Wait, What? Ep. 146: Two:One

Man. the stuff you could buy out of the back of comics.

Hey, everyone!  We're back with another  podcast.  You should download it and listen to it really loud while you watch the last episode of True Detective!  (Why? I don't know.  It would make the experience more cinematic, maybe?  I mean, I suppose I could've taken the time to craft some outrageously satisfying joke about, uh, hmm, see, now you know the problem I'm having with that one and really the joke -- even if I could craft one, which it is now clear I couldn't  -- would've only really truly been funny for a brief period of time, whereas failure is enduring and therefore timeless and therefore ever-timely and besides don't we just die in the end, anyway?)

<<jazz hands>>

Anyway, after the jump: "Show notes? I'll show you show notes, mister!"

00:00-5:28: Greetings!  I must say, we are off and running in this installment, although part of the reason why I can say that is my definition of “running” includes “arguing about Taco Bell’s Waffle Taco within a minute of starting the podcast.”  (This may be the reason my exercise regimens aren’t as successful as they should be.)  (Also, we complain about people who talk about the word “seekrits,” (instead of “secrets”) while at the same time having to admit that we currently have “seekrits” (the term which is somehow, we realized, more innocuous than “secrets,” which sound like they could, you know, get someone killed and stuff.))  Seekrits/secrets!  WE HAVE THEM AND HOPE TO SHARE THEM SOON (Oh, sure.  Now I'm going to not punctuate, after the hell that was trying to track all those parentheticals.) 5:28-27:38: As you may recall, a few months back, a Whatnaut gave Jeff a free hit of the glass pipe that is Marvel Unlimited.  Now (and by now, we mean, “through March 14”), anyone can get a month of Marvel Unlimited for only $0.99.

Graeme gave it a try on his Kindle Fire and here’s what he had to say.  (And for what it’s worth -- yeah, I know I'm going into "paren mode" on you again -- because that same Whatnaut spent the ninety-nine cents on me, I have MU for another month and it’s been all updated since we recorded to include Marvel AR and the Dynamic Audio and re-tooled up the interface (finally, when you get to the end of the issue, you can jump to the next one).  And I’d probably wax even more rhapsodically about it if it didn’t keep making me log out and back in because it suddenly randomly decides I can only see three page samples even though it says I’m a member. Once they get that fixed though…)  Also discussed:  Comixology getting hacked, Marvel’s possible future digital plans, we try to figure out exactly how quickly Graeme would be all over the DC equivalent for Marvel Unlimited, the recent digital sale from 2000 A.D., and more. P.S. Thanks, Matt! 27:38-31:36: Because of aforementioned 2000 A.D. digital sale, Jeff read Purgatory, Mark Millar’s lead-in to the Judge Dredd event, Inferno, with art by Carlos Ezquerra.  The extent to which Mark Millar has arguably managed to win at American superhero comics and yet lose at 2000 A.D. is a fascinating, fascinating thing…although not as fascinating for Jeff as finding out that the brilliant Colin Smith (from Too Busy Thinking About My Comics) has been covering Mr. Millar’s work in bewitching detail over at the Sequart site.  Most of you, like Graeme, were probably already in the know about this, but for those of you, like Jeff, who were not, that link is gold, Whatnauts.  Solid gold. Also? In case you didn't feel like counting? Seven commas, my friend. Suck it. 31:36-44:27: Here’s where you get to Rog!  If you want to hear Jeff and Graeme talk about the first issue of IDW’s Rogue Trooper by Brian Ruckley and Alberto Ponticelli, go to 44:27.  To hear Jeff and Graeme continue to talk about Mark Millar, including his amazing “exclusive” to Comic Book Resources and his first issue of Starlight with artist Goran Parlov, keep listening!  (Also mentioned:  Flash Gordon, John Carter, Up, The Incredibles, and like that.  Although, to be entirely honest, I don't think there is any other specific titles mentioned but I tried to cover that up by typing "and like that."  Why?? You're either on board with this show or not, right?  It's not like you're going to be reading these show notes if you're not listening, yes?  Unless you're just really bored and even though you haven't listened to the podcast before, you're deciding to skim these show notes to get some sense of the tenor of things...but even then, why would the final deciding factor be the number of other topics we bring up while talking about Starlight?  And if it was, why?  What's wrong with you that something so picayune could influence you? I don't have a problem, you have a problem!) 44:27-1:00:45:  Jeff and Graeme talk about the first issue of IDW’s Rogue Trooper by Brian Ruckley and Alberto Ponticelli, the appeal of Rogue Trooper generally, the character's greatest problem, and more.  No, really.  There's more. I'm not just saying that like I was right up there.  There really is. 1:00:45-1:07:43: Since we’re talking about 2000 A.D. so much, Graeme brings up a book he’s read an advance copy of that he enjoyed with that same sort of vibe, the first issue of Magnus, Robot Fighter by Fred Van Lente and Cory Smith.  That, by the way, is out this week from Dynamite, in case you're interested.  I said "advance" copy but I wasn't really specific at the time. Wasn't appropriate. Would've made that sentence even more grammatically fraught. Trust me. 1:07:43-1:14:34:  Afterlife With Archie #4!  Believe it or not, Graeme and Jeff are still digging this book by Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa and Francesco Francavilla (almost as Jeff likes talking about himself in the third person and writing in the first person plural.  Man, no kidding.  We still really like it a lot. It just never gets old.  I wonder why, though.  I guess, all those formative years reading SPY magazine? Although thinking about it:  what's wrong with me that something so picayune could influence me? You don't have a problem! I have a problem!). But! We are digging it a lot.  Like, a lot a lot.  We also talk about the recent news coming out of Archie [Comics, not Andrews], such as Aguirre-Sacasa being made CCO and Lena Dunham writing an upcoming story for Archie.  If you listen closely, you can tell how badly Jeff wants to talk about Girls, but perhaps fortunately for all of us, the topic is shelved for another time. 1:14:34-1:22:06: In The Days of the Mob!  Graeme finally gets his hands on the reprints of Jack Kirby’s amazing (and amazingly short-lived) crime anthology series from the early ‘70s, and we go on to talk about, you know,  JACK KIRBY. 1:22:06-1:26:00: By contrast, Jeff got his hands on Revenge #1 by Jonathan Ross and Ian Churchill…although it’s probably more accurate to say that he got it on his hands, if you understand what we're saying.  If not, don’t worry: it’ll become pretty clear as the discussion goes on. 1:26:00-1:30:02: Vandroid #1 by Tommy Lee Edwards, Noah Smith, and Dan McCaid.  It is, in some ways, very much the same as Revenge, and in some ways very, very different.  Jeff also brings up Machete Kills by Robert Rodriguez, as if that movie could bridge the gap between Revenge and Vandroid, which… I don’t know. Maybe I’m overthinking it. I mean, not like the rest of this week's show notes. 1:30:02-1:44:26: Forever Evil #6!  Graeme has read it.  Does he overthink it?  He doesn’t!  It’s pretty much terrible and he tells us why.  Also discussed:  The status quo of the New 52, James Robinson, cognitive dissonance, and more. 1:44:26-1:49:34: By contrast, Graeme has read the Batman/Superman Annual by Greg Pak, Jae Lee, Kenneth Rocafort, and Philip Tan and quite liked it, although the fact that it retails for $5.99 does give one pause, doesn’t it? 1:49:34-2:00:02: Graeme tries to goad Jeff into a speed round to talk about the remaining books on his list and Jeff, like the good mule that he is, slows down that much more under the pressure.  But he does talk about the first two issues of Bob Fingerman’s rebooted Minimum Wage; The Fuse by Antony Johnston and Justin Greenwood; Scooby-Doo Team-Up #3 by Sholly Fisch and Dario Brizuela; and the absorbing and superlative Nijigahara Holograph by Inio Asano, the latter of which Jeff just about goes breathless trying to think of enough good things to say. A truly amazing piece of work, and so incredibly worth checking out, I can’t even begin to tell you...although if you think about it, that phrase is 100% untrue in this particular instance, what with me telling you about telling you about it. Which, if you think about it, is literally how beginning to tell someone would play out.  (Sure, it's not the only way -- you can just tell someone, right, I get that -- but it is a way.) 2:00:02-2:11:56: And that should be the end of it, a wrap in just a little over two hours.  Except…what about The Avengers?  What about our read-through of the first three hundred issues of The Avengers?  Even though we tell you we’ll hold off and discuss a full twenty-five issues next time, we just can’t resist talking for just a few minutes about issues #51 through the mid-to-late sixties by Roy Thomas and John Buscema. And by "a few minutes," we mean "almost twelve." 2:11:56-end: Hey, my single, "My Single is Dropping," is dropping!  (It's not, but that's what writing all this made me think of.)  Closing comments!  Our comments thread is currently toast, but feel free to email us or contact us on Twitter (which, if you don’t know how or where to do so, you’ll find out in this segment).

