Wait, What? Ep. 143: The Score

 photo alan-moore-message-to-extraterrestrials-mystic-fnord-coolest-shit-ever_500x375.jpgSimpsons Alan Moore: Knows it; wishes to settle it.

Happy New Year, fellow Whatnauts! Graeme and I are back with another installment of the external manifestation of the constant internal chatter constantly haunting your brain.  After the jump: the link and some hasty show notes written by a dude with a cold trying to get this wrapped so he can take a nap!

So, first and foremost:  you do remember we've shifted to a fortnightly/biweekly recording schedule, yes?  You're not going to miss us that much, I know, what with the hundreds of hours of entertainment pouring at you like candy-colored magma, but we do appreciate you continuing to tune in, and hope our latest round of agreeable disagreements will provide your day with a bit of pleasure...

00:00-16-49: Greetings? Our first podcast of the new year and on the plus side, we’re on it within the first ninety seconds, talking about that lengthy Alan Moore interview (that as of recording time, Graeme had read in its entirety, but Jeff, alas, had not).  Unfortunately, for the first ninety seconds, there are subjects we are not nearly as “on it” (such as talking and saying the proper year out loud, etc.)  But make sure you listen to Jeff and Graeme have a very polite dispute on Alan Moore/Grant Morrison’s far less polite dispute. 16:49-34:22: As much as we probably could’ve lingered on Moore’s interview forever (had Jeff read it, anyway), we had other fish to fry: we were recording on the day of the Image Expo.  We go over the announcements and our impressions. (Sadly, they’re not, like, actual impressions.  We don’t alternate trying to talk like Robert Kirkman or whatever, but I think you know what we mean.) 34:22-1:06:02: A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away...  Marvel got the Star Wars license! (yes, we have some old ground to catch up on.)  Jeff frets about his digital collection and talks about why (in the face of mounting evidence that he should not).  Also discussed:  whether or not we’re excited about Marvel having the rights, age differences and Return of the Jedi, the book market, and more. [Note:  the Marvel exec whose name Jeff couldn’t remember -- and whom Graeme couldn’t remember at all --  is Ruwan Jayatilleke and some of the stuff Jeff is talking about comes from here. 1:06:02-1:30:43:  Discussion of the rumors that the Amazons are Kryptonian descendants in the Man of Steel sequel!  Jeff wanted to talk about this rumor (originally mentioned and clarified here).  Naturally, we talk a bit about The Man of Steel (since Jeff finally saw it), Star Trek Into Darkness, plans, theories, ideas, and stuff.  Because I grew up in the '70s, I re-read the last part of that previous sentence and realized how much I sound like my fifth grade teacher. 1:18:23-1:30:43: “Hulk Hates Puny Relaunches!”  With its third reboot in as many years, is The Hulk a title that just can’t work?  Or is this barely any different than Marvel’s relaunch of Daredevil? There’s a brief lull in the conversation for 2014’s first mini-Techpocalypse but it's actually surprisingly small.  Would that it were our only one. 1:30:43-1:45:27:  Other topics, covered a bit more quickly:  the leaked cover of Amazing Spider-Man!  Original Sin, the upcoming Marvel crossover event!  Shia LaBeouf!  This should've led to a more in-depth conversation about comics we’ve read recently, including the Astonishing Spider-Man & Wolverine miniseries by Jason Aaron and Adam Kubert; and Detective Comics #27 by a mess of people including Brad Meltzer, Bryan Hitch, Francesco Francavilla, Gregg Hurwitz, Neal Adams, Peter J. Tomasi, Ian Bertram, John Layman, Jason Fabok, Scott Snyder, Sean Murphy, and others.  But then we get derailed by another tech problem so instead we change gears and talk about… 1:45:27-1:54:28: Misfits!  That cheeky bastard of a show recently wrapped up and Jeff finally caught up on it, and we discuss the finale.  (Despite a lot of complaints on Jeff’s part, the show is worth digging up over on Hulu and having a watch, if you can put aside any preference on your part for internal logic of any kind whatsoever.) 1:54:28-end: Closing comments! Apologies! Reminders we have moved to that fortnightly schedule, so we will be back in two weeks! Closing show music!

Well, that wrapped things up, didn't it?  Okay then, we'll see you -- oh, what's that?  The actual podcast?  Oh yeah, well, that's available by now probably on iTunes, and our RSS feed (and I was supposed to look into that other RSS service Al from House to Astonish wanted us to consider but I haven't done that yet) and, in fact, directly below:

Wait, What? Ep. 143: The Score

As always, we hope you and enjoy and thank you for listening!  And now, if you'll excuse us, it is naptime in the hopes of a speedy recovery.

Wait, What? Ep. 127: Capers

 photo 0512e0c4-0822-401d-9f23-de2ebe8ea461_zps36415092.jpgWelcome to my nightmare, ladies and gentlemen.  My terrifying longbox filled nightmare.

After the jump: very quick shownotes because I am running behind, and I have a tummy ache! (And I am apparently eight!)

(Oh, and check out those John K(UK) posts below, would you?  They're very good -- I'm not even a father but I felt a special paternal glow from having all those 2001 covers and splash pages reprinted.  The perfect gift!

So, yes.  I may punk out shownotes-wise, but the podcast itself does not--Two hours! No intermission!  As many exclamation points as a Steve Englehart comic!

0:00-11:48: Opening comments; the longbox project; steampunk; the search for comic book cockery. 11:48-28:23: Kick-Ass 2 Prelude: Hit-Girl.  One of us read it.  Who? And, more importantly: Why? 28:23-45:58: Also discussed:  Superman: The Secrets of the Fortress of Solitude trade paperback, with a discussion of Superman and his fortress through the years; Superman painting; Superman's friendships; Superman's robot; Superman's thong; and more. 45:58-51:48: Graeme has read Action Comics #21, and Superman #20, and has things to say about both. 51:48-1:04:48: And we both picked up Superman Unchained #1 by Scott Snyder and Jim Lee, so there's some talk about that, too. 1:04:48-1:11:28: Pleased with his experience reading 2000AD digitally, Jeff has subscribed to Judge Dredd Megazine digitally.  Sadly, there's a whole weird intermission where Jeff goes off to find out what the digital graphic novel packed in with the Megazine is…and fails.  Enjoy, everybody!  (Turns out it was Downlode Tales Vol. 3 for 335 Black Light Vol. 1 for 336). 1:11:28-1:32:48: Batman: Zero Year (or Batman #21 as it's known in the colonies) by Scott Snyder and Greg Capullo--also read by both Graeme and Jeff! We squabble, we tussle, we disagree about The Riddler. Sadly, Jeff brings up a potentially great topic--our five favorite Batman villains--and derails it just seconds later due to his befuddlement about Forever Evil.  Oh, Jeff. 1:32:48-end: Graeme has reread Brightest Day (because apparently this is our DC books from the library week).  We talk about whether or not the New 52 helped or hindered Johns' Aquaman pitch, whether the New 52 is stabilizing or destabilizing, and other delightful topics.  Also discussed:  Suicide Squad #21 by Ales Kot and Patrick Zircher; Supermag by Jim Rugg; Empowered Animal Style by Adam Warren and John Staton; Relish by Lucy Knisley; Jennifer Blood #28 by Mike Carroll & Kewber Baal ; Star Wars #6 by Brian Wood and Carlos D'Anda; the saddest afterword in the world; and more.  And then it is done!

Choosy mothers who choose Jif know that four out of five dentists listen to Wait, What? on iTunes, but the podcast is certainly available for you right here and  right now right below:

Wait, What? Ep. 127: Capers

As always, we hope you enjoy, and thank you for listening!

Wait, What? Ep. 120: Beat Up

 photo f8dabd57-4b13-4eff-b84a-507a8760a3bd_zpsb112cfea.jpgStunner stuff from D'Israeli in Stickleback, currently appearing in 2000 A.D.

Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends! (If I was Stan Lee, I'd offer a No-Prize to those of you who really get that reference...but thank goodness there is only one Stan and I'm not him.)

Join me after the jump for show notes for Wait, What? Ep. 120, won't you?  (Yes, there is one this week.  I assure you, I'm not pulling an April Fool's Joke on you a week late...OR AM I????

Nope, I'm not.

By the way, we offer on-air apologies but let me apologize here for not giving you all an on-site update about last week's unexpected skip week.   In the future, I'll try to throw something together to let website-oriented Whatnauts aware that we won't be around.  At the end of this 'cast, however, we mention our skip weeks for the next six weeks or so, so feel free to get out your calendar if it will ease your anxiety.

What was I...?  Oh, right.  Show notes!

