether or not he's rocking in his chair too much, or at all).  Our apologies.  Poor DC--once we're done with that, we grouse about their really bad covers, lately.  Also, Jeff has a metaphor for the New DC that probably reveals a bit too much about his family past, maybe. 27:47-41:17:  And because Marvel doesn't get a free pass (except when they do), we also discuss the upcoming Thanos Rising miniseries and compare/contrast with DC's Birds of Prey debacle.  Also, Jeff tries to start an urban legend where if you look in a mirror and say "Mark Badger, Mark Badger, Mark Badger" three times, a Batman miniseries appears. A discussion of how much "there" needs to be there for a comics news story to be a news story... 41:17-41:38: Intermission (Jaunty)! 41:38-53:30:  Comic books!  Graeme and Jeff discuss New Avengers #2 by Jonathan Hickman and Steve Epting; and Jeff talks about how Marvel is creeping him out a little bit. 53:30-1:00:09: Captain America #3!  Graeme isn't reading it; Jeff is, but is somewhat troubled by Cap being less of a Kirbyesque Cap than a Milleresque Cap, and later, while editing the podcast, is a little horrified that this is a complaint he actually made with his face. 1:00:09-1:05:53: Graeme has read the latest issue of Daredevil and then an advance ARC of Paul Pope's The One Trick Rip-Off.  After more techie problems, we decided to jump just a bit early and come back with a different (and more reliable) mic. 1:05:53-1:06:15: Intermission (Jazzy)! 1:06:15-1:08:17:  Round Three!  Graeme has noticed something about the latest Marvel solicitations that suggests they're not reading them especially closely.  He also has good news about Avengers Assemble #14? 1:08:17-1:14:57:  Batman #16 and Batman and Robin #16!  The Death of the Family stuff is just intensely, baroquely fucked up in a way that reminds Jeff of another Batman book that may not be what Scott Snyder and the Bat-team had in mind… 1:14:57-1:23:42:  Issues #5 and #6 of Black Kiss 2!  It's the grand wrap-up of a this mighty odd sequel from Howard Chaykin. 1:23:42-1:42:13:  Questions, finally!   Al Ewing asked: Where do you stand on: 1) Vodka And Coke; 2) Christmas Crackers; 3) Dennis The Menace vs Dennis The Menace And Gnasher; 4) Big sacks with ‘SWAG’ on them vs Big sacks with ‘$’ on them; 5) The ‘aggro style’ UK comics of the late seventies; 6) Hi-style design-heaviness in US superhero work – could the design sensibility of a David Aja or a Johnathan Hickman replace the hem-hem ‘design’ sensibility of bendy spines and porn poses and upskirt angles if we all wish really really hard? 7) Bad Machinery/Girls With Slingshots/Dinosaur Comics 1:42:13-1:56:19: Mo Walker asked: 1). If you could put together an Avengers/Justice League style team comprised of Kirby characters, who would make the cut? 2). What are your thoughts on series 4 of Misfits? 1:56:19-1:59:40: JohnK (UK) asked: 1) A revival of Quality’s BIG BEN – The Man With No Time For Crime by Al Ewing and J Bone – Yes or No? QUICKLY! Yes or No? 2) Biggest Loss to Comics’ archive: ROM, ATARI FORCE or MICRONAUTS(original runs, natch!) 3) Who really owns Marvelman (in less than 10 words)? 4) a) Was “Jimmy Broxton” the artist on KNIGHT & SQUIRE a pseudonym? b)If so, who for? 1:59:40-end:  Closing comments.  Extra apologies.  A notice is made (as it was above) that next week is a skip week and so we will not be around but shall return the week after that.

If all of this sets your glands a-salivatin', then feel free to pull up a stool and being listening now!

Wait, What? Ep. 113: Technically Difficult

As always, we hope you enjoy and thanks for listening!

Wait, What? Ep. 112: A New Dope

Wasn't able to find Ditko inking Kirby, but here's Dan Clowes inking Ditko! Ganked from Robot 6 and elsewhere...

Okay, and so but here is our latest episode about which I will provide you with more detail after the jump!

Sorry for the rush, crew:  running a little late (when aren't I?) and haven't quite figured out a way to do the show notes for the Q&A that didn't involve a ton of formatting inside the WordPress entry which is a bit of a headache so pardon me if I just start in, yes?

0:00-3:56: Greetings are exchanged!  Apologies are made!

3:56-13:56: Superior Spider-Man #1!…is a thing we are talking about.  Comic talk so early?  It can happen! Dreams can come true, it can happen to you, if you're young at heart.  Something I didn't think we would complain about?  Superhero fight scenes.  And there may or may not be subliminal messages via distant dog barking, I'm not really allowed to see.

13:56-20:21: Also, through the largesse of a Whatnaut, Jeff was able to read New Avengers #1 by Jonathan Hickman & Steve Epting.

20:21-23:31: All-New X-Men #5!  One of us liked it; one of us didn't.  To say more would give away….The Prestige! (I don't really know what that means, but it was remarkably enjoyable to type.)

23:31-46:39: Answering questions? Will we ever? Maaaaaaaybe, but we decide to talk about other books we read this week: Graeme has read Action Comics #16, as well as the entire run of Batman, Inc.--which Graeme has some really interesting ideas about; Buffy The Vampire Slayer #17; Earth Two #8; Fantastic Four #3 ;and  Iron Man #5.

46:39-47:14: Our sole intermission?  In fact…yes!

47:14-55:32:  On our return, we discuss Star Wars #1 by Brian Wood and Carlos D'Anda.  And, since that series is set immediately after A New Hope, we talk about that movie and what we've liked about that film and where it went afterward.

55:32-1:05:34: As for Jeff, most of what he's read has been digital: Thor #4; six weeks of Shonen Jump Alpha, The Phoenix Comic, and 2000 AD (with enthusiastic run-downs of his favorites in each).

1:05:34-1:10:22:  Then Jeff has a story about being retweeted he thinks is funny. Yes, people: this is why Jeff is terrible. He actually thinks you can tell a funny story…about being retweeted. Far funnier is how quickly and completely Graeme trumps the story.

1:10:22-1:10:30:  And then…questions!  For real, y'all, for real.

1:10:30-1:11:15:  The Dave Clarke Five! (By which I mean, five questions from our pal Dave Clarke.)  Dave Clarke asks:  "Is it fair to say that half the appeal of superhero comics is getting to talk about (and/or bitch about) them with your friends?"

1:11:15-1:14:10: Also, from Dave Clarke:  "Can loyal Whatnauts look forward to more 2000AD discussion in 2013?"

1:14:10-1:15:45:  Dave Clarke! "Would you ever do a crossover episode with House to Astonish?"

1:15:45-1:15:55: DC:  "Which is better: Glamourpuss or Holy Terror?"

1:15:55-1:21:13:  DC Implosion! "Last time you guys did a question episode Jeff promised to describe more things as ‘chill’. Is there anything Jeff has read/seen/tasted lately that he would describe as ‘chill’?"  

1:21:13-1:23:09: Question 1 of 2 from Jer:  "Waffles. Can the concept fly in other parts of the country? Or is it Portland specific for some reason — and why?"

1:23:09-1:34:02:  Question 2 of 2 from Jer:  "I’d like to know what comics media you guys generally consume daily/weekly/monthly (of course, Graeme reads 16 sites by only reading his own stuff, right?). Obv. you read Bleeding Cool at times; what about TCJ online? Etc.?"  [This is one of our classic 'Goofus and Gallant" moments.]

1:34:02-1:38:38: Steve queried: "What surprised you (positively or negatively) in the comics industry in 2012? Any predictions for 2013?(Unless you were planning to cover that sort of thing in your last podcast this year or first one next year anyway.)"

