Wait, What? Ep. 101: Little Shavers

Kirby. Kubrick. 2001.

2001 for Episode 101?  I don't think it's deliberate, but knowing Mr. McMillan, I wouldn't entirely rule it out either.

After the jump:  Welcome to a new age of... Show notes!

0:00-1:51: Testing, testing! (Okay, I admit it: the new age of show notes is pretty much exactly like the old age of show notes.)

1:51-6:39:  Graeme (and his new friend, a mystical crow) share an observation about Brian Bendis and his interviews on Word Balloon, which leads to a bit of discussion about our sound problems for Ep. 100.  And if anyone wants to do up a splash page for "Even Troopers Have Their Limits!" as described herein, we would figure out some way to thank you for it (probably in twitter shout-outs and old review copies, and if you've listened to enough episodes, you know exactly how the labor for those rewards is being divided).

6:39-10:13: Are you experienced in the art of... K-Box?  Graeme and Jeff begin developing their next money-making scheme before your very eyes--the oral history of infamous Internet commenters.

10:13-29:58: On to the comics! Graeme wraps up his New52 Zero Issue overview with an examination of the highly remarkable revisions to Tim Drake's history. And Jason Todd's history. And Guy Gardener's history.  And Damien Wayne's history. And Selina Kyle's history.  You may sense a trend here.  (Also there were a few parts where I could've edited out the musings of mystical crow in there, but I didn't.)

29:58-34:28: You know what's not an Issue Zero?  Prophet #29 by Brandon Graham and Farel Darymple.  It is probably Jeff's favorite issue since the reboot, if for no other reason than it nails Space Conan angle he finds so enjoyable.  Graeme is much more coolish on the reboot generally, and that is a thing we rap about at least long enough to provide...

34:28-49:25: The world's greatest segue to what Graeme has been reading:  Jack Kirby's 2001: A Space Odyssey!  In the first of this episode's two dramatic readings, Graeme performs Kirby's text page from the first issue to help make sure our minds are properly blown.

49:25-53:38: So properly blown are our minds, in fact, that Jeff has to get off the phone and call back due to worries about the tech quality of the call.  (Also, it should be noted:  Jeff is recording despite managing to once again strain his back, and so has taken a muscle relaxant to allow him to twist at the hips easily and sit comfortably and other fun stuff that feels more and more like dire necessities once they are taken away.  For extra Whatnaut points, can you determine precisely when the muscle relaxants kick in and make Jeff even more thickheaded and easily baffled?)  We get back, Graeme wraps up talking about Kirby and then moves on to Steve Englehart's '70s run on Dr. Strange.  Us talking admiringly about Englehart is pretty much the free space center spot in the middle of the Wait, What? bingo card, isn't it?

53:38-59:28: Jeff exhorts Graeme to check out Tom Scioli's amazing love letter to Marvel Comics, Final Frontier, a webcomic that starts with a quartet of Fantastic Four analogs giving a farewell concert on the roof of their impressively stacked building, and gets only stranger, wilder, and more hilarious from there.

59:28-1:17:34:  Here's a shocking surprise--Graeme had never heard of Mike Allred's movie, Astroesque!  Jeff saw it fourteen years or so ago, and can kinda remember it?  From there and a consideration of the Allred mystique, it's on to discuss the Cult of the Indy Creator, whether it hurts or helps the artist, and what it might mean for comics and/or Matt Wagner (about which, Jeff has bungled some of the points he's taken from the very keen piece on Wagner by Jason Michelitch over at Hooded Utilitarian ) and/or Gilbert Hernandez.

1:17:34-1:21:12: And from there, we get to Jeff confessing his trepidation about Brandon Graham's Multiple Warheads and Brian Lee O'Malley's upcoming Seconds and why or why not that should be the case.

1:21:12-1:21:58: Graeme has a tender moment alone with you, the listener. (Well, more like thirty-five seconds... but it is very, very tender, so there's that.)

1:21:58-1:30:54:  Then a moment of high drama:  Will Jeff and Graeme remember where they left off?  (They do.) Will they have more to say about the expectations of creators and readers, and their shared responsibility for a work? (Yep.) You must tune in to find out! (Except you don't, see, because I already told you...but that's not to say it isn't interesting listening.)

1:30:54-1:41:48: News time!  It's more than just a thing Jeff tries to get Graeme to talk about while he tries to find a reference. Kirkman! Millar! Ultimate Avengers hardcover! Sale prices at Comixology!

1:41:48-1:47:31: Time for our second dramatic reading--this time it's Jeff, covering that well-known cowboy's lament, Letter from Matt Fraction to Jaime Hernandez in Love & Rockets New Stories #5 (in the key of E).  And maybe we get our new podcast motto out of it?

1:47:31-end: Speed round! (By which I mean, the time of the podcast where we kind of act like we're on speed.)  Jeff likes The New Deadwardians.  He likes it a lot.  Graeme mentions Larime Taylor, an artist who draws comics with his mouth.  And then we spend some time wondering about Morrisoncon, which will be over by the time you ever hear us talk about it. (And once again, we prove which of us is the optimistic one and which the more pessimistic one.)  Also, the return of our special guest-star, information about our upcoming birthdays, and how you can prepare for at least one of us, should you so choose.

Chances are you can still find us on iTunes, sort of, but, hey, there's always, like, here?

Wait, What? Ep. 101: Little Shavers

As always, we hope you enjoy...and thanks for listening!

"Mr. Dazzleby Has Promised To Be Kind And True." COMICS! Sometimes It's Four Divided By Zero Plus One!

I've heard some people only read Marvel comics! Also, some people only read DC Comics! That's okay, 99% of all psychiatrists agree - compartmentalisation is really healthy! It's also okay because I only wrote about some DC Comics! Marvel people will have to wait a bit. I know, I know but I'm sure you'll find the wherewithal to cope. Next: words...

WONDER WOMAN #0 Art By Cliff Chiang Written by Brian Azzarello Colours by Matt Wilson Lettering by Jared Fletcher DC Comics, £2.99 (2012) Wonder Woman created by William Moulton Marston

Throughout this comic Cliff Chiang provides outrageously gorgeous artwork, I just want to make that clear. Because as lovely as his work is it can in no way distract from the petty failures of Azzarello's script. This reads like an attempt to channel the scripts of old complete with their overwrought narration and abundance of redundant information.  In the hands of a respectful and talented writer this would be a cute homage, a neat tip of the hat, a cheeky wink, a clever and enjoyable comic. But not here. Azzarello's bitterness and contempt for the work of all those who came before him is evident on every chippy little page. The first narrative caption contains not only this creepily layered insult to both readers and women, "the monthly monster strikes again!"  but goes on tell us the tale originally appeared in "All-Girl Adventure Tales For Men".

I imagine the intention was to be humorous but I don't have to imagine that the reality is so soured with loathing for the audience, the self and even the genre that  it's a relief when the curdled homage ends a few pages later. Yes, because as primitive and rubbish as we are implicitly assured the writing was in comics of yore, it's actually beyond Brian Azzarello's sophisticated and modern talents to replicate at even a satirically joshing level for a full issue. As base as they were he can't do it. Which is the best joke of all. It's thanks only to Chiang, Wilson and Fletcher that the book hovers around GOOD!

ACTION COMICS #0 Art by Ben Oliver, Cafu Written by Grant Morrison, Sholly Fisch Colours by Brian Reber, Jay David Ramos Lettered by Steve Wands, Dezi Sienty DC Comics, £3.99 (2012) Superman created by Jerry Siegel & Joe Shuster

Unlike the assured work in his BATMAN books (work so assured that it it kind of glosses over how bad some of it is) I've not found Grant Morrison's run on ACTION COMICS to be terribly convincing. It's had the air of him having been asked if it's still his dream job to write a regular Superman comic, to which he's replied, "Hoots! Aye tha ken right, maboab! When am ah starting?" And then he's been told "Er, we need twenty two pages in the next five minutes." "Crivvens!" indeed! The results have been a bit patchy to say the least. Although maybe it's just that he was writing in a burning temple. That would put anyone off.

(I guess I should apologise for that outrageous descent into Jockface but I'm sure you understand that I am an artist and, even though I’m very far removed from Scots culture, I really love it. I don’t even eat a lot of shortbread, I eat a lot of fish and chips but the fascination with the Scots remains part of our everyday British culture. It would be wrong of me not to rip the piss. Also, Grant Morrison is really acting like a bowffing staigie these days.)

It's just a bad comic all over but you can see how it could have been a good comic had some time been spent whipping it into proper shape. Children being saved from awfulness by the sheer Goodness of Superman should be a slam dunker but this thing is under-worked at both words and art level. Underworked to the extent that the art isn't even art at times, it just flat out descends into silhouettes like a cack handed Han Dynasty Chinese shadow play rather than a Twenty First Century American comic-book. As it is the whole thing is a lost cause anyway; totally scuppered by its failure to decide where it stands on quiffs. Initially the quiff is seen as a force for good, embodied in the choice of basing Superman on Film Critic and All Round Good Egg Mark Kermode.  Yet later a drunk child abuser (boo!) is introduced sporting the self same pompadour. Mixed messages are one thing but if a comic can't even decide where it stands on the morality of a haircut it's pretty much bound to be EH!

ALL STAR WESTERN#0 Art by Moritat (and Pia Guerra) Written by Jimmy Palmiotti and Justin Gray Coloured by Mike Atiyeh Lettered by Rob Leigh DC Comics, £3.99 (2012) Jonah Hex created by John Albano and Tony DeZuniga

Fortuitously for the writers Jonah Hex has had an eventful life because then they can just fill the pages offhandedly routinely recounting his doings in a manner that would make the personification of Perfunctory raise her fan to her face and blush. This happened, then this happened and later this happened? that's not actually a story. It's things happening. There's no attempt to add anything to Jonah's story it's just: Jonah's Dad was violent but not a drunk, now Jonah's Dad is violent and a drunk, etc. It's just there. Moritat is clearly overworked here but he does manage the odd panel that it's worth lingering over amongst all those that you'd rather rush past in embarrassment. Despite the rote plodding of the writing thanks to Moritat's occasionally interesting art and a travelling salesman called "Mr. Dazzleby" the comic manages to be OKAY!

Sometimes people point out that they don't like that rasher of skin connecting Jonah's upper and lower jaw. Somehow this weakens the whole character for them. Luckily I ignore my family and think about things like that, important things. Yes I'm here to help. Place your forefinger at the point at which your lips meet, now place your thumb at the point where your teeth stop and your jawbone begins (you will have to press against the flesh until you feel the difference), now move your forefinger in a rough circle between its starting point and where your thumb has paused. Imagine that that flesh has been cut away. Hi ho! There you go! The mystery of Jonah's strange face solved. Next!

BATMAN INCORPORATED#0 Art by Frazer Irving Written by Grant Morrison (story by Grant Morrison & Chris Burnham) Coloured by Frazer irving Lettered by Pat Brosseau DC Comics, £2.99 (2012) Batman created by Bob Kane

Even though Frazer Irving's art is obviously rushed, veering wildly from the astonishing to the embarrassing, and he badly fluffs the final "beat" with the boomerang his work here is still fascinating in a really pleasing way. I like the way the colours are presented as just shapes and your eye has to skitter about the image, like a spider seeking shelter when you suddenly switch the light on, until it gleans enough information to figure out what the Holy Mother of Pearl it's looking at. Your eye that is, not the spider.

Maybe that's why the story here works so well. Because it isn't really a story it's more a of a sleight of hand in which a jumble of moments manages to create enough mental connections in the mind of the reader to make it seem as though a coherent narrative has occurred. It's a neat trick. A good enough trick in fact for the comic to be GOOD!

SUPERMAN FAMILY ADVENTURES #5 Art by Art Baltazar Written by Art Baltazar and Franco DC Comics, £2.99 (2012) Superman created by Jerry Siegel & Joe Shuster

I buy this comic for Johnk(UK) