“Not Unless He Had Three Legs.” COMICS! Sometimes It's Nice To Have A Change Of Scenery!

In which Judge Dredd is a right gadabout and doesn’t even have the decency to send a postcard.!!BONUS MAP OF THE MEGA-TERRITORIES!! JUDGE DREDD: GULAG by Charlie Adlard

Anyway, this…

THE JUDGE DREDD MEGA COLLECTION REVIEW INDEX

JUDGE DREDD: THE MEGA COLLECTION Vol. 56: BEYOND MEGA-CITY ONE Art by Brendan McCarthy, Steve Dillon, Dermot Power, Charlie Adlard and Inaki Miranda Written by John Wagner, Alan Grant, Garth Ennis, Mark Millar & Grant Morrison and Gordon Rennie Lettered by Tom Frame, Mark King, John Aldrich, Annie Parkhouse and Simon Bowland Colours by Wendy Simpson, Chris Blythe Eu de la Cruz Originally serialised in 2000AD Progs 485-488, 727-732, 859-866, 1382-1386 & JUDGE DREDD MEGAZINE 246-249 © 1986, 1991, 1993, 2004, 2006 & 2016 Rebellion A/S Hatchette Partworks/Rebellion, £9.99 (2016) JUDGE DREDD created by Carlos Ezquerra & John Wagner

ATLANTIS Art by Brendan McCarthy Written by John Wagner & Alan Grant Lettered by Tom Frame & Mark King

JUDGE DREDD: ATLANTIS by McCarthy, Wagner & Grant and Frame

Have you ever seen a British Bobby’s helmet? Ooooh, don’t! Get you! Stop it! OoooOOOOooooOOOOOOh! No, really, back when they walked the beat tipping the wink to the ladies, dispensing directions  and gruffly moving on the ruffians and all that, before they became  swaddled in bullet proof jackets and started cradling matt black engines of death while licking their chapped lips, back before that, did you ever seen a British bobby’s helmet? We used to call them “tit heads”, because kids have no respect and, also, they were a pretty ridiculous bit of gear. And yet thoroughly British in their ridiculousness, due to their air of wonky pomp.  Brendan McCarthy’s design for the Brit Judge embraces this tradition and carries it into the future like a sheikh carrying a blonde lady on the cover of a Mills & Boon romance. Smoothly, that is. It also suggests he is the only person in existence who ever looked at Calos Ezquerra’s original Judge design and thought, “Hmmm, pretty impractical, but not impractical enough!” Pity the poor sap who has to patrol the mean streets of Future Little Tidworth in this get-up.

JUDGE DREDD: ATLANTIS by McCarthy, Wagner & Grant and Frame

It works on the page though because Brendan McCarthy is  a design genius, and part of that genius must be due to his total refutation of physical practicalities.  Not only is the Brit Judge get-up visually delightful  it is also very British, what with its lion(s) rampant and multiple Union Jacks (The Royal Union Flag, to any Canucks out there).  All the kind of garish tat in fact which symbolises the overcompensation this nation makes for its reduced circumstances and present global irrelevance. I wouldn’t be surprised if the kneepads alternated playing the national anthem and Churchill’s speeches, and the belt pouches contained the fixings for a nice cup o’ char. Preposterously impractical and ostentatiously nationalistic, like fascism filtered through buffoonery Brendan McCarthy’s design captures the British character to a tee. I like it. Other than that though we learn little as Brit-Judges just act like Judges and the strip isn’t set in Brit-Cit but instead in Atlantis, which is not a mythical sunken city but a way station on the sea bed. The strip is a shaggy mutie story that earns its length by introducing Atlantis and Brit-Cit judges, and by being drawn by Brendan McCarthy; it’s worth reading just to see McCarthy’s giant manta rays alone. Throw in the bumptious bobby design to boot and it’s GOOD! Stuff.

EMERALD ISLE Art by Steve Dillon Written by Garth Ennis Coloured by Wendy Simpson Lettered by Tom Frame

JUDGE DREDD: EMERALD ISLE by Dillon, Ennis, Simpson and Frame

Bejabbers! If and it isn’t the quare man hissownself now, Garth Ennis! To be sure, and there’s been many a pot o’ gold at the end o’ his rainbow o’writing! To be sure, to be sure! Oho, oho, oho! But this’ll no be one of ‘em! See and if he’s not brought his sense of humour with him!  Ah now, ‘tis a turrible, turrible ting his sense o’ humour is.  Aye now, ‘tis a sorry tale indeed. In the immortal words of Alan Partridge, “Der’s more to Oirland dan DIS!” What? Oh, it’s racist when I do it is it? I see. I better stop then. When Garth Ennis does it it’s satire. Except it isn’t. Unless you are a lot less demanding than me. You know that particularly poor satire that’s so bad it is actually indistinguishable from what it purports to satirise? Well, after reading Emerald Isle you will. I guess it’s a satire of people’s ideas about Ireland but it’s kind of painful. Mind you, me and Garth Ennis’ sense of humour will always at odds. Mostly because I have an outdated belief that humour should be funny. A little bird tells me though that  different people find different things funny, so if you think having a Guinness harp© on a Judge’s helmet and potato guns that you can set to “chips” are funny, then you tuck in!

JUDGE DREDD: EMERALD ISLE by Dillon, Ennis, Simpson and Frame

Unconvincingly mixed into this hilarious stuff is a more grounded tale of a M-C1 hitman who hides out with a bunch of terrorists. Terrorism is apparently just a bit of a jape until the proper crook turns up, then things get heavy. The insouciant  Emerald Isle Judges are unprepared for the sudden explosion of pitilessly thuggish activity. Luckily Judge Dredd lends a hand. Personally I’m a bit unconvinced that terrorism in Ireland and organised crime were not inextricably linked but I’m not going to argue that point with anyone from Ireland. Say, has anyone else seen that crackin’ John Boorman movie THE GENERAL (1998)? Brendan Gleeson’s in it and it’s well good. Based on Dublin Crime Lord, Martin Cahill, it probably soft soaps the harsher reality but still, Brendan Gleeson. Lovely, lovely Brendan Gleeson. ORDINARY DECENT CRIMINAL (2000) stars Kevin Spacey and apparently covers the same ground. I’ve not watched that one so I’d not know. Meanwhile, back at the point, the late, great Steve Dillon draws “Emerald Isle” in his usual sturdy fashion whereby he avoids drawing anything too demanding but his stylistic charisma prevents it all getting too bland. He’s also wise enough to know that Dredd’s the star, so he’ll ensure at least one really great image of Dredd being Zarjaz! He’s a right good choice for such a whipsaw mix of comedy larks and brutal violence given his style can accommodate both at the expense of neither. It may not be the craic it thinks it is but “Emerald Isle” is GOOD!

BOOK OF THE DEAD Art by Dermot Power Written by Mark Millar & Grant Morrison Lettered by Tom Frame & John Aldrich

JUDGE DREDD: BOOK OF THE DEAD by Power, Millar & Morrison and Frame

I’m stretching charity to its limits when I say that Mark Millar and Grant Morrison’s Judge Dredd work is the high point of neither of their careers. Considering how little I rate anything by Mark Millar this should be warning enough. At this stage of their careers (the crazysexyfuntime ‘90s!) Millar & Morrison had teamed up and were giving interviews like they were pop stars in the vein of Pepsi and Shirley or something; they seemed pretty committed to the novel artistic approach of just telling people they were awesome without actually making any decent comics to back that up. A right self-promoting pair of capering  mountebanks  they were. Preening narcissists, some might say, because people can be very cruel. Morrison and Millar were all mouth and no trousers, as we say over here. Morrison would eventually snap out of it and lower himself to write some decent comics, which very clever people would read a great deal more into than was actually present. I don’t know what happened to him after, because the last thing I read by him was something odious about Siegel and Shuster’s treatment by DC which, while I can’t remember the specifics, certainly sounded like “Goodbye, John” to me. Apparently, because I ceased paying attention long ago, Millar would just defiantly plod on regardless, cultivating his lucrative furrow of thundering chicanery and creative impoverishment to spectacularly rewarding effect. Financially, not creatively rewarding, obviously. Before that though, the team were steadfast in their belief that if they reduced Judge Dredd to the level of a shit ‘80s straight to video action twat, this would be a good thing. At no point in their complacently leaden tenure on the strip would their approach bear any fruit other than arse grapes.