1:38:38-1:40:41:  Colbert said: "Opinions on best inkers for Kirby and Steve Ditko inking Kirby. And… damn. I can’t think of a waffle joke."

1:40:41-1:44:39:  A.L. Baroza asked:  "In light of the Sean Howe book and the brief discussion here a few podcasts back over just what it is that a comics editor does these days, what do you two consider a good or effective example of comics editing for Big Two corporate superhero IP? Keeping in mind that there’s always gonna be a tension between creator ambition, the company need to police and maintain a character’s brand, and a primarily nostalgia-slash-event-driven market. Is it even possible these days to navigate through all the competing demands and end up with something like “art”, or should we just write off the idea of lofty ambition for the genre at this point?"

1:44:39-1:45:06: J_Smitty_ asked: "What do you think of the new Ke$ha record?"

1:45:06-1:51:18:  Jerry Smith asked: "(1) Spider-Man: Ditko or Romita?  (2) Do you buy $4.00 comics? What is the highest price you would pay for a 22-32 page floppy?  (3) Karen Berger as head of creative development at Image Comics. Please consider and comment."

1:51:18-1:55:38:  MBunge asked: "The internet – the future of comic books or comic strips? It seems to me that the web is not really a delivery or economic format that lends itself to producing a blob of words and art once a month/two months/whenever lazy ass pros or guys who have to work real jobs to support their comics hobby can squeeze some work out."

1:55:38-2:03:38:  Mike Walker has a couple of questions: "The “make your own waffle station” at the hotel complimentary breakfast: Good idea or bad idea?  What’s your opinion on Bagels? Are frozen bagels out of the question? Fruity cream cheese or regular cream cheese? Describe your ideal bagel (if there is one.)  What was your most successful “cleanse?” Can we organize a “Wait, What: Cleanse Week?” Because I would like to see the comments after that week. Are you looking forward to a podcast where you aren’t answering questions, possibly sometime in 2014? What was your favorite Dave Clarke question? Least favorite?"

2:03:38-end: CLOSING COMMENTS REMEMBER TO TIP YOUR WAITRESS

And, lest I forget, here's the link:

Wait, What? Ep. 112: A New Dope

Hope you enjoy; there is more where that came from, coming soon!  Until then, thanks for listening and we hope you enjoy!

Wait, What? Ep. 111: Things That Go Wrong...

It's....not easy to explain. Trust me.

Oh, man.  Remember all the questions you guys asked us and we didn't get to?  Well, don't say we didn't start 2013 right!

After the jump:  Show notes,  no more terrifying photos, still kissing with saliva, etc., etc.

0:00-12:00:  Greetings!  Before the comics talk, Graeme and Jeff catch up with what they did during the holidays.  Unsurprisingly, Jeff got sick and moped.  Even less surprisingly, Graeme worked. And worked.  And worked.  Other exciting topics covered:  inadvertent tech problems, deliberate tech problems, Cocoa Pebbles, Cocoa Puffs, and Cocoa Krispies and Honey Monster, the Sugar Puffs mascot. 12:00-29:03: Jeff talks about the first season of American Horror Story, which is another "what we did during the holidays" topic, and that leads into a discussion about things that go wrong, TV, and includes mention of The West Wing and Agatha Christie's Tommy and Tuppence.  And, just as we almost start talking about comics, we swerve and talk about Misfits about which, in a weird reversal of the status quo, Jeff is caught up on and Graeme is not.  Also, you will never know how much coughing I had to edit out to make this sound at all listenable, but it was kind of a lot.  Some of them I had to keep in so we could (sort of) hear Graeme.  Sorry about that. 29:03-36:16:  Graeme lists the comics he's read! Hey everybody, we're talking about comics!  Well, starting to talk about comics! Well, almost…starting to…talk… 36:16-36:52: Intermission Uno! 36:52-38:52:  Hey, who has two thumbs and has been interviewed again by Canadian Television? This guy….Graeme McMillan, whom we all know.  Yes, CL Cool Graeme (Canada Loves Cool Graeme) is burning up the airwaves. 38:52-56:58:  Comics!  We were supposed to talk about all those books Graeme listed so of course…we don't talk about them.  Instead, we talk about Amazing Spider-Man #700. 56:58-1:05:35: And from there, we talk a spot of news--the promotions of Bob Harras and Hank Kanalz over at DC. Also, those great lists of CE's top-selling books for 2012. 1:05:35-1:05:50: And so…we finally get around to talking about the list of comics Graeme bought!  Or….do we? (Hint: we don't). 1:05:50-1:06:38: Intermission Two! 1:06:38-1:07:23: And we're back…and the sound is a bit hinky for some reason? Have we thanked you for continuing to listen to us recently?  We really should! 1:07:23-1:23:23:  Remember that list of comics Graeme mentioned way back when?  Here it is! A delightful batch of old issues Graeme picked up at his local comic book shop's sale: Batman and the Outsiders Annual #1 (1984); DC Comics Presents #60 (Superman and Guardians of the Universe);    Machine Man #10 by Marv Wolfman and Steve Ditko; Micronauts Annual #1 (1979); Mr. Miracle Special by Mark Evanier and Steve Rude (1987); and the DC Comics Mystery In Space DC Presents One-Shot (2004) featuring Elliot S! Maggin & J.H. Williams III, and Grant Morrison & Jerry Ordway. 1:23:23-1:39:12: Also, something comics-related(!):  Graeme and I talk Final Crisis since both of us (weirdly enough) had re-read it in the last month or so:  ccontinuity, the New 52, reverse time, and issues of race, are among the subjects of our conversational hand-wringing. Then…techpocalypse forces us to cut things short in mid-convo and try again. 1:39:12-1:39:32: Intermission 3! 1:39:32-1:42:35: And we are back! (After a few failed attempts, which were a bit on the crazy-making side of things?)  So it's back to more Final Crisis talk--where are those Batman issues?  What about the Legion of 3 Worlds? 1:42:35-end: And now on to some quick chat about new comics--Flash #15 and its amazing second half by Francis Manapul; New Avengers #1 by Jonathan Hickman and Steve Epting (including a shout-out to Abhay's fantastic commentary on Hickman's Secret); Sachie-Chan Good!! by Akira Toriyama and Masakazu Katsura (which inspires Graeme to recount the "Miss Universe" pitch from the Downey Files podcast); Batman Inc. #6; Saga #8; Wonder Woman #15; Fatale #11 by Brubaker and Phillips; Prophet #32; Godzilla: The Half-Century War #4; Witch-Doctor: Mal Practice #2; and (digitally) the first volume of Kikaider by Shotaro Ishinomori (sooooo good!)  And then a little after the two hour mark--we are finished!  For now. [Cue ominous music...]

As I'm a bit out of practice, a bit sick, and staring down the barrel of an early wake-up call, let me just cut through the niceties and say: it's good to be back!  (Hold up, brain: isn't that a nicety right there?)  And blah blah blah blah iTunes, but also right here, and so on:

Wait, What? Ep. 111: Things That Go Wrong

Ah, but no worries we will be back next week--here is to a Happy New Year to all and, as you may have guessed, we thank you for listening!

Wait, What? Ep. 109: Delightful

Two panels from Avengers #1. Captain America sounds kinda bitchy here, doesn't he?

Happy holidays!  Ho ho ho!  Uhh.... Gather Ye Rosebuds While You May!

(Man, I gotta outsource the holiday sections of these entries to Graeme or something.  I am really bad at this!)

Anyway, behind the jump...Show Notes!