0:00-16:44:  Well, nothing says upbeat like talking about dead people!  Graeme and Jeff briefly contemplate the passing of Roger Ebert and -- in a bit more detail -- the passing of Carmine Infantino.  Also included in the discussion (but still alive as far as we know): Terry Austin; Bill Sienkiewicz; John Peele; advocacy v. shrill pedanticism; our own critical failings; etc. 16:44-37:01:  And as we skate merrily onto thinner ice:  Age of Ultron; the Guardians of the Galaxy Infinite Comics; and a new thesis (All-New Avenging Thesis!) from Jeff about the work of Brian Michael Bendis.  And more discussion about the concept of naive cynicism.  It could well be very frustrating for those who have to participate in this conversation via comment threads (or brought it up in the hopes we would stop talking about this kind of thing) but there are some surprising turns in here, I think. 37:01-50:10:  The first of three things Graeme really wants to talk about this week: (1) Zombo by Al Ewing and Henry Flint (currently appearing in 2000 A.D.), which also includes praise for Stickleback by Ian Edginton and the amazing art by D'Israeli, and Dandridge by Alec Worley and Warren Pleece. 50:10-54:41:  By contrast, Jeff thought he would love Agent Gates, the super powered quasi-steampunk graphic novel parody of Downton Abbey by Camaren Subhiyah and Kyle Hilton. 54:41-1:14:14: The second of three things Graeme wants to talk about:  (2) Stormwatch #19 by Jim Starlin.  Graeme is perhaps not so pleased.  We also end up talking a bit about The Inhumans over at Marvel and openly pray for the return of HEX (which probably isn't usually referred to in all-caps like that but it gives you an idea of our fervor.) 1:14:14-1:14:49:  Intermission One!  (And what is probably my current favorite of Graeme's stinger tunes for us.) 1:14:49-1:24:04: Graeme has been on NPR! Jeff has left a glass of water in the next room! And Graeme's third thing he really wants to talk about this week:  (3) Marta Acosta's She-Hulk Diaries. 1:24:04-1:37:52:  But Jeff, all he wants to do is talk about Giant-Man.  Giant-Man, Giant-Man, Giant-Man! 1:37:52-1:46:53: And Graeme reminds Jeff that Avengers A.I. which is coming soon. And then we spoil Age of Ultron #3.  (You're welcome.)  Also included in the conversation (and filed under "Stuff Jeff doesn't know until Graeme tells him"): Marvel's next event and the death of Formspring.  (I actually had just a comma there originally since I thought there might be more to the list, and was tempted to leave it just so it would look like the title of Marvel's next event was "The Death of Formspring.") 1:46:53-1:56:41:  "Jeff, tell me about a comic you liked!"  Jeff's answer?  Season Five of Mad Men.  Includes the phrase, "the Thor vs. Hulk of my heart."  Bonus topic:  What do we read comics for?  (And for extra credit, guess which one of us really hates that question.) 1:56:41-2:14:07:  Graeme read DC Showcase Presents: The Flash, Vol. 4, so we get to talk more about Carmine Infantino, as well as Ross Andru and Mike Esposito, our favorite things about Infantino's art, whether Neal Adams destroyed comic book art, Dave Cockrum, and more. [Note: Jeff mistakenly says Dan Day at least once here when he means Gene Day. Oy.] 2:14:07-end:  Closing comments! Apologies, promises, blood oaths, and so the cycle is complete.  And lo, the cycle shall start again!

It's possible (yes, really.  Highly possible, even) that this podcast is already on iTunes.  But, as always, we make it available here for your delectation.  Are you not delectated?

Wait, What? Ep. 120: Beat Up

Oh, and don't forget to check out Abhay's thoughts about Scarlet #6, or John K (UK)'s thoughts on Robert Aickman, or any of the other material by people who don't have to read the coattails of a talented and charismatic Scotsman.   And, as always, we thank you for listening and hope you enjoy!

Wait, What? Ep. 115: Less Than Greek

Photobucket"It's funny! It says 'I choo-choo-choose you' and then there's a picture of Aquaman."

Well, on the plus side? It is a Monday and we have a new Wait, What? for you--almost an entire day early!

On the minus side, we won't be recording this week due to Valentine's Day, so there won't be a recording next week, I am totally behind the eight ball on my other projects, and I couldn't get Graeme to draw a Don-Wan Kihotay for us.

After the jump, this week's episode and some super-speedy show notes!