JUDGE DREDD: BOOK OF THE DEAD by Power, Millar & Morrison and Frame

“Book of the Dead” is a pretty representative bunch of those very arse grapes. Here the legends in their own minds send Dredd to the city of Luxor in Egypt, where they can’t be bothered to invent a future society, because they are busy modelling Speedos© for Deadline, or taking about being punk while actually being about as punk as Barry Manilow, or whatever and who cares, so they just make it a really superficial idea of how Ancient Egypt was, you know, pyramids, pharaohs, mummies, etc. but with hover cars, energy staffs and Resyk. Given the amount of thought involved we’re lucky the Judges don’t ride about on robot camels and Dredd doesn’t come home with a rug from a mega-bazaar. Whenever Dredd’s abroad some folk’s antennae start twitching in case any casual racism slips in, but I think the mental sloth on show here is damning enough. It’s just a multi-part punch-up and a piss poor use of Dermot Power’s not inconsiderable talents. Power fully paints the strip with a level of skill and artistry better suited to a script where someone was, you know, actually trying.  There’s some lovely muscle work on show reminiscent of the master of muscle magic, Mr Glenn Fabry, and at no point does Power succumb to the twin pitfalls of fully painted 2000AD art: drab colours and visual inertia. His work here is so lovely for seconds at a time I forgot how insultingly contemptuous the writing was of its audience. It’s only because of Dermot Power that this gets OKAY! rather than CRAP!

GULAG Art by Charlie Adlard Written by Gordon Rennie Coloured by Chris Blythe Lettered by Tom Frame

JUDGE DREDD: GULAG by Adlard, Rennie, Blythe & Frame

Charlie Adlard draws this one. Charlie Adlard is famous for drawing The Walking Dead, which is itself famous for being successful and unerringly mediocre. You knew that, but did you know that Charlie Adlard is now the UK Comics Laureate. Disappointingly, unlike the Poet Laureate, this does not mean that he has to produce comics on the Queen’s birthday or royal births and marriages, and public occasions, such as coronations and military victories. Her Madge’s Royal God-appointed face as she opened up her birthday card to find a picture of a rotting corpse tottering around a valiantly nondescript America would be quite the thing! No, it seems it’s more of a charitable position whereby the noble art of The Comic is promoted with the hope that one day it will be as popular as poetry. (<--- joke!) If you didn’t know that, then it probably evaded your attention that Dave Gibbons was the last UK Comics Laureate. As part of his promotional efforts I like to think The Gibbons used to squeeze himself into his Big E leotard from his Tornado days and leap into libraries scattering comics like startled gulls into the receptive faces of the next generation of comics’ readers. And old people sheltering from the cold. That probably didn’t happen but I think we all feel a bit better having imagined Dave Gibbons dressed as Big E. Take your pleasure where you find it doesn’t just apply to Wilson Pickett fans.

DAVE GIBBONS: BIG E stolen from thefifthbranch.com

The story? Oh, “Gulag” is about Judge Dredd getting a bunch of stubbornly unmemorable Judges together to rescue some POWS from a Siberian Gulag. Yeah, by the way, in case it hasn’t become obvious these reviews aren’t the kind which tell you significant character appearances (e.g. here: Psi Judge Karyn), who created them (Dean Ormston and Alan Grant), which story they first appeared in (Raptaur), where that story first appeared (Judge Dredd Megazine #1.11-1.17) and when (1991). No, these are just what an old man of questionable lucidity manages to crank out in the time allotted by circumstance. Reviews, but not as we know them. There’s little rigour or design to them. It’s less Douglas Wolk and more a shaky old gent muttering to himself in a library (Dredd…zarjaz!...Rico…BAD! Pat Mills…lovely teeth! Space Spinner…Big news for readers inside! Etc etc), before Dave Gibbons unwisely clad in the rags of yesteryear, bursts in and causes me to vapor lock in shock. Prone to divergence at no notice, yeah? Particularly when dealing with Gordon Rennie, who here writes about Judge Dredd and chums in Siberia. In “Gulag” Sibera is less than rewarding as a locale as it is just full of snow and bits of barbed wire, and the differences in the Sov Judges’ uniforms is minimal. It’s not worth the trip really. Rennie huffs and puffs about the stakes at, er, stake but I could never rid myself of the impression that it was all just a big fight over an empty shed in a snowy field. Charlie Adlard fails to ignite events, but everything he draws looks like what it’s supposed to be. I mean, it certainly wasn’t worth a butt of sack but it was OKAY!  

REGIME CHANGE Art by Inaki Miranda Written by Gordon Rennie Coloured by Eua de la Cruz Lettered by Tom Frame, Annie Parkhouse & Simon Bowland

JUDGE DREDD: REGIME CHANGE by Miranda, Rennie, del la Cruz, Frame, Parkhouse & Bowland

“Regime Change” is the second Rennie penned tale and had an equal impact on my memory as that one in the snow, what’s it called? The one with, uh, the snow and, uh...Anyway, Dredd goes to Ciudad Barranquilla (AKA Banana City) which spawls over most of Central America like a gaily coloured, city shaped metaphorical sombrero. Pretending to give a shit about missing cits Dredd and a multi-national  “peace keeping force” show up and nose about. Turns out though, in a twist that could only surprise a Daily Mail reader, that they are actually just there to depose the Judge Supremo and install someone more to M-C1’s liking. When the corpses of fourteen M-C1 citizens are found in a mass grave they have all the excuse they need. What shocking cynicism! The sheer gall of Gordon Rennie to even suggest to imply such a thing! It’s fine. It’s drawn by Inaki Miranda whose art I don’t like because everyone is drawn with a tiny wee head like Thrud The Barbarian, and it’s all just a bit too busy for me. One of the problems with comics is that you can come up against a style you just don’t like. It doesn’t mean it’s “bad”, it’s just not to your taste. Guess what? That’s right. So, “Regime Change” is OKAY!

JUDGE DREDD: REGIME CHANGE by Miranda, Rennie, del la Cruz, Frame, Parkhouse & Bowland

It was a bit dull that wasn’t it, a bit normal. Sometimes I’ll do that, sometimes I’ll just start on a craven apology for not having done these sooner. Because, yeah, I started writing up these Dredd partworks in 2015 and then…I stopped. A lot of that was down to apparently I like to make promises I can’t keep. That way I think I get to keep the guilt up. I’m still feeding off the guilt of not carrying on with the Planet of the Apes Weekly, but that was a lot of work to be fair, I kind of aimed to high on that one. Not doing the Dredds as well was too much guilt though. It was getting oppressive. Mind you, about two write-ups in, when I first started, it was pointed out to me that Douglas Wolk had written up every Judge Dredd strip ever so…I felt a bit like a spare prick at a wedding. If Gus van Sant had been halfway through making PSYCHO when someone told him this guy Fred Hitchcock had already had a go, I like to think he would have had the sense to stop. It’s about knowing your place, innit. Alas, that didn’t stop me feeling bad; yes, I felt bad, and I still feel bad because “Drac” in the comments was all gung-ho about following along from his Australian location. And I just pisseded off and left him or her hanging. That’s shabby behaviour. So, too late to make up for it, I’ve started again. I’m banging them out now but that won’t always be possible (because, life), but as slow as the flow may become I’ll carry on. Sometimes I’ll try and do a proper job and sometimes I’ll just amuse myself, depends. Personally I find it difficult to say much about Gordon Rennie, so it’s unfortunate that we have two of his storylines in this book. Bit of a mixed bag this book, to be fair the Rennie ones are part of a longer uberplot involving the machinations of an embittered Sov, so they lose out by being isolated here. BEYOND MEGA CITY ONE is a GOOD! Read overall, I guess.

