J_Smitty Gets it Together (6/19 Reviews!)

Still stinging with shame over his balky pull list J_Smitty gets it together, remembers his password and partially rights the ship.  

Wonder Woman #21

Azzarello / Chiang / Wilson

DC Comics $2.99

This issue heralds the return of Cliff Chiang and it’s not a moment too soon. Or, maybe it is too soon. Chiang will undoubtedly keep me on this read where I would have otherwise fallen off by now. Still, it’s not all doom and gloom. Azzarello feels to me as though he’s embracing a new supporting cast; largely leaving the gods (both G and demi) behind - or at least fallow – and moving in the direction of Kirby’s Fourth World “modern” pantheon. Orion seems to be a semi regular at this point and we get our first glimpse of New Genesis so we’re definitely trafficking in that vein.

Chiang is a lush stylist and among other gems here really lays on some impressive boom tube effects (though that may be a collaboration between himself and colorist Matt Wilson) and – as usual with Cliff – the EYES have it! Ah, see what I…anyway to the pretty!

Also of note, one character dies while defiantly chanting the lyrics to Millwall FC’s ode to hooliganism.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Millwall_F.C.#Supporters_and_hooliganism

Good job this year, Millwall, you lost to Wigan in the FA semis. Maybe (snicker) next year.

Conan the Barbarian #17

Wood / Gianfelice / Stewart

Dark Horse Comics $3.50

Conan’s bad acid trip continues in part two of three in The Nightmare of Shallows arc. A LOT happens in this so allow me to jump off a bit here.

After doing a brief run through of a fantasy version of his earlier imprisonment (Hint: It could be titled “How to Kill with Loose Masonry,”) Conan and Belit soldier on through their shared Yellow Lotus induced dream state.

Relaxing on a sedan chair in an air pocket of a sunken Khitai treasure ship (how cool is that, by the way?) Conan and Belit espouse their world views in a single exchange of dialogue:

Wood is at his best (for me) working through interpersonal dynamics. He has an ability to populate his characters with consistent viewpoints that don't just sound one note or as an echo of an overall writer’s voice. Belit’s presence throughout the series has put Conan on backfoot in an exploration of young love and how the immediacy, ferocity and depth of passion can be a simultaneously thrilling and blinding experience. Sure, it’s Romeo and Juliet dynamics but consider this:

In Conan’s savage history you get the sense that Belit was either the right woman at the wrong time (tragic, to be sure) or perhaps even more painfully the right woman at the right time. Wood is willing to travel that awkward road of hopes, weaknesses, fears and confusion in the midst of killing giant snakes and dropping acid.

For that brave dare alone, for allowing Conan’s new iteration a modicum of psychological flexibility, he should be lauded.

Davide Gianfelice works in the bold, minimal line style I enjoy for its representational flexibility (meaning it is recognizable and clear at any depth of scale) and despite the occasional tendency to oversexualize Belit (I preferred Cloonan’s weird Banshee) he is a VERY capable artist that works at a high level in what Dark Horse would do well to make their default “house style.”

Lastly, it would be CRIMINAL to undersell Dave Stewart’s coloring work. It delivers so much of the mood, sense of place and emotional context. The slightest bloom of a cheek as Conan and Belit embrace is a detail that is neither over or underplayed. Note perfect.

He is truly a super power in his world and a driving force of the Dark Horse look. If you need further evidence…

B.P.R.D. Hell on Earth # 108

Mignola & Arcudi / Campbell / Stewart

Dark Horse Comics $3.50

They say when you become a parent your whole life changes.

This…F#$%ing…Comic.

I’ve enjoyed the weird super spooky creepshow that has been B.P.R.D. and I will continue to buy it but this one finally put me over my comfort line for what horror really is and illuminated why I’ve always had such a difficult time processing it. It’s the destruction of innocence that really gets me. The awful fall of the unprotected and the gentle that makes me rage and have a fit.

All of this is done capably and horribly. It is a wrenching experience and all the determined semi-photo linework and deep, blazing color do their job very well indeed. You pained me this month, B.P.R.D. and you showed me something scary. Thank you and damn you. Also, Johann is well hard.

Invincible #103

Kirkman / Ottley / Rathburn / Rauch

Image Comics $2.99

Look, can we talk for a second? You need to start buying this book. It’s Spider-Man, all right? Great Cast, Great Action, Great Narrative. Kirkman goes to great pains to make sure each issue is accessible and comprehensible as a unit and as a whole. Ottley never met or imagined a thing he couldn’t draw free hand. Just do it as a favor to me. Ok? I don’t have much to say on it except it has held my attention for over a hundred issues and that’s not an accident.

Also, Twitter rec’d by Rob Liefeld! Err…

Batman Beyond Unlimited #17

Beechen

Archer

Fridolfs

Caldwell

Krul

Porter

Livesay

DC Comics $3.99

Whoa, that’s a lot of people.

In Brief:

JT Krul, not bad on the Superman peace pitch. Truth!

Howard Porter, your line has thinned somewhat! A positive change.

Adam Archer, you have a wonderful – WONDERFUL manga-esque Darwyn Cookery about you, sir. Also, you learned how to make that Batman “Oh sh!t” face from Norm Breyfogle. I know it. Good on you.

You uncredited guys at the back outdid the Geoff Johns version of the Shazam / Captain Marvel yearlong thing by about a million miles in two panels. That deserves a donut! Let me know where to mail it.

That’s the great thing about charting the world of the future in comics. No one gives a damn about it. Isn’t that weird?

Till next time when I make my case that ARMAGEDDON 2001 WAS THIIIIIIIIIS CLOSE TO BEING THE GREATEST EVENT CROSSOVER EVER CREATED.

Signing off in the Signature Savage Style:

BYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYE!

Cullen Bunn -- “The Power of ‘No’ and the Painful Lessons of ‘Yes.’”

Hello, Comics Internet! (So awkward, still.)

Keep an eye out for a new “giving away comics” post a little bit later. Currently, this 100% opinion piece!

Something you may not know about us working donut professionals is that we keep odd, lonely hours. Between one and five-thirty am every day not only am I awake and functioning at a high level it is exceedingly rare for me to utter a single word. Take a second to think about your day. Have you ever been silent for four and a half hours and not asleep?

What a nutty life.  Much, much more after the jump.

Anywho, in order to fill those hours when I can’t speak to anyone I listen. I listen actively and intently to all manner of media. Albums, comedy specials, NPR, Hood Internet mixtapes, TV Series. Hell, I HEARD more Friday Night Lights, House of Cards, and Cheers than I ever actually watched. I also found that I am not averse to the sound enthusiasm. Podcasts such as our own esteemed “Wait, What?!” Marc Maron’s WTF, Grantland, and Nerdist…sweet, sweet, Nerdist brought me a new arena of entertainment.

Let’s clear one thing up right now. I am a faithful Ben Blacker apostle. I listen to Thrilling Adventure Hour, every one of his Nerdist Writer’s Panels, and literally anything else he and his writing partner, Ben Acker, produce. These guys are legit trailblazers. Architects of a new endeavor. Check ‘em out!

http://www.nerdist.com/podcast/nerdist-writers-panel/

http://www.nerdist.com/podcast/thrilling-adventure-hour/

(Bonus: Latest behind the scenes episode #115 features a sneak peak at upcoming comics pod co-host Heath Corson.)

At any rate, I was toiling away one morning and listening to him chat up some guy named Ryan Condal.

http://www.nerdist.com/2013/04/nerdist-writers-panel-84-ryan-condal/

Ryan was/is responsible for adapting Cullen Bunn’s Sixth Gun for television. To be fair, frank, and clueless I didn’t know this was going on and I haven’t read more than two issues of Sixth Gun. Here’s a quick recap of the surrounding hullabaloo featuring our own Savage Graeme!

January 22 – May 8

Graeme ‏@graemem22 Jan Congratulations to @cullenbunn @brihurtt @crabtree_bill @OniPress for the Sixth Gun getting a pilot order for the TV version.

Jay Faerber ‏@JayFaerber6 Apr Congrats @cullenbunn -- the Sixth Gun is apparently an early favorite of the NBC pilots! http://www.deadline.com/2013/04/primetime-pilot-panic-the-early-buzz/

Brian Hurtt ‏@brihurtt8 May At end of day @cullenbunn and I intend to stay focused on the one thing we do have control over. The comic. Thanks for all your support!

cullenbunn ‏@cullenbunn9 May Don't give up hope for THE SIXTH GUN tv show just yet. http://ht.ly/1W0trk

Whew, that’s a rocket ride. Throw your entire career related highs and lows into a basket and it would be tough to match that six-month run.

This episode of “Writer’s Panel” had gone up prior to the bad news so Condal was still very hopeful and excited. Throughout the interview he was kind, considerate of others feelings, and seemed an all ‘round good egg. Additionally, his twitter icon is Shatner – as Kirk – mid ‘KHAAAAAN’ scream and his background is Frazetta’s “Conan the Destroyer” so say hello to my innermost gristmill, Mr. Condal. We are close on a level few humans have words for. I salute you.

However, missing in all his amiable chat with Blacker was any mention whatsoever of Bunn, himself. The man, along with artist Brian Hurt, who is more responsible than anyone for the vision of the Sixth Gun as a “thing” did not rate a single mention. It should be said, of course, that it may have been edited out and certainly Blacker knows Bunn as he’s mentioned him numerous times on other shows. I’m not saying – unequivocally – Bunn’s been given short shrift. However, they both mention Oni Press, the production company that holds development rights for all Oni Press offerings (“Closed on Mondays,” a division of Oni created back in ’03 if you’re curious.) and various other people associated with the project.

What I am saying about Cullen Bunn is simply this: He’s not up front – where a creator should be.

Without getting into Hickman-esque diagrams it’s clear that Cullen Bunn is down the ladder. Is he going to write any of this? Is he going to get a producer credit? Is this creation going to secure his working life – financially and creatively – for the foreseeable future? Have we been sold a bill of goods in the “Creator Owned” arena?

At it’s average, The Sixth Gun was selling under five thousand copies and he’s ending it at issue 50. According to Publisher’s Weekly that’s just Beer Money under most models. http://www.publishersweekly.com/pw/by-topic/industry-news/comics/article/53365-the-kirkman-bendis-debates-four-years-later-creators-look-stronger.html

In the realm of “Creator Owned” not all contracts are written equally. For example, we have no idea how far Cullen’s creative rights extend to development in other media. Does he get to say what goes in and what stays out? Does he get to exercise final say over any decisions in regards to merchandise? In the link to his blog post above he mentions that the showrunners were “open to feedback.” Very reassuring.

What’s Oni’s mutated role in all this? They may be oh so happy to write a contract that gives creators control of a 3,000 issue-selling comic but does “Closed on Mondays” offer extended rights? Or is that a new raft of deals, reduced options and shares? As our own Abhay once opined:

THE SIXTH GUN is a comic book published by Oni Press. Oni Press is a comic publisher founded in 1997, and since 2003, it’s been the sister company to Closed on Mondays, a production company that Oni describes as “created specifically to help Oni Press creators and titles find life in mediums outside of comics” which “works closely with Oni creators and staff members to find [appropriate] creative partners.” Like other similarly situated comic companies, Oni refers to their comics as “creator-owned” — though when comic publishers have sister companies that work closely with creators, some people might find it a little fuzzier what creator-owned means exactly– or at least, it’s my limited understanding that reasonable minds might differ on that point. All the crowing and chest-puffing of this past year aside, the label “creator owned” on a comic seems sort of like the label “organic” on a box of cookiess– it’s not exactly clear to me what that means, and I don’t know if it’s a good idea for me to always assume what’s being sold is healthy just based on that label.

http://www.savagecritic.com/reviews/abhay-the-sixth-gun/

Hear, hear Mr. Khosla.

Contrast this position with that of one Robert Kirkman. A person, who since launching stage two of his career post-manifesto has, essentially, written the book on how to “get yours.” You can’t look at a thing that is Walking Dead without knowing Robert Kirkman made that choice. His was the power of “No.” Right from the outset he saw through a plan that got him dirty but left him free, clear and holding permanent rights to the kind of success Jack Kirby might only achieve in a fever dream.

Cullen Bunn, on the other hand, working with a loose definition of creator owned, a bright burning dream, a restrictive in house production company deal, and sub five thousand sales may well have felt his options were reduced to one simple, “Yes.”

Wait, What? Ep. 115: Less Than Greek

"It's funny! It says 'I choo-choo-choose you' and then there's a picture of Aquaman."

Well, on the plus side? It is a Monday and we have a new Wait, What? for you--almost an entire day early!

On the minus side, we won't be recording this week due to Valentine's Day, so there won't be a recording next week, I am totally behind the eight ball on my other projects, and I couldn't get Graeme to draw a Don-Wan Kihotay for us.

After the jump, this week's episode and some super-speedy show notes!

0:00-3:18:  Odd greeting! Neurotic confession! Bizarre Love Triangle! Can you tell which one of these is a description of our opening, and which one is a New Order single? 3:18-12:34:  Strange Press Release!  (Another unsung New Order single.)  Graeme and Jeff  discuss the recent press release announcing the Rogue and She-Hulk novels for female readers. 12:34-20:17: From arguing about mythologies in tie-in products, we move on discussing whether Disney is getting too crazy with their Star Wars movie plans or not. 20:17-31:37: Jeff isn't sure how to he made the jump between Star Wars films and the twin legacies of Sylvester Stallone and Walter Hill. (The term "twin legacy" is used, and Luke and Leia are twins with a legacy?)  Nonetheless, if you were hoping to have a healthy dose of "Hey, you kids, stop misunderstanding the historical legacy of my lawn!"  YOU ARE IN LUCK.  (Please note: when Jeff says "Lawrence Silver" in his triade, he really means "Joel Silver." 31:37-1:07:48:  And from a topic of nostalgia and misunderstood legacies, Jeff tries to look at Marvel's Jack Kirby Captain America Omnibus and the hardcover collection of Neal Adams' Batman Odyssey. 1:07:48-1:08:24: Intermission the First! 1:08:24-1:12:54: And we're back.  Most of you probably know about my beard, but not many of us know about Graeme's secret sideburns…or about his even more secret interview with SKY NEWS. 1:12:54-1:22:28: The battle for New Comics begins!  Graeme has read Young Romance: New52 Valentine's Day Special and the first Jeff Lemire-scripted issue of Green Arrow.  Graeme didn't like them much. Jeff saw the preview trailer for Injustice: Gods Among Us. Arguably, he liked that even less.  And then came…the dreaded tech problems.  We liked those least of all. 1:22:28-1:22:52: Intermission the Second! 1:22:52-1:36:05:  We are back, to continue with a bit of grousing about DC.  Graeme has read the huge DC: 75th Anniversary book by Paul Levitz, leading to a conversation about what made DC great in the past.  We are excited about the new digital Superman book, maybe not so much (or at all) about Orson Scott Card, but we are very excited about Jeff Parker, Chris Samnee, and others.  Graeme has also got a sneak peek at Superman: The Unauthorized Biography by Glen Weldon. 1:36:05-1:45:22:  Jeff talks a little about the fourth issue of Multiple Warheads, in a "I would really rather talk about it when we've both read it, but Graeme keeps asking me questions" sort of way.  Also, Jeff doesn't wants anyone to think he's super-high but he decides to compare Multiple Warheads to Zero Dark Thirty for some reason?  Graeme gives the low-down on the Netflix remake of House of Cards. 1:45:22-2:11:25: Questions! We do manage to answer some questions (honestly, we were supposed to answer more and once again we got distracted).  Here we are speeding questions from four Whatnauts: Jesse M. on December 6th, 2012 at 7:08 pm asked: No way you’ll have time to answer all of these, choose one!  1) What’s the single issue of a comic that you love best?  2) I’ve been loving Journey Into Mystery From Gillen and Immonen. Once Immonen’s Sif run is finished, what team should tackle the Warriors Three? 3) Are there any current comics that would benefit from a JiM/BPRD style spinoff? Ben Lipman on December 6th, 2012 at 7:22 pm asked:  Should Marvel bother with covers?  They print them on the same stock as the pages, the books are ordered months in advance and sell to an audience that actively seeks them out. Why not save the price of more pages/art and just have the title sit above the first page?  Is FATALE becoming an ongoing series a good thing?  I enjoy it though it’s not their best, but was looking forward to Bru and Phillips moving on to something else.  What was the best and what was the worst comic you read for each decade you have read comics? Zomboner on December 6th, 2012 at 8:03 pm said:  What happens to Ross’ moustache when he turns into the red-hulk? mateor on December 6th, 2012 at 9:28 pm said:  How about…  A) Has anyone, ever, done more for a comic than Eddie Campbell did for From Hell?  B) Could we expect a modern reader to get anything out of the big 2 comics “masterpieces” of our youth? I am thinking of in continuity stuff here, something like Simonson’s Thor here, a book that pretty much ruled my world growing up, yet something I will ever be able to properly explain to my son, even if he had the issues in front of him. I don’t have the same doubts about Romita’s Amazing or other earlier runs, there is just something about those eighties books that seem stuck in time.  C) If you gave 100 people on the subway issues of Bill Sienkeiwicz’s New Mutants (with the lovely painted covers removed) how many would tell you it was the worst looking comic they have ever seen? and D) What would happen if Robert Kirkman decided to spend his next month’s income and buy the publishing arm of Marvel? Not the IP, just the right to publish Marvel comics the way he wanted…which characters would die each month and by which blunt instrument? How sad would the Punisher be while he used his slowly diminishing appendages to get the rest of the Marvel U killed, one 100 issue spectacular at a time?  Who would he think was calling him while he cried into a disconnected telephone and would he still have the beard? Would Aunt May be the big bad? 2:11:25-end:  Closing comments! Many apologies! Graeme tells you something that would make him laugh! Nothing but exclamation points! Or…are there?

And...there you have it...if by "it," you mean "the show notes."  If by "it," you mean "the show," then in fact, you do not have it...unless you look below, and then you will indeed have that, too:

Wait, What? Ep. 115: Less Than Greek

We hope you enjoy, thanks for listening, and we hope you have a grand Valentine's Day.

Wait, What? Ep. 101: Little Shavers

Kirby. Kubrick. 2001.

2001 for Episode 101?  I don't think it's deliberate, but knowing Mr. McMillan, I wouldn't entirely rule it out either.

After the jump:  Welcome to a new age of... Show notes!

0:00-1:51: Testing, testing! (Okay, I admit it: the new age of show notes is pretty much exactly like the old age of show notes.)

1:51-6:39:  Graeme (and his new friend, a mystical crow) share an observation about Brian Bendis and his interviews on Word Balloon, which leads to a bit of discussion about our sound problems for Ep. 100.  And if anyone wants to do up a splash page for "Even Troopers Have Their Limits!" as described herein, we would figure out some way to thank you for it (probably in twitter shout-outs and old review copies, and if you've listened to enough episodes, you know exactly how the labor for those rewards is being divided).

6:39-10:13: Are you experienced in the art of... K-Box?  Graeme and Jeff begin developing their next money-making scheme before your very eyes--the oral history of infamous Internet commenters.

10:13-29:58: On to the comics! Graeme wraps up his New52 Zero Issue overview with an examination of the highly remarkable revisions to Tim Drake's history. And Jason Todd's history. And Guy Gardener's history.  And Damien Wayne's history. And Selina Kyle's history.  You may sense a trend here.  (Also there were a few parts where I could've edited out the musings of mystical crow in there, but I didn't.)

29:58-34:28: You know what's not an Issue Zero?  Prophet #29 by Brandon Graham and Farel Darymple.  It is probably Jeff's favorite issue since the reboot, if for no other reason than it nails Space Conan angle he finds so enjoyable.  Graeme is much more coolish on the reboot generally, and that is a thing we rap about at least long enough to provide...

34:28-49:25: The world's greatest segue to what Graeme has been reading:  Jack Kirby's 2001: A Space Odyssey!  In the first of this episode's two dramatic readings, Graeme performs Kirby's text page from the first issue to help make sure our minds are properly blown.

49:25-53:38: So properly blown are our minds, in fact, that Jeff has to get off the phone and call back due to worries about the tech quality of the call.  (Also, it should be noted:  Jeff is recording despite managing to once again strain his back, and so has taken a muscle relaxant to allow him to twist at the hips easily and sit comfortably and other fun stuff that feels more and more like dire necessities once they are taken away.  For extra Whatnaut points, can you determine precisely when the muscle relaxants kick in and make Jeff even more thickheaded and easily baffled?)  We get back, Graeme wraps up talking about Kirby and then moves on to Steve Englehart's '70s run on Dr. Strange.  Us talking admiringly about Englehart is pretty much the free space center spot in the middle of the Wait, What? bingo card, isn't it?

53:38-59:28: Jeff exhorts Graeme to check out Tom Scioli's amazing love letter to Marvel Comics, Final Frontier, a webcomic that starts with a quartet of Fantastic Four analogs giving a farewell concert on the roof of their impressively stacked building, and gets only stranger, wilder, and more hilarious from there.

59:28-1:17:34:  Here's a shocking surprise--Graeme had never heard of Mike Allred's movie, Astroesque!  Jeff saw it fourteen years or so ago, and can kinda remember it?  From there and a consideration of the Allred mystique, it's on to discuss the Cult of the Indy Creator, whether it hurts or helps the artist, and what it might mean for comics and/or Matt Wagner (about which, Jeff has bungled some of the points he's taken from the very keen piece on Wagner by Jason Michelitch over at Hooded Utilitarian ) and/or Gilbert Hernandez.

1:17:34-1:21:12: And from there, we get to Jeff confessing his trepidation about Brandon Graham's Multiple Warheads and Brian Lee O'Malley's upcoming Seconds and why or why not that should be the case.

1:21:12-1:21:58: Graeme has a tender moment alone with you, the listener. (Well, more like thirty-five seconds... but it is very, very tender, so there's that.)

1:21:58-1:30:54:  Then a moment of high drama:  Will Jeff and Graeme remember where they left off?  (They do.) Will they have more to say about the expectations of creators and readers, and their shared responsibility for a work? (Yep.) You must tune in to find out! (Except you don't, see, because I already told you...but that's not to say it isn't interesting listening.)

1:30:54-1:41:48: News time!  It's more than just a thing Jeff tries to get Graeme to talk about while he tries to find a reference. Kirkman! Millar! Ultimate Avengers hardcover! Sale prices at Comixology!

1:41:48-1:47:31: Time for our second dramatic reading--this time it's Jeff, covering that well-known cowboy's lament, Letter from Matt Fraction to Jaime Hernandez in Love & Rockets New Stories #5 (in the key of E).  And maybe we get our new podcast motto out of it?

1:47:31-end: Speed round! (By which I mean, the time of the podcast where we kind of act like we're on speed.)  Jeff likes The New Deadwardians.  He likes it a lot.  Graeme mentions Larime Taylor, an artist who draws comics with his mouth.  And then we spend some time wondering about Morrisoncon, which will be over by the time you ever hear us talk about it. (And once again, we prove which of us is the optimistic one and which the more pessimistic one.)  Also, the return of our special guest-star, information about our upcoming birthdays, and how you can prepare for at least one of us, should you so choose.

Chances are you can still find us on iTunes, sort of, but, hey, there's always, like, here?

Wait, What? Ep. 101: Little Shavers

As always, we hope you enjoy...and thanks for listening!

Wait, What? Ep. 97: How soon is NOW

Just listen.  Trust me.

Episode 97! We are getting very, very close to the triple digits!  And, as you can see with the show notes after the jump, we are still capable of bringing the high weirdness.

(After the jump: Hi, Weirdness!)

So, right.  Show notes.  You are still digging these, I hope?  Because they do add a bit of extra duty to my editing chores...

1:04-2:45: All apologies:  Jeff is late, Graeme is behind.

2:45-13:30: But we are once again quick to start talking comics--more particularly, The Essential Incredible Hulk volumes and the art of Herb Trimpe.  We also talk Hulk and the crucial Harvey character that Jeff can't seem to remember.

13:30-38:39: And since we are talking old comics, Jeff brings up the curious case of Aquaman #56 (1971).  He was able to explode Graeme's mind with this story; hopefully, he can explode yours as well.  (There's also a harbinger of our tech problems to come in the middle of this.)  Also included: words of praise for the mighty Jim Aparo and frustrations about accessing reprints.

38:39-43:30:  On to other comics!  Jeff talks highly of Double Barrel #3 (Master of Feng-Shui!), Amelia Cole #2 (story by Adam Knave!), and Archie #635 (art by Gisele!).

43:30-48:08: Also discussed:  The 64 page 2000 AD sampler (partially read, partially too-completely discussed) and our hopes for their offerings as they leap into the digital marketplace.

48:08-55:34: Unsurprisingly, this leads to talk of Dredd as Graeme has recently read a span of Judge Dredd and tells us about it.  How is Judge Dredd like the silver-age Superman?

55:34-58:33:  And somehow I work in Spider-Man, X-Men, and the near-impossibility of reading every appearance of a superhero character. I assure you it organically flows into our discussion of...

58:33-1:04:34: Miss Thing and the Marvel NOW! announcements.  Graeme makes his picks; Jeff suggests that the Fantastic Four are done with.

1:04:34-1:10:49: And why should that be, exactly?  The answer might lie in a very different area than is typically discussed.  Belated props are given, btw, to Jonathan Hickman and we also mention the Waid and Wieringo run.

1:10:49-1:25:59: Speaking of which, Graeme has been re-reading Waid and Kitson's Legion of Super-Heroes book. Also Waid-related: his recent Four Panels That Never Work  about which we (incorrectly, apparently) assume the worst.  But on the plus side, Jeff hypes vol. 13 of Bakuman which is god-damned delightful and highly recommended.

1:25:59-1:37:58: And then, even though Jeff tries to talk about the new Archer and Armstrong reboot from Valiant, we talk about the second Walking Dead lawsuit between Tony Moore and Robert Kirkman about which...hoo boy.

1:37:58-1:41:13: No, we weren't done talking about the lawsuit, but Skype or Jeff's microphone just up and gave up on us.  It takes a minute or two for us to get back into our groove.

1:41:13-1:49:10: Like, Joss Whedon and his exclusive deal with Marvel? Hell yes, we'll talk about that!

1:49:10-1:52:39: Oh, and Archer and Armstrong?  Jeff does get around to talking about it.  Graeme has some good things to say about other books in the Valiant reboot: the new Harbinger and the new Bloodshot.

1:52:39-1:55:08: Also, Becky Cloonan on Batman #12 is a little bit of all right.

1:55:08-1:58:42: Also, Jeff picked up G0dland, Book Thirty-Six from the other week and found it (and we quote) "Kirby as fuck."  Tom Scioli does tremendous work,Joe Casey ups his game, and Skype (or Jeff's microphone) shits the bed.  (Due to the number of awesome double-page spreads in G0dland, Jeff recommends you do not pick this up in digital.)

1:58:42-end:  Graeme has a closing question!  Also, next week is our skip week...so we will be back two weeks from now.

And, well, there you have it, eh?  I'm a little exhausted at the moment so lemme just point you to  the direct link in case you don't have access to our feed on iTunes:

Wait, What? Ep. 97: How Soon is NOW

And, as always, we hope you enjoy!

Wait, What? Ep. 93: Thrill Power Overboard

Above: The Chocolate Waffle, which is a liege waffle covered in dark chocolate, from The Waffle Window, Portland, OR

Yup, Episode 93.  I would say more but I'm slightly overwhelmed with the amount of shite multitasking I'm currently doing (kinda dashing back and forth between two computers at opposite ends of the room at the moment, which neither makes me feel like a mad scientist or a keyboardist in Journey but just someone who is old, Internet, so terribly old).

On the other hand (and behind the jump):  show notes!

0:00-7:51: Greetings; getting schooled by Graeme on Tharg and the mascots of 2000AD and other British comics, with a half-hearted attempt by Jeff to pitch Mascot Wars [working title] 7:51-11:37:  By contrast, Jeff guiltily admits he's been reading the first volume of the Vampirella Archives 11:37-13:37:  Somehow this leads to a discussion of the fascinating copyright information found in Dynamite Books 13:37-15:51: Bless him, Jeff is not giving up so easily on his Mascot Wars idea 15:51-18:55: Jeff gripes about getting back into the routine after his Portland trip, Graeme gripes a bit about getting back into his routine after the 4th of July holiday 18:55-20:52:And so, finally, we start talking comic news--the announcement of Marvel NOW! and the launch of Monkeybrain comics. 20:52-24:35:  Graeme has a thing about the Uncanny Avengers cover and I really cannot blame him; 24:35-25:57: And since we are on the subject, Graeme has a few things to say about that Marvel NOW! image by Joe Quesada, too. 25:57-38:25: And so we talk about Monkeybrain instead, including Amelia Cole by friend of the podcast Adam Knave, Bandette by Colleen Coover and Paul Tobin, the other launch titles, and what we would like to see from the line in the future; 38:25-41:54:  Speaking of fantastic digital comics, the second issue of Double Barrel is out!  And neither of us have read it. But it is out!  And you should consider getting it.  Because it is also Top Shelf and also coming out in digital, we talk James Kochalka's American Elf. 41:54-49:57: Jeff talks about League of Extraordinary Gentlemen: Century: 2009. Here there be spoilers! 49:57-1:06:42:Graeme's interesting rebuttal concerns whether bad art can be forgiven if it is suitably ambitious. We have a tussle of sorts and then move on to discuss when does the creator develop that "not so fresh" feeling.  (Bonus: Graeme does a pretty great job of justifying our existence, pretty much). 1:06:42-1:15:37: Incentivizing the singles? Does it work?  Brian Wood's The Massive, Ed Brubaker's Fatale, and more discussion of the Monkeybrain publishing plan and a discussion of what works in the direct market. 1:15:37-1:29:48:  Who is stronger, Watchmen or Walking Dead?  Fight! 1:29:48-1:38:32:The possible Thief of Thieves TV show and the need to keep creating new IP for Hollywood; and when or if the Big Two will come around on that. 1:38:32-1:42:37: Uncanny Avengers.  We are a little fixated. Also, Graeme sings the ballad of Cafe Gratitude (except he doesn't sing and it's not a ballad).  And then some clever Brass Eye jokes that Graeme has to explain to Jeff.  Again. 1:42:37-1:47:36: On the other hand, Jeff did get to the comic store that week so he has that going on for him.  His quickie reviews while Graeme listens on helplessly:  Batman, Inc. #2, Fatale #6, The New Deadwardians #3 and 4; Mind MGMT #2; Prophet #26; Popeye #3 (which is awesome and must-have-ish); Tom Neely's Doppelganger; Flash #10; and Action Comics #11. 1:47:36-2:04:08: San Diego Comic Con! Graeme has two questions about it.  Crazy predictions are made and anxiety dream stories are exchanged. [brrt! brrt! David Brothers alert! brrt! brrt!]  Also, Jeff once again tries to coin the term "Nerd Vietnam" to describe SDCC. 2:04:082:09:20-: Closing comments, and a few reviews of waffles from the Waffle Window.  And then....sign off!

If you are of an iTunesian inclination, you may have already chanced upon us.  But if not, we offer you the chance to give a listen right here and now:

Wait, What?, Episode 93: Thrill Power Overboard

And as always, we hope you enjoy--and thanks for listening!

Wait, What? Ep. 75: Joshua Judges OMAC

[Above:  Not a deliberate shout-out, I'm sure, but we'll take what we can get, of course.]

Thanks for your patience during our mild vacation! In return, we offer you Wait, What? Ep. 75, which features more than two and twenty minutes of Graeme McMillan and me "stealing the air" or "pump[ing] up the volume" or whatever it is you "kids" call it. [Thanks to Joolian for pointing out that should really read "two hours and twenty minutes," damn my eyes!]

Do we talk Robert Kirkman, Tony Moore, and The Walking Dead? Do we, ever! Dare we discuss Gary Friedrich, Ghost Rider and Marvel? Dare, we do! Tire I of answering rhetorical questions? Frankly, yes, but I won't let that get in the way of telling you we also chat about L.J. Smith and The Vampire Diaries; John Rozum, Scott McDaniel, and Static Shock; and James Doohan and William Shatner and Star Trek.

Also, there's Brian Bendis' ideas for the New 52; sales expectations for the Marvel and DC; Marvel's possible reboot and their strategies for Avengers Vs. X-Men; the myth of the Marvel Architects;  Joss Whedon and Buffy The Vampire Slayer; and et cetera, and what have you, and like that.

If you were the type to indulge in auditorial gambols, you may have encountered our gift in the wild autumnal splendor that is iTunes (where nearly-extinct creatures like Ping and DRM still play).  But if not, please take it as it is offered here, with utmost generosity and verbal pomposity:

Wait, What? Ep. 75: Joshua Judges OMAC?

As always, we thank you for listening and hope you enjoy!

"'Fear Itself'? More like 'Fuck Yourself'!" (wokka-wokka-wokka)

Hey, look, reviews!  

STAR TREK/LSH #1: Awwwwww.... I really really wanted to like this more than I actually did. The idea of a "Mirror/Mirror"-ed LSH 31st century is a cute one, but at the end of issue #1, the two groups aren't even together yet! I'd have preferred that the cause of things was much clearer than it was -- like an episode of the show. Ah well, I still have incredibly high hopes for the next one. EH.

WALKING DEAD: THE RISE OF THE GOVERNOR HC: Sadly, as a piece of prose, I thought this kind of stank -- it's told in an odd voice (my English classes are decades behind me, is "They do this, they do that".... third person, present, is it? Awful awful choice in any case), and it relies way way too much on a last-minute twist that really doesn't make a lot of sense for what we see in the comic. It spends far too much of its length in stuff I really didn't care about (maybe the last 30 pages are in Woodsbury, making this kinda more "the road to the rise of the Governor", and, again, that "twist", ugh, cheaty-mccheaterpants.

As a marketing exercise, I understand this even less, as it is a tie-in to the COMIC BOOK (The TV show can't have the Governor until at least season 3, if that), yet the cover design just screams "TV show" in aesthetic. Yet anyone watching the show would likely be baffled by this novel, since there's not a single character they know in it. At the least, you'd expect that maybe there'd be a page of "now read the comics for more" or something. But, there's not -- Ugh!

Also: I couldn't really hear Kirkman's voice anywhere here. I rather get the feeling that he just plotted it, or something.

Sorry to say, this was pretty AWFUL.

FEAR ITSELF #7: Um, wow. this has not exactly been a stellar comic all the way along, but I think this issue is a special kind of low. Virtually nothing made sense to me (like WHY is Thor dead? I don't get it?), and it suffers greatly from the Lord of the Rings movie problem, where there's just epilogue after epilogue after epilogue, all designed to funnel you into other comic books. It also doesn't help there also was a brand new 12-issue (!) mini (the Fearless) spinning out the same day, nor that there also seems to be a new branding trade dress ("Shattered Heroes"), or, that they seemingly forgot about a few characters along the way (please see Graeme's AMAZING missing scene from the issue), or that they have the temerity to extend the mini by three more "issues" (7.1, 7.2, and 7.3? OY!), or that we're already ramping up for the next set of events and crossovers ("point one" ships in like 3 weeks), and it's all just too much.

It's a big giant "fuck you" to all of Marvel's readers.

The biggest sin, of course, is that it is just plain dull -- but the calculatedness on top of that? Fuck Marvel here, is what I say -- this was AWFUL.

WOLVERINE #17: I thought the "Schism" stuff was all kind of mediocre, generally, but at least it had a point and a purpose.

I go kind of crazy sometimes, when I read comics set in San Francisco, that gets basic stuff about The City 100% completely wrong. Like look at this cover:

There's no possible place in San Francisco this should could be from (remember, SF is surrounded on three sides by water -- the only place it isn't is SOUTH, so, no, you can't "walk off into the sunset"), and even putting that aside, well, I can find 8 different "no, not in SF things" here -- seriously, gang, I'm available cheap as a San Francisco fact checker!

This story here is fairly throw away, but I have to give it one big ups -- it has my new favorite line of dialogue of 2011.

So there's like a bunch of reporters standing around a crime scene, shouting questions at the harried detectives, just like what you've seen in a hundred movies, but has never happened in real life, and one shouts out something very close to:

"Captain, Captain, can you confirm that this murder puts kung-fu related deaths up by 200%?"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

The only rational response to a question like that would probably be "Yes, they're now at 200% of ZERO, dumbass", but this is comics, so that actually rules, and I'm going to give it a capricious-ass GOOD just for that line that made me giggle like a little school girl.

And, with that, I bid you anon, until next week...

As always, what did YOU think?

-B

Wait, What? Ep. 54: The Men Without Talk Talk Itself

Yeahhhh.... so Wait, What? Episode 54 is...kinda long?  I've been trying to break these bastards up into two parts so they're a little less daunting, a little more accessible (kinda), but this sonuvabitch presented no easy way to cut into pieces -- the traditional breaking point at around an hour was right when we were in the thick of things -- so I thought it was better, in the end, to just give it to you as one prime piece of just-under-two-hours of auditory real estate.

And what a fine patch of ear-land it is, I must say!  Graeme and I talk Black Panther: The Man Without Fear Fear Itself; the Internet backlash on Grant Morrison; whether creators are the new superheroes;  Justice League Dark;  The Ultimates; Steve Englehart and The West Coast Avengers, and a big discussion on both Frank Miller's Dark Knight Strikes Again and his upcoming Holy Terror. (Do you think we could cover only those topics in almost two hours? If so, I regret to inform you that you are mistaken.  We actually talk about even more.)

Like some ignoble desire, this podcast has been lurking in the heart of iTunes, but you are also invited to listen to it here at this very destination:

Wait, What? Ep. 534: The Men Without Talk Talk Itself

And I've mentioned it before, but will mention it again:  if you would like to email us with gossip, links, stories, and/or pantsless pictures of Abhay Khosla, our super-secret email is waitwhatpodcast [.AT.] gmail.com.

And I guess I always mention this, but because it is always true: thanks for listening, and we hope you enjoy!

"Don't Fuck With the POS", and other thoughts on 6/29 by Hibbs

Retailing story first, then into some reviews...

So, I'm in the back of the store yesterday, pulling the subs, but I can hear what's going on the floor just fine.  I hear Matt greet someone, then, in a shockingly short time -- like within a minute -- something escalates to screaming. "You're trying to rip me off!" and things like that. I give Matt a few minutes to try and sort it out, but he's not able to calm the guy down.

So, I saunter out, "Hello, I'm the owner, what seems to be the trouble here?"

Older gentlemen, probably in his 50s, with a teenager with him. He's gone straight to apoplectic, which is generally a sign that someone is lying to you before they even start, but let's listen to his story.

"I was trying to explain to this guy," the guy launches in, "that I was here a week or so ago to buy MICE TEMPLAR volume 2.1 for my son, and your store sold me THIS instead!" He thrusts a copy of MICE TEMPLAR v1 in HC in my hand. "And now he won't exchange it!"

"Hm, I see," I say, "do you have your receipt with you?"

"NO! I already told him, I lost the receipt. Your store sold me the wrong book!"

"Can you tell me who sold it to you, sir?"

"It was a guy with black hair, and he was wearing a hat."

"Interesting, because me and Matt are the only two people working here in the last few weeks, and our other employees are both women." (Matt and I are both light haired, and don't wear hats, BTW)

"Well, it must have been that guy!" he said, pointing to Matt. I feel if you're going to accuse someone of chicanery, you should at least have a clue as to who you are accusing.

"Hm, OK, give me a second, and let's look at the records. We're computerized, shouldn't take a moment. Hm, hm, well, I have a record of someone buying a copy of v2.1 on 6/18 from Matt."

"Yes, that was when it was, but he sold me this one instead!"

(After the guy leaves, Matt tells me that he remembers the first encounter, and how the customer and he had had a conversation about what if the man has bought the wrong copy for his son? Keep the receipt, Matt says he said, and we can exchange, of course. This is SOP at the store, and I thoroughly believe that Matt had that conversation with the guy.)

"We haven't sold a copy of v1 in HC since... looks like 2008."

"Anyway," I go on, "it doesn't seem likely that you thought you were buying a paperback of volume 2.1, but were sold a HC of v1. Didn't you notice?"

"No! That's what I'm saying! You're cheating me!"

"Well, sir, that really isn't possible. The computer reads the barcode..."

"It must have read it wrong!"

"That's really not possible, sir..."

"Well, that's what happened!"

"Really, sir, it couldn't have. Look, let's test it now." I scan the HC he is "returning" -- it scans as v1 HC. I scan a TP of 2.1, it scans as a TP of 2.1. "So, you see sir, what you're describing really isn't possible. Now, if you can find the receipt..."

"FINE!" he yells, throwing down the HC, "You just keep this one, and I'm NEVER SHOPPING HERE EVER AGAIN!"

"Fine by me!" I tell his back. I have little patience for liars.

What's funny is that if someone came in, without a receipt, saying they'd bought the wrong book, I'd generally be cool enough to swap it out -- there's nothing wrong with customer service; but to try and trick us with a completely different book that we haven't sold a copy of in THREE years? Man, I don't think so. When someone gets THAT angry, THAT fast, it's usually a good sign they're lying.

The open question is what was going on here: did he somehow have a second copy of v1, and thought he could get an easy 2.2 in exchange for it? What's weirdest is that in looking at our record for the HC of v1, it showed up on a periodic "haven't sold in a year" report that I ran in early May. On 5/13, I wasn't able to find the copy as I trolled the racks pulling off dead stock, so I noted that in the computer with a "Biffed out previously?" note, since, really, it should have been dealt with in 2010, at the latest (though I seldom make it all the way through the biffage list before I fill up the bins, and boxes in the back room)

ANYway, what I'm thinking NOW is that either he or his son STOLE the HC some time before 5/13/11, bought that 2.1 on 6/18, then thought they'd trade the stolen book for 2.2 yesterday. Can't prove if that's right or not, but it feels correct to me.

Either way, if you're trying to take the moral high ground when you storm out, leaving the business you are storming out of the book that you claim they sold you under false pretenses? Not exactly a "punishment", really.

Really though, the point is, don't fuck with the POS -- I can track, with a pretty insane level of accuracy, everything that I've EVER sold since 2007!

***

Comics you say? Sure, here's some!

WALKING DEAD #86: In a weird way, WALKING DEAD has entered this strange place where since it is so consistently good month-after-month, there's really very little need to chime in and say "Hey, another great issue!" USAGI YOJIMBO is like that, too, and I often feel bad that that book doesn't get more attention, too.

Anyway, this blog used to tweak Robert Kirkman a LOT about timeliness, and it's good to every once in a while jump back in and give an "attaboy!" for staying on schedule. WD isn't *quite* clockwork-same-week-of-every month, but it HAS been no-more-than-five-weeks-between-issues for the last FIFTEEN months, which is pretty damn good, especially for an Image book.

(I HAVE to note here that IMAGE UNITED? Issue #4 is now FOURTEEN months late, as of today -- and that's after EIGHT MONTHS between issues 2 & 3)

The other thing Kirkman is doing is using the power of HIS book, to promote OTHER books, and here with #86, he hits a Grand Slam, including the entire (COLOR) 32 pages of ELEPHANTMEN #1 -- which means he had to pay color prices even for his B&W WD pages... making this issue a giant 52 pages, half in color, for the same regular $2.99.

My only "negative" note on that, would be "might be a good idea to LET RETAILERS KNOW" when you do something like that, so they might have extra stock on hand to capitalize on it." Sadly, with the way that reorders work, if I place orders for something TODAY, it won't arrive here for thirteen more days.

Anyway, "another great issue!" VERY GOOD.

AVENGERS: CHILDREN'S CRUSADE #6: I'm not really sure when exactly this stopped having pretty much anything to do with YOUNG AVENGERS per se, and moved to trying to undo HOUSE OF M. I dunno, I want to like this because I really like the YA characters, and I guess seeing two of them getting back with mom is fun, and I absolutely adore Jim Cheung's art on this... but I'm bored to tears reading about the Scarlet Witch's "redemption". This is one of the few cases where leaving the character in limbo might have been a better thing. Very EH.

THUNDER AGENTS #8: I think this book suffers pretty badly from pacing problems -- just when there's a little forward momentum in this story, the issue suddenly ends. Plus the Dan Panosian art was pretty plain.

But what really prompted me to say something was the cover blurb.

Blurbed from "weeklycomicbookreview.com" it says ""IF YOU HAVEN'T JUMPED ON YET, NOW'S THE TIME."

Yes! Jump on now! Two Issues before the book gets Cancelled! Gooood Call!

(You know, to the best of my knowledge, after ten years of reviewing comics on the internet, Savage Critic has NEVER been cover blurbed on anything? Isn't that weird?)

Anyway: a very EH comic.

That's it for me this week, I think.

As always, what did YOU think?

-B

The Reason We Read Periodical Comics

There are two kinds of special thrills that periodical comics can bring. The first is tied to world-building, in which you get a piece of a story here, and another piece there, and eventually it adds up, building into something much larger than it's parts -- this is much of the thrill of the Marvel or DC universes, and one of the reasons that every other attempt to make a "universe" usually comes crashing down: it is nearly impossible to coordinate in that particular way, and it takes a multi-year dedication to build, with titles come out in a specific way. When you try to "erect" that kind of thing, the scaffolding is usually pretty apparent, and like a magic trick, you don't want to see how it is done.

(Because, of course, DC and Marvel both stumbled into their "universes" nearly by accident -- and they grew organically from there)

Even Marvel and DC have become pretty bad a really mining this special thrill. Look at the way sales figures have flattened as they've tried to geometrically expand the search for that thrill!

But this is something that really only main-veins as a periodical experience -- because that kind of manic soap opera thrill depends AT LEAST as much on sequence and spatial-relationship-in-time as it does about content. That is to say, to create a really lousy example that doesn't actually exist, anyone can team up Spider-Man and Daredevil to fight, but only comics can have Spidey start a swing-punch in SPIDER-MAN #123, and have him finish that arc in DAREDEVIL #213. When the inter-relationships-of-titles get reprinted in book form, you're generally only getting one strand of it, so you miss out on this whole kind of meta-thingy.

I could totally explain this better, I think, but THAT thrill isn't the one I actually want to really talk about today, it's the OTHER one: the cliffhanger.

I remember vividly the first cliffhanger that REALLY stuck with me -- at the end of the first issue of the O'Neill/Cowan QUESTION #1, Vic Sage gets shot in the head at point blank range, and falls into the river, apparently dead.

Whoa!

That was a very long month, I tell you.

In #2 it turned out that because of the caliber of bullet, the angle of the shot and the shockingly cold temperature of the river, the bullet just bounced off Vic's skull, and he was able to survive. O'Neill even told a story in the letter's page of a similar real-life incident that he took as inspiration.

But when you read this in the paperback collection, where one page he plunges down, and the next he is rescued most of the cliffhanger's power is completely abrogated. It's actually a pretty flat sequence.

It's a bit like, say, watching LOST on DVD box set, and just CHEWING through the episodes -- that can be satisfying in it's own way, but losing out on the week-between-airings and the time-to-think that stems from that is missing most of the cultural weight that LOST had on the Broadcast audience.

In fact, in really terrific network-style TV, you can get some awesome impacts of this kind of thing just from commercial breaks, which, again, get often minimized on DVD. The thing TV-on-DVD has going for it (as it were) are the musical cues which can help build suspense or otherwise manipulate your emotional reaction.

Comics don't have THAT particular trick (though they have a few native ones), so it is my firm belief that the cadence of periodical versus book-format is very very different.

Once one has been doing comics enough, it's very possible to make the periodical seams vanish when something gets collceted -- what we usually refer to as "decompressed storytelling", but unless you're very careful or very very good, it's pretty easy to short change the periodical.

I'd say that, consistently, really the only cartoonist who master the comic/book split right has been Dave Sim. Especially from, say, CHURCH & STATE through to MELMOTH or so, there are little jolty cliffhangers every 20 pages in CEREBUS, so that reading the monthly was generally satisfying (and often thrilling), but when you join those together in a book, almost every one of those cliffhangers is nearly invisible within the book as a whole. Things rise and fall differently in a book.

The other guys who have started to really figure out the trick are Robert Kirkman and Charlie Adlard in WALKING DEAD.

Which brings us to this week's issue of WALKING DEAD #86.

There's a potenitally massive massive game changer here, just one of those moments where your jaw drops and you're all "please god say you didn't!" and "I wantwantwantwant the next issue NOW!!!!", and now you've got to live what what you saw for the next entire month.

I'm not going to spoil it, but I KNOW it is going to read differently in the paperback than it does here. Why? Because similar things in previous issues have as well -- it read one way in serialization, and in a more subdued way in the collection.

And if you're one of the (many!) "I read it in trade" people, well you're missing out on one of the best thrills of WALKING DEAD -- the wait between events, and the suspense that engenders.

(Plus, the Big Thing isn't the ONLY thing that happens this issue -- there's at least one more Pretty Big Thing [and maybe 2] that gets undersold because of the Big Thing)

Anyway, this is really WHY I read comics -- for the suspense BETWEEN issues, and this was a truly EXCELLENT example of that.

What did YOU think? (though, if you comment, any spoilery ones will be deleted by me)

-B

Asshattery, and so forth: Hibbs burbles some

Like Jeff said, you being active in some way really DOES matter -- whether it is giving us a buck, or even just posting to the comments threads, it keeps us going knowing that people ARE interested.

So, since like 25% of the people posting in the shipping list thread asked, let's talk about Asshats.

I like that word, because it's really only sort of a swear -- it sounds dirtier than it really is, I think, because for me it really is more about idiocy than anything else. After all, who needs a hat for one's ass? It would quickly fall off!

(Mechanical) things are the way that they are in the DM for what are usually actually very very sound reasons. That's not to suggest or imply that the DM is perfect, or that there aren't 47 different things that go wrong in the execution, but when you look at the underlying principles behind, say, the solicitation process, they evolved into what they are because they work for the participants of the DM.

There's a reason, for example, that books generally ship monthly -- much slower than that, and the audience is much more prone to drift; much less than that, and the audience gets confused whether they've bought an issue or not.

Honestly! *one* of the (many) reasons we put in a POS system was that we get asked "did I buy this already?" quite a bit. MOST comics readers don't come in weekly. MOST don't have a pull list. MOST don't read the news sites. MOST aren't totally-organized in their collecting, making themselves lists or whatever.

So, for me, screwing with how-the-customer-buys is just an idiotic thing to do. And that makes you an Asshat.

There's no way I'm going to do this every week -- because there's weeks where no one was especially egregious, or there's nothing meaningful to say, or there's some really valid other reason. But sometimes you get some pretty obvious boners, and it's worth handing out the Award for Auspicious Asshattery.

There's even TWO this week!

AAA #1 goes to LOCAL #10. Holy, frickin' cow, this book was supposed to ship in NOVEMBER 2006. Nine months late? Are you insane? And you have the AUDACITY to not resolicit? I deeply deeply love much of what Oni puts out, but they have some of the sloppiest shipping schedules in the business. Listen: freakin' AVATAR is a more-likely-to-hit-their-shipdates publisher these days (Avatar has, to their credit, seemed to have mostly solved their shipping problems)

AAA #2 goes to an old friend of Asshattery: Robert Kirkman and WALKING DEAD #41. Dude, #40 came out LAST FUCKING WEEK. Double-you-tee-eff? Man, am I going to be swimming in "did I buy this?" questions for the next few weeks! I repeat: MOST comics customers don't come in weekly. Don't undercut your own sales. What's funny is that I believe that if WALKING DEAD shipped on an old-school schedule, like how I know that some of you could remember the days when you could set your clocks by comics -- BATMAN came out the second week of the month without fail, or whatever -- anyway, if I could tell people, "yeah, WD comes out the last week of the month, guaranteed", we'd be selling 30% more copies just like that. WD would be a top *50* comic, y'know? And the ironic thing is that I tend to suspect that with the freakish exception of MARVEL ZOMBIES, as a creator-owned book under the Image deal, Kirkman pretty much has to be making more money off of WD than any of his page-rate Marvel work.

What really makes this harder for me is that I GENUINELY like WALKING DEAD. There may be sequences I hate (like the rape stuff), but over all this is pretty much certainly Image's strongest and most consistent book. If I had written reviews last week (ah, sorry, sorry, it was order form week with a new computer system, and new hybrid method of taking orders!), I would have given #40 an "Excellent", full of wonderful and vivid characterization.