0:00-3:18:  Odd greeting! Neurotic confession! Bizarre Love Triangle! Can you tell which one of these is a description of our opening, and which one is a New Order single? 3:18-12:34:  Strange Press Release!  (Another unsung New Order single.)  Graeme and Jeff  discuss the recent press release announcing the Rogue and She-Hulk novels for female readers. 12:34-20:17: From arguing about mythologies in tie-in products, we move on discussing whether Disney is getting too crazy with their Star Wars movie plans or not. 20:17-31:37: Jeff isn't sure how to he made the jump between Star Wars films and the twin legacies of Sylvester Stallone and Walter Hill. (The term "twin legacy" is used, and Luke and Leia are twins with a legacy?)  Nonetheless, if you were hoping to have a healthy dose of "Hey, you kids, stop misunderstanding the historical legacy of my lawn!"  YOU ARE IN LUCK.  (Please note: when Jeff says "Lawrence Silver" in his triade, he really means "Joel Silver." 31:37-1:07:48:  And from a topic of nostalgia and misunderstood legacies, Jeff tries to look at Marvel's Jack Kirby Captain America Omnibus and the hardcover collection of Neal Adams' Batman Odyssey. 1:07:48-1:08:24: Intermission the First! 1:08:24-1:12:54: And we're back.  Most of you probably know about my beard, but not many of us know about Graeme's secret sideburns…or about his even more secret interview with SKY NEWS. 1:12:54-1:22:28: The battle for New Comics begins!  Graeme has read Young Romance: New52 Valentine's Day Special and the first Jeff Lemire-scripted issue of Green Arrow.  Graeme didn't like them much. Jeff saw the preview trailer for Injustice: Gods Among Us. Arguably, he liked that even less.  And then came…the dreaded tech problems.  We liked those least of all. 1:22:28-1:22:52: Intermission the Second! 1:22:52-1:36:05:  We are back, to continue with a bit of grousing about DC.  Graeme has read the huge DC: 75th Anniversary book by Paul Levitz, leading to a conversation about what made DC great in the past.  We are excited about the new digital Superman book, maybe not so much (or at all) about Orson Scott Card, but we are very excited about Jeff Parker, Chris Samnee, and others.  Graeme has also got a sneak peek at Superman: The Unauthorized Biography by Glen Weldon. 1:36:05-1:45:22:  Jeff talks a little about the fourth issue of Multiple Warheads, in a "I would really rather talk about it when we've both read it, but Graeme keeps asking me questions" sort of way.  Also, Jeff doesn't wants anyone to think he's super-high but he decides to compare Multiple Warheads to Zero Dark Thirty for some reason?  Graeme gives the low-down on the Netflix remake of House of Cards. 1:45:22-2:11:25: Questions! We do manage to answer some questions (honestly, we were supposed to answer more and once again we got distracted).  Here we are speeding questions from four Whatnauts: Jesse M. on December 6th, 2012 at 7:08 pm asked: No way you’ll have time to answer all of these, choose one!  1) What’s the single issue of a comic that you love best?  2) I’ve been loving Journey Into Mystery From Gillen and Immonen. Once Immonen’s Sif run is finished, what team should tackle the Warriors Three? 3) Are there any current comics that would benefit from a JiM/BPRD style spinoff? Ben Lipman on December 6th, 2012 at 7:22 pm asked:  Should Marvel bother with covers?  They print them on the same stock as the pages, the books are ordered months in advance and sell to an audience that actively seeks them out. Why not save the price of more pages/art and just have the title sit above the first page?  Is FATALE becoming an ongoing series a good thing?  I enjoy it though it’s not their best, but was looking forward to Bru and Phillips moving on to something else.  What was the best and what was the worst comic you read for each decade you have read comics? Zomboner on December 6th, 2012 at 8:03 pm said:  What happens to Ross’ moustache when he turns into the red-hulk? mateor on December 6th, 2012 at 9:28 pm said:  How about…  A) Has anyone, ever, done more for a comic than Eddie Campbell did for From Hell?  B) Could we expect a modern reader to get anything out of the big 2 comics “masterpieces” of our youth? I am thinking of in continuity stuff here, something like Simonson’s Thor here, a book that pretty much ruled my world growing up, yet something I will ever be able to properly explain to my son, even if he had the issues in front of him. I don’t have the same doubts about Romita’s Amazing or other earlier runs, there is just something about those eighties books that seem stuck in time.  C) If you gave 100 people on the subway issues of Bill Sienkeiwicz’s New Mutants (with the lovely painted covers removed) how many would tell you it was the worst looking comic they have ever seen? and D) What would happen if Robert Kirkman decided to spend his next month’s income and buy the publishing arm of Marvel? Not the IP, just the right to publish Marvel comics the way he wanted…which characters would die each month and by which blunt instrument? How sad would the Punisher be while he used his slowly diminishing appendages to get the rest of the Marvel U killed, one 100 issue spectacular at a time?  Who would he think was calling him while he cried into a disconnected telephone and would he still have the beard? Would Aunt May be the big bad? 2:11:25-end:  Closing comments! Many apologies! Graeme tells you something that would make him laugh! Nothing but exclamation points! Or…are there?