NEXT TIME: I haven’t thought that far ahead. So surprises in store for us all!

BONUS: A NO DOUBT OUTDATED MAP OF THE WORLD OF JUDGE DREDD!

Wait, What? Ep. 146: Two:One

Man. the stuff you could buy out of the back of comics.

Hey, everyone!  We're back with another  podcast.  You should download it and listen to it really loud while you watch the last episode of True Detective!  (Why? I don't know.  It would make the experience more cinematic, maybe?  I mean, I suppose I could've taken the time to craft some outrageously satisfying joke about, uh, hmm, see, now you know the problem I'm having with that one and really the joke -- even if I could craft one, which it is now clear I couldn't  -- would've only really truly been funny for a brief period of time, whereas failure is enduring and therefore timeless and therefore ever-timely and besides don't we just die in the end, anyway?)

<<jazz hands>>

Anyway, after the jump: "Show notes? I'll show you show notes, mister!"

00:00-5:28: Greetings!  I must say, we are off and running in this installment, although part of the reason why I can say that is my definition of “running” includes “arguing about Taco Bell’s Waffle Taco within a minute of starting the podcast.”  (This may be the reason my exercise regimens aren’t as successful as they should be.)  (Also, we complain about people who talk about the word “seekrits,” (instead of “secrets”) while at the same time having to admit that we currently have “seekrits” (the term which is somehow, we realized, more innocuous than “secrets,” which sound like they could, you know, get someone killed and stuff.))  Seekrits/secrets!  WE HAVE THEM AND HOPE TO SHARE THEM SOON (Oh, sure.  Now I'm going to not punctuate, after the hell that was trying to track all those parentheticals.) 5:28-27:38: As you may recall, a few months back, a Whatnaut gave Jeff a free hit of the glass pipe that is Marvel Unlimited.  Now (and by now, we mean, “through March 14”), anyone can get a month of Marvel Unlimited for only $0.99.

Graeme gave it a try on his Kindle Fire and here’s what he had to say.  (And for what it’s worth -- yeah, I know I'm going into "paren mode" on you again -- because that same Whatnaut spent the ninety-nine cents on me, I have MU for another month and it’s been all updated since we recorded to include Marvel AR and the Dynamic Audio and re-tooled up the interface (finally, when you get to the end of the issue, you can jump to the next one).  And I’d probably wax even more rhapsodically about it if it didn’t keep making me log out and back in because it suddenly randomly decides I can only see three page samples even though it says I’m a member. Once they get that fixed though…)  Also discussed:  Comixology getting hacked, Marvel’s possible future digital plans, we try to figure out exactly how quickly Graeme would be all over the DC equivalent for Marvel Unlimited, the recent digital sale from 2000 A.D., and more. P.S. Thanks, Matt! 27:38-31:36: Because of aforementioned 2000 A.D. digital sale, Jeff read Purgatory, Mark Millar’s lead-in to the Judge Dredd event, Inferno, with art by Carlos Ezquerra.  The extent to which Mark Millar has arguably managed to win at American superhero comics and yet lose at 2000 A.D. is a fascinating, fascinating thing…although not as fascinating for Jeff as finding out that the brilliant Colin Smith (from Too Busy Thinking About My Comics) has been covering Mr. Millar’s work in bewitching detail over at the Sequart site.  Most of you, like Graeme, were probably already in the know about this, but for those of you, like Jeff, who were not, that link is gold, Whatnauts.  Solid gold. Also? In case you didn't feel like counting? Seven commas, my friend. Suck it. 31:36-44:27: Here’s where you get to Rog!  If you want to hear Jeff and Graeme talk about the first issue of IDW’s Rogue Trooper by Brian Ruckley and Alberto Ponticelli, go to 44:27.  To hear Jeff and Graeme continue to talk about Mark Millar, including his amazing “exclusive” to Comic Book Resources and his first issue of Starlight with artist Goran Parlov, keep listening!  (Also mentioned:  Flash Gordon, John Carter, Up, The Incredibles, and like that.  Although, to be entirely honest, I don't think there is any other specific titles mentioned but I tried to cover that up by typing "and like that."  Why?? You're either on board with this show or not, right?  It's not like you're going to be reading these show notes if you're not listening, yes?  Unless you're just really bored and even though you haven't listened to the podcast before, you're deciding to skim these show notes to get some sense of the tenor of things...but even then, why would the final deciding factor be the number of other topics we bring up while talking about Starlight?  And if it was, why?  What's wrong with you that something so picayune could influence you? I don't have a problem, you have a problem!) 44:27-1:00:45:  Jeff and Graeme talk about the first issue of IDW’s Rogue Trooper by Brian Ruckley and Alberto Ponticelli, the appeal of Rogue Trooper generally, the character's greatest problem, and more.  No, really.  There's more. I'm not just saying that like I was right up there.  There really is. 1:00:45-1:07:43: Since we’re talking about 2000 A.D. so much, Graeme brings up a book he’s read an advance copy of that he enjoyed with that same sort of vibe, the first issue of Magnus, Robot Fighter by Fred Van Lente and Cory Smith.  That, by the way, is out this week from Dynamite, in case you're interested.  I said "advance" copy but I wasn't really specific at the time. Wasn't appropriate. Would've made that sentence even more grammatically fraught. Trust me. 1:07:43-1:14:34:  Afterlife With Archie #4!  Believe it or not, Graeme and Jeff are still digging this book by Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa and Francesco Francavilla (almost as Jeff likes talking about himself in the third person and writing in the first person plural.  Man, no kidding.  We still really like it a lot. It just never gets old.  I wonder why, though.  I guess, all those formative years reading SPY magazine? Although thinking about it:  what's wrong with me that something so picayune could influence me? You don't have a problem! I have a problem!). But! We are digging it a lot.  Like, a lot a lot.  We also talk about the recent news coming out of Archie [Comics, not Andrews], such as Aguirre-Sacasa being made CCO and Lena Dunham writing an upcoming story for Archie.  If you listen closely, you can tell how badly Jeff wants to talk about Girls, but perhaps fortunately for all of us, the topic is shelved for another time. 1:14:34-1:22:06: In The Days of the Mob!  Graeme finally gets his hands on the reprints of Jack Kirby’s amazing (and amazingly short-lived) crime anthology series from the early ‘70s, and we go on to talk about, you know,  JACK KIRBY. 1:22:06-1:26:00: By contrast, Jeff got his hands on Revenge #1 by Jonathan Ross and Ian Churchill…although it’s probably more accurate to say that he got it on his hands, if you understand what we're saying.  If not, don’t worry: it’ll become pretty clear as the discussion goes on. 1:26:00-1:30:02: Vandroid #1 by Tommy Lee Edwards, Noah Smith, and Dan McCaid.  It is, in some ways, very much the same as Revenge, and in some ways very, very different.  Jeff also brings up Machete Kills by Robert Rodriguez, as if that movie could bridge the gap between Revenge and Vandroid, which… I don’t know. Maybe I’m overthinking it. I mean, not like the rest of this week's show notes. 1:30:02-1:44:26: Forever Evil #6!  Graeme has read it.  Does he overthink it?  He doesn’t!  It’s pretty much terrible and he tells us why.  Also discussed:  The status quo of the New 52, James Robinson, cognitive dissonance, and more. 1:44:26-1:49:34: By contrast, Graeme has read the Batman/Superman Annual by Greg Pak, Jae Lee, Kenneth Rocafort, and Philip Tan and quite liked it, although the fact that it retails for $5.99 does give one pause, doesn’t it? 1:49:34-2:00:02: Graeme tries to goad Jeff into a speed round to talk about the remaining books on his list and Jeff, like the good mule that he is, slows down that much more under the pressure.  But he does talk about the first two issues of Bob Fingerman’s rebooted Minimum Wage; The Fuse by Antony Johnston and Justin Greenwood; Scooby-Doo Team-Up #3 by Sholly Fisch and Dario Brizuela; and the absorbing and superlative Nijigahara Holograph by Inio Asano, the latter of which Jeff just about goes breathless trying to think of enough good things to say. A truly amazing piece of work, and so incredibly worth checking out, I can’t even begin to tell you...although if you think about it, that phrase is 100% untrue in this particular instance, what with me telling you about telling you about it. Which, if you think about it, is literally how beginning to tell someone would play out.  (Sure, it's not the only way -- you can just tell someone, right, I get that -- but it is a way.) 2:00:02-2:11:56: And that should be the end of it, a wrap in just a little over two hours.  Except…what about The Avengers?  What about our read-through of the first three hundred issues of The Avengers?  Even though we tell you we’ll hold off and discuss a full twenty-five issues next time, we just can’t resist talking for just a few minutes about issues #51 through the mid-to-late sixties by Roy Thomas and John Buscema. And by "a few minutes," we mean "almost twelve." 2:11:56-end: Hey, my single, "My Single is Dropping," is dropping!  (It's not, but that's what writing all this made me think of.)  Closing comments!  Our comments thread is currently toast, but feel free to email us or contact us on Twitter (which, if you don’t know how or where to do so, you’ll find out in this segment).