0:00-7:13:  Welcome!  We start things bright and cheerful by talking about the possible coming apocalypse.  Are we welcoming you to next-to-last Wait, What? ever? (We're not.) (Or are we?)  (But, really, we're not.) But Graeme's thesis is that 2012 was such a shitty year, it's easy to believe that even the end of the world would be preferable to it continuing. True for you?

Also, because this is the first of two eps. wherein we answer your questions, let's see if this approach makes for a nice, clear set of shownotes or not:

7:13-10:21:  Answered first, since it's been lingering!  From T.:  "Okay, I asked this earlier, but can you recite the Four or so stock Bendis characters or voices that you mentioned two podcasts ago, and can you provide examples? I think the only one you got to was the “smart guy” character/voice." Here is part one of our answer with All-New X-Men #3 discussed as well.

10:21-21:01: But because we are us, we go on to discuss Avengers #1 by Jonathan Hickman and Jerome Opena instead. I'm really tempted to spoil the joke team in this one because I thought it was pretty funny, but I'll let you find it out for yourself.

21:01-25:51:  And then, because we are conscientious types, we go back to talking about the four basic Bendis voices, and the voices he can't seem to quite catch.

25:51-27:10: Whew!  Our first question answered!  Then, because of of some weird connection problems on Graeme's problems, we move right to...

27:10-27:32:  MUSICAL INTERLUDE THE FIRST

27:32-46:16:  We are back to talk about a topic we promised to discuss last time--how the Internet turned thought into a widget.  Hopefully, this is more than just a standard INTERNET WAAH WAAH WAAH discussion. Among things mentioned: Steampunk, the collapse of the porn industry, zombie hordes, etc.

46:16-1:03:03:  Twitter Question #1: from @adampknave: Redo MarvelNOW: "Cast your 2 X-Men & 2 Avenger books + what creative teams? BONUS: Justify a D-Man series".

1:03:03-1:03:26:  MUSICAL INTERLUDE THE SECOND

1:03:26-1:08:43: Twitter Question #2 from @adampknave: "What sandwiches and pies are you both looking forward to in 2013?"  If you are in the Bay Area, I highly recommend you order the Cran-Apple Pie from these guys  before the end of December….

1:08:43-1:10:40: Twitter Question #3 from @Twyst: "What would Wolverine get as gifts for each of the Avengers?"

1:10:40-1:20:38: Twitter Question #4 from @davepress:"what do you think Karen Berger will do next? You'll probably get into this anyway."

1:20:38-1:21:09: Twitter Question #5 from @davepress:"also what writing project are you working on Jeff? (I don't care about you, Graeme. Kidding!)"

1:21:09-1:22:14:Twitter Question #6 from CandyAppleAlly: "Does Marvel hate Scarlet Witch fans more than DC hates Stephanie Brown fans or vice-versa?"

1:22:14-1:25:44: Twitter Question #7 from @zhalfim: "what comics this year did you like that you never ever expected to like?"

1:25:44-1:28:01: Twitter Question #8 from @zhalfim: "(you don't have to answer both either/or is cool) what is the most memorable thing said in this year's run of podcasts?"

1:28:01-1:33:46: Web Question #1 from Dr. Timebomb:  "With Karen Berger leaving DC I’ve thought about the major changes DC has gone through recently. It was only a few years ago that in addition to the DC Universe and Vertigo you had Humanoids, CMX, Minx, and, on the web, Zuda. DC overall seemed to be servicing all aspects of the industry. Variety was a value.  Why didn’t it work? Is it a matter of readers not showing up, therefore these initiatives not making enough beans for the bean counters? Is it impatience/short-sightedness on the part of the publishers? Which side shoulders the blame, and is it more than just one side?"

1:33:46-1:44:48:  Web Question #2 from Faur:  "Do you think the role of the artist, artwork, and his or her visual storytelling are given the appropriate amount of consideration in online comics criticism, particularly in criticism of mainstream comics? Follow-up question: Do you think artists are given appropriate credit for a comic’s commercial success?"  Our answer incorporates more discussion of Avengers #1.

1:44:48-1:45:34:Web Question #3(a) from Alan Smith:  "Q. Why are you guys so negative on Mark Miller and Jim Shooter? (not trolling I’m new to comics)."  Cue the link to Marvel Comics: The Untold Story.

1:45:34-1:50:46:Web Question #3(b) from Alan Smith: "Q. (to Jeff re Marvel boycott) Why are you OK with buying/using Apple products to read comics when that company has arguably a far worse attitude to labour relations/creator rights/worker rights than Marvel?"

1:50:46-1:56:05:  Web Question #4 from Dan Coyle:  "Q: What do you think victory is for Steve Wacker?" On a related note, Amazing Spider-Man #799 is discussed. On a related, related note, even after reminding himself repeatedly, Jeff still refers to issue #799 as issue #699.  Denial!

1:56:05-FINI: Time is called, after Jeff's last-ditch attempt to run the ball out of bounds fails. Holiday wishes are made, theme music is played.

Whew, I know, right?  It's like the type of cliffhanger you might see at the end of an Adam West Batman episode!  If it took us two hours to answer thirteen questions and we can only record one more episode where we have to answer thirty-plus questions then how are we going to.... <insert headsplode here>

(Nah, it'll all work out, I'm sure.)

Anyhoo: maybe you've already come across this episode on iTunes.  Or maybe you haven't and you just want to listen to it here?? Either way, it is waiting for you below:

Wait, What? Ep. 109: Delightful

And join us here next week for our epic wrap-up just in time for the holiday break!  Hope you enjoy, etc., etc.

Wait, What? Ep. 103: Churls on Film

They had me at "Kpow!": Gil Kane Atom slugs Gil Kane Green Lantern, from Justice League of America #200.

And so it's that time again, O Mighty Whatnauts.  Join us behind the jump for show notes and kvetching, 'kay?

So, first things first:  sorry for the bad run of luck we've been having vis-a-vis technical difficulties. Graeme starts out the podcast echo-y as all hell but fortunately it gets much better about half an hour through...because we have to stop the call and start again.

In fact, at one point after Graeme and I had been talking for ninety minutes or so, Skype just up and died on me in a way that--unlike other times--caused the recording program to crash out as well, making it look like we'd only have a half-hour podcast, talking about little more than detox diets, Marvel sales strategies, and how Graeme's library system is so much better than my library system.  Thank goodness, I found the temp file and was able to find instructions on the Internet on how to make it editable.   So, you know... hooray for the Internet!  It'd be nice if something other than hard liquor could now make my hands stop trembling but...eh.  What are you gonna do?

And on that note of melancholic resignation...show notes!

0:00-7:00:  Greetings!  Also, because apparently we don't use Twitter properly:  what did we just have for lunch?  Because Jeff is doing an elimination diet and Graeme has had experience with those.  Yes, this is about as far from Waffle Talk as we can get, alas.

7:00-14:31:  Superior Spider-Man!  Graeme has an update for Jeff as what might be going on there with that upcoming event.  Is Dan Slott giving us the Spider-Man comic readers want?  The comic he wants?  Both? Neither?

14:31-29:50:  Then we discuss Marvel's current sales.  It is probably pretty easy to figure out how we got from the previous topic to this one.  Because Jeff had yet to purchase Sean Howe's Marvel Comics: The Untold Story we didn't spend the whole podcast talking about the book, but Graeme does tell me a little bit about the book.  We manage to once again work in a mention of Sean's amazing Tumblr, Graeme uses the word "spectacular" and Matt Fraction gets mentioned--so please check those boxes off your Wait, What? bingo board.

29:50-37:56:  New comics! Which is to say: old comics!  Yes, Jeff was a little strapped for cash last week and so tried to live life the Graeme McMillons way...by checking books out of the library. Because it is not Graeme's magical Portland library, Jeff's picks are a little more off the beaten path but worthy of discussion anyway.  First up:  Empire State by Jason Shiga.  Also, Jeff exhorts Graeme to check out superstar-in-the-making Jason Shiga in Derek Kirk Kim's Youtube comedy series about struggling cartoonists, Mythomania.  See Jason Shiga before he becomes Judd Apatow'snext superstar!

37:56-39:39: And then....tech disaster!  We end up having to break off the call to get Skype to behave.

39:39-47:32: Back to books! Jeff sums up his feelings on Empire State before moving on to 120 Days of Simon by Simon Gardenfors, a book so impressive Graeme didn't recognize the name despite having actually read it.  (To be honest, Jeff isn't so crazy about it, either.)  If the idea of a cartoonist traveling cross-country to be befriended by strangers and fans, Jeff recommends the similar-but-far-superior Red Eye, Black Eye by K. Thor Jensen (the title of which Jeff, in true Jeff-like fashion, reverses when he discusses it).

47:32-58:39:  Saving the best for last, Jeff discusses Hikaru No Go by Yumi Hotta and Takeshi Obata.  He didn't read it quite far enough to have a very solid understanding of the game Go (I say that we know it here in the States as Othello which is utterly wrong) but actually liked it quite a lot.  (Now that he's three volumes in, he can say he likes it even more!  And that Go is not Othello.)  We talk about how this is exactly the kind of educational but addictive comics that manga can do so well.

58:39-1:12:01: Also in the old stuff that is awesome category, Jeff discovers the first two issues of Ostrander and McDonnell's Suicide Squad are on Comixology (first issue is ninety-nine cents!) and re-reads them for the first time in almost thirty years.  Somehow, despite there being eleven panels on the page, these are widescreen comics before widescreen comics were invented.  Also read by Jeff on Graeme's recommendation Justice League of America Annual #2 with the formation of Justice League Detroit, as well as issues #107 and #108 of JLA featuring the return of the Freedom Fighters.  And Graeme makes JLA #200 sound pretty damn great as well. (See above for proof.)

1:12:01-1:22:04:  Comixology...Submit!  It's not some crazed BDSM fad that's sweeping the nation, it's the new program coming from Comixology that allows people to get their own self-published books on Comixology (for a 50% cut of the proceeds).  Is it a good deal, especially considering the very quiet launch of Hunt Emerson's app of his own material.

1:22:04-1:37:02: Jeff had an uncomfortable moment with Uncanny Avengers #1 on Comixology, but Graeme, having read it, apparently had even more.  We also discuss Fraction's Iron Man which is now coming to an end, and which we both admit we want to see where it goes.  And Graeme also has two great bits of semi-related behind-the-scenes Marvel info, courtesy of Sean Howe's book.

1:37:02-end: Graeme tries to make Jeff guess which book he recently read and enjoyed? [Hint: it's really not the book you would expect.  Certainly, Jeff didn't.]  And which book he also read but cannot discuss?  [You can probably figure this one out.]  As is our wont, we also talk related sales figures and the like until Jeff, weakened and famished, convinces Graeme to issue his mystical cry to end the podcast.  One step closer to Ragnarok!

The show should have already popped up on your RSS feed of choice or made its appearance felt in the luminiferous ether that is iTunes...but you can also gather friends around a table, conduct a little seance, and conjure it here, should the spirits move you:

Wait, What? Ep. 103: Churls on Film

And, as always, we hope you enjoy!

Wait, What? Ep. 91: Trip

Okay, super-super short here as I am in the process of, even now, packing and panicking like a full-fledged fool in preparation for the upcoming vacation to Portland. (And, yes, if it is not a waffle-filled one, I will be very, very pissed.)

We actually talk a little bit about that in this episode so I won't bore you with it now.  Instead, I will bore you with a fast list of the things Graeme and I talk about in good ol' ep. 91:  a long discussion about Casanova 3.4; Zaucer of Zilk by Brendan McCarthy and Al Ewing; Matt Howarth, Lou Stathis, and Those Annoying Post Bros. (from which the above image has been lovingly nicked); why the song remains the same; copied characters, satire, and analogues; the point of a first issue in modern comics; Spider-Men #1; that old Parker luck and the Spider-Man movie franchise; the evolution of Marvel's edgier heroes; Saga #4, Avengers Vs. X-Men, and more!

It's....probably on iTunes?  In fact, hell, let's just go ahead and say yeah sure it's definitely on iTunes.  But let's also make an amazing leap of faith and say that it is also right here, just below, and available for your listening pleasure:

Wait, What? Ep. 91: Trip

As always, we hope you enjoy and thanks for listening!

Here comes Crankypants!: Hibbs' 5/23

Here I am, here I am!

(Yeah, I skipped a week, sorry)

AQUAMAN #9: Here we are at issue number NINE of this comic, and I've realized that I still really don't know who Aquaman is, or what motivates him (other than "being pissed off", I guess, generically?). I mean, I like the character just fine, but there's not any "there" there, is there? Pretty much just a collection of cool powers and a costume. And this "Aquaman's other team" storyline is just as bad at this, introducing several new characters, again, who don't seem to have clear personalities or motivations. And yet, and yet.... and yet, I kinda still like it, because Ivan Reis is a very good artist, and Johns knows how to write compelling action and dialogue, but it still feel like less than the sum of its parts to me.

I didn't like the cliffhanger either. Besides the tarnishment it implies, I'm kinda getting sick of John's Daddy Issues as being the only kind of motivation that anyone ever has.

I enjoyed this more than the rating as I was reading it, but here two days later I can't say this is anything other than OK.

BATMAN INCORPORATED #1: I liked the issue just fine as chapter #81 (or something like that? He's coming close on 100 Batman comics, isn't he?) of Grant Morrison's Batman run -- especially because Chris Burnham is one hell of an artist -- in fact, as issue #81, this was pretty crazy awesomely good, but I'm this weird old fashioned kind of a guy who thinks that a first issue of a series should contain it's premise. I thought this was largely unreadable as a FIRST ISSUE, and it's hard to see where the "incorporated" comes from here. So that's going to knock this down at least an entire grade to only a GOOD. You can tell me I am a crankypants. But it won't stick, because I'm also pushing for a Bat-Cow mini-series. So there.

FANTASTIC FOUR #606: It's nice to see Hickman doing a "traditional" FF story for once -- where they are heroically exploring. And then there's a fun little "twist" at the end that makes it even better. A nearly perfect little "done in one" issue that I thought was VERY GOOD.

FLASH #9: Pretty pretty comic, every month without fail, but can I say that I've yet to find the "new" Speed Force to be compelling, and Barry Allen personally even less so? I think tying in the "origin" of Gorilla City to Flash is incredibly wrong-headed, and I don't like the new Grodd's relationship to his fellow residents. But it is pretty, and therefore, at least OK.

IRREDEEMABLE #37: As impossibly powerful as Waid has made his title character, there was largely only way this could end, and Waid did almost exactly what I thought he was going to do. Exxxxxcept, I was thinking that "energy" would moebius-loop somehow (like the Supremium Man in Alan Moore's Supreme), and I didn't expect that Waid would then make his evil analogue responsible for the creation of the original from Siegel and Shuster. That's kind of ballsy. Or douchey, I don't know. For leaving a bad taste in my mouth, I sadly have to go with AWFUL, when it's not nearly that bad -- hell, I'm sure Mark didn't consciously realize that's how it would be taken; but there it is.