Okay, there you go.  Man, I can't tell you how much I wish I had actually edited the lines "what's wrong with me that something so picayune could influence me? You don't have a problem! I have a problem!" into the podcast, that way when you were listening to it while watching the last episode of True Detective and Rustin Cohle turns to Martin Hart and says the exact same thing at the same time, you can come back to the opening of this entry, and be all "holy shit, this guy's good," and I'd be all "The Aristocrats!"

<<jazz hands>>

But, instead, what actually happened was I jumped into a separate browser window to make sure I was spelling Marty's last name right and nearly spoiled the ending of True Detective for myself.  Thanks, East Coast writers.

<<jazz hands>>

Anyway, episode is on iTunes or down below.  You know the score, Alan Moore. Get with the listening!

Wait, What? Ep. 146: Two:One

Wait, What? Ep. 140: THX-1138 GIVING

It's Tom Scioli's American Barbarian family at a feast--that's pretty Thanksgiving-y, right?

Yes, and hello! Maybe not as late as usual, but probably twice as rushed as I managed to survive Thanksgiving #1 last week and now have to start packing and planning for Thanksgiving #2 this week.

So: behind the jump, show notes of a somewhat speedy kind and the actual podcast itself. Join us, will you not?

00:00-13:36: This is the third time we’ve recorded together in a week, so we are a bit punchy and Graeme is very busy!  Initial topics covered under the "holy cow Graeme is so busy" rubric: CGI werewolves vs. practical effects werewolves, how scary Dr. Who should be, Fakesgiving, Batsgiving, Guy Fieri Tex Wasabi, and more. 13:36-28:02: Returning to the subject of Batsgiving -- what’s up with that? Jeff asks Graeme.  Stephanie Brown, Catwoman’s butt, genetically designed DC artists, Lois Lane: A Celebration of 75 Years, the challenge of weekly comics, and more. 28:02-34:12:  Comics we’ve read!  Scooby-Doo Team Up #1 by Sholly Fisch and Dario Brizuela! (Yes, this is a book we both read.) 34:12-39:12: Harley Quinn #0 by Jimmy Palmiotti, Amanda Connor, and a slew of artists. Also discussed: Deadpool, Ambush Bug, humor in superhero books, redrawn page confusion, and more… 39:12-42:09: Batwoman issue #25 by Marc Andreyko with art by Trevor McCarthy, Andrea Mutti, Pat Olliffe and(!) Jim Fern. Discussed: putting your best foot forward, making trite things triter, speedily padding out your show notes entries with inessential list items. 42:09-46:45: Sex Criminals #3 by Matt Fraction and Chip Zdarsky.  Discussed: Jeff being wrong, Jeff being terrible, humor in non-superhero books, top ten tips to a ineffable, non-flabby butt, more tips for list-padding, etc. 46:45-54:53: Time for Graeme’s Agents of SHIELD update—Update! it’s still terrible!  Also mentioned: Heroes, X-Files, fantasy TV flashes in the pan, etc. 54:53-1:00:24: Afterlife with Archie #2 by Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa and Francesco Francavilla! With a bonus Gray Morrow black & white story that felt like actually felt like a generous bonus. Interestingly, despite the lesbianism and implied incest, we discussed neither, nor did Jeff mention the nagging feeling he had that he was reading brilliantly repurposed Glee fanfic, nor did we talk about the importance of discussing all the things that could have been discussed but weren't when trying to make one look like one's giving others their money's worth with regard to show notes, etc. 1:00:24-1:01:23:  American Barbarian by Tom Scioli!  Yes, we’ve raved about this book before but Jeff is raving about it again since, in an uncommon display of reverse serialization, Scioli is offering digital issues of the webcomic-turned-graphic-novel at .99 on Comixology. 1:01:23-1:10:36:  Avengers: Endless Wartime by Warren Ellis and Mike McKone.  Graeme read it, Jeff did not and his narrative strategies for show notes puffery has run out.  Perhaps he should try pulling a card from the online Oblique Strategies deck! Hmmm, the strategy is "What wouldn't you do?"  And so the second half of U2's career is explained. 1:10:36-1:18:33:  Essential Captain America Vol. 7 by various and assorted.  And a possibly crazy plan is possibly maybe hatched!  Seriously, I should sit down and figure out if it's even doable, this thing we came up with.  It seems pretty crazy. 1:18:33-end: Closing comments! Corrections and Amendments!  A bit of shilling for Jeff’s book (with the best stuff done by Graeme, unsurprisingly)!  Another link to our guest appearance on House to Astonish!  And best wishes to you for a happy Thanksgiving, while acknowledging we will not be back next week!

Well, there we have it. That was smartly put together and annotated, wasn't it?

Episode is live (or liveish) on iTunes, and also available right here, by gum:

Wait, What? Ep. 140: THX-1138 GIVING

As always, we hope you enjoy and thanks for listening!

Wait, What? Ep. 136: Finally, Finally, Finally.

Anyone remember in what book Tolkien references the Battle of the Open-Faced Sandwich?  Infographic/opening salvo by the invincible Kate McMillan.

Oh, man. I hope that infographic does not hog up too much of our precious SavCrit real estate--please don't miss Abhay writing about Lazarus or that piece about how DC ran its print runs for Villains Month, or other fine entries!

Also, do join us after the jump for shownotes for our latest "Reunited-and-it-feels-so-good-except-Graeme-and-I-exchange-words-about-Game-of-Thrones-so-how-good-can-we-feel-really?" podcast!

0:00-22:17: Hey, we are back and we are discussing some of the groovy NYCC announcements that the savvy Mr. McMillan knew at the time of recording.  Among the various bombshells dropped:  Priest and Bright back on Quantum & Woody; DC's announcement of the Batman weekly, Batman Eternal;  and a huge block of time wherein Graeme tells us about the Marvel announcements, including Trial of The Jean Grey; the Black Widow's new title; Al Ewing on a new Loki title; Ales Kot taking over on Secret Avengers; Avengers Undercover; All-New Ghost Rider #1 (which sounds pretty ridiculous but as I've since found out Felipe Smith of Peepo Choo fame is writing it, I'd be into it, and ditto on the Disney title written by Witch Doctor's Brandon Seifert); and much, much more. 22:17-55:14:  But there were also some pretty great comics that came out in our semi-skip weeks too and we sit down to talk about those too:  a very brief discussion of Paul Pope's Battling Boy (Graeme had read it; Jeff hadn't); Saga #14 (see?  It's been a while, hasn't it?) which leads into a talk about…TV(?) including the season debuts of Parks & Recreation, Nashville, New Girl, and others; The Star Wars #2 (with some impressive kvetching from Graeme) and which features this:

(sorry about the dumb reflective lighting in the pic, we have pretty awful lighting in our place)

Empowered: Nine Beers with Ninjette; Fatale #17; IDW's Powerpuff Girls #1 by Troy Little; Rocket Girl #1 by Amy Reeder and Brandon Montclare; and Batman #24 by Scott Snyder and Greg Capullo. 55:14-1:07:50: Additionally, Graeme has read Superman Wonder Woman #1; Green Lantern Corps #24, Forever Evil: Arkham War #1; and the first issue of Coffin Hill by Caitlin Kittredge and Inaki Miranda, and goes on to discuss them, thank goodness, otherwise I would've really wasted some time typing those names out. 1:07:50-1:13:01: Graeme has also read Kings Watch #2 by Jeff Parker and Mark Laming, and a copy of First Second's Fairy Tales Comics in which Chris Duffy has assembled a powerhouse of comic talent--it is worth looking out for. By contrast, Jeff scratches his weary head over Walking Dead #115. 1:13:01-1:17:33:  And yet, we were both surprised and delighted by Afterlife with Archie by Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa and Francesco Francavilla (The interview with Aguirre-Sacasa that Jeff calls out is available here.  The image Jeff chooses to babble about briefly that you can't see because we are an audio podcast is this one:

1:17:33-1:21:16: Compare and contrast with Shaolin Cowboy #1 by Geoff Darrow from Dark Horse Comics?  How can one? And yet, Jeff does. 1:21:16-1:39:56: Lazarus #4.  Lazarus has received a pretty good drubbing on this site, but Jeff continues to read it.  If you want to hear a new, far-more-inarticulate set of frustrations with the title, these are the few minutes for you! 1:39:56-1:45:16: Our most controversial topic yet--the open-faced sandwich!  (See above.)  Little did Jeff know when he recorded his solocast that he was inviting tremendous dissent from many…most especially the formidable Kate McMillan. (Again, see above.) 1:45:16-1:59:44: And, finally: we talk about the long-gestating secret project that's been keeping Jeff busy seemingly forever -- the electronic imprint Airport Books and its first title, the reprint of E.J. Ehlers' never-before-printed Erotic Vampire Bank Heist.  Although we aren't the type to shill heavily (for ourselves, anyway), Graeme is kind enough to help Jeff do so here, and we do hope that if this is the sort of thing you're interested in, you consider picking up a copy for your Kindle or Kindle reading app. 1:59:44-end: Closing comments! A bit of excited blurbing about the Zombo trade leads to the promise/threat of a Zombo book club for next week!  Here's the cover so you know what to look for:

(See, I told you we don't shill for ourselves....)

And but so!

The podcast is on iTunes (probably, maybe, probably) but it is also here for your audible delectation:

Wait, What? Ep. 136: Finally, Finally, Finally.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go celebrate the launching of my imprint in fine style and go get my teeth cleaned and drilled. (On the plus side, the nitrous will probably give me hallucinations of chatting with Amanda Urban over some choice canapes, so maybe that's the perfect launch party.)

Thank you for your kindly attention, and we'll be back with ep. 137 next week!

"RAK TAC TAC TAC TAC." COMICS! Sometimes They Do It All Over Again!

So I went to the library and got this here book out. As is customary on my planet I read it and , as is inadvisable in my experience, I wrote this. Evasions, justifications, terrible writing, pointless digressions and probably unintended offence are probably in the offing. Why not join me as we look again at Marvel's first superhero team!

Reed Was beginning To Suspect His Friends Would Never Share His Pleasure In His Colonoscopy Results.

Readers ripe for a rucking will have noticed that once again I am discussing a Marvel book featuring characters created by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby, despite the fact that I said I wouldn't do so until they were credited on such works. That’s okay because what I find I really enjoy in my declining years is explaining myself to you. So I’m in the library (no, the Tories haven’t turned them all into Pay And Display Car Parks yet) and the first thing I do is head for the Kids section; not because I am a predatory sex criminal but because I am accompanied by my 6 year old son, okay? The second thing I do is spot BATMAN: THE KILLING JOKE in-between TERRY THE TOASTER WHO FLEW and DEAD DOGS IN HAPPYLAND.

"I'll send you a love letter straight from my heart, f*****."

So, the third thing I do is move B:TKJ to the Graphic Novel shelf because we don’t want an unfortunate court case involving Alan Moore, particularly as his Defence will have to call Dan Didio, and, as we have all seen this weekend, Dan Didio is the kind of man who writes Alan Moore the kind of ‘love letters’ called in evidence after the recipient has been dredged up from a canal with hearts carved into his face. While I am there single-handedly, with no thought of thanks or monetary recompense, averting another comics crisis my son strongly suggests I read FANTASTIC FOUR: SEASON ONE because he recognizes the characters from his aged and decrepit father’s bedside reading table. Yes, I find bringing a kid into the mix makes judgemental people back off real quick, I'm not proud of it but anyway...

FANTASTIC FOUR: SEASON ONE Artist David Marquez Writer Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa Colour Artist Guru E-FX Letterer VC’s Clayton Cowles Marvel, $24.99 (2011) The Fantastic Four created by Jack Kirby and Stan Lee

Not on this cover, "Created by Jack Kirby And Stan Lee" (See comments below which have prompted me to come back and insert this:) And by the above I do NOT mean that it SHOULD be on the cover I am just taking the rise out of the fact that the "Created By" credit appears nowhere in the book including the cover. I would just like "Created By Jack Kirby and Stan Lee" to appear IN the book and, yes, the CREDITS page would be just peachy. Apologies for any miscommunication. Nice to see people are thinking about the issue though!

I guess the origins of this book can be traced to Marvel wanting Original Graphic Novels so new readers can just pick them up and get the relevant skinny on the main MARVEL characters before running back to the LCS to buy all those Marvel comics no one is currently reading. It's a noble aim and one not entirely dissimilar to the origins of the original FANTASTIC FOUR (FF). According to published interviews with both creators neither Stan Lee nor Jack Kirby could agree on who came up with the FF, which is a real shocker right there. What is certain is that come up with the concept they did. It's pretty clear that the reason was the need for sales, a change of direction was required and DC/National seemed to be doing okay with those superfolks comics so maybe Marvel should follow suit toot suite? It was worth a pop.