And...there you have it...if by "it," you mean "the show notes."  If by "it," you mean "the show," then in fact, you do not have it...unless you look below, and then you will indeed have that, too:

Wait, What? Ep. 115: Less Than Greek

We hope you enjoy, thanks for listening, and we hope you have a grand Valentine's Day.

Wait, What? Ep. 112: A New Dope

PhotobucketWasn't able to find Ditko inking Kirby, but here's Dan Clowes inking Ditko! Ganked from Robot 6 and elsewhere...

Okay, and so but here is our latest episode about which I will provide you with more detail after the jump!

Sorry for the rush, crew:  running a little late (when aren't I?) and haven't quite figured out a way to do the show notes for the Q&A that didn't involve a ton of formatting inside the WordPress entry which is a bit of a headache so pardon me if I just start in, yes?

0:00-3:56: Greetings are exchanged!  Apologies are made!

3:56-13:56: Superior Spider-Man #1!…is a thing we are talking about.  Comic talk so early?  It can happen! Dreams can come true, it can happen to you, if you're young at heart.  Something I didn't think we would complain about?  Superhero fight scenes.  And there may or may not be subliminal messages via distant dog barking, I'm not really allowed to see.

13:56-20:21: Also, through the largesse of a Whatnaut, Jeff was able to read New Avengers #1 by Jonathan Hickman & Steve Epting.

20:21-23:31: All-New X-Men #5!  One of us liked it; one of us didn't.  To say more would give away….The Prestige! (I don't really know what that means, but it was remarkably enjoyable to type.)

23:31-46:39: Answering questions? Will we ever? Maaaaaaaybe, but we decide to talk about other books we read this week: Graeme has read Action Comics #16, as well as the entire run of Batman, Inc.--which Graeme has some really interesting ideas about; Buffy The Vampire Slayer #17; Earth Two #8; Fantastic Four #3 ;and  Iron Man #5.

46:39-47:14: Our sole intermission?  In fact…yes!

47:14-55:32:  On our return, we discuss Star Wars #1 by Brian Wood and Carlos D'Anda.  And, since that series is set immediately after A New Hope, we talk about that movie and what we've liked about that film and where it went afterward.

55:32-1:05:34: As for Jeff, most of what he's read has been digital: Thor #4; six weeks of Shonen Jump Alpha, The Phoenix Comic, and 2000 AD (with enthusiastic run-downs of his favorites in each).

1:05:34-1:10:22:  Then Jeff has a story about being retweeted he thinks is funny. Yes, people: this is why Jeff is terrible. He actually thinks you can tell a funny story…about being retweeted. Far funnier is how quickly and completely Graeme trumps the story.

1:10:22-1:10:30:  And then…questions!  For real, y'all, for real.

1:10:30-1:11:15:  The Dave Clarke Five! (By which I mean, five questions from our pal Dave Clarke.)  Dave Clarke asks:  "Is it fair to say that half the appeal of superhero comics is getting to talk about (and/or bitch about) them with your friends?"

1:11:15-1:14:10: Also, from Dave Clarke:  "Can loyal Whatnauts look forward to more 2000AD discussion in 2013?"

1:14:10-1:15:45:  Dave Clarke! "Would you ever do a crossover episode with House to Astonish?"

1:15:45-1:15:55: DC:  "Which is better: Glamourpuss or Holy Terror?"

1:15:55-1:21:13:  DC Implosion! "Last time you guys did a question episode Jeff promised to describe more things as ‘chill’. Is there anything Jeff has read/seen/tasted lately that he would describe as ‘chill’?"  

1:21:13-1:23:09: Question 1 of 2 from Jer:  "Waffles. Can the concept fly in other parts of the country? Or is it Portland specific for some reason — and why?"

1:23:09-1:34:02:  Question 2 of 2 from Jer:  "I’d like to know what comics media you guys generally consume daily/weekly/monthly (of course, Graeme reads 16 sites by only reading his own stuff, right?). Obv. you read Bleeding Cool at times; what about TCJ online? Etc.?"  [This is one of our classic 'Goofus and Gallant" moments.]

1:34:02-1:38:38: Steve queried: "What surprised you (positively or negatively) in the comics industry in 2012? Any predictions for 2013?(Unless you were planning to cover that sort of thing in your last podcast this year or first one next year anyway.)"

1:38:38-1:40:41:  Colbert said: "Opinions on best inkers for Kirby and Steve Ditko inking Kirby. And… damn. I can’t think of a waffle joke."

1:40:41-1:44:39:  A.L. Baroza asked:  "In light of the Sean Howe book and the brief discussion here a few podcasts back over just what it is that a comics editor does these days, what do you two consider a good or effective example of comics editing for Big Two corporate superhero IP? Keeping in mind that there’s always gonna be a tension between creator ambition, the company need to police and maintain a character’s brand, and a primarily nostalgia-slash-event-driven market. Is it even possible these days to navigate through all the competing demands and end up with something like “art”, or should we just write off the idea of lofty ambition for the genre at this point?"

1:44:39-1:45:06: J_Smitty_ asked: "What do you think of the new Ke$ha record?"

1:45:06-1:51:18:  Jerry Smith asked: "(1) Spider-Man: Ditko or Romita?  (2) Do you buy $4.00 comics? What is the highest price you would pay for a 22-32 page floppy?  (3) Karen Berger as head of creative development at Image Comics. Please consider and comment."

1:51:18-1:55:38:  MBunge asked: "The internet – the future of comic books or comic strips? It seems to me that the web is not really a delivery or economic format that lends itself to producing a blob of words and art once a month/two months/whenever lazy ass pros or guys who have to work real jobs to support their comics hobby can squeeze some work out."

1:55:38-2:03:38:  Mike Walker has a couple of questions: "The “make your own waffle station” at the hotel complimentary breakfast: Good idea or bad idea?  What’s your opinion on Bagels? Are frozen bagels out of the question? Fruity cream cheese or regular cream cheese? Describe your ideal bagel (if there is one.)  What was your most successful “cleanse?” Can we organize a “Wait, What: Cleanse Week?” Because I would like to see the comments after that week. Are you looking forward to a podcast where you aren’t answering questions, possibly sometime in 2014? What was your favorite Dave Clarke question? Least favorite?"

2:03:38-end: CLOSING COMMENTS REMEMBER TO TIP YOUR WAITRESS

And, lest I forget, here's the link:

Wait, What? Ep. 112: A New Dope

Hope you enjoy; there is more where that came from, coming soon!  Until then, thanks for listening and we hope you enjoy!

 

More Cowbell: Jeff on Things and Stuff.

At first, I was just going to write about Paul Tobin and Colleen Coover's Gingerbread Girl, but I'm still trying to figure out what I'm going to say about it.  (Uh, things?  And, uh, stuff?) So, after the jump, Gingerbread Girl, X-Men: First Class (the movie), Star Wars Omnibus (Vol. 3), and more...things and stuff.

(oh, and don't forget to scroll down for the shipping list...and John's reviews...and Graeme's reviews?!  Holy shit. We need to learn how to pace ourselves.)

GINGERBREAD GIRL GN:  In an age where comics are taking their cue from movie and cinema, it's delightful to read Paul Tobin and Colleen Coover's Gingerbread Girl, a graphic novel about a mysterious twenty-something in Portland, OR and her odd affliction:  it's comics shot through with a big ol' dose of live theater, as every character breaks the fourth wall to address the reader about what they know about Annah Billips.  (I'm not much of a live theater guy at all, but more than once I was reminded of Thornton Wilder's The Matchmaker (basis for Hello, Dolly?  I did not know that.  Thanks, Wikipedia!).)  Tobin's speeches are shot through with high-end whimsy -- "But of course that's all we really we want from someone," Annah's reluctantly smitten date says at one point, "Destroy a lover's mystery and they're less glimmering.  Throw breadcrumbs at pigeons and they'll flock to you in droves.  Throw a bread loaf at them and they'll scatter.  Crumbs of a mystique are just right. A loaf of explanation is too much." -- but they've still got nothing on Coover's delicious art, able to invest seemingly anyone and anything with charm and clarity.

Gingerbread Girl is a mystery of sorts, with the lead character believing she has a twin created from her own stripped away Penfield Homunculus, and everyone else trying to figure out if she's crazy or not.  As the above speech suggests, the graphic novel decides not to solve that mystery, but rather leave us tantalized on the edge of realization.  It's a fun choice, but one that left me feeling more than a little cheated.  I'm sure the idea is to make me look from the book's plot to its possible theme -- I'll take "narratives about narrative strategies" for $500, Alex! -- but I can't help but feel we could've gotten that and a more traditional nod toward conventional narrative climax.  One of the things this gorgeous looking book repeatedly reminds us about its main  character is that she's a tease.  It's a reminder the reader would do well to take to heart about Gingerbread Girl itself. Being teased is much more fun when there's little to lose, and $12.95 doesn't exactly grow on trees these days.  GOOD stuff,  I think?  Or maybe just at the very highest end of OK?  I still can't decide.

X-MEN: FIRST CLASS:  The last thing I expected from this movie was to be reminded of Mario Bava, and yet as the film hit hour 35 of lovely visuals, paper-thin characters and a boredom that teetered on the edge of hypnotic, it was the reference point I came back to.  Of course, I expected a movie about a young Charles Xavier (James McAvoy) and Erik Something-Or-Other-Because He's-Still-Magneto-To-Me (Michael Fassbender) recruiting mutants to fight Sebastian Shaw's Hellfire Club to have more than a dash of Brian Singeresque touches to it, so I figured there would be the usual queer subtext (tearful speeches by young teenagers about how they wish they could be like everyone else, young men with full lips and big eyes rubbing their bare arms).  But Matthew Vaughn turns X-Men: First Class into a sensual free-for-all, with ladies walking about in excessively cumbersome lingerie, diamond girls being tied to beds by the rails of the bed itself, excessively nude exploding female mannequins, and I'm not even getting into the whole Xavier/Magneto/Mystique triangle.

More than that, though, Vaughn's tremendous sense of visual flair and attention to detail makes the movie just visually sensuous: it sounds goofy, but there's a scene where Magneto plucks a submarine out of the water, and the way the droplets spun off the propellers had me transfixed. There were at least a dozen more moments like that and I savored each one of them.

Unfortunately, the movie has just too much fucking stuff in it -- it's sodden, is what it is -- showing us not just the opening of the first X-Men movie where a young Erik pries at the gates of Auschwitz, but also the scene that comes after that, as well as what Charles Xavier was doing at that point.  We not only get their meeting in mid-action scene, but the CIA's decision to help them recruit mutants, a long recruitment sequence, Hank McCoy as both versions of the Beast, a long sequence introducing the Hellfire Club...none of it is bad, exactly (except for January Jones, who in her inability to smile, talk, drink or even walk convincingly I now believe to be the genuine embodiment of  the Martian Spy Girl from Tim Burton's Mars Attacks!) but there's just no fucking room for anything to breathe.  It's three good movies jammed into one exasperatingly long and dull one, with every dramatic conflict boiled down so much they might as well been bullet points on a Powerpoint presentation.

I think if I'd seen this movie while hopped up on prescription pain medication, I would've loved its horny languor. (If it turns out that Vaughn knocked up January Jones as the rumors have it, it won't be surprising at all.  In fact, what would be surprising would be if he didn't also impregnate the script girl, Zoe Kravitz, Rose Byrne's slip, and that kid who played The Beast.) But it was a slog and a chore to make it to the end of this movie and it really didn't have to be.  Somewhere between EH and AWFUL.

STAR WARS OMNIBUS, VOL. 3:  At Graeme's suggestion, I picked up a copy of this from the library way-too-long ago and have been poking through it at the rate of a few stories a week.  These are the Marvel comics from the early '80s reprinted, covering the period immediately following The Empire Strikes Back.  As I told Graeme on the podcast, the ESB is exactly where I jumped off the Star Wars comic wagon, in no small part because it became obvious that none of it really mattered:  nothing says "we've told the creators of our licensed product nothing" like a romance between Han Solo and Princess Leia and the infamous "Luke, I am your father" speech.

Did I say "nothing"?  That is a lie, I admit it -- what really says "we've told the creators of our licensed product nothing" is reading this volume in light of the events of Return of the Jedi.  The subtitle for this volume is "A Long Time Ago..." but it really should've been "George Lucas' Galactic Twincest Follies." There are no less than half-a-dozen disquieting scenes where Luke and Leia almost kiss or spend quiet moments pondering their unspoken, but strongly felt feelings for one another.  If only V.C. Andrews could've written that "Splinter of the Mind's Eye" sequel!

But Graeme is right in a lot of ways -- these stories, the majority of them by David Michelinie and Walt Simonson, with Simonson plotting and doing layouts with Tom Palmer doing heavy finishes, are a lot like watching the original trilogy over and over again.  Curiously, even though this takes place after Empire, the only real bits the talent take from that movie are Lando and the idea of a rebellion always on the run from a seemingly all-powerful Empire. Otherwise, it's a lot of impervious imperial bases that need exploding, blasters that need blasting, feelings that need trusting, and possible romantic triangles where two of the participants are siblings.  There's probably a good reason why Marvel's creative teams continued to treat Luke Skywalker as the untarnishable focal point -- my guess is Luke, young and orphaned and full of questions and potential, was much closer to the '70s Marvel hero archetype than awesome, dashing (kinda assholey) Han Solo -- even as Lucas threw a whole bunch of cold water on the idea of Luke as hero in Empire.