JUSTICE LEAGUE DARK #9: Jeff Lemire's first issue, and the book takes a decided turn towards "traditional super team" with a guest appearance by Steve Trevor, an explicit naming of the team, tie ins to the "black room" plot points in JL, and so on. And it strikes me that in a way this is a larger betrayal of anything the creator envisioned, or the character was built to be, or, hell, of their sister imprint for that matter, than "Before Watchmen" is going to be. It also seems like it undoes Gaiman's Sandman kind of explicitly.  Which is weird. I kind of don't understand what this book is meant to be, and the nuDCU has way too many superteams-without-a-clear-function titles already. More than anything, I'd guess this book is aimed at formal Marvel editors who sneered a lot about Vertigo when it launched -- "Sandman done right" and all that. That's not a very large audience, though; and I don't see how this book doesn't just keep freefalling from issue to issue like it has been. Extremely EH.

MIND MGMT #1: It has been a terrific year for amazing first issues from new independent ongoing series, and this one spreads the love over to Dark Horse for possibly the strongest debut issue yet this year (which is a crowded field, I think, with things like SAGA and MANHATTAN PROJECTS and PROPHET, etc. etc). There's this wonderful wonderful density to this title, which sets up a wide-ranging conspiracy theory-ish story like, say, "Lost" or "Fringe", and does so under the incredibly assured layouts of Matt Kindt. I absolutely admire Kindt's storytelling and energy on the page, though I constantly think that he'd be incredibly aided by having a solid and professional finisher to ink him -- there are pieces of this that really look like layouts more than anything else, and I think that stylistic choice is going to turn a lot of the widest potential audience off.  Try to overlook it, though, or you're missing something really special.  Kindt colors the book himself, and his color choices are really strong and striking.

Either way, this is comics by someone who "gets" comics just perfectly, and this absolutely deserves to be on your reserve list -- I've just placed a reorder at 100% of my initial, and will be hand-selling this with some large amount of joy. I thought this was a truly EXCELLENT debut.

PROPHET #25: This was the first issue where I was NOT enjoying what was happening until we got well past the halfway point and the "real" Prophet showed up. Then I totally fell back in love all at once. This is such a VERY GOOD comic, and I'm totally at awe of the world-building that gets built and tossed around each and every issue.

SUPERMAN #9: Basically, see what I said about AQUAMAN above -- I have no idea who or what the "modern" Superman is about, really, other than "it's Superman", but all of the changes to the supporting cast and mythos, so far, seem to be arbitrary to me, rather than organic. All of the stuff in this comic about how the media behaves? Beyond terrible. This is terribly EH material, and I doubt I'll read another issue until they change creative teams (again!) YOUNGBLOOD #71: Y'know what? I was digging on John McLaughlin's script here -- kind of the most AUTHORITY-like comic that we've seen in a while, but dear god, the art by Jon Malin and Rob Liefeld (Rob's inking?) is really wretched and uninspiring. I know a lot of people used to really really like Liefeld, but, honestly folks, most of those people stopped actually purchasing comics at least a decade back, leaving this a commercial trainwreck. Too bad, I really dug the script, but the final product is a muddled EH of a comic.

That's me... what did YOU think?

-B

"RAK TAC TAC TAC TAC." COMICS! Sometimes They Do It All Over Again!

So I went to the library and got this here book out. As is customary on my planet I read it and , as is inadvisable in my experience, I wrote this. Evasions, justifications, terrible writing, pointless digressions and probably unintended offence are probably in the offing. Why not join me as we look again at Marvel's first superhero team!

Reed Was beginning To Suspect His Friends Would Never Share His Pleasure In His Colonoscopy Results.

Readers ripe for a rucking will have noticed that once again I am discussing a Marvel book featuring characters created by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby, despite the fact that I said I wouldn't do so until they were credited on such works. That’s okay because what I find I really enjoy in my declining years is explaining myself to you. So I’m in the library (no, the Tories haven’t turned them all into Pay And Display Car Parks yet) and the first thing I do is head for the Kids section; not because I am a predatory sex criminal but because I am accompanied by my 6 year old son, okay? The second thing I do is spot BATMAN: THE KILLING JOKE in-between TERRY THE TOASTER WHO FLEW and DEAD DOGS IN HAPPYLAND.

"I'll send you a love letter straight from my heart, f*****."

So, the third thing I do is move B:TKJ to the Graphic Novel shelf because we don’t want an unfortunate court case involving Alan Moore, particularly as his Defence will have to call Dan Didio, and, as we have all seen this weekend, Dan Didio is the kind of man who writes Alan Moore the kind of ‘love letters’ called in evidence after the recipient has been dredged up from a canal with hearts carved into his face. While I am there single-handedly, with no thought of thanks or monetary recompense, averting another comics crisis my son strongly suggests I read FANTASTIC FOUR: SEASON ONE because he recognizes the characters from his aged and decrepit father’s bedside reading table. Yes, I find bringing a kid into the mix makes judgemental people back off real quick, I'm not proud of it but anyway...

FANTASTIC FOUR: SEASON ONE Artist David Marquez Writer Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa Colour Artist Guru E-FX Letterer VC’s Clayton Cowles Marvel, $24.99 (2011) The Fantastic Four created by Jack Kirby and Stan Lee

Not on this cover, "Created by Jack Kirby And Stan Lee" (See comments below which have prompted me to come back and insert this:) And by the above I do NOT mean that it SHOULD be on the cover I am just taking the rise out of the fact that the "Created By" credit appears nowhere in the book including the cover. I would just like "Created By Jack Kirby and Stan Lee" to appear IN the book and, yes, the CREDITS page would be just peachy. Apologies for any miscommunication. Nice to see people are thinking about the issue though!

I guess the origins of this book can be traced to Marvel wanting Original Graphic Novels so new readers can just pick them up and get the relevant skinny on the main MARVEL characters before running back to the LCS to buy all those Marvel comics no one is currently reading. It's a noble aim and one not entirely dissimilar to the origins of the original FANTASTIC FOUR (FF). According to published interviews with both creators neither Stan Lee nor Jack Kirby could agree on who came up with the FF, which is a real shocker right there. What is certain is that come up with the concept they did. It's pretty clear that the reason was the need for sales, a change of direction was required and DC/National seemed to be doing okay with those superfolks comics so maybe Marvel should follow suit toot suite? It was worth a pop.

Marvel's product pre-FF was getting pretty stale comprising as it did of  tales of such mind frying creations as “Taramasilata - The Mop That Frittered Its Youth Away like A Man!” (originally presented in Tales Of Shameful Evasion #630, Atlas Comics (1960)) These would usually involve a devastating rampage of destruction by said creature before a man who smoked a pipe stumbled on the fact that the creature was allergic to grass and then his girlfriend apologised on behalf of all womankind for being a nag. Sometimes a man who smoked grass would discover it was allergic to pipes, but he would be shot like the deadbeat he was by a cop and the world would die because it was weak. Steve Ditko usually drew those. Before anyone starts roasting my chestnuts over an open fire let me just point out that while the preceding is factually inaccurate I think it is accurate in spirit. These stories were formulaic and any fun was in the monster design and Kirby’s work seems sporting but hardly inspired. So formulaic in fact that these things could easily be believed to be self-replicating.

AMAZING ADVENTURES #6 (Nov,1961) by Jack Kirby & Stan Lee

In 1960/61 Kirby would be allowed to be as inspired as he liked when it looked like the doors of Atlas would close forever and Stan Lee importuned him for his aid in the creation of concepts which would revive interest in the company’s products.  Jack Kirby did not disappoint. Or Stan Lee would not disappoint when he came up with the concept of THE FANTASTIC FOUR and asked Jack Kirby to draw it.  Depends, really doesn't it? Anyway, FF #1 is clearly a transitional comic. It’s more monstercentric than superheroic. In fact the four themselves seem to have become monsters rather than heroes. The public react with fear and loathing at their appearance until the FF prove themselves by killing even bigger monsters than they are perceived to be. And those even bigger monsters look suspiciously like the very monsters the FF are intended to replace. Yes, it would be easy to get all post-modern about FF#1 here, but I'll spare you.