Marvel's product pre-FF was getting pretty stale comprising as it did of  tales of such mind frying creations as “Taramasilata - The Mop That Frittered Its Youth Away like A Man!” (originally presented in Tales Of Shameful Evasion #630, Atlas Comics (1960)) These would usually involve a devastating rampage of destruction by said creature before a man who smoked a pipe stumbled on the fact that the creature was allergic to grass and then his girlfriend apologised on behalf of all womankind for being a nag. Sometimes a man who smoked grass would discover it was allergic to pipes, but he would be shot like the deadbeat he was by a cop and the world would die because it was weak. Steve Ditko usually drew those. Before anyone starts roasting my chestnuts over an open fire let me just point out that while the preceding is factually inaccurate I think it is accurate in spirit. These stories were formulaic and any fun was in the monster design and Kirby’s work seems sporting but hardly inspired. So formulaic in fact that these things could easily be believed to be self-replicating.

AMAZING ADVENTURES #6 (Nov,1961) by Jack Kirby & Stan Lee

In 1960/61 Kirby would be allowed to be as inspired as he liked when it looked like the doors of Atlas would close forever and Stan Lee importuned him for his aid in the creation of concepts which would revive interest in the company’s products.  Jack Kirby did not disappoint. Or Stan Lee would not disappoint when he came up with the concept of THE FANTASTIC FOUR and asked Jack Kirby to draw it.  Depends, really doesn't it? Anyway, FF #1 is clearly a transitional comic. It’s more monstercentric than superheroic. In fact the four themselves seem to have become monsters rather than heroes. The public react with fear and loathing at their appearance until the FF prove themselves by killing even bigger monsters than they are perceived to be. And those even bigger monsters look suspiciously like the very monsters the FF are intended to replace. Yes, it would be easy to get all post-modern about FF#1 here, but I'll spare you.

FANTASTIC FOUR #1 (Nov, 1961) by Jack Kirby & Stan Lee

Marvel's comics of this era are often applauded for having a greater sense of realism than the opposition's comics, and while this is because it wouldn't be that hard to do FF is actually quite daring in its characterisation. None of the four are particularly likable and after the crash they just get positively junk yard dog on each other. It is quite a stressful situation though, I’d probably react badly too.  The rawness of the emotions on display and the attendant unpleasant characterisations don't last long though. The four soon settle down in subsequent issues to become the reassuringly pleasant people we all spent so much money following in comics. The whole thing has an edgy, jarring quality and is all obviously a bit slapped together from the cover on in (Roy Thomas probably still wakes up sweating wondering where that rope binding Reed on the cover came from). But it worked enough for the seeds of greatness it contained to bloom fruit sweet enough to keep uncreative corporate employees drawing a salary for lo these many decades.

You'd think retelling this origin story (and also #4) some several decades on would result in a far superior experience but that isn't the case. There's nothing wrong with this book I guess, none of it is actively awful or offensive. But, again, none of it is inspired or amazing. It's innocuous, inoffensive stuff. It's there to be read but beyond that it doesn't inspire any strong feelings either way. Which is a bit of a problem when the whole purpose of the thing is to inspire you to buy more of these things, these comics. Aguirre Sacasa is a decent writer but here he appears hampered by the editorial dictates the book seems to embody. Now, I am not privy to the inner workings of Marvel editorial policy (I kept laughing so they threw me out) but I can reverse engineer the intentions behind this book, I think. Firstly it's called "SEASON ONE" which has obviously been borrowed from the world of TV without any thought. This book isn't a season, it's more of a pilot; the length tells you that. The contents also don't want you to have to think too hard, they are also all too happy to flatter the audience by referencing Proust but also to console them that there's no elitism here by chucking in J J Abrams and Zack Snyder as well.  As it is now 2012 the book goes out of its way to avoid some of the dumber elements of early FF (hence skipping #2 and #3) but can't avoid the core daftness of the concept. After all, it will probably never be possible to adequately explain why an intelligent man would crew his experimental space craft with his fiancé, her narcissistic brother and a school chum noted for his football skills. (Actually it is possible: it was a comic from 1961!) The characters get a TV update too, most notably Sue and Johnny. Overall the characters are blander than their initial appearance, but in an exciting reversal of gender stereotyping Sue Storm is actually presented as the most capable and effective member of the team. However, she is still a lady so she still has to spend a lot of time worrying about whether Reed will marry her or not. You can't fight genetics! Johnny, however, is just played as a straight-up man-slut so I guess Reed will have his extendable hands full finding cures for all the STDs fizzing inside his future brother-in-law.

Art-wise the whole thing is pretty tepid. There are some scenes of action which are less memorable than , um, that thing, er, I forgot and the talky scenes aren't electrifying either. Judging by the scant sketches in the back of the book Marquez is a talented artist but there's a difference between that and a talented comic book artist. Mostly Marquez struggles to be Steve McNiven but sometimes stumbles into the Liefeld-ian. There’s really nothing interesting about the storytelling, I'm afraid. It’s pretty basic, which means it works fine but doesn't play to the strengths of the medium. Which it should. You're trying to hook people on comics here, Marvel; so it might be an idea to show them what comics can do rather than attempt to replicate the readily available and cheaper experience of watching a TV show. Just a thought. On the whole, yes, it's just too TV for me. As the case of most TV while I am forced to recognise I am not the target demographic I also have to recognise that it is all competently done; I don't feel the need to seek out any more of it but neither do I feel inclined to harm things smaller than myself as a result of having experienced it. I guess that makes it OKAY!

FANTASTIC FOUR ANNUAL #1 (1963) by Jack Kirby & Stan Lee

The totally okay OGN portion is followed by a reprint of the first issue of Jonathan Hickman’s run on the regular FANTASTIC FOUR title. This particular issue is okay as well; packed with ideas and possibilities. But that’s usually the case with first issues of modern day runs called things like “stellar”, “landmark”,"pipe cladding” and “skirt raising” by people who are professional reviewers.  It is hilariously concerned that you get that it's about Fathers And Sons, really hilariously so. So much so in fact that it becomes the comic book equivalent of visiting a Fun Pub on a Saturday afternoon; watching all the workaholic Dads wondering what to do with the freedom sapping alien which shares their face as it sullenly sips on stale Fanta next to them. Oh, calm down, I’m just having some fun, I’m sure Jonathan Hickman’s “bum tickling” run on FANTASTIC FOUR is fine. What isn't fine is that Jonathan Hickman’s name is the only name that appears on this reprinted issue.  I’m not a Jonathan Hickman follower but I’m pretty sure that he doesn't write, pencil, ink, colour, letter and edit every issue of his “cat hazing” run on FANTASTIC FOUR.  Really, Marvel, you’re like a recalcitrant child and it's unbecoming in one so old. Sort it out, eh?

And then I was off to pick up some milk'n'bread before the shops shut. Those Sunday hours!

Hope you all had a good weekend with some COMICS!!!

Wait, What? Ep. 78: Quotes From Pandora Three-Sixteen

(This installment's accidental shout-out courtesy of Action Comics #7)

Normally, I try and pitch some rhetorical woo at you as a way to encourage or remind you to listen to this miniature stage play of the mind  Graeme (with his smooth, Noel Cowardesque line delivery) and I (with my stammering Method Actor incoherence) offer up each week.

However, as the soul-stealing monster known as Daylight Savings Time has arrived to demand the tribute of an hour from each of us trembling villagers, I fear I've got nothing especially fleet-footed with which to charm you, merely the verbal posturings of the maladroit and the overwrought.  The sundial? Tis broken.  The hourglass? Now hollow.

But if you wish to remember me fondly, then give Wait, What? Ep. 78 a chance:  it has Graeme and I discussing what Savage Critic rating we would give The Bible; spinoff books that can never seem to escape their progenitors; drug use and Dr. Who abuse; Action Comics, The Legion of Superheroes, Birds of Prey, and spinoff books that can never escape their progenitors; Fairest; the first issues of Saucer Country, Hell Yeah, Manhattan Projects (with spoilers for the first issue), and Superbia, Fatale #3; Fantastic Four: Season One; the amazing King City trade paperback from Brandon Graham; Detective Comics; G.I. Joe: Cobra; Wolverine #302; the DC Nation block on Cartoon Network, and much, much more.

iTunes is a wish that your heart makes (when your heart wishes for a cumbersome and inept media management program that gets totally fuxxored if you download the same update more than once, anyway) and so our latest episode should be discoverable there, but you are also invited to lasso that ethereal doggy right here, below:

Wait, What? Ep. 78.1: Quotes from Pandora Three-Sixteen

As always, we appreciate your patronage and hope you enjoy our latest offering!