Ultimately, the story I enjoyed the best was the weirdest one -- the two-parter by Chris Claremont, Simonson and Carmine Infantino where an inventoried John Carter of Mars story is shoehorned into a Star Wars story.  I've always enjoyed Claremont's infrequent work on Star Wars (pre-teen Jeff would've told you that his favorite Marvel Star Wars issues were #17, co-plotted by Claremont, Star Wars Annual #1 with art by Mike Vosburg...and also Star Wars #38 with that awesome Michael Golden art, Claremont be damned) and here he gets a chance to let his ham actor instincts dig into a story in which Princess Leia crash-lands on a world suspiciously like Barsoom, and the swashbuckling hero suspiciously like John Carter gets something suspiciously like a space boner for her.  Strong, courageous, and the survivor of brutal torture, Princess Leia is Chris Claremont's idea of a hot chick and he makes the most of the first person narration by the Carter pastiche to talk about her brave resourcefulness and sad eyes.  In its way, the story is a better acknowledgment of Star Wars' roots than what Lucas went on to do in The Phantom Menace, though the airships here show a marked similarity to what is done there.  However, because these stories were written in simpler, far less ambitious times, there's not the thorough airing out of influences there could be, where we can really get the sense of just how much Star Wars owes to Burroughs' desert landscapes, exotic princesses, alien pals and low-gravity swashbuckling.  There's just a repurposing of art, a light feeling out of topics that will later become fetish (for Claremont, anyway) and then it's on to the next.

I thought this stuff was highly OK, and in some places quite GOOD, but I guess I prefer more Cosmic Twincest Follies far more intentional and far less accidental.  It was fun revisiting what so many of us thought Star Wars was, instead of what it actually turned out to be.

FLASHPOINT: LEGION OF DOOM #1:  "My name's Heatwave.  I've got a hunger... burning in my gut.  The only way to stop it... is to satisfy my appetite."

So begins the dumbest, most inept comic I've read in a while.  It's so bad I'm shocked Hibbs passed it over for his ever-increasing number of "I Have Read The Worst Comic I Have Ever Read" columns.  Here, Adam Glass and Rodney Buchemi treat us to a tale of  non-starter supervillain Heat Wave, who starts off the book incinerating one-half of Firestorm's secret identity because he wants to fight a guy whose head is on fire.  Then Cyborg shows up and awesome dialogue like "Didn't your mommy ever tell you not to play with matches, Heatwave?" "Sure did! So I burned her to death."  Then Heat Wave makes a train run out of control by...shooting it with flames?  Then Heat Wave ends up in prison where he proves himself to be a bad-ass by breaking the leg of a dude who must have shins made out of breadsticks.  Then Heat Wave gets manhandled by prison guard Amazo, which totally makes sense because Amazo is a robot with all the powers of the Justice League in an alternate universe where there never was a Justice League.  Then there's a Hostess cupcake ad, just like we had back in the '70s, except it's eight pages long and it's about Subway.  Then the awesome Legion of  Doom headquarters shows up but here in the Flashpoint universe it's a prison for super-tough criminals but for some reason Heat Wave is put in there, too.  Then Zsasz threatens Heat Wave. Then Clue Master turns up.  Then Heat Wave kicks a dude in the nuts.  Then, later in their cell, Clue Master clutches his stomach, coughs up blood, and then Plastic Man pulls himself out of Clue Master's mouth.  Yes, Clue Master was a mule used to smuggle in Plastic Man who on the last page is standing there grinning evilly, saying "Okay, you ready to blow this popsicle stand?" as one bloody arm still juts from Clue Master's mouth.  The next issue caption helpfully says, "NEXT ISSUE:  PLASTIC MAN!"

(Finally, I know why Jack Cole killed himself. Poor precognitive bastard.)

If you're the fan of the noise that's made when someone scrapes the very bottom of the barrel, this is the book for you. I actually hope this book has 100% sell-through for retailers, because I worry it will otherwise end up being donated to a hospital somewhere and make ill and injured children lose the will to live.  This book gets the seldom-used ASS rating which is actually overrating it by just a tad.  Please don't tell me you bought it and enjoyed it.