FANTASTIC FOUR #1 (Nov, 1961) by Jack Kirby & Stan Lee

Marvel's comics of this era are often applauded for having a greater sense of realism than the opposition's comics, and while this is because it wouldn't be that hard to do FF is actually quite daring in its characterisation. None of the four are particularly likable and after the crash they just get positively junk yard dog on each other. It is quite a stressful situation though, I’d probably react badly too.  The rawness of the emotions on display and the attendant unpleasant characterisations don't last long though. The four soon settle down in subsequent issues to become the reassuringly pleasant people we all spent so much money following in comics. The whole thing has an edgy, jarring quality and is all obviously a bit slapped together from the cover on in (Roy Thomas probably still wakes up sweating wondering where that rope binding Reed on the cover came from). But it worked enough for the seeds of greatness it contained to bloom fruit sweet enough to keep uncreative corporate employees drawing a salary for lo these many decades.

You'd think retelling this origin story (and also #4) some several decades on would result in a far superior experience but that isn't the case. There's nothing wrong with this book I guess, none of it is actively awful or offensive. But, again, none of it is inspired or amazing. It's innocuous, inoffensive stuff. It's there to be read but beyond that it doesn't inspire any strong feelings either way. Which is a bit of a problem when the whole purpose of the thing is to inspire you to buy more of these things, these comics. Aguirre Sacasa is a decent writer but here he appears hampered by the editorial dictates the book seems to embody. Now, I am not privy to the inner workings of Marvel editorial policy (I kept laughing so they threw me out) but I can reverse engineer the intentions behind this book, I think. Firstly it's called "SEASON ONE" which has obviously been borrowed from the world of TV without any thought. This book isn't a season, it's more of a pilot; the length tells you that. The contents also don't want you to have to think too hard, they are also all too happy to flatter the audience by referencing Proust but also to console them that there's no elitism here by chucking in J J Abrams and Zack Snyder as well.  As it is now 2012 the book goes out of its way to avoid some of the dumber elements of early FF (hence skipping #2 and #3) but can't avoid the core daftness of the concept. After all, it will probably never be possible to adequately explain why an intelligent man would crew his experimental space craft with his fiancé, her narcissistic brother and a school chum noted for his football skills. (Actually it is possible: it was a comic from 1961!) The characters get a TV update too, most notably Sue and Johnny. Overall the characters are blander than their initial appearance, but in an exciting reversal of gender stereotyping Sue Storm is actually presented as the most capable and effective member of the team. However, she is still a lady so she still has to spend a lot of time worrying about whether Reed will marry her or not. You can't fight genetics! Johnny, however, is just played as a straight-up man-slut so I guess Reed will have his extendable hands full finding cures for all the STDs fizzing inside his future brother-in-law.

Art-wise the whole thing is pretty tepid. There are some scenes of action which are less memorable than , um, that thing, er, I forgot and the talky scenes aren't electrifying either. Judging by the scant sketches in the back of the book Marquez is a talented artist but there's a difference between that and a talented comic book artist. Mostly Marquez struggles to be Steve McNiven but sometimes stumbles into the Liefeld-ian. There’s really nothing interesting about the storytelling, I'm afraid. It’s pretty basic, which means it works fine but doesn't play to the strengths of the medium. Which it should. You're trying to hook people on comics here, Marvel; so it might be an idea to show them what comics can do rather than attempt to replicate the readily available and cheaper experience of watching a TV show. Just a thought. On the whole, yes, it's just too TV for me. As the case of most TV while I am forced to recognise I am not the target demographic I also have to recognise that it is all competently done; I don't feel the need to seek out any more of it but neither do I feel inclined to harm things smaller than myself as a result of having experienced it. I guess that makes it OKAY!

FANTASTIC FOUR ANNUAL #1 (1963) by Jack Kirby & Stan Lee

The totally okay OGN portion is followed by a reprint of the first issue of Jonathan Hickman’s run on the regular FANTASTIC FOUR title. This particular issue is okay as well; packed with ideas and possibilities. But that’s usually the case with first issues of modern day runs called things like “stellar”, “landmark”,"pipe cladding” and “skirt raising” by people who are professional reviewers.  It is hilariously concerned that you get that it's about Fathers And Sons, really hilariously so. So much so in fact that it becomes the comic book equivalent of visiting a Fun Pub on a Saturday afternoon; watching all the workaholic Dads wondering what to do with the freedom sapping alien which shares their face as it sullenly sips on stale Fanta next to them. Oh, calm down, I’m just having some fun, I’m sure Jonathan Hickman’s “bum tickling” run on FANTASTIC FOUR is fine. What isn't fine is that Jonathan Hickman’s name is the only name that appears on this reprinted issue.  I’m not a Jonathan Hickman follower but I’m pretty sure that he doesn't write, pencil, ink, colour, letter and edit every issue of his “cat hazing” run on FANTASTIC FOUR.  Really, Marvel, you’re like a recalcitrant child and it's unbecoming in one so old. Sort it out, eh?

And then I was off to pick up some milk'n'bread before the shops shut. Those Sunday hours!

Hope you all had a good weekend with some COMICS!!!

Wait, What? Ep. 78: Quotes From Pandora Three-Sixteen

(This installment's accidental shout-out courtesy of Action Comics #7)

Normally, I try and pitch some rhetorical woo at you as a way to encourage or remind you to listen to this miniature stage play of the mind  Graeme (with his smooth, Noel Cowardesque line delivery) and I (with my stammering Method Actor incoherence) offer up each week.

However, as the soul-stealing monster known as Daylight Savings Time has arrived to demand the tribute of an hour from each of us trembling villagers, I fear I've got nothing especially fleet-footed with which to charm you, merely the verbal posturings of the maladroit and the overwrought.  The sundial? Tis broken.  The hourglass? Now hollow.

But if you wish to remember me fondly, then give Wait, What? Ep. 78 a chance:  it has Graeme and I discussing what Savage Critic rating we would give The Bible; spinoff books that can never seem to escape their progenitors; drug use and Dr. Who abuse; Action Comics, The Legion of Superheroes, Birds of Prey, and spinoff books that can never escape their progenitors; Fairest; the first issues of Saucer Country, Hell Yeah, Manhattan Projects (with spoilers for the first issue), and Superbia, Fatale #3; Fantastic Four: Season One; the amazing King City trade paperback from Brandon Graham; Detective Comics; G.I. Joe: Cobra; Wolverine #302; the DC Nation block on Cartoon Network, and much, much more.

iTunes is a wish that your heart makes (when your heart wishes for a cumbersome and inept media management program that gets totally fuxxored if you download the same update more than once, anyway) and so our latest episode should be discoverable there, but you are also invited to lasso that ethereal doggy right here, below:

Wait, What? Ep. 78.1: Quotes from Pandora Three-Sixteen

As always, we appreciate your patronage and hope you enjoy our latest offering!

How can ya' miss me when you've forgotten who I am?

Ah yes, reviews, I remember those! Been a while, but I think I'm finally back on the weekly-review-train now! ACTION COMICS #7: I know the book's been a little uneven, but the issues that are good are so good that it makes my teeth hurt. I thought this was one of those issues. I'd rather read Morrison doing Superman than almost any other superhero comic by almost any other creator. I'm a little amused, however, that Brainiac is, y'know, the internet. VERY GOOD.