Which brings me to a special Award for Auspicious Asshattery: Diamond comics for shorting me 2/3rds of my order of WALKING DEAD #41, so I can't even fill subs, let alone have copies for the rack. Though, actually, this sorta works in my favor, because now it will look to most of my customers as though there were two weeks between issues. Hmmmmm.....

(Robert Kirkman is now allowed to make the "...and such small portions!" joke in the comment section, if he feels like it; and I will be obligated to say something self-deprecating in return)

-B

Awesome!

So, Ben showed me his first real signs of higher intelligence yesterday. We got him some blocks a month or so ago, and he did a lot of the "raking claw" and mostly just knocked them around the room. Which is cool, and all -- he's still a baby.

But for the last week or so, everytime I've played with him I've tried patiently to show him how to stack the blocks. Didn't really work, he mostly showed interest in knocking down the stack, flinging the blocks all over the room. This might have been because he was so excited he couldn't control his fine movements, but I was starting to despair that he wasn't figuring it out.

Anyway, I'm reading last night, and Ben is playing in the living room, and I popped my head out every few minutes to check on him, and what do I see? He's sitting quietly, in the middle of the room, all alone, happily stacking and unstacking his blocks, gently grasping them and carefully placing them on top of one another.

W00t!

Here's some comics from this week:

JLA #103: "Everyone Cries" continues. This time, John Stewert cries. Apparantly everyone up at DC has forgotten that JS already cried a bunch considering he was responsible for the death of an alien planet, but, hey, that's OK, I guess, isn't it? ISN'T IT? Eh.

LEGENDS OF THE DARK KNIGHT #182: "War Games" part 2. There's some running, and some shouting, and lots of gunfire, and I can't really keep all of the characters straight, but that's OK, I guess, because it's just act one, and half of them will be dead before this is all over. But on the bright side, this is polybagged with a CD, and the extra pound of shipping costs per 3-4 copies doesn't have a credit issued to retailers, and our sales will be cut because the stupid things are bagged, and you probably can't find a mint copy... wait, that's not good, is it? Eh.

NIGHTWING #96: "War Games" part 3. Probably should be called "The Adventures of Tarantula, guest starring Nightwing", but who am I to complain? I like the info dump scene where Dick finds out stuff we already know, but, structurally, it should probably have happened before the halfway point, y'know? I'm not a big fan of these kinds of crossovers, can you tell? Eh.

GREEN ARROW #41: "War Games" part... wait! This isn't a "War Games" crossover... which is funny, because the plot looks almost exactly the same. Planning! At least this one is easier to follow... OK.

PUNISHER #10: "War Games" part... nah, that jokes not funny a second time. Hell, it wasn't funny the first time. Loathsome people being loathsome, and lots and lots of cursing! I liked this better when it was a comedy... Eh.

LEGION #37: I'm still not at all sure what anyone's motivation or reasoning here is, but Karate Kid and Timber Wolf came off pretty cool. Eh.

ACTION #818: Hitting! Shouting! Exploding! It's all action, all of the time! Supes acts like a big jerk, and no one thinks twice about it, and I keep flashing back to Kingdom Come and thinking "We've forgotten the cautionary tale, already?" It's hard to picture a universe where this is worth two-dollars-and-fifty-cents, isn't it? It took me, maybe 120 seconds to read this. 2 cents a second? Now that's a deal! Awful.

BMW's THE HIRE #1: This also took almost no time to read, but the difference is, it was at least a complete thought, had several vividly drawn characters, as well as a contemporary plot. This Matt Wagner kid can really draw, he might be going somewhere! On the other hand, it's sorta a commercial (even if the car doesn't actually exist), so I can't be as enthused as I might otherwise be. OK.

DC COMICS PRESENTS: THE FLASH #1: Two cute uses of the cover image, but there's nothing woodmaking here. OK.

ALPHA FLIGHT #6: Comedy super-heroes don't really work -- at least not as a team book, because everyone needs to be in on the joke. The worst part is how badly Marvel missed the bet -- there really is an actual audience for a good AF book. We sold like 40 copies of #1 in 3 days, and by issue #5 we're down to like 11. I can't imagine this is going to make it past the first year, can you? Hell, Marvel's even tried to disassociate it from the X-Men line (It's now a "Marvel Heroes" book), which is smart, because this is Awful.

X-FORCE #1: No, Liefeld still can;t draw, but it looks K3wl, and it has lots and lots of scratchy little lines, the kind boys like! Having said that, actually, this wasn't as horrible as I thought it might have been -- the plot lurched forward adequately, and it probably is what people want. Have fun, people! Eh.

AUTHORITY #14: The "last issue"... except that it's going to be rebooted by Brubaker is like 2 months. Have we learned nothing from Star Trek, people? If a concept if dying/dead, you should take a WHILE off to recharge the DESIRE of the audience for it. Six months, a year maybe -- Authority V3 #1 isn't going to sell any better than V2 #14 when it's coming out in October, fercryinoutloud! Anyway, this was slop -- revenge revenge revenge with a slight (and cynical!) attempt to be uplifting there on the last few pages. Too bad the Coup D'etat concept when nowhere... Awful.

TEEN TITANS #14: Solid, if non-exceptional, superhero stuff -- as an attempt to give Gar an "Arch Villian" it seems to work fine. Let's call it a low Good.

HULK #75: Except for all of the "The Helicopter will just fly itself!" stuff, I kinda liked this -- certainly better than the first 3 years of Jones' run. Darick Robertson's Hulk is kinda fun looking, too. Call it a high OK.

BLOODHOUND #2: I really quite enjoyed this. Good solid police story set in the DCU, with strong characterizations, a "gritty" hero who actually seems complex, and nice art. It won't make it past issue #12, though. because I think we sold all of 7 copies of #1, and that's not a big enough base to decline from. Gotta give this a chance though, folks -- I thought it was a very solid Good.

CAPTAIN AMERICA #30: "At the (thanks) of Batroc"? Even Kirkman can't make Batroc seem like an even slightly credible threat. Sheesh. Still, while it's the Chinese menu syndrome ("I'll have the Red SKull from Column A, and the Serpent Society from column B"), I enjoyed this enough to give it a low Good.

CHOSEN #3: Hahahahahaha! I know Lester will bag on this, but I liked the "twist" at the end (though I figured it out around page 5) -- I sorta want to put up a "spolier warning", but now that you know there IS a twist, you know what it is, right? Anyway, this isn't great comics, no, but at least we can't make Ultimate Jebus jokes any longer. Good.

And that's it for today. More later, as I read them.....

-B

Crazy baby

I'm watching Ben today while Tzipora is off shopping -- the kid is a little dynamo, trying to get into little nooks and crannies where he shouldn't be. There's only so much baby proofing you can do, and there's always some place he shouldn't be. His latest thing is to rip apart the CD collection... which is on a shelf under the TV, abotu 4 feet off the ground. Yet the little terror manages to crawl up there with no real problem. Quickly, a few more books while I've distracted him with some shiny keys!

WALKING DEAD #9: Like I said, I need to cleanse my palate every few shitty comics. Glad I picked this one. Gripping, human story by Kirkman, and fabulous art by Adlard. The book took a quantum leap forward (and it was already really good) when Charlie came on board. That little reaction sequence on the bottom of page 10 is good, chilling comics. Excellent.

Damn, he's bored with the keys already and is hauling ass into my office trying to rip up this week's funny books.....

Let's try this one-handed with the baby in my lap.

EXCALIBUR #3: We keep selling out of this, which surprises me -- this is the worst of Claremont's excesses, with few of the charms. The supporting cast makes "Nudge" from Doom Patrol look like a fully formed character. 3 issues in, and there's still no real explanation of how (and why!) Mags is back. Poop. Awful.

Ok, Ben is squirming too much, this isn't working... back later

-B