"Man HAS No Understanding, Dr. Zira! He Can Be Taught A Few Simple TRICKS Nothing More!" COMICS! Sometimes I'm Just Glad I Don't Have Ka-Zar's Vet Bills!

In which I continue to fly in the face of popular opinion, medical advice, and common sense to continue my languorous amble through Marvel UK’s Planet of the Apes Weekly. Planet of the Apes by Tuska, Esposito & Moench

Anyway, this… PLANET OF THE APES WEEKLY #2 (Week Ending November 2nd 1974) Edited by Matt Softley Planet of The Apes Chapter Two: World of Captive Humans Art by George Tuska & Mike Esposito Written by Doug Moench Based on the 20th Century Fox Motion Picture Planet of The Apes (1968) Based on the novel by Pierre Boulle Gullivar Jones: Warrior of Mars Art by Gil Kane & Bill Everett Written by Roy Thomas Lettered by John Costa Freely adapted from the novel Lt. Gullivar Jones  by Edwin L. Arnold Ka-Zar: The Power of Ka-Zar! Art by Jack Kirby & Stan Grainger Written by Stan Lee Lettered by Sam Rosen Ka-Zar created by Jack Kirby & Stan Lee Marvel UK, £0.08 (1974)

Planet of The Apes Chapter Two: World of Captive Humans Art by George Tuska & Mike Esposito Written by Doug Moench Based on the 20th Century Fox Motion Picture Planet of The Apes (1968) Based on the novel by Pierre Boulle

In which Doug Moench and George Tuska continue to place scenes from the 20th Century Fox motion picture Planet of the Apes in front of you with all the vigour and drama of a tired vice cop at the end of his shift showing you mugshots while preoccupied with remembering where he stashed that fifth of Old Grandad. (No one's judging you; we’ve all been there.) Once again then, it’s Yeoman’s work all the way, with such little spark on the part of the art that at times Tuska’s people are so drained of emotion and animation they resemble big, stiff dolls. Still, George Tuska does wrench himself out of his torpor for a couple of panels where Taylor reacts badly to talk of brain surgery and experimentation but that’s the last page. To be fair, George Tuska had his moments. But few of them are on these pages. I know I said that’d be in the last one; I’m just keeping you on your toes. While faithful replication remains the paramount concern of the adaptation overall, there's still quite a bit of chicken fat about this thing.

Planet of the Apes by Tuska, Esposito & Moench

Everything feels dragged out as though the problem isn’t the allotted space but the filling of it. I guess this is why Moench expands on the movie dialogue to ensure every point is made at such ambiguity trepanning length that the movie seems subtle in comparison. (And it’s very much not a subtle movie; it isn’t supposed to be.) Turn that CAPS LOCK off, Moench fans, because I might seem to be giving Moench a hard time but, luckily, he does most of the Marvel Apes material and I’ll be saying far nicer things further down the line. Sure, this is just a weird isolated chunk of a story transformed into an episode by the weekly nature of UK comics production but there’s still a good bit or two. Certainly the bits where the chimpanzees are arguing about tenure, office supplies and quota systems was funnier after several decades sitting at a desk praying for my pension to kick in than it was at age four. While there are bits to like here, they were already in the movie. There’s nothing yet about the adaptation as a comic to cause anyone to start bouncing up and down, teeth bared, while slapping the top of their head. So far even the action scenes have been consistently spuffed down the comic’s leg. This issue's section is mostly talk, and it's all so enervating you pine for the inactive action of last issue. Tuska’s art is just too tentative here to engage for long when limited to talking heads. Heck, they are talking ape heads and still my mind wandered off and…well, I hope it gets back soon, I kind of need it. Meat‘n’taters this strip remains then. OKAY!

Gullivar Jones: Warrior of Mars Art by Gil Kane & Bill Everett Written by Roy Thomas Lettered by John Costa Freely adapted from the novel Lt. Gullivar Jones  by Edwin L. Arnold

The personal highlight of issue 2 is Gullivar Jones, Warrior of Mars by Gentleman Gil Kane and Rascally Roy Thomas. Now y’all know by now I’m a bit of a one for a GilRoy© Joint, but what y’all don’t know is this particular GilRoy© Joint is the exact and precise one to blame. But before we get to that we have the bit where I prove I can look stuff up on the Internet - this strip originally appeared in issues 16 to 21 of Creatures on The Loose in a series of 10 page instalments with the rest of the comic bulked out by reprints. The perfect size for its slot in PotA-W. This is the one about a Confederate yanked off to Mars where he meets a steel bikini clad princess and kills the stuffing out of a load of bad dudes. It is not to be confused with John Carter of Mars which is the one about a Confederate yanked off to Mars where he meets a naked princess and kills the stuffing out of a load of bad dudes. The two are not to be confused largely because Edwin Lester Arnold’s Gullivar Jones: His Vacation was published in 1905 and Burrough’s (Edgar Rice not William) first John Carter book arrived in 1912. I think, I was kind of losing the will to live reading about all that so feel free to correct me if I'm wrong. Anyway, I'm sure they are totally different because the last thing we want is lawyers developing time travel so they can go back and get dead people suing each other as well. Because they will. They will. Hasslein knew. The similarities between the two properties are certainly, um, arresting but then I don’t know how faithful GilRoy©’s adaptation is; there’s always the possibility they blended the two.

Gullivar Jones by Kane, Everett, Thomas & Costa

It can’t be all that faithful to the source because here Gullivar is a ‘Nam Vet (no, not an Indo-Chinese animal doctor; the other kind.) and instead of a magic carpet he is Mars borne on a sort of cloud composed of Gil Kane’s ™ and © cosmic amoebas. Gullivar also has a sweep of ice creamy hair atop his chiselled head not unlike Gentleman Gil’s artic topping. Gully’s hair turns white during his transportation from Earth to Mars; when Gil Kane’s hair turned white is anyone’s guess. (Probably thirty seconds after he started working in comics. Only kidding! It’s just one big fun club-house of magic!) Keen Kane Watcher’s will note quite a lot of Gil Kane’s heroes spurn Just For Men. I don’t know if GilRoy© threw that bit in nor if they gave Gullivar enhanced muscle powers like ERB’s Jon Carter because…I haven’t done my due diligence. Anyway, Gullivar lands on Mars and without checking much out immediately wades in and starts killing things while immediately pairing up with the swellest gal round, Heru by name. It’s a ridiculously propulsive chunk of bounding, swashbuckling, romance, leaping, jumping, violence, buckswashling, torn shirts, and heterosexual male wish fulfilment. It is fantastic stuff if you are partial to GilRoy© Joints, barbaric tomfoolery or, um, John Carter (Shhh!)

Gullivar Jones by Kane, Everett, Thomas & Costa

Gil Kane’s on top form here despite the muting effect of the B& W art’s none too precise reproduction. I think some of it’s been redrawn to make it pop out of the monochrome slurry the colour has become, and I’d suggest there looks to be some redrawing around the cups area of Heru's bikini as well if that didn’t make me seem like a creepy weirdo. ( I am a creepy weirdo, of course, but apparently lot of adult life is spent hiding what really you are so no one burns you in public.) Mostly though, I’d say Gil Kane was into this one, which I certainly was. So much so that I know this strip here is where Gil and I struck up an immediate bond; one whereby I would forever after be willing to pay him for his services. Hmm, that sounded a lot less seedy in my head. Because I remember (and I do remember this) reading this exact strip in this issue and feeling Kane’s hit me like Larkin's “enormous yes". Seriously, somewhere in pages 4 and 5 I was lost; Gil and I were in bonded by the chains of art/commerce for life after that. So, you know, if I can just address every comics publisher everywhere, I find the lack of Gil Kane reprints pretty ridiculous. Sort it out, please. Pronto, if you would.

Gullivar Jones by Kane, Everett, Thomas & Costa

We’ll take about Gil Kane more later no doubt, no doubt. But what about Roy? Roy Thomas plays a big part in making this strip work as well as it does, and I think it works pretty well. I like Roy Thomas; Roy’s okay by me. He likes order to excess and can probably find his apple peeler in the dark but he can write. He can write pulp, anyway. There are plenty of words on these pages; perhaps too many for today’s prose averse readers, but I like ‘em and I think they’re needed. It’s written in a really butch pulp style - this prose stops off in a bar after a hard day riveting to catch the game and sink some brews; this prose buys its shoes by mail because no way is another man touching its feet; this prose wonders why Walter Hill never won an Oscar; this prose totally tucks hard packs of cigarettes under its rolled up sleeve; this prose is macho stuff all told. Which is great, it keys you in, it cues you up - this is beefy pulp action soaked in bourbon, and apologies and poetry aren’t happening tonight, baby! And that’s intentional, “With a cording of throat muscles” is no one’s first choice of wording. We all know what he means but how he says it means something too. Writing there; it’s not just putting one word after another. Gullivar isn't like Roy, Gullivar doesn’t work with words, he works with his hands and his hands are killing hands. Thomas' lurid insight into the mind of the protagonist makes it a much richer and more immersive experience. It's still pulp nonsense but you're paying attention. Here the clumsy carnality of Thomas’ prose couples with the sensual elegance of Kane’s practically throbbing visuals to make a heated experience indeed. Captions aren’t always necessary but also captions aren’t always redundant; captions are a tool - one of many. You choose the right tool for the job. And Gullivar Jones is a right tool. Or something. Someone should reprint this stuff, it's VERY GOOD!

Ka-Zar: The Power of Ka-Zar! Art by Jack Kirby & Stan Grainger Written by Stan Lee Lettered by Sam Rosen Ka-Zar created by Jack Kirby & Stan Lee

This starts off with one of those great full page panels which make no sense whatsoever if you think about it for a second - Kraven is thrusting a newspaper at the reader and bellowing about something that’s really getting his balls in an uproar. But, and trust me on this, we aren’t actually there so I don’t know what that all’s about. It’s like we aren’t meant to take it literally or something! Turns out Kraven is on his own in his Kirby-esque study built of, as so many Kirby studies are, antique Lego. Kraven’s plan is to talk out loud about everything he knows concerning Ka-Zar into a “recording device” and when he’s done that, having kick started his little grey cells into unconscious ratiocination, I guess, he will know where Ka-Zar and Zabu are. As plans go this seems pretty flimsy, but it works so, hey, what do I know. Surprisingly, despite being dressed like an Earth-2 Liberace Kraven doesn't want to adopt Lord Peter Whimsy (aka Ka-Zar); Zabu is his real target because, well, Kraven has issues - check out his name! He’s gonna find that sabre-toothed tiger and give it a good wrasslin’!

Ka-Zar by Kirby, Grainger, Lee & Rosen Preventing you from registering how none of what you read so far makes a lick of sense the story suddenly hurls images of Ka-Zar and Zabu saving some dinosaurs from their own stupidity at you. At this stage (quite early; "Ka-Zar first showed up in the now legendary X-Men#10 (1965). Joltin'John.") in his career Ka-Zar is still talking like he’s got something lodged in his brain. Ka-Zar is basically a blonde Tarzan who lives in the pocket of prehistoric throwbackery known as The Savage Land, and is accompanied by a sabre-toothed tiger rather than a cheeky chimp. I don’t know about you, but by the time I finished that sentence we seemed to be a long way from Tarzan, and yet the jungly musk of Edgar Rice Burroughs’ creation still permeates everything about Ka-Zar. Go figure. Kraven’s a wrasslin’ man with wrasslin’ on his mind so there’s a whole lot o’ wrassling in this one with some characteristically dynamic Kirby panels. I am always particularly taken by the one where bodies explode away from a figure at the epicentre of a panel and the one where someone cranes their neck to look back out of the panel with a big old “Oh Shit!” expression on their strangely blocky face. Both of which are here but my favourite was a trio of tusslin’ panels which brought to mind a famous Harvey Kurtzman sequence:

Ka-Zar by Kirby, Grainger, Lee & Rosen

Cover Detail from "Corpse On The Imjin" And Other Stories by Harvey Kurtzman (Fantagraphics, 2012)

Just a fun collision of images in my head with no deeper meaning or import, I’m sure. But I think we can all agree that Kirby’s use of the foot there is pretty funny. There’s no way this strip wasn’t driven by Kirby’s art and the proof is in the patter Lee provides. Patter which is almost puce in the face as it struggles to both keep up and pretend something sensible is happening. Nothing sensible is happening here but who gives a cheesy toupee when there’s a whole lotta Kirby goin’ on ! GOOD!

BONUS: Rejected visual pitch for Just Imagine...Stan Lee Creating V For Vendetta!

NEXT TIME: George Tuska starts livening up! Jack Kirby clearly has other things on his mind! And Gil Kane's work forces me to don flame retardent pants! All this and a whole lot less in Part 3 of Planet of the COMICS!!!

Wait, What? Ep. 145: Doublespeak.

It's funny because it's true.

Hey there, everyone!  You miss us?  Well, good news, we're back--all three of us (Graeme, me, and my terrifying vocal echo that haunts much of this podcast).  After the jump:  show notes and promises to do better!

So, yeah.  there's a bit of an echo and we're damn sorry about it.  Steps are even now being taken to make sure it doesn't happen again.  I was pretty sure in this case it was caused by generous application of our good friend Levelator, but in fact I think it may be the volume in my headset.  Or Graeme's headset.  Or Graeme's head.  It's a thing we're working on, honest.

And because I want to get this to you as early as possible (which is, you know, an entire day early), let me get on those show notes...although before I do, let me remind you to jump over and check out Hibbs' analysis of the annual Bookscan numbers:  I'm always a bit stunned by the amount of sheer statistical elbow grease Hibbs put into the piece.  Although publishers and some bloggers are generally quick to poo-poo the accuracy of the results, I feel like there are very few places where people not on the publishing end of the industry get any chance to look at how the comics industry interacts with "the real world."  It's a helluva service (and even if Hibbs were getting paid big money to write it--which I doubt--that would still be mitigated by the amount of time it takes to do it).

Anyway, off the soapbox, let's get on with the vaudeville:

00:00-10:12: Greetings! We have simultaneous hellos, which may well be a first for us. Graeme checks to make sure Jeff is recording and then fills you in on what you missed with our lost episode:  super-quick coverage of Ms. Marvel #1, Loki #1, Empowered Vol. 8, The perils of being “neggo” (I think we passed on the “Leggo of my neggo” joke for reasons probably related to good sense).  There’s also beard talk!  Beard talk!  We actually compare notes about growing beards, voluptuous or otherwise. Thank god this thing we call the Internet was developed to allow two men in different states (in both the geographic and beard-growing senses of the term) to discuss their beards and allow people from all over the world to listen in.  Then we talk weather, Jeff’s snowaphobia, Dr. Who time travel sounds, all the usual stuff you’d expect.  You do expect it, don’t you?  You should.) 10:12-36:24:  Graeme was re-reading The Best of Milligan & McCarthy and has a question for us:  are we somehow past the point of non-ironic fun comics?  Under discussion: Archer &Armstrong, Quantum & Woody (more ampersands in this paragraph than I've typed in a month), and a significant chat about four books by Kyle Baker (Cowboy Wally, Why I Hate Saturn, You Are Here, and Undercover Genie) which leads us down a pretty deep Nostalgia-Hole where we discuss books like Beautiful Stories for Ugly Children and Wasteland.  As John Kane would say: Comics! Sometimes they are obscure and old (like the people who talk about them)! [Edit:  Someone brought to my attention an interview with John Ostrander about Wasteland conducted by Copra genius Michel Fiffe over at The Factual Opinion.  You should check it out!  I am doing so right this very minute.] 36:24-50:28: Since Graeme has already written somewhere in the neighborhood of thirty thousand words on the Guardians of the Galaxy trailer (this one being my personal favorite), Jeff decides to take advantage of that and get the man's impressions about it. 50:28-1:14:44: From new movies to old! Prometheus made its way to HBO so Jeff got a chance to see it and…hoo boy.  Fascinating enough that we are compelled to pick it apart, but don’t let this fool you into seeing it.  Oh no, please.  We don’t want that on our heads.  Mentioned: Buck Rogers, Tom Hardy, A Reverse Man Who To Fell To Earth, prequels, The House on Haunted Hill, a secret challenge to Sean Witzke, Smallville, Marc Bernardin’s take on Gotham, The Savage Hawkman by Tony Daniel and more. 1:14:44-1:21:32: Batman #28!  As the podcast’s current bat-nerd, Jeff has thoughts.  He also has thoughts on the last few issues of Batman & Two-Face.  Oh, yes.  Yes, he does. 1:21:32-1:36:48:  And we both have thoughts about “Titan,” the excellent Judge Dredd storyline by Rob Williams and Henry Flint that just wrapped up in 2000 A.D.  Graeme calls it “Trifecta-level quality” so that is very high praise. Jeff also loves it but actually feels the last few issues of the mag have been perfectly balanced and thoroughly enjoyable.  We talk more about the storyline, the mag, what’s happening in the Megazine, conflicting feelings re: singles v. trades, DRM v. non-DRM, and more. 1:36:48-2:05:35: Yes, we did keep up with our reading on Avengers…somehow!  So we talk about issues #26-50 by Stan Lee, Roy Thomas, Don Heck, John Buscema, George Tuska, a bunch of really good inkers, and others.  Also discussed:  the mysteries of Hawkeye,  story twists, terrible continuity, why Inside Llewyn Davis should have Hercules in it, and more. 2:05:35-end: Closing comments!  Hilariously, we talk about doing a closing section with added reverb, utterly unaware that for some reason Jeff’s voice has been doubled during the podcast to a truly terrifying degree.  This is a thing we vow to resolve! (Well, not in the podcast, we don't. I’m vowing it right now, here in the show notes. See? Watch me vow!)

Okay, so this is a thing that is up on iTunes and our RSS feed, but is also the sort of thing we'd be more than happy for you to listen to below, if you want:

Wait, What? Ep. 145: Doublespeak

Again, our apologies for the delay and we will see you in another fortnight!  We thank you for listening and hope you enjoy.

Wait, What? Ep. 144: The "Ass" in "Assemble"

Fuck yes, Shaolin Cowboy.

Hey, so it's another installment of Wait, What?, and I think maybe this fortnightly thing is going to work out?  (Provided you don't abandon us in droves or something...)  Whereas our last installment was two hours and us whingeing on about the news, this one is two hours and is us whingeing about comics we've read.  Brilliant!

After the jump, Jeff makes some brilliantly incorrect statements about Shaolin Cowboy in service of a perfectly good theory, Graeme fills us in on the most successfully monetized fanfic since 50 Shades of Grey, and we do that thing about the first twenty-five issues of Avengers that would finally allow an old man like me to type 'smh' except I have no idea how to pluralize that. (Plus, guest appearances by two of the more important writers in the science fiction and fantasy genres.)  In short: show notes!

00:00-21:47: Greetings!  As I mentioned, last time was news, this time it’s weather. No, wait, comics, I mean comics! Jesus, I am rusty.  But this every other week thing has made us hungry to talk, let me tell you that.  For example, Graeme knows I’ve got this theory about the most recent four issue run of Geoff Darrow’s Shaolin Cowboy, so I, uh, I really go right into it. Seriously, if you thought the biggest problem with the podcast was Jeff didn’t start throwing around crazy theories in under the first minute, this is the fast-moving podcast for you. It’s very much a full spoiler conversation, as it’s impossible for me to talk about it without talking about the very end.  (Although looking at the first issue again, I see at least one helluva big hole in my theory….and after looking over the last three issues at once think my biggest argument for my theory is also, uh, not quite right.  So…cave canem, y’all!) 21:47-28:11:  The Fox #1 and #2, by Dean Haspiel and Mark Waid!  Not nearly as extensive a theory on Jeff’s part (no theory at all, in fact, just his usual irresponsible opinions) but that means that Graeme gets more than a word in edgewise, thank goodness. 28:11-33:11: The comparisons between Dean Haspiel and Mike Allred lends itself well to Graeme weighing in on Don Slott and Mike Allred’s Silver Surfer.  Also covered: we discuss Steve Englehart’s Silver Surfer... because it is Steve Englehart and because it is our heart. 33:11-53:59:  Exactly five minutes later (exactly!) we end up discussing the Star Trek photonovel, Strange New Worlds, assembled by John Byrne. Somewhere in there, my voice picks up a faint echo, not unlike one of the quasi-omnipotent aliens from the first series?  And then the dogs go cuh-razy? And we discuss how to best be a comic store clerk and not end up in hell?  And Jeff does the best imitation he probably has ever done?  And we talk about how John Byrne’s financial affairs, like that’s even a thing we might know anything about?  So....a little bit of something for everyone?  Or maybe a whole bunch of nothing for someone?  You make the call! 53:59-57:11: Graeme asks Jeff what he thinks about the Joe Casey Captain Victory news.  Jeff, as it turns out, knows nothing about it.  We talk about it super-briefly (because what is there to say, apart from sweet mother of god, that art team!) and then… 57:11-1:01:47: Graeme talks about a bit about what he’s read recently, including the first Constantine trade by Ray Fawkes, Jeff Lemire and Renato Guedes, the second and third Justice League Dark trades by Jeff Lemire, Mikel Janin, and Graham Nolan. 1:01:47-1:22:41: Thanks to the holiday generosity of Whatnaut Matt Terl, Jeff got a free one month sub to Marvel Unlimited, the digital all-you-can eat service offered by Marvel.  Our discussion of it is perhaps inextricably intertwined with  our thoughts about stuff — to be more speciific, Peter Bagge’s brilliant The Death of the Age of Stuff  — the digital economy, why audio never goes viral,  and other things  like Christploitation, The Power of Warlock, The Incredible Hulk, the last thing Jeff will think of before he dies (which hopefully is not the perfect seque into…) 1:22:41-1:27:48:  The first twenty-five issues of Avengers! Graeme and Jeff are endeavoring to read the first 300 issues this year and talk about them:  good luck on that one, since (a) our disagreements start from literally the first issue, and (b) if there are more stretches like that first twenty-five issues, then…whew. Anyway, in there Graeme starts cutting out a little bit so we have… 1:27:48-1:28:10: INTERMISSION ONE! Man, I kind of missed these.  I really have to rope Graeme into doing more music for the show. 1:28:10-2:06:45: And we’re back!  And Graeme’s not cutting out anymore! And Jeff no longer sounds like one of those omnipotent threats from the first series of Star Trek!  Yay, technology!!  Technology can’t help where the first twenty-five issues of Avengers are concerned, though: so we have to talk about their slapdash charms (or pseudo-charms, to be honest).  Of particular interest: Stan Lee’s handling of Captain America, the difference between the original team and the new team, celebrity fan letters,

the world’s worst person, terrifying comic ads,

the origin of the mighty Marvel subplot, early continuity, and much, much more. 2:06:45-2:08:57: Penultimately, Graeme has some breaking news (at the time of recording) about Agents of SHIELD and Deathlok. You can actually hear Jeff’s ambivalence about this news manifest itself as a low sonic hum. 2:08:57-end:  Closing comments! Remember to come back in two weeks!

Aaaaaaand...scene.

This sucker is already up on iTunes and our RSS feed, but it is also the kind of thing we'd like to make available for you here:

http://theworkingdraft.com/media/podcasts/WaitWhat144.mp3

As always, your thoughts and comments are appreciated and obsessed over to an inordinate degree!  We hope you enjoy and, of course, thank you for listening!

Wait, What? Ep. 122: Capespaces

From Bandette #4 by Paul Tobin and Colleen Coover. It's pretty damn delightful.

Hey, everyone!  Next week is a skip week!  Do you hear me? SKIP WEEK.

Show notes?  Oh yes, there are certainly show notes. RIGHT AFTER THE JUMP.

(BECAUSE I LIKE ALL CAPS, THAT'S WHY.)

0:00-3:08:  Welcome to the opening!  Topics include: Internet woe explanations; sexy talk; waffles; beard pics; etc. 3:08-4:35: And right off the bat we have a potential conundrum -- when it comes to the week's books, we are woefully under read.  What to do? What to discuss?  Graeme confesses to reading Moranthology by Caitlin Moran and rereading the awesome Marvel Comics: The Untold Story by Sean Howe. Graeme also gives Jeff the biggest opening for a joke comic book title ever and Jeff gets paralyzed with the possibilities. 4:35-10:05: So we talk about Age of Ultron #6. Dont't worry, it's only for five minutes.  No, really.  We set a timer. 10:05-31:21:  Don't pay attention to these time codes.  It really was five minutes and when the timer went off we were already talking about the, um, Ultron to Age of Ultron's Vision:  The "Days of Future Past" storyline by Claremont and Byrne from Uncanny X-Men.  We consider it kosher to continue talking about that piece past the timer.  Does it hold up?  Was it really good to begin with?  Discuss. Also covered:  The X-Men Chronicles; that one issue of Uncanny X-Men with Captain America and Black Widow on the cover; Chris Claremont and his greedy delight; John Byrne and "drawing right"; the great twitter account @JohnByrneSays, Who's Who in the DC Universe; and more. 31:21-45:53: Jeff's out of blue question for Graeme: Top Five Comic Book Capes. (Jeff swears he didn't bring up this topic just to bitch about the wasted potential that is Todd McFarlane's Spawn). Also discussed: The Vision; Freak Flags; Steve Ditko; more stuff. Come for the cape references, stay for the game of "The Blind Leading The Blind" with regards to Spawn publication schedules and collaborators. 45:53-1:04:59: And in part two of "The Blind Leading The Blind": Jeff tries his best to explain "Moe" while describing the very odd concoction that is Stan Lee and Hiroyuki Takei's Ultimo. 1:04:59-1:05:21: Intermission One. 1:05:21-1:21:18: And we're back, with Graeme still suffering PTSD from reading Stormwatch #19.  It leads into a bit of what was being discussed earlier -- what changes in a creator's work as they age that makes them less palatable even as they retain everything that's identifiably them?  And, conversely, creators who still had all of it even as they got older?  Don't ask about those odd faux-Frink noises made by Jeff -- he still can't figure out why he made them. 1:21:18-1:22:04:  And then, just when you expect it least:  we answer questions from Whatnauts posed to us back in December of last year!  Yes! Woo! Got your nose! 1:22:04-1:29:10: Miguel Corti on December 6th, 2012 at 11:00 pm asked: "What current artists are the best at comics storytelling? I don’t mean the best illustrators or the best frozen pose/cover artists, I mean, from panel to panel, who can carry the story, draw your eyes across the page, and not interfere with the story being told? It seems to me that comics are blessed with many a good illustrator, but there aren’t many competent cartoonists. Is this the fault of the artist or the writers who don’t know how to script for them?" Mentioned by us:  Chris Samnee, Al Ewing, Avengers Assemble (the Age of Ultron issue), Jackson Guice, and others. 1:29:10-1:34:04:  Joel Greenlee on December 7th, 2012 at 7:08 am said:  I was wondering if you guys have read either of Harvey Pekar’s final books, “Not the Israel my parents promised me” or “Harvey Pekar’s Cleveland” I think they’re great, but I’m a lifelong Harvey fan a Clevelander as well. Could I get some non-homer perspective from you guys on the books if you’ve read them? Discussed: Harvey Pekar, Alan Moore, R. Crumb, Gary Dumm, Joe Zabel.  Not mentioned: Paul Giamatti and Hope Davis, although they were great. 1:34:04-2:04:04:  Matt Miller on December 7th, 2012 at 9:47 am said:  By what rationale does Jeff continue to buy DC Comics? Under the new management structure, hasn’t DC proven itself to be Marvel’s equal (at least) in lack of respect for creator rights, poor retailer relations and overall creative bankruptcy? Discussed: DC, Vertigo, Injustice: Gods Among Us, Marvel, Stephen Bissette, a terrifying number of indie publishers, Monkeybrain, Double Barrel, The Best of Milligan and McCarthy, Bandette, and the super-strong slate of Eisner nominations. 2:04:04-end:  Closing comments!  Skip week imminent!  Shortened engagement to follow! The Joker's daughter! Nixon! Thank you and good night!

...

Yeah, I kind of went out in a blaze of exclamation points at the end there, didn't I?  Well, that's what happens when a vacation looms, I guess.

Anyway, I haven't seen this one on iTunes yet which has me a little bit worried but, eh, it's been working pretty great for us so far...so maybe you'll see it sooner rather than later?

But either way, you have full unfettered access to the episode below.  See, really?  Look!

Wait, What? Ep. 122: Capespaces

As always, we hope you enjoy and thanks for listening!

Wait, What? Ep. 118: Skypenet Techpocalypse

Why, yes, Stevie Wonder performing Superstition on Sesame Street is indeed relevant to this week's podcast, thanks for asking!

After the jump, somewhat hasty show notes for our somewhat hasty episode (less than two hours?  What has happened to us?)

Yeah, so it's funny.  Recently, we got an incredibly encouraging and generous email from a listener who was, unfortunately, fed up with listening to Graeme and I stumble about, complaining and crying out, whenever a tech problem popped up.  As a result, we made a promise to edit all that shit right out and do our best to master the arcane powers that control whether or not we're able to podcast.

And then this podcast happened.  To which I can only say:  We tried, generous Whatnaut, we tried.

And with that foreboding note:

0:00-11:37:  "Something horrible is going to happen."  Oh, if only we had known… Despite promising all of you (though some of you more than others), we would avoid tech problems talk, this episode was a bit of a challenge for us (as you'll regrettably hear).  Anyway, our brief bit of non-comic talk at the opening includes the nature of consciousness, Stevie Wonder on Sesame Street (see?  Relevant!), the stomach flu (a discussion of which you might find it a relief the volume drops out once or twice), appendicitis, and finally... 11:37-30:23:  Comics talk!  We have two weeks of comics news and comics to catch up on--let's start by talking about the first two issues of Age of Ultron. We are not down with it, but!  Jeff is enjoying both All-New X-Men and Uncanny X-Men by Brian Bendis. We talk about all of these things, in more-or-less a random order. 30:23-1:06:57:  Oh, and Doctor Timebomb asked us about doing  a post-mortem on Before Watchmen.  Jeff's refused to read them so he's not much help, but Graeme….well, Graeme is a different story altogether.  Operation: Blow Jeff's Mind is in full effect!  Oh, and we also come up with one of the best marketing campaigns of all time.  You're welcome, DC. 1:06:57-1:12:15:  And then for whatever reason, Jeff ends up talking about Bendis again.  Go figure. 1:12:15-1:17:35: Graeme and I speculate on what amazing seemingly passive-aggressive battle is being waged between Marc-Oliver Frisch and Heidi and/or the comics blogosphere at large over the monthly DC sales analysis over at The Beat.  Then, it's time for our moment of admiration for House to Astonish, and that leads us to: 1:17:35-1:17:57: Intermission #1! (Oh, stinger music, how I've missed you.) 1:17:58-1:31:22: Marvel 700 on Comixology!  (Alternate title:  Jeff's confession of self-abasement!)  We try to wrap our brain around what was intended with the giveaway, what was achieved, and Jeff links once again to Todd Allen's article about digital comics codes in which Jeff is quoted. Because, yeah, that's the way Jeff rolls. 1:31:22-1:36:36: Another way Jeff rolls?  With The Hulk.  With an eye toward maybe putting together a Tumblr that bites its style and charm from the FF 365 Tumblr, Jeff's been reading a lot of early issues of the Hulk.  And Giant Man.  Oh, god.  Giant Man.  Lord, does he want to tell you about Giant Man.  But then…techpocalypse! 1:36:36-1:42:25: Okay, here we are trying not make a big thing out of twenty minutes of "WTF just happened there, it was like we were split into gatefold covers and then our goofy marketing initiative name was withdrawn…" and instead we just apologize at get back to Jeff trash-talking Giant Man and what he'd really intended to talk about with Graeme:  how long it really takes for characters to click. And then…. 1:42:25-end: Techpocalypse Two! (I blame the number of times I said the name "Rick Jones" over and over right before the disconnect.) So we are reduced to me on Skype calling Graeme on his cell phone, having to apologize to everyone and then just sign off.  Because we have no idea what the hell to do.  So we're putting out this call to our more tech savvy listeners:  if you happen to know who has put us under an evil curse? If you could talk to them and get them to remove it, we would be grateful.

Episode will be on iTunes shortly, unless that email I got a few weeks ago talking about iTunes' shift in protocol has screwed us over entirely, in which case, uh, yeah.  Enjoy it while you can below, because the fiery post-tech world of the Age of Ultron has turned against us!

Wait, What? Ep. 118: Skypenet Techpocalypse!

Next week:  Hopefully more of the good stuff and less of the bad stuff!

Wait, What? Ep. 105: Ringing Endorsements

Brandon Graham's Multiple Warheads: Worth the Trip

Safe and dry on the left coast, we are willing and able to provide you with two-plus hours of distraction.  At no point in the following podcast do we mention the extensive rat population of New York clawing their way to higher ground even if it means going through dark, electricity free apartments and the helpless population contained therein to do so.  Not once!

So...join us after the jump and help us think happy thoughts, won't you?

Show notes?  Why yes, we do have show notes, now that you mention it...

1:01-4:46: Greetings!  Welcome to the hundred and fifth episode of the world's worst conspiracy. A brief bit of culinary discussion before we gear up to our four color topics of discussion.  Although this is the our first-ever "book club" podcast where we sit down and finally discuss in full Sean Howe's remarkable Marvel Comics: The Untold Story, we also thought we should give you some reviews and news analysis, too.

4:46-31:19:  First up:  the gorgeousness of Brandon Graham's Multiple Warheads.  Graeme and Jeff both read it, both dug it, and both dig into it for your entertainment, edification and (probably) exasperation.  There's also a bit of discussion about the latest issue of Prophet for comparison/contrast.

31:19-31:40:  Intermission Uno.

31:40-1:07:04:  More comics! We're a mite divided on Batman, Inc. #4 and Flash #13. Also, under Graeme's microscope:  Superman #13. Talon #1, Ghost #1, Captain America #19, The Hive by Charles Burns, and, in passing, Superman: Earth One, Vol. 2.

1:07:04-1:07:26: Intermission dos!

1:07:26-1:08:23: Incidentally, though this episode is debuting just before Halloween, we didn't record this in costume or anything...though Graeme does start us off with a very good HAL imitation.  Too bad they haven't invented the "Sexy HAL 9000 costume" for Halloween...yet.

1:08:23-1:56:55:  Sean Howe's Marvel Comics: The Untold Story.  Graeme and Jeff praise it; we kvetch about it; we both whole-heartedly recommend it and have a variety of caveats to issue.  It's the first episode of the Wait, What? Book Club and we invite you to give the book a read and us a listen.

1:56:55-2:02:23:  Tech corner:  Curious about what model of Kindle Graeme is using?  Jeff is!

2:02:23-end:  Closing comments: In case you wanted a section of the podcast that's all about what to get Jeff for his birthday, listen to this section first!

And...there you have it.  Quality talk about (some quality comics and comics-related nonfiction).  This week we're skipping recording so if you fell behind and want to catch up, you've got two weeks to do so.

And if you want to listen to this podcast I just finished notating the heck out of...well, you have probably seen it staring at you from the corner of the block of Haddonfield, iTunes Illinois.

But if not, I believe you will find out it lying just below the Doyle house window below...waiting for you now:

Wait, What? Ep. 105: Ringing Endorsements

May everyone everywhere stay dry, healthy, and safe, and have a fine ol' All Hallow's and All Saint's!

“…There Must be A Creature Superior To Man.” COMICS! Sometimes Hasslein Was RIGHT!

This isn't actually a post about comics it’s a post about the posts about comics which are to follow. See, I had an idea…oh dear. Click “More” to enter…The Planet of the Nostalgics! (Art by George Tuska)

For a while now I've wanted to write about the experience of comics reading during the ‘70s. I thought this might be of interest as it is now 2012 and some of your parents weren't even born then. I thought it might be of even more interest as, and the keener minds among you will have already noted this, I live in Great Britain. Which isn't that Great but it is certainly called Britain. Alack, alas, I had a great deal of difficulty figuring out where to start, I’ll spare you all the hemming and hawing and just say that I think I've found a solution…

Yeah, stick a flag in it, pal. That'll solve everything! (Art by George Tuska)

What I’m intending (intentions!) to do is look at the entire run of PLANET OF THE APES WEEKLY published by Marvel Comics International Limited. Well, issues #1 (Oct 1974) to #123 (Feb 1977). (Following this it was folded into THE MIGHTY WORLD OF MARVEL.) By having a focal point I am hoping that I will be able to touch on a multitude of areas of historical comical periodical interest. Not only will I be moaning about George Tuska’s inert art but I’ll hopefully go wider and give some idea of the ‘70s via many words on the content, availability, price and format of comics. Most of the words will concern content, I imagine. Largely though I will be hammering home the important sociological point that using comics as surrogate parents ends up with your kid turning out like me. This is certainly what I would call a warning from History.

A really quite significant moment for Tiny me was when Taylor (AKA "Tay-LAH!") just said, "Aw f*** it and f*** you all too!" in the most final of manners. (Art by Alfredo Alcala)

I suppose I could claim some measure of relevance as POTA is back on the radar in the form of the current licensed comic from Boom!, so there’s that and also the UK comic had, aside from the early issues, back ups that maybe(?) represent some of the more varied and perhaps under loved strips Marvel published. I was going to say overlooked but since the advent of the Internet I guess there’s no such thing as an overlooked strip anymore. (Personally I think Atlas’ POLICE ACTION FEATURING LOMAX should get more attention. Get right on that, Internet!). Should worse comes to worse (i.e. I remain true to form) and I never actually say anything of interest or relevance about the ‘70s I can promise you that we will at least have covered a great many creators and bizarre series. Some of which you may never have heard of! (Gullivar Jones, anyone?) I think you’ll like it! And if you don’t I imagine you’ll tell me about it! Possibly using inventive invective. The kind that back in the ‘70s you would have had to deliver in person and probably got a pop on the nose for your troubles. Because things were different back then. They were better. (Of course they weren’t, they were Godawful but for a second you thought I was serious and I, personally, found that second hilarious. Oh, your face!).

Taylor (AKA "Bright-Eyes") was my first hero what with his smoking in a pressurised oxygen environment, heroin addiction and misanthropic attitude. The ideal role model for four year olds everywhere! (Art by George Tuska)

(Oh, who am I kidding, my actual reasons for this are selfish as a bloke at work lent me these comics about two years ago and I imagine he’ll be wanting them back soon. So if I have to tell you lot about them I guess I’ll have to read ‘em!)

I’ll still be posting about other stuff but this should be a nice regular thing I can try and build some consistency around. It's a little bit ambitious but I'll see how I go with it. Trust me, no one will lose out because If all else fails I can just post stuff like this:

EXCELSIOR!

So why not join us next time on Planet of the Nostalgics (aside from the fact it will be sh**) when we hear: "APES! Apes On Horseback!" or PLANET OF THE APES WEEKLY #1 (w/e Oct. 26th 1974) In which I say, “Look, I’m sure George Tuska was a boon to the lives of all who knew him BUT…”

"RAK TAC TAC TAC TAC." COMICS! Sometimes They Do It All Over Again!