AGE OF APOCALYPSE #1: I have little-to-no natural affection for any of these characters (I sort of think the IDEA of the original AoA was more interesting then the actual execution), but I thought this was non-heinous, with some pretty nice art from Roberto De La Torre. What I don't see is how this is an ongoing series, because I can't imagine that (even with the X-Force lead in), there's more than, say, 10k people (by issue 4 or 5) who will want to read about alternate universe version of the X-Men? it's strange to me -- this is the kind of book that Marvel used to make fun of DC about (alternate versions of the same characters), but that Marvel is doing in multiple ways now (Ultimates, Zombies, this) -- this is the kind of thing that led to CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTHS, y'know? Anyway, this comic is perfectly OK for the kind of thing it is

AVENGERS ACADEMY #27: This, on the other hand, I thought was terrific -- funny, and real conflict and stakes, and just really being the "legacy" comic in a way that DC has entirely walked away from now with the 52. The "voice" of some of the Runaways is a little off, but over all, I thought this was a fun little romp of a comic, and was VERY GOOD.

AVENGERS CHILDRENS CRUSADE #9: If this had come out over the course of 9 months, I think we'd all be talking about what a great comic it was; but, of course, it has been TWENTY months, and the Marvel universe this story began in is kinda different than the one today. Characters live, characters die, and "Young Avengers" is largely thrown away as a concept by the end of this -- which is too bad, because I liked that first incarnation a whole lot. I'm glad Hulkling and Wiccan get their kiss at the end, though. Overall, I'll go with GOOD here, I think.

DEFENDERS #4: I pretty much flat out hated the first three issues -- I'd probably not have disliked it had it been, like, "Magic Man" and "Kung Fu Guy" instead of "Doctor Strange" and "Iron Fist", if you see what I mean? I just don't think that the characterization Fraction tried to graft on here really bore any relationship to past characterizations -- but this issue I kinda liked just fine. The problem is, at $4 a throw, the audience has now made up their minds about whether they like the book or not, and you have to hit the ball right in the first issue... you can't wait until #4. Either way, I can give it a low GOOD, but it's probably too late -- we sold 32 copies of #1, and just a meager 13 of #3.

FAIREST #1: I thought the premise of this FABLES spin-off was "it focuses on the female Fables"? *looks at the cover* Yeah, that's how they're selling it. So... why no female Fables as anything other than furniture here? This is the comics equivalent of the Senate hearing on Contraception, isn't it? Also, I have to say that I think the choice of the flat matte paper was a poor one with fully digital painted art -- it looks muddy and bland, and, frankly, ugly to my eye. Shockingly EH.

GREEN ARROW #7: Ann Nocenti's first issue... and it's just kind of weird, sort of like her later DD run. I mean, I liked it, don't get me wrong, and it's a big step up from the first six issues of this version, but triplet mutant killer seductresses? Mm, dunno. Also: what on the earth could they possible have "twelve of these" be referring to? Did they each lose eight toes, somehow?

Oh, and here's where I'll slot in the rant against the new DC logo. Here's how you know it is an utter and abject failure as a static object: they have to print the words "DC Comics" underneath it so that anyone could POSSIBLY tell that that is what it means. *sigh*

Anyway, Green Arrow #7: A strong OK.

MANHATTAN PROJECTS #1: I thought this was utterly spiffy, with a wonderful Jonathan Hickman high concept (if I tell you it, I'll thoroughly spoil the comic), and some really terrific art from Nick Pitarra. Man, it's kinda like a younger Frank Quitely. Image is on a helluva roll these days, isn't it? VERY GOOD.

NIGHT FORCE #1: Well, it was fairly pretty, but I really had no idea why I should care, or whom I should root for. Much like the original series, when i think about it. EH.

STORMWATCH #7: Paul Jenkins comes in as new writer, and it's a little better, though I'm still not finding the compelling reason for these characters to be together. At least when it was THE AUTHORITY, you got the who "We're smarter than you" Warren Ellisy vibe going for it. Very strongly OK, but not any better than that.

SUPURBIA #1: Ah, if only this hadn't been so strictly mapped to existing archetypes, I might have been more attracted to it, but I don't really need YET ANOTHER pastiche of Superman and Batman and Wonder Woman, I don't think. "The Real Housewives of Superville" is a fun enough pitch, and the execution was at least competent, but this largely feels recycled and warmed over. OK.

SWAMP THING #7: SEVEN ISSUES for the protagonist to actually appear in his own comic, terrific. And yet, I still like it adequately. I really do rather hope that out protagonist and antagonist both manage to defy their expectations -- but I also think that this "rot" plotline just can't go on indefinitely, and may already be outstaying it's welcome. One problem: the big Green Guy is too wicked powerful -- look at the way he routed all of those minions in a single double page spread. I'll just barely give it a low GOOD.

ULTIMATE COMICS SPIDER-MAN #8: I'm kind of creeped out that the guy on the cover looks very little like the guy actually in the comic book. There's also something boringly predictable about the Aunt May and Uncle Prowler scenes -- now all we need is for Nick Fury to step back in where he left off. When you add that to how Miles' voice is virtually identical to Peter's... well, I'm kind of not feeling this book, sorry. (especially for $4, jebus!) EH.

Right, that's me... what did YOU think?

-B

Hibbs and the Single 11/30 (part one)

Haven't finished reading everything yet for the week, so this is just part one... but I'll be pretty close to Old School Savage Critting, here...

ANGEL & FAITH #4: I'm kind of loving this book. I suspect that's because both the premise, as well as the motivation of the protagonists is significantly more focused than over in BUFFY SEASON 9. The art's fab, too. I honestly think this is VERY GOOD stuff. BATMAN ODYSSEY VOL 2 #2: What. The. Fuck? I didn't read #1 (and stopped reading v1 at #4, I think?), but whoa this has taken a serious turn towards the inexplicable with Caveman Batman and Robin, and dinosaur riding and man oh man Neal Adam's style is kind of inherently "serious", y'know, and completely works against what I think is meant to be a Silver Age Pastiche. Or tribute, maybe? Hard to actually tell. His Batman is zooming all around here, at one point really even sounding like a teenage girl (with an "I hate this. I hate this. I hate this." as he starts to ride a giant flying bat, followed by a big ol' "I love this!", yowsers!) I m just utterly baffled at what Adams is going for, and it is ultimately stiff and awkward and weird. So much "Work For Completionists Only", and kind of crazily AWFUL, sorry. DAREDEVIL #6: The idea of a villain with sponsorship patches, like an anti-Booster Gold, is sort of amusing, but that was a bloodier end to the fight than maybe was needed. The McGuffin of the patch was likewise interesting, but I guess I just don't see what the stakes are for DD. The art as is nice as always, but I just couldn't wrap my head around how this was a Daredevil story, and not a Spidey story. still, even with that, it's still a low GOOD. FF #12: I didn't say last week, but I thought FANTASTIC FOUR #600 was pretty terrific, but no I didn't like this. Maybe it's because in a FF book, I want to see one of a quartet of individuals specifically driving the action; or maybe it's because Bobillo's art (dunno for certain if it's a change in base-style, or the inker's work) went from sweet cartoony (like in his run of SHE HULK, man, those are great) to like harder edge euro-styled art. Like, dunno, Alex Nino, and that whole school of Philippine artists that was most prolific at Warren in the 70s? Either way, not a change I liked personally. So, yeah, while I can appreciate the intricacy of FF, this left me feeling pretty distant, so best I can must is a weak OK.

FLASH GORDON ZEITGEIST #1: Back to the top start again on this venerable property, and it is done with adequate style -- more enjoyable than the BUCK ROGERS reboot from last year, say. I'm just kind of loath to recommend any Dynamite book to people because I know if it show the slightest chance of catching on, Nickie will commission three different spin-off series, and we'll lose all of our readers for it, and have to stop ordering it. But, anyway, that's too meta! There was also an interesting choice at the end to have the rebel aliens come to Earth before ever encountering Flash, which would seem to me to be extremely likely to dramatically shear the central appeal of Flash which would be "Rugged American Individual goes to weird (and primitive, except for the spaceships) alien planets, shows them how incredible fucking awesome Rugged American Individuals are". Tell me you can't picture TEAM AMERICA's "America: Fuck Yeah!" playing behind any filmed Flash Gordon to date, right? Well, we'll see how that thread plays out, but I'm not optimistic on that. The rest of it I quite liked, though -- and that is a pretty awesome Ming, so, sure, I'll say this comic is a strong OK.

GAME OF THRONES #3: A lot of good choices in this adaptation, but the art's a little cutsie to work, I think. EH.

HAUNT #19: New Direction! Jump On Now! I thought the Kirkman/Capullo run was just too much trying to evoke a Spawny/Venomy kind of 90s feeling, but Joe Casey and Nathan Fox really change it up well here. I'm going to put the bulk of that on Fox, I think, as this looks pretty much the opposite of a Capullo comic. Solidly GOOD, though I can't say I would rush to buy another issue, necessarily.

STAR TREK ONGOING #3: Loving this, as well. Really, it's kind of a brilliant idea to adapt the old episodes with the new cast, they've got 150+ issues of material on tap, without having to generate a new story idea, yet they seem fresh because of the new dynamics among the characters. Solidly GOOD.

THUNDER AGENTS VOL 2 #1: A much better first issue than the last one -- action, AND plot movement, AND mysteries for the future AND soap opera is really the format that each issue of a super hero comic should deliver, and the first run had issues with only half or less of those in any average issue. Still, dang, in any incarnation of these characters, I'd have to say I think the appeal tended to be the artists drawing them (from Wood to Kane to Perez), and this is a writer-driven run, I think, from Nick Spencer. That's not to say that CAFU isn't fine (he [?] is), but not really in that same kind of weight class as many of the others. Ultimately, I kind of don't care about these guys outside of that art nostalgia, so you'd have to be exceptionally exceptional for me to say anything better than an OK on this. And while this is competently done, that's about it. If you have a jones for these guys, you'll probably rate this much higher than I.

THUNDERBOLTS #166: I'm going to kind of recycle the last few lines of the previous review for this -- this is competently done, but I have nothing emotionally invested in these characters, and this issue doesn't do anything to change that, so, sure, it is therefore kind of EH.

ULTIMATE COMICS ULTIMATES #4: First issue of the 4 that I liked on its own merits. I think this miscalculated on scale -- millions more dead, and this after the earlier devastation of New York... these things would dramatically change a world and how it operates, and it's exhausting as a reader to boot.  THIS issue seemed a lot more personally driven, and so worked for me much better. It's a low GOOD.

UNCANNY X-MEN #2: That's all weird, and not really very X-Men-y (though, yes yes, I get "new premise" and all; whatever, I stand by that assessment), and it doesn't suck, but it sure ain't for me. OK

WOLVERINE #19: I like Funny Jason Aaron, I think, better than All Serious one. Very enjoyable, low GOOD

X-MEN LEGACY #259: I feel like I can see the sets, and someone left the script pages in the shot, and no no no no, you're supposed to emote, dear! and it's just little stick figures being moved around, and it's no different than the rest of Carey's run, mostly, and I think its unfortunately pretty AWFUL. I almost upgraded that just so we wouldn't end this session on a down note, but ugh, can't do it.

Right, more tomorrow (I think!), what did YOU think?

-B

Honestly, I have no idea for a title -- Hibbs on 7/3

BOYS #57: I really have nothing to say about this issue (other than "I've become generally bored with this title, and the only thing that keeps me reading is Hughie and Annie's relationship"), but how.... bizarrely  ironic, maybe, that this cover came out the same week as ULTIMATE FALLOUT #4? Still, an EH comic. FLASHPOINT #4: Again, not a ton to say -- this is competently executed, but it really isn't buttering my bread, if you know what I mean? --  but on the meta-level, there's something, again, ironic about the notion that the universe is about to have its reality rewritten by the only true Saint of the Silver Age, who effectively has a form of Alzheimers?  Also? I found something kind of genuinely creepy about the editorial at the back of this week's DC books explaining "why" people should buy DC comics in August. *shudder*. A perfectly OK single issue.

FLASHPOINT BATMAN KNIGHT OF VENGEANCE #3: This, on the other hand, was 32 flavors of fucked up and wrong, and darkity-dark-dark, and I kind of really really liked it. It's funny, you could really say this is at least as dark and wrong as, say LEGION OF DOOM, but that nebulous ol' "craft" makes a difference, doesn't it? I thought this was VERY GOOD.

INFINITE #1: I think a story so dependent on Time Travel requires an artist of a certain subtlety to capture the difference between a "young version" and an "old version" of a character. Rob Liefeld is not that artist. Did I mention that HAWK & DOVE is the only one of the DC 52 that I have no series-based subs on, whatsoever? I thought the set-up of the comic is clever enough, and there's a sold premise here, but for me, Liefeld's art is a game-breaker. EH.

MYSTIC #1: I have no particular affection for or nostalgia about the CrossGen books, so I was very pleasantly surprised at how much I enjoyed this debut issue -- the art suffers a bit from "everyone has an open mouth expression all the time", maybe -- but I thought the writing was crisp, and the premise somewhat interesting (though there's something about the stratified society, and just how these girls are really able to know as much as they do, that didn't add up to me), and I certainly would like to read more. Solidly GOOD.

PUNISHER #1: I don't know. There are so many wonderful things being done on the "Max" side of Punisher, that a book starring the character square in the Marvel U needs something incredibly outstanding to interest me. I love Greg Rucka's writing normally, and this seems like it might be more "p0lice procedural" than anything else, but after putting it down, I found that nothing stuck with me here at all. I'd rather have another issue of Jason Aaron's run, I guess. EH.

RACHEL RISING #1: You got to admire Terry Moore for launching ANOTHER new series less than two months after his last one (ECHO) ended -- not just that, but to be doing it in a completely different genre (Horror) this time through. Though, from the first page it looks like it is taking place in the SiP universe anyway. I thought this was a GOOD first issue, largely marred by the last page, where I kept thinking that two pages must have stuck together or something, because that last beat wasn't a "come back for more next time!" one.

ULTIMATE COMICS FALLOUT #4: This has been such an uneven, purposeless series, with nothing in this issue having much of anything to do with the first three issues at all. The Spidey segment was fine, but nothing that would lead me back to the ongoing, in and of itself. My largest problem is that this spidey doesn't seem sufficiently different (insecure, nervous wise-cracking) from Peter Parker, though let's be fair, there's not a ton one can do in 8 pages. Well, no, that's a lie, there IS a ton you can do in 8 pages, but that's not within Bendis' skill set, that I can see. Oh, speaking of Bendis! Man, I get the shuddering creeps everytime I see that photo of him in the Architects double-spread -- he looks like a drag queen whose wig has fallen off! Anyway, yeah, this reader will RAPIDLY need to see something that differentiates this Spidey from Peter Parker.

The Reed Richards story was somewhat amusing from the POV of having an anti-Future Foundation from the writer of FF, but it took me a few pages to realize that this was Reed, as he really looks very little like even Ultimate Reed.

I thought the last story was adequate, but I'm really starting to think that Nick Spencer might be completely over-rated. The art was nice, though.

Overall, an OK issue, I guess.

That's my thoughts, what did YOU think?

-B