Okay, there you go.  Man, I can't tell you how much I wish I had actually edited the lines "what's wrong with me that something so picayune could influence me? You don't have a problem! I have a problem!" into the podcast, that way when you were listening to it while watching the last episode of True Detective and Rustin Cohle turns to Martin Hart and says the exact same thing at the same time, you can come back to the opening of this entry, and be all "holy shit, this guy's good," and I'd be all "The Aristocrats!"

<<jazz hands>>

But, instead, what actually happened was I jumped into a separate browser window to make sure I was spelling Marty's last name right and nearly spoiled the ending of True Detective for myself.  Thanks, East Coast writers.

<<jazz hands>>

Anyway, episode is on iTunes or down below.  You know the score, Alan Moore. Get with the listening!

Wait, What? Ep. 146: Two:One

Wait, What? Ep. 131: Linkpocalypse

Motofumi Kobayashi's Cat Shit One: Another great reason to love comics.

Yes, okay! As always, I have nothing clever to say in this space, but unlike always, I'm not going to waste your time saying it. I've got show notes with images! Links! Prizes! (There are no prizes!) Torrid confessions! (There probably will not be any torrid confessions.)

After the jump: Show Note Machine...Go!

0:00-25:22: Bemoaning the fact that we're not nearly as organized as other podcasts, Graeme makes a prediction about we'll be talking about this episode as a way of introducing this episode to listeners. This allows me to retool a favorite aphorism here in the show notes:  "If you want to make God laugh, introduce a podcast." It leads right into our first order of business:  talking about the latest crazy developments in DC's 3-D cover event.  If you've already read Hibbs' post about this already, you'll be a step ahead of most of the points Jeff makes here, although he does bring his own unique tin foil hat spin to the situation.  Also covered, the recent decision in Kirby v. Marvel,  what it means to "hamburger a muffin" and the opening of a  new Salt & Straw right near Graeme. Verily, this is the Mighty Wait, What? Age of Golden Epicureanism! 25:22-34:07:  Also on a non-comics tip, Stephen Colbert and Bryan Cranston, which famous people we've been compared to, the Adult BMI guidelines, Tarder Sauce, and more. 34:07-45:37:  Todd McFarlane, Len Wein and Gerry Conway discussing sexism and comic books! which we discuss without the context provided by some later tweets made by Conway.  And who is…. the Billy Joel of comics?  Find out here, along with a torrid confession from Jeff!  (Oh, okay, so there was one of those, after all.  Huh.) 45:37-58:05: And in this week's installment of "Welcome to Jeff's Big Basket of Sour Grapes," Jeff talks about a Twitter exchange between Rob Liefeld and Erik Larsen and their consideration of comic book criticism.  Graeme, trying to bring the sense, just ends up bouncing the ball of generosity off Jeff's ungenerous blockhead for an impressively long time. 58:05-1:04:00:  Also, under discussion, Mark Millar's comments about rape.  You probably can imagine our reaction to that one but...maybe not? 1:04:00-1:21:40: And now it's time to talk about some comics we've read -- a little bit about AvX  (and the kindness and generosity of the Whatnauts), but also a lot about the genius that is Rogue Trooper and Cat Shit One. This leads to our we-might-as-well-make-it-official-and-call-it-weekly discussion about 2000 A.D., which in turn leads to discussion about comic book covers, which in turn leads to Velvet by Ed Brubaker and Steve Epting, 1:21:40-1:26:08: Jack Kirby's In The Days Of The Mob! It is available! It is…not cheap!  Not cheap at all! 1:26:08-1:27:21: Copra Compendium (which I can't say aloud without thinking of Weird Al-esque lyrics set to "Copacabana" which is probably why I probably called it Copra Companion half the time) Vol. 2!  Jeff loves this like burning, worries that Graeme may not.  But either way, there is so much lovely stuff, including  the panel shown below and discussed in this podcast:

1:27:21-1:31:33:  That inspires Graeme to talk about Lynn Varley, Trevor Von Eeden, and the Kickstarter the latter is running with Don McGregor for Sabre: The Early Future Years. 1:31:33-1:34:12:  Graeme has read Cartozia Tales, the shared fantasy universe featuring some outstanding work by Jen Vaughn, Jon Lewis, Dylan Horrocks, and more. 1:34:12-1:38:34: Trilium #1 by Jeff Lemire. We've both read it.  We both discuss it. 1:38:34-1:41:55: Jeff fumbles and bumbles through some display problems to try and convey how much he digs Jaco the Galactic Patrolman by Akira Toriyama, as well as Toriyama's brilliantly dopey pre-Dragonball series, Dr. Slump.  One of the panels Jeff discusses super-briefly is this one:

1:41:55-1:45:04: The first collection of Talon from DC!  Did Graeme like it almost as much as Jeff likes Toriyama…or even more than Jeff likes Toriyama?  Tune in and find out. 1:45:04-1:52:08: The final volume of Bakuman is out, which is very bittersweet for Jeff.  Despite the frustrations with how Viz has handled publication of this manga (and the generally anticlimactic nature of the last volume), man of man, Jeff is going to miss that series. 1:52:08-end: Closing comments! Graeme makes it sound like we won't be back next week but we will!  (I think.)

See, look at all that. Links! Images! Torrid confessions. (Well, a torrid confession.)  Nice, eh?  So you should go hear it!  It is on iTunes -- eventually -- and it is here for your convenience:

Wait, What? Ep. 131: Linkpocalypse

As always, we thank you for listening and hope you enjoy!  (Now if you excuse me, I have a new chapter of Jaco The Galactic Patrolman to go read....)