So I went to the library and got this here book out. As is customary on my planet I read it and , as is inadvisable in my experience, I wrote this. Evasions, justifications, terrible writing, pointless digressions and probably unintended offence are probably in the offing. Why not join me as we look again at Marvel's first superhero team!

Reed Was beginning To Suspect His Friends Would Never Share His Pleasure In His Colonoscopy Results.

Readers ripe for a rucking will have noticed that once again I am discussing a Marvel book featuring characters created by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby, despite the fact that I said I wouldn't do so until they were credited on such works. That’s okay because what I find I really enjoy in my declining years is explaining myself to you. So I’m in the library (no, the Tories haven’t turned them all into Pay And Display Car Parks yet) and the first thing I do is head for the Kids section; not because I am a predatory sex criminal but because I am accompanied by my 6 year old son, okay? The second thing I do is spot BATMAN: THE KILLING JOKE in-between TERRY THE TOASTER WHO FLEW and DEAD DOGS IN HAPPYLAND.

"I'll send you a love letter straight from my heart, f*****."

So, the third thing I do is move B:TKJ to the Graphic Novel shelf because we don’t want an unfortunate court case involving Alan Moore, particularly as his Defence will have to call Dan Didio, and, as we have all seen this weekend, Dan Didio is the kind of man who writes Alan Moore the kind of ‘love letters’ called in evidence after the recipient has been dredged up from a canal with hearts carved into his face. While I am there single-handedly, with no thought of thanks or monetary recompense, averting another comics crisis my son strongly suggests I read FANTASTIC FOUR: SEASON ONE because he recognizes the characters from his aged and decrepit father’s bedside reading table. Yes, I find bringing a kid into the mix makes judgemental people back off real quick, I'm not proud of it but anyway...

FANTASTIC FOUR: SEASON ONE Artist David Marquez Writer Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa Colour Artist Guru E-FX Letterer VC’s Clayton Cowles Marvel, $24.99 (2011) The Fantastic Four created by Jack Kirby and Stan Lee

Not on this cover, "Created by Jack Kirby And Stan Lee" (See comments below which have prompted me to come back and insert this:) And by the above I do NOT mean that it SHOULD be on the cover I am just taking the rise out of the fact that the "Created By" credit appears nowhere in the book including the cover. I would just like "Created By Jack Kirby and Stan Lee" to appear IN the book and, yes, the CREDITS page would be just peachy. Apologies for any miscommunication. Nice to see people are thinking about the issue though!

I guess the origins of this book can be traced to Marvel wanting Original Graphic Novels so new readers can just pick them up and get the relevant skinny on the main MARVEL characters before running back to the LCS to buy all those Marvel comics no one is currently reading. It's a noble aim and one not entirely dissimilar to the origins of the original FANTASTIC FOUR (FF). According to published interviews with both creators neither Stan Lee nor Jack Kirby could agree on who came up with the FF, which is a real shocker right there. What is certain is that come up with the concept they did. It's pretty clear that the reason was the need for sales, a change of direction was required and DC/National seemed to be doing okay with those superfolks comics so maybe Marvel should follow suit toot suite? It was worth a pop.

Marvel's product pre-FF was getting pretty stale comprising as it did of  tales of such mind frying creations as “Taramasilata - The Mop That Frittered Its Youth Away like A Man!” (originally presented in Tales Of Shameful Evasion #630, Atlas Comics (1960)) These would usually involve a devastating rampage of destruction by said creature before a man who smoked a pipe stumbled on the fact that the creature was allergic to grass and then his girlfriend apologised on behalf of all womankind for being a nag. Sometimes a man who smoked grass would discover it was allergic to pipes, but he would be shot like the deadbeat he was by a cop and the world would die because it was weak. Steve Ditko usually drew those. Before anyone starts roasting my chestnuts over an open fire let me just point out that while the preceding is factually inaccurate I think it is accurate in spirit. These stories were formulaic and any fun was in the monster design and Kirby’s work seems sporting but hardly inspired. So formulaic in fact that these things could easily be believed to be self-replicating.

AMAZING ADVENTURES #6 (Nov,1961) by Jack Kirby & Stan Lee

In 1960/61 Kirby would be allowed to be as inspired as he liked when it looked like the doors of Atlas would close forever and Stan Lee importuned him for his aid in the creation of concepts which would revive interest in the company’s products.  Jack Kirby did not disappoint. Or Stan Lee would not disappoint when he came up with the concept of THE FANTASTIC FOUR and asked Jack Kirby to draw it.  Depends, really doesn't it? Anyway, FF #1 is clearly a transitional comic. It’s more monstercentric than superheroic. In fact the four themselves seem to have become monsters rather than heroes. The public react with fear and loathing at their appearance until the FF prove themselves by killing even bigger monsters than they are perceived to be. And those even bigger monsters look suspiciously like the very monsters the FF are intended to replace. Yes, it would be easy to get all post-modern about FF#1 here, but I'll spare you.

FANTASTIC FOUR #1 (Nov, 1961) by Jack Kirby & Stan Lee

Marvel's comics of this era are often applauded for having a greater sense of realism than the opposition's comics, and while this is because it wouldn't be that hard to do FF is actually quite daring in its characterisation. None of the four are particularly likable and after the crash they just get positively junk yard dog on each other. It is quite a stressful situation though, I’d probably react badly too.  The rawness of the emotions on display and the attendant unpleasant characterisations don't last long though. The four soon settle down in subsequent issues to become the reassuringly pleasant people we all spent so much money following in comics. The whole thing has an edgy, jarring quality and is all obviously a bit slapped together from the cover on in (Roy Thomas probably still wakes up sweating wondering where that rope binding Reed on the cover came from). But it worked enough for the seeds of greatness it contained to bloom fruit sweet enough to keep uncreative corporate employees drawing a salary for lo these many decades.

You'd think retelling this origin story (and also #4) some several decades on would result in a far superior experience but that isn't the case. There's nothing wrong with this book I guess, none of it is actively awful or offensive. But, again, none of it is inspired or amazing. It's innocuous, inoffensive stuff. It's there to be read but beyond that it doesn't inspire any strong feelings either way. Which is a bit of a problem when the whole purpose of the thing is to inspire you to buy more of these things, these comics. Aguirre Sacasa is a decent writer but here he appears hampered by the editorial dictates the book seems to embody. Now, I am not privy to the inner workings of Marvel editorial policy (I kept laughing so they threw me out) but I can reverse engineer the intentions behind this book, I think. Firstly it's called "SEASON ONE" which has obviously been borrowed from the world of TV without any thought. This book isn't a season, it's more of a pilot; the length tells you that. The contents also don't want you to have to think too hard, they are also all too happy to flatter the audience by referencing Proust but also to console them that there's no elitism here by chucking in J J Abrams and Zack Snyder as well.  As it is now 2012 the book goes out of its way to avoid some of the dumber elements of early FF (hence skipping #2 and #3) but can't avoid the core daftness of the concept. After all, it will probably never be possible to adequately explain why an intelligent man would crew his experimental space craft with his fiancé, her narcissistic brother and a school chum noted for his football skills. (Actually it is possible: it was a comic from 1961!) The characters get a TV update too, most notably Sue and Johnny. Overall the characters are blander than their initial appearance, but in an exciting reversal of gender stereotyping Sue Storm is actually presented as the most capable and effective member of the team. However, she is still a lady so she still has to spend a lot of time worrying about whether Reed will marry her or not. You can't fight genetics! Johnny, however, is just played as a straight-up man-slut so I guess Reed will have his extendable hands full finding cures for all the STDs fizzing inside his future brother-in-law.

Art-wise the whole thing is pretty tepid. There are some scenes of action which are less memorable than , um, that thing, er, I forgot and the talky scenes aren't electrifying either. Judging by the scant sketches in the back of the book Marquez is a talented artist but there's a difference between that and a talented comic book artist. Mostly Marquez struggles to be Steve McNiven but sometimes stumbles into the Liefeld-ian. There’s really nothing interesting about the storytelling, I'm afraid. It’s pretty basic, which means it works fine but doesn't play to the strengths of the medium. Which it should. You're trying to hook people on comics here, Marvel; so it might be an idea to show them what comics can do rather than attempt to replicate the readily available and cheaper experience of watching a TV show. Just a thought. On the whole, yes, it's just too TV for me. As the case of most TV while I am forced to recognise I am not the target demographic I also have to recognise that it is all competently done; I don't feel the need to seek out any more of it but neither do I feel inclined to harm things smaller than myself as a result of having experienced it. I guess that makes it OKAY!

FANTASTIC FOUR ANNUAL #1 (1963) by Jack Kirby & Stan Lee

The totally okay OGN portion is followed by a reprint of the first issue of Jonathan Hickman’s run on the regular FANTASTIC FOUR title. This particular issue is okay as well; packed with ideas and possibilities. But that’s usually the case with first issues of modern day runs called things like “stellar”, “landmark”,"pipe cladding” and “skirt raising” by people who are professional reviewers.  It is hilariously concerned that you get that it's about Fathers And Sons, really hilariously so. So much so in fact that it becomes the comic book equivalent of visiting a Fun Pub on a Saturday afternoon; watching all the workaholic Dads wondering what to do with the freedom sapping alien which shares their face as it sullenly sips on stale Fanta next to them. Oh, calm down, I’m just having some fun, I’m sure Jonathan Hickman’s “bum tickling” run on FANTASTIC FOUR is fine. What isn't fine is that Jonathan Hickman’s name is the only name that appears on this reprinted issue.  I’m not a Jonathan Hickman follower but I’m pretty sure that he doesn't write, pencil, ink, colour, letter and edit every issue of his “cat hazing” run on FANTASTIC FOUR.  Really, Marvel, you’re like a recalcitrant child and it's unbecoming in one so old. Sort it out, eh?

And then I was off to pick up some milk'n'bread before the shops shut. Those Sunday hours!

Hope you all had a good weekend with some COMICS!!!

Late, but still here, Hibbs sorta is in 5/9

Staggeringly, I've still barely read any comics this week, due to a confluence of many things, but maybe fewer means more in depth? Let's see below the jump!

Part of it, for me is being hit by crossover burnout hard this week -- 3 different "Night of the Owls" tie-ins, which, basically, all have the exact same story, three from AvX (more on that later, I suspect), and two parts of "The Culling", which, surprisingly, isn't leaving the involved books cancelled. Ugh.

(I think I've mentioned before that I kind of have to get through the shittier books first each week, before I "let" myself read the presumed good ones, because otherwise I'd never read much of the superhero books, and, then, wouldn't be able to do my job as effectively.)

There's only two things I read that I feel like saying anything about this week.... but first, a late-ish movie review!

AVENGERS:  because we're in the last week's of elementary school right now in San Francisco, things are crazy hectic with performances and other end-of-the-year stuff, so I didn't get to see this until this weekend. On the upside, I got to see it with two eight-year-old boys, which was kind of awesome in and of itself.

I don't think it's any real surprise after the film has made One. Billion. Dollars!....but, jeez, what a terrific film! I walked out thinking "Oooh, I want to see that again", and I've already had one customer in the store tell me he's seen it six times so far. Yikes!

What I think I like the most about it is just how strong the script was, giving every character plausible character arcs, a place to drive the greater plot, and a moment to shine with how awesome the characters are. That's a crazy hard trick.

It also worked remarkably well as a Classic Marvel Comic Book -- it's absolutely a continuation of various threads from other movies, but if you never saw those movies, everything you might need to know is clearly spelled out in both dialogue and action -- worked better, in fact, most current Marvel comics do in that regard!

Honestly, most big budget blockbuster movies are usually ultimately shallow affairs more about spectacle, but Avengers very nicely ties all of it's set pieces to individual character's arcs.

The action is big and crazy and maybe even, post 9/11, a bit disturbing, but it's also very well shot and staged, and things are almost always clear as a bell of what is happening. It also showed just how terrifying super-humans can be as engines of utter destruction.

I really think this might just be the most perfect super-hero film ever made -- it has as much brains as brawn, and it juggled a gargantuan cast of characters with the utmost of aplomb.

There were a few things I didn't really like -- I thought Scarlett Johanson was really kind of one-note/look through the whole thing. And I don't believe her as a Russian even one bit. I also thought the new Cap mask looked pretty bad. I thought Hawkeye's arc was weakest (though it tried really hard to find a way to make "real" Hawkeye's "reformed villain" origins work in movie continuity), and took him off the board for too much of the film. I thought the death in the movie was kind of uneeded, and the "hey, we got blood all over your nostalgia!" was a bit off-note for the rest of the film. But, hell, those are all just quibbles really. None of that could possibly take away from my consensus that this was an EXCELLENT movie!

Joss Whedon should now be allowed to do whatever he wants, however he wants (though that's been true for years), for doing such a loving job in bringing to the screen such a remarkable version of Stan Lee & Jack Kirby's (among many others) creations.

Just two comics I want to talk about, as I noted, so here we go:

TRIO #1: Here's one of those weird riddles of comics and ownership and all of that. John Byrne is well beloved for his run on FANTASTIC FOUR, a run which certainly couldn't have been without Lee & Kirby before him. Byrne doesn't/can't work at Marvel any more, but many people seem to want nostalgia from their superhero works, and they're sad he can't draw FF any longer. Ah ah, but what if Byrne instead came up with something that was remarkably LIKE FF, but wasn't legally-actionably the same, huh? There's a brute made out of stone, and a character that both stretches and turns invisible, and they're fighting some sort of a sea ruler and... well it hits every note just right, but it's just enough different. I'd almost say it's like "What if Paul McCartney, rather than Neil Innes, formed The Rutles?"

So if you want to read Byrne doing the almost-FF (and, if you like action adventure "classic" Marvel-style comics, yeah you probably do), then this is certainly the thing for you. I thought it was pretty GOOD.

WALKING DEAD #97: I'm not afraid to say that I think TWD has been a smidge off its game the last few months, with the super-crazy-hyper competent ambassador from the big settlement really feeling kind of out of place, but now that we're starting to think about starting to work through a "Big Bad" again in the form of Negan, I've lost most of my hesitation. This arc is looking as strong as the book has ever been, which is great because this is the first issue that will come after the second compendium ends (and/or v16), and is a great place to jump on to the monthly reading experience. This was VERY GOOD.

OK, time to go get ready for the NEXT week's worth of comics...

What did YOU think?

-B

"...It's not for free and it doesn't come easy. It's AMERICA!" Comics? I'm still reading 'em!

For pretty obvious reasons we don't celebrate Independence Day over here but you guys sure seem to. Just to show you that there are no hard feelings I read some nationalistic comics and wrote some words about them for y'all. Be nice if you picked up the phone sometime, America. I know you moved out but we still worry about you. Anyway it’s into the fray while the walls ran red, white and blue around me in a patriotic spray:

CAPTAIN AMERICA 70th ANNIVERSARY MAGAZINE: This is a magazine sized doohickey that’s big and floppy like my English teeth, the contents of which provoked the following responses which I am going to share with you despite your flagrant disinterest but it’s either this or I go spend some time with my family. And they don’t like it when I do that. So…

CAPTAIN AMERICA COMICS #1 (1941).

“Meet Captain America” by Joe Simon/JACK KIRBY(w) and (a)

America may be praying for peace but she's also preparing for war! In dark days like these every man and woman will be called upon to do their bit and Steve Rogers is about to find out he's going to be able to do more than most! It all starts here, Effendi!

Yes, this is the savage and mental solid Gold classic that started it all! Like most Golden Age comics reading it is like having your mind hijacked by the hallucinatory visions of an angry man who has drunk too much cough syrup. It’s rough and tumble stuff, obviously taking most of its storytelling cues from the still novel phenomenon of the cinema. If we take the birth of super comics to be June 1938 (Action Comics#1) this places Simon & Kirby’s creation at roughly the third year of the genre’s existence and so it’s unsurprising that this is pretty much like any other comic of the period but there’s clearly something special going on here as 70 years later someone’s spent the GDP of Ireland bringing the character to the very silver screen which so obviously inspired his creators: Joe Simon & JACK KIRBY. Oh, yeah, it’s: EXCELLENT!

“Captain America’s Tales of Suspense”: Being one of those text pieces I can’t actually wade through that are all like: “…But in issue 160 Cap almost met his match in the form of Terry “Eggs” Benedict who, when subjected to a concerted burst of ennui, became The Unsteady Hand Dangler. Jack Kirby left the day after. Pay no attention to that last sentence. There is no deeper meaning. There never was a Jack Kirby. We certainly don’t owe him or his heirs any money. We have lawyers. People disappear all the time. With issue 161 Cap found romance in the form of a peach from another dimension…” Some people like that sort of thing.

AVENGERS (Vol.1) #4 (1964)

“Captain America Joins The Avengers!” by Stan Lee/JACK KIRBY(w), JACK KIRBY/George Roussos(a) and Artie Simek(l)

Freshly thrust from his frozen tomb Captain America is bucking for a ruckus! The strange and swinging new world into which he has been chucked is only too happy to provide! Bonus: Namor’s oddly sexual noggin!

Sure, everyone remembers the tale of Cap’s astonishingly unbelievable resurrection but few people remember the same tale’s revelation that the gorgon of myth and legend was in fact a dressing gown sporting sentient stick of celery from beyond the stars. Funny that. It’s a pretty rocky ride from the modern perspective but on the plus side more happens in its pages than 96 years of NEW AVENGERS and the characters don’t all talk like secure unit patients.

My favourite panel this time through, for I and this tale are friends of old, was on page 10 on the top right. Steve Rogers sits on his hotel bed removing his boots while staring raptly at the TV and uttering: “I wonder if the youngsters of today, who’ve grown up with it, realise what a truly wonderful thing television is…” Judging by the state of the Marvel Architects output I think you can rest assured, Cap, that that is entirely the case. If TVs were made of meat it’s hard not to believe certain people wouldn’t be humping theirs as we speak. Let your mind rest easy on that score, Cap.

At this point JACK KIRBY is pretty much the master of every comic technique existent. He has been at it so long he is growing staples in his midriff but he isn’t about to rest though, no, he’s about to start pushing the form into whole new areas of hyperbolic bombast. That’s later though, so this is just (just!) another fine JACK KIRBY comic of the period which makes it VERY GOOD!

CAPTAIN AMERICA (Vol.1) #250 (1980)

“Cap For President!” by Roger Stern(w), John Byrne/Josef Rubinstein(a), George Roussos(c) and Jim Novak(l)

Will Cap give up being the Star Spangled Avenger in order to become the first kickboxing President of America?

Now say what you like about John Byrne (I’ll wait…okay? Feel better now?) but the guy can draw a perfectly entertaining comic. This is the one where someone suggests that Cap stand for President but he says (**SPOILER!**) “No”. It's very '80s because the characters spend a lot of time flapping their gums (so much so that one may be forgiven for wondering if they haven't been rubbing an illegal substance into them). I like the Stern/Rubinstein run on Cap (what was it #247-255?) a great deal but this is hardly representative of it. It’s only a brief run but it’s littered with Very Special Cap Moments like the one in #253 where an armed robber is cowed into handing over his gun to Cap solely via a stern talking to and a hard stare. It’s Cap-tatstic! Where as this one is just GOOD!

“Red, White and BRU” I REALLY like the title to this interview with Ed Brubaker. (Hey, if he wrote Iron Man we could have “Iron Bru!” That joke probably doesn’t travel well.) He claims to write the current Cap series. I’ve never heard of him but he sounds like the type who wears his hat indoors. I just glossed his interview but it seems like he lived on an army base like Bucky (Do you SEE! It was his DESTINY! He NEVER HAD A CHOICE!), enjoys TV shows, working for Marvel and is really looking forward to the movie. However, if little Ed Brubaker ever burst into the tent of a half-naked GI with life changing results he declines to say.  It’s good to be Ed Brubaker, I guess.

MARVEL FANFARE #18 (1985)

“Home Fires.” by Roger Stern/Frank Miller(w), Frank Miller/Josef Rubinstein(a), Glynis Wein(c) and Jim Novak(l)

No, you can’t say what you like about The Tank. My house, my rules. Love it or leave it, pal! Do you remember "Home Fires"? It’s the one where Cap discovers the hidden Evil in the heart of America: independent retailers. I kid you not. It can totally be read as Captain America versus a deranged Mr. Brian Hibbs.

It’s hilarious of course. But in the weird way of being totally hokey yet oddly persuasive that only The Tank can pull off. It left me laughing and yet profoundly moved by its strange message. Y’know If this guy ever does a propaganda comic the earth will shake and the Heavens will quail. It has to be noted that The Tank delivers a master class in narrative storytelling with page design and visual iconography that fair makes the pages hum with life and emotion. It is a beautiful and wondrous performance. In fact the final page is possibly my favourite Cap moment ever. Cap has entered a burning building to retrieve “her”. “LOOK!” cries a man with a pointing arm directing the readers’ eye to a panel which appears to be a pregnant woman carrying a burning piano. This is then revealed, via the magic of being able to effectively convey information to another human mind via the mechanism of marks on paper, to be the form of Cap himself bursting out of the panel borders triumphantly bearing Old Glory herself.

Every time I read this I find myself halfway to the recruiting office before I realise that due to my myopia I’m more of a danger to myself than any enemy, I am not that keen on killing, even less keen on being killed and I am also in fact not American before returning humbled but entertained to my life of sedentary nitpicking. It is a truly incredible comic by a truly incredible talent. He’s The Tank, deal with it, babycakes! Although later developments within the mind of The Tank lend this tale of Cap vs. libertarians a decidedly ironic cast the issue in and of itself can truly be said to be EXCELLENT!

“Flagbearers” is an illustrated text parade of those who have taken the role of Cap through the ages. It is by Sean T Collins, a living colossus who will be familiar to anyone whose brain has not been so sponged by alcohol and soft drugs that they can look at the list of Savage Critics contributors and recognise the letters of the alphabet when they are used to form names. It is therefore the best thing here not by JACK KIRBY or The Tank. I was particularly taken by the puntastic “Patriot Names”. The piece also contains a rare Frank Robbins picture of a man not sweating.

CAPTAIN AMERICA (Vol.3) #22 (1999)

“Sacrifice Play” by Mark Waid(w),Andy Kubert/Jesse Delperdang(a), Gregory Wright(c) and Todd Klein(l)

Captain America is the only thing standing between the utter destruction of Wakanda’s adamantium! Can he stop touching his shattered shield long enough to save the day?

Being the culmination of Mark Waid’s nigh interminable exploration of Cap’s surely unhealthy obsession with his shield. After several pages of Andy Kubert’s very nice but also very big pictures the two are reunited at last. It is very '90s in a '90s comic way but since Waid and Kubert are dependable chaps it still ends up being OKAY!

Both I, having read this magazine, and you, having read my insightful and coherent thoughts concerning said magazine, have, I think it would be fair to say reached some very definite conclusions about the nature of America,  the psycho geographical landscape of its people and the importance of The Dream to both. Thus there seems little need to make them explicit as this would serve only to cheapen the profundity of the conclusions we have reached.

Throughout the contents of this magazine though creators change and decades pass two things remain constant: Captain America and his devotion to The Dream. The Dream changes over time but always at its heart is Decency, the kind of decency perhaps embodied by fairly rewarding an old man for fashioning the dream life of millions and enriching the bank balance of all who followed in his footsteps. Yeah, well if nations can dream so can I, right?

Note: JACK KIRBY (Jacob Kurtzberg) was Comics made Flesh. He entered the world on August 28, 1917 and joined The Infinite on February 6, 1994. We dream his dreams still.