Wait, What? Ep. 101: Little Shavers

Kirby. Kubrick. 2001.

2001 for Episode 101?  I don't think it's deliberate, but knowing Mr. McMillan, I wouldn't entirely rule it out either.

After the jump:  Welcome to a new age of... Show notes!

0:00-1:51: Testing, testing! (Okay, I admit it: the new age of show notes is pretty much exactly like the old age of show notes.)

1:51-6:39:  Graeme (and his new friend, a mystical crow) share an observation about Brian Bendis and his interviews on Word Balloon, which leads to a bit of discussion about our sound problems for Ep. 100.  And if anyone wants to do up a splash page for "Even Troopers Have Their Limits!" as described herein, we would figure out some way to thank you for it (probably in twitter shout-outs and old review copies, and if you've listened to enough episodes, you know exactly how the labor for those rewards is being divided).

6:39-10:13: Are you experienced in the art of... K-Box?  Graeme and Jeff begin developing their next money-making scheme before your very eyes--the oral history of infamous Internet commenters.

10:13-29:58: On to the comics! Graeme wraps up his New52 Zero Issue overview with an examination of the highly remarkable revisions to Tim Drake's history. And Jason Todd's history. And Guy Gardener's history.  And Damien Wayne's history. And Selina Kyle's history.  You may sense a trend here.  (Also there were a few parts where I could've edited out the musings of mystical crow in there, but I didn't.)

29:58-34:28: You know what's not an Issue Zero?  Prophet #29 by Brandon Graham and Farel Darymple.  It is probably Jeff's favorite issue since the reboot, if for no other reason than it nails Space Conan angle he finds so enjoyable.  Graeme is much more coolish on the reboot generally, and that is a thing we rap about at least long enough to provide...

34:28-49:25: The world's greatest segue to what Graeme has been reading:  Jack Kirby's 2001: A Space Odyssey!  In the first of this episode's two dramatic readings, Graeme performs Kirby's text page from the first issue to help make sure our minds are properly blown.

49:25-53:38: So properly blown are our minds, in fact, that Jeff has to get off the phone and call back due to worries about the tech quality of the call.  (Also, it should be noted:  Jeff is recording despite managing to once again strain his back, and so has taken a muscle relaxant to allow him to twist at the hips easily and sit comfortably and other fun stuff that feels more and more like dire necessities once they are taken away.  For extra Whatnaut points, can you determine precisely when the muscle relaxants kick in and make Jeff even more thickheaded and easily baffled?)  We get back, Graeme wraps up talking about Kirby and then moves on to Steve Englehart's '70s run on Dr. Strange.  Us talking admiringly about Englehart is pretty much the free space center spot in the middle of the Wait, What? bingo card, isn't it?

53:38-59:28: Jeff exhorts Graeme to check out Tom Scioli's amazing love letter to Marvel Comics, Final Frontier, a webcomic that starts with a quartet of Fantastic Four analogs giving a farewell concert on the roof of their impressively stacked building, and gets only stranger, wilder, and more hilarious from there.

59:28-1:17:34:  Here's a shocking surprise--Graeme had never heard of Mike Allred's movie, Astroesque!  Jeff saw it fourteen years or so ago, and can kinda remember it?  From there and a consideration of the Allred mystique, it's on to discuss the Cult of the Indy Creator, whether it hurts or helps the artist, and what it might mean for comics and/or Matt Wagner (about which, Jeff has bungled some of the points he's taken from the very keen piece on Wagner by Jason Michelitch over at Hooded Utilitarian ) and/or Gilbert Hernandez.

1:17:34-1:21:12: And from there, we get to Jeff confessing his trepidation about Brandon Graham's Multiple Warheads and Brian Lee O'Malley's upcoming Seconds and why or why not that should be the case.

1:21:12-1:21:58: Graeme has a tender moment alone with you, the listener. (Well, more like thirty-five seconds... but it is very, very tender, so there's that.)

1:21:58-1:30:54:  Then a moment of high drama:  Will Jeff and Graeme remember where they left off?  (They do.) Will they have more to say about the expectations of creators and readers, and their shared responsibility for a work? (Yep.) You must tune in to find out! (Except you don't, see, because I already told you...but that's not to say it isn't interesting listening.)

1:30:54-1:41:48: News time!  It's more than just a thing Jeff tries to get Graeme to talk about while he tries to find a reference. Kirkman! Millar! Ultimate Avengers hardcover! Sale prices at Comixology!

1:41:48-1:47:31: Time for our second dramatic reading--this time it's Jeff, covering that well-known cowboy's lament, Letter from Matt Fraction to Jaime Hernandez in Love & Rockets New Stories #5 (in the key of E).  And maybe we get our new podcast motto out of it?

1:47:31-end: Speed round! (By which I mean, the time of the podcast where we kind of act like we're on speed.)  Jeff likes The New Deadwardians.  He likes it a lot.  Graeme mentions Larime Taylor, an artist who draws comics with his mouth.  And then we spend some time wondering about Morrisoncon, which will be over by the time you ever hear us talk about it. (And once again, we prove which of us is the optimistic one and which the more pessimistic one.)  Also, the return of our special guest-star, information about our upcoming birthdays, and how you can prepare for at least one of us, should you so choose.

Chances are you can still find us on iTunes, sort of, but, hey, there's always, like, here?

Wait, What? Ep. 101: Little Shavers

As always, we hope you enjoy...and thanks for listening!

The train keeps rolling: Hibbs' 4/11

Christ the truck with the NEXT batch of comics will be here in just an hour or two, I best get started writing....

AMERICA'S GOT POWERS #1: It's RISING STARS meets THE HUNGER GAMES!

Though, actually, like the latter example, I had some real problems with the set-up as presented: COULD a society evolve the way they posited?

Here's a factoid for you: there are more dog owners in San Francisco, then families with school age children -- and SF proper doesn't have a high birth rate (I think it is one of the lower in California), with what looks like just about 8k kids born annually in SF county. Since the book posits every child in any state of in utero in SF being born "instantly" and overnight, and with superpowers, we might assume this being 9/12ths of that annual number, or something along the lines of SIX THOUSAND super powered children, all the same age.

So, how do you convince parents and/or the kids to do this for what feels like a few years in the story? Since they were 13 maybe? I don't think it spells it out exactly? Certainly long enough to build a giant stadium that appears to connect to Alcatraz island (!) -- though, really how they do that and not devastate shipping into Oakland, I'm not entirely sure...

I don't know, I think if I'm 13 years old, I'm not so inclined to use my awesome superpowers to fight my peers, actually -- I think we (since what 13 year old doesn't think they know better) use it to set ourselves up for something better. Sure, SOME kids go along with it... but anywhere near the majority?

And even those? When they start using robots with live fire against us?

Jonathan Ross' writing is crisp, and Bryan Hitch's art is as nice as ever, but it would seem to need to be some other check or balance going on here to have even the slightest chance of this working as posited. Ultimately, that breaks my Suspension of Disbelief, and made me think this was merely OK.

SAGA #2:  Well, I liked the second issue here even better than the first one, so that's a good sign. I really liked Alana's willingness to sacrifice her child, rather than giving it over to the freaky topless spider-chick. Yeah, this is VERY GOOD comics, I think.

SECRET SERVICE #1:  Mark Millar is hardly subtle, but I thought the neat class juxtapositions here, coupled with the thinking about government austerity programs and the "super spy" was actually a fairly trenchant piece of social commentary. Doesn't hurt to have Dave Gibbons drawing it, either. VERY GOOD.

Ugh. three books? That's all I have time for, and two of them are only semi-reviews? Sorry... but I need to check in this Baker & Taylor box before the truck arrives with the new Diamond books... more on (I hope) Thursday, getting me more recent...

What did YOU think?

-B

Wait, What? Ep. 71: Funk, Soul, Brother

Yep, a bit of a delay but here we are, more or less as promised: Wait, What? Ep. 71, featuring our new theme song courtesy of the hyper-talented Graeme McMillan. This done-in-one episode is not quite two hours and forty-five minutes and covers, um, lots of stuff.

Stuff like OMAC and the other cancelled new52 titles; the current state of George Perez's career and what Marvel's marketing team could do with it; Mark Millar's Trouble and Spider-Man; comments by Charles Vess and Ariel Olivetti about Marvel; Mark Waid's Amazing Spider-Man/Daredevil crossover, Jason Aaron's Wolverine and the X-Men as well as Wolverine #300.

Plus, a lot of babbling from Jeff about PunisherMAX #21; a debate how many "good" issues a creator might have in them; Secret Avengers, Astonishing X-Men, Warren Ellis, and in-canon behavior; James Robinson and Shade; the preview issue of Shonen Jump Alpha; and Marvel Two-in-One vol. 4.

See? Worth the wait. (Probably.)

We would like to think it is on iTunes, but we are all but certain you can listen to it here, thanks to the handy link below:

Wait, What? Ep. 71: Funk, Soul, Brother

As always, we thank you for listening and hope you enjoy!

Wait, What? Ep. 68.1: Grist for the Mill(ar)

This one had the best of intentions but somehow ended up being more of the accident-at-the-mousetrap-factory variety. Graeme and I started with the idea of doing a year in review podcast and it morphed, as our conversations usually do, into a verbal catalogue of compulsion and fixation.

Oh sure, we start covering events from 2011 like DC's New 52, day and date digital, but ends up being more about the paintings of Sharon Moody (erroneously called Shannon Moody by me for the whole damn podcast!), Christmas with the Swamp Thing and a long analysis of the year's crossover events through the only lens that matters--that of Mark Millar.

But my system crashes partway through the conversation (which you'll be lucky enough to hear), Audacity stripped all the sound out of the exported file (which I only found out after I spent an hour uploading) and we still have Part 2 for you to come--which I look forward to all but stabbing me in my fucking throat, Chucky-style, while I work on it--so, you know. Happy Holidays! And like that.

[NOTE: Turns out the music that plays us out didn't convert into the final mix for some reason?  So even though the episode ends very abruptly, you're not missing anything, we swear.]

In any event, maybe you can find this on iTunes (or iTunes has turned that soundless file into an unstoppable murdering sonic sound file...in which case, I apologize and ask you don't count it as a typical recording should you decide to leave us a review there) or you can listen to our friendly, non-murderous version here:

Wait, What? Ep. 68.1: Grist for the Mill(ar)

Thank you for listening, and for putting up with our sad sonic shenanigans!

Wait, What? Ep. 61.2: Fat Kid Loves Cake

And here we are with part 2, just as promised: McMillan! Lester! Cassard! Acero! Questions! Answers! More after the jump!

I know what you're thinking: "Really, Jeff? Again with the exclamation points?" But some of you are thinking: "Cassard and Acero? What are they doing in this brief-yet-already-overheated blogpost?"

And the answer to the latter is, "why, they are the winners to our second Wait, What? contest!"

That contest, announced right before we went on vacation, was to pick a Hitchcock movie to be adapted into an ongoing comic series, tell us who would work on it, and the most widely lauded part of the ongoing run.  We got a lot of really great responses for this and chose both Dylan Cassard and RJ Acero as our winners for coming up with some exceptionally thoughtful books we would both kill to read.  Graeme is mailing them each a copy of Marzena Sowa's memoir Marzi, illustrated by Sylvain Savoia and published by Vertigo, and you can check out their award-winning entries below the podcast embed.

As for that embed, here is the second part of episode 61, concluding our discussion about Marvel, and moving on to some other topics including why Ed Brubaker's Fatale might have ended up over at Image; the secret of Mark Millar's success, and questions from Twitter and our recent Savage Critic thread, with answers covering topics such as Wolverine And The X-Men #1, Shonen Jump Alpha, the revival of Rob Liefeld's Awesome Studios (such as, for example, Brandon Graham and Simon Roy's Prophet, which is where this post's image comes from), X-Factor, and much more.

Wait, What? Ep. 61.2: Fat Kid Loves Cake

We didn't quite have time to get to all the questions so if you don't hear yours, don't worry.  We'll have it asked and answered in Ep. 62, we (mostly) promise!

And now for those winning entries!  Here's Dylan's, which he presented as a recent article he'd just read (and which had me fooled up to a certain point):

North by Northwest

"Getting There From Here"

In 1959, Martin Goodman managed to secure the rights to an adaptation of "North by Northwest” for Atlas in hopes of publishing something that didn't have a funny animal or Jerry Lewis. Stan at the time, was in desperate need of an artist. Joe Maneely would have been his original choice for a project like this, but now Stan was at a loss. He hesitantly passed it to Jack Kirby who turned in a character sketch of Cary Grant, which Stan deemed "too ugly for human consumption." On a lark, Jack passed the project off to Don Heck. Stan was so impressed with the way Don drew Cary Grant he later said in the letters column of issue #7, "Don Heck must be having lunch with Cary Grant on a regular basis, but I don't know how he could with all the comics he's drawing." The reception to the book was lukewarm at best, and Stan Lee's adjustments to the ending never sat right with Hitchcock. And it was canceled after issue 10. The adaptation rights lay dormant in the Marvel offices for over 20 years.

But all that changed one unseasonably warm day in the winter of 1974, Steve Engleheart marched into Stan's office and demanded to write the continued adventures of Roger Thornhill. Stan was skeptical at the time and was still pretty ticked about the Dr. Strange/Sis-Eneg debacle, but as Stan put it, "Englehart had a way of pitching an idea as though I'd already thought of it."

Engleheart's following series (penciled by Frank Brunner) chronicled the journeys of Roger Thornhill through the Marvel universe as he was consistently mistaken for Kang the Conqueror, M.O.D.O.K., The Mindless Ones and even (at one point) Spider-Man by Peter Parker himself! The public loved it, and issue #9 (the Doctor Bong issue) was the top selling issue on the stands setting the all-time comics sales record of 2.5 million copies. Which was not overtaken until Spider-Man #1 in 1990.

After 11 issues, it seemed like the creative team had started to lose interest with the initial concept. After a prolonged and contrived battle with the entire Kree race landed Roger Thornhill in the Pacific Northwest, Roger smoked peyote with a Native American shaman and realized he had lost touch with America and "needed to find out WHERE it truly was." (a lofty if vague goal to be sure) Englehart took Roger across the U.S. visiting every landmark and tourist trap that Steve had read about in a travel brochure he had picked up at a used bookstore one weekend. (Brunner has said that issue after issue he kept remarking, "I can't believe they are paying me to do this!")

Most die-hard NxNW fans site these 3 issues as when the series achieved transcendence and became something wholly different from anything the medium had offered before. And most likely would never return to again. Shortly after, Englehart left Marvel and the series was continued by Roy Thomas who wanted a "back to basics approach" with Roger being mistaken for different Marvel characters while trying to live his everyday life. A slew of fill-in writers plagued the book as Roy was busy with his EIC duties, and it was eventually canceled after issue 26.

Since then, there have been many attempts at revivals. Alan Moore penned a story in Daredevils that many Moore enthusiasts site as his best prose piece, and Todd McFarlane attempted to buy the rights from the Hitchcock estate in the late 90s but it amounted to little more than a toy of Roger Thornhill covered in thorns. Fan letters still drop in the Marvel office mailbox from time to time, and not a Comic-Con goes by that Joe Quesada doesn’t drop hints that there may be more new adventures from Roger Thornhill, but it is truly doubtful that any will recapture the magic of Brunner’s lovingly rendered sunsets casting a warm glow over Englehart’s conversations between Roger Thornhill and the waffle slinger at Louie’s Chicken Shack.

And here's the entry from RJ Acero who, since we didn't specify whether to use living or dead creators, stuck to the living:

Rebecca - written by G. Willow Wilson, art by Frazer Irving. I have to admit, the idea of Irving illustrating Manderley burning to the ground has me pining for this to happen. As an ongoing, I see this series as the travels of Mrs. Danvers (whom in our story, survives the fire) as she joins various households as a maid, leaving broken marriages in her wake. Think of her as a dour, older, feminine version of Tom Ripley. I think Ms. Wilson would be perfectly suited for writing the painful, surreal doubt that wives would face at the hands of Mrs. Danvers.

Rear Window - written by Greg Rucka, art by J.H. Williams III. The continuing adventures of Mr. & (now) Mrs. Jeffries. They travel the globe as Jeff is on assignment. Holing up in hotels in exotic locales. Jeff constantly in a different cast, and Lisa in the "latest" fashions. I would love to see the formalist flourishes that Williams could come up with for the inevitable "spying on the neighbors" scenes. Rucka seems capable of providing detailed assessments of Jeff's assignments and certainly has the chops to interject some interesting plot twists. And most importantly, he would write a strong Lisa Jeffries.

The Wrong Man - written & illustrated by Steve Ditko. Henry Fonda as Job by way of Ditko. Practically writes itself. As an aside, this may be the saddest sad sack film ever. Don't get me wrong, there's great craft on display (obviously), but the plot just gets darker and darker. The epilogue could not pull this one out of a nosedive.

Vertigo - drawn by Sam Kieth, written by Dave Sim. Two comic titans with diametrically (?) opposed views on women, working on an adaptation of a film that has some severe issues with how it portrays women. This would either be complete genius or a murder/suicide.

North by Northwest - written by Grant Morrison, art by Frank Quitely. I'm not quite sure why, but this makes sense to me. Think of All-Star Superman #3, where Lois is gifted Superman's powers. There is something about the dynamics of Clark & Lois' relationship that resonates with how I see Roger Thornhill and Eve Kendall. And I want to see Quitely draw people on top of different monuments every month.

The Birds - written by Warren Ellis, art by Jill Thompson. This would basically be an ongoing series where every arc tells of a different town (different time period?) that comes under siege by birds. I think Ellis could really drive a series where the only constant is an unspeaking antagonist, and the central mystery goes unexplained. After reading Beasts of Burden, there is no question in my mind that Thompson is a perfect fit here.

Psycho - written & drawn by Ba & Moon. This ongoing would be a travelogue where at the conclusion of every story our protagonist(s) find themselves at the Bates Motel, and their demise.

Pretty great, right? Congratulations to RJ and Dylan, and our thanks to all our entrants!

Wait, What? Ep. 53.2: In The Case of Jibber v. Jabber

Yes, and but so here's part 2 of Ep. 53, wherein Graeme and I talk at semi-absurd length about The Trial of The Flash (for which I wanted to gank a great picture off Google but couldn't find anything that really grabbed me), Mark Millar's run on Ultimate X-Men, Ultimate Fallout #6, Wonder Woman: Retroactive, a troubling trend with Diamond's distribution, and a few other topics.

If it's not on iTunes yet, it should be! But you can also listen to it here as the mood suits you:

Wait, What? Ep. 53.2: In The Case of Jibber v. Jabber

Also, as previously mentioned, we have an email address, waitwhatpodcast[AT]gmail.com, and we heartily invite you to send us news, gossip, or to tell us about that one time at an estate sale you found a pristine 7-11 Marvel Doc Savage slurpee cup from 1975 but realized the previous owner had used it to collect their yellowed toenail clippings and it just smelled off in a way you found alarming.

[Now I wished I'd used the picture of the Doc Savage cup as our post's image, dammit.]

As always:  thanks for listening and we hope you enjoy!

Brube in da house, and more of Hibbs' blabbing

It was a painfully slow day at the ol' CE today -- there were points I expected tumbleweeds to start rolling through. Thankfully, things were deeply enlivened when Evil Ed Brubaker did the surprise pop-in around 3 PM, which nicely helped us kill 3 hours, hooray!

Ed, once a long time ago, lived in San Francisco, and was a CE customer. Back in the days before he became a Corporate Sell-Out, Working For The Man, Ed used to come around and be a Little Black Rain Cloud, always moaning about how much the comics business sucked, and how he got no respect, and yadda yadda. Don't get me wrong, we loved it, because, yeah the comics business can and does suck, and Ed wasn't getting the respect he deserved, and yadda yadda. It's just that if I could cartoon at all, and you held a gun to my head and said "draw Ed Brubaker", I might draw a picture of Eeyore in a Porkpie Hat.

So I was a little surprised (happily so!!) to see Little Miss Sunshine Brubaker, all happy and smiling and filled with joy to all things comic-al. I guess having the nest selling single issue of the last year can do that to a feller, right?

Honestly, it couldn't have happened to a better guy, and we couldn't have possibly be happier for all of his success, and I like the fact that it's made him a Smiling Guy, because while I liked 'ol Dour Ed, I like the Happy Brube better, I think.

So, anyway, yay that!

I've decided that, no matter what he says now, I'm not going to remove Jeff from the "contributors" list. He doesn't actually ever have to post, but he'll always have the ability to, in case he changes his mind.

I'll make no secret of the fact that I think he's (easily!) the best of the three writers here (I'm the worst, pretty clearly), because he is actually edumicated about writin' and stuff. I just know if I like something or not... Jeff knows WHY.

Anyway, I hope he decides that posting a review of something occasionally doesn't violate this new focus. Even if it is only quarterly or something, I don't think he should let that particular set of muscles grow cold (unless he starts doing reviews for pay, in which case, yah forget about us!)

As for me, Jeff told me... uh three weeks ago now? You'll notice that's pretty much when MY volume of posts starting dropping, too. I mean, the Savage Critic as a blog, and as more than just my voice? That's all Jeff's fault, so having Jeff here was one of the things that kept me posting as often as I have -- trying to top him, and all.

(Look, there are worse motivations one can have)

So, I don't know much, but I do know that I won't be doing daily posting "any more" -- I'll shoot for thrice a week, though. Graeme says he enjoys posting daily, so, alright, he can be insane and keep that up (My problem is my boss is CONSTANTLY looking at my work...)

As for the future of the blog, really what I'd like to do is find 2-3 more people who share a similar style or sensibility and who know when to snark, and when not to, and get it so the Critic IS "multiple content daily", but NOT dependent on one person to make it so. I'd also really like it if we could figure out a way to monetize the Critic without selling out TOO badly (or triggering your epilepsy), but everything we've looked at so far seemed like it was too little money involved for the general intrusiveness of ads.

So, if you have any ideas, I'm always glad to hear them.

There's also a new TILTING AT WINDMILLS up on Newsarama. Follow that link to read me talk about late comics and weekly comics both. I think it turned out pretty OK for once!

Muh, one quick review before I go off and decide to have some "time off":

ULTIMATES 2 #13: Maybe, just maybe it is because there was most of a year between issues that this didn't connect to me at all, but I kinda doubt it.

The big problem is, of course, the protagonists are struggling against a faceless horde, and are rescued by another faceless horde, so there's nothing even remotely resembling human stakes through most of the proceedings (this is a common mistake of Millar's, of course)

Big widescreen action is fine enough, but it needs to have something human to anchor it against -- and I don't really care about any of these iterations of these characters enough to do so naturally. There could have been some interesting through line in here via "Sorry for thinking you were a mental patient, Thor", but that's never addressed here at all.

About the only thing I DID like was the Black Widow scene at the end.

And what about the art? I hope it's not me, because I found parts of it to be downright sketchy -- probably the biggest offender is that full page half-shot (? I thought a page was missing) of the explosion. Jinkies!

Most perplexing of all is the final scene. Why is this here? Did I forget some opening sequence from a year and a half back this is meant to link to? Even if there is, I can't see what possible resonance that scene could have to the events of this issue, or those leading up to it.

All in all, not worth the wait, and while it may tighten up in paperback, for this, as a single entertainment experience, I have to go with AWFUL.

What did YOU think?

-B

Slowly, I turned....

I'm utterly dead after today's day of work -- not only did I have to get through the new books, but the photocopy of the new PREVIEWS (the "blackline") appeared today, so I had to power through that, deciding on what to list and what not on our next sub form so I could get it to Graeme so G knows WHAT to discuss in the new ONOMATOPOEIA. Speaking of Graeme, since I know he's not likely to link-blog this one, but check out This thread on Millar World, where Millar evidentially decides Graeme is an internet stalker of some kind. I love this bit: "I think he's Scottish, though I've never actually met him, but the people who have say he's actually OK... until my name is mentioned. The very mention of my name has him, in their words, swivel-eyed with rage."

Yeah, man, I'll back that up -- SWIVEL-EYED WITH RAGE! Just mention Mark Millar in Graeme's presence and he turns beet-red. Thick black smoke starts pouring out of his ears and nose. His rage and anger is so great that he starts to make this peculiar humming/whistling noise, and if you don't interrupt him, the sound build until it actually makes him lift off the ground, and float around the room with rage. One eye twitches left, and the other one? Man, it just starts to spin in circles. First clockwise, then counter-clockwise, then it does this sort of backwards Zorro Z kind of thing, faster and faster until you think YOUR eyes are going to start doing it too if you keep looking at him. Milk will start to curdle around ol' McMillan if you say the "M-Word". Why, just saying "Mark" causes this anger-ray to radiate from the pits of G's soul, such that colors seem a little less bright, sounds a little more discordant. Banshees and Nessie alike flee in terror when Graeme is in his "Millar Rage".

How mad does he get? You really want to know? Man, Graeme gets SO mad that his hair actually starts to grow back in, JUST SO he can rip it out at the roots again, screaming "MILLAR THAT BASTARD, HE CAUSED ME TO LOSE MY HAIR!"

He's Lex Luthor to Mark Millar's Superboy. Yes.

I can't count the number of times I'm have to physically hold Graeme back (and it took me, Lester and Brill to wrestle him to the ground this one time!) when some one mentions his name. I can even recall this time we had to restrain him when we were discussing 300, and he wigged out: "No, Frank! We're talking about Frank Miller, man! PUT THE GUN DOWN!!!"

I'm even taking a chance with this post -- sometimes, just seeing The Infernal Name in print, I've been told he'll just put his hand through the monitor. He's gone through 20 this year alone.... and it's only March!

I live in daily fear. I really do. And thank god you've all been warned now -- DON'T SAY THAT NAME IN FRONT OF GRAEME MCMILLAN.

-B

PS: Seriously, it sounds like Millar and G have been in email contact, and have worked things out. Good. I think its pretty crazy insane that MM made that rant, and exhorted his readers to dig up every bad thing G ever said, in the first place.

Here's the thing though, and I'm just speaking for myself, if you don't want people to call you out on crazy batshit insane things you say on the internet, then, dunno, maybe you shouldn't say them. But when you say them EXPRESSLY TO CREATE CONTROVERSY, then maybe you shouldn't be too surprised when, uh, they create controversy. Or, if you prefer "controversy".

PPS: This is going to be a weird week because we don't have a Massive Book That Everyone Is Hounding Us For. Two weeks ago: CAPTAIN AMERICA #25. Last week: BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER #1. This week...

...

...

Well, let's MAKE one, OK? Tomorrow morning, I want you to walk into your Friendly Local Comic Shop, and ask them for a copy of THE BRAVE AND THE BOLD #2. I read my copy tonight on the bus ride home, and, I think I might have even liked #2 better than #1. There's a wonderful denseness to the narrative, lots and lots of things happen, and it's just lovely to look at. This is nothing less than a love letter to the DCU, and, it should probably be called MARK WAID'S DC UNIVERSE ADVENTURES. Maybe add an "ALL STAR" before that, even. This is quality superhero comics, with heart and soul, and exactly the right amount of FUN. There's not a single drop of blood in this comic, and yet there's plenty of punching and 'splodyKicks and action. This is everything that every book in the DCU should read like. And its EXCELLENT.

(I know I've oversold it now, but really, it's a barrel of fun)

OK, going away from computer now.

-B

PPPS: Slowly, I turned....

Books of 8/11

Yeah, yeah, I know, I left the comics hanging. But, somehow this week, even *I* didn't care what I thought of AQUAMAN and EMMA FROST and SOULFIRE. So I'm going to skip the rest of the comics. On to the books to clear the table for the 8/18 comics. NEW X-MEN V 3 HC: The last big Grant Morrison book, all pretty and larger, and all in all a great deal.

ESPER UNDERTOW: I fondly remembered this story, but it didn't hold up nearly as well as I recalled. It's almost kinda quaint. Still, I'm keeping my copy.

SUPERMAN ADVENTURES v1 & 2 DIGEST: Mark Millar's Superman stories. Some are good, others are great, though I don't like the format very much personally. They kinda look cheap.

FLIGHT GN: The belle of San Diego, and it's worth the buzz -- the rare anthology that works all of the way through.

JIMBO IN PURGATORY: Uh, wow, that's pretty Large, ain't it? There's nowhere on any shelf that I have that this would fit, so on the store's floor, it sits.

JLA / AVENGERS: THE FANGASM HC: OK, so that's not what it is actually called.... but it should be. The book of extras is kinda fun, tracing the live(s) of this project, including the 22 pages already penciled at full size -- plus it's copiously anecdoted about who is where doing what to whom. Obsessively, maybe. That's all very very cool -- but the main event here really is the crossover itself, which looks 10x better at this size. Man, do those pages look fucking a#1 terrific, or what? Seventy-five dollars, shmeventy-five dollars, if you like Perez's art, if you like DC or Marvel, then you'll have a fangasm all over this book. Easily the recommended book of the week.

-B

Some more from 8/11

INVINCIBLE #14: Top notch super-fun here -- I really liked the teleport gag. A few captions are pretty radically overwritten, but, ah, so what? Very Good IRON MAN #432: Ah. Add another Dead Girlfriend in the Fridge to the list, Gail. This is taking the easy path to drama, but at least no one got raped.... Eh

SPIDER-MAN #5: Nice Frank Cho art, but, blech I don't like Millar's characterizations of anyone here. Why is MJ calling Felicia "Babe"? Or insisting she's an idiot over and over again? "This is supposed to be the HOBBY"? No, sir, I don't like this. I don't want "gritty" Spider-Man! Awful.

I mentioned the other day that people should pick up BIRTH OF A NATION, but I've finally read it now. Wow, excellent stuff. A modern "The Mouse That Roared" (sorta), and it's wickedly funny, and touching, and insightful all at once. I really loved this, and give it an unreserved thumbs-up, HC or no. Excellent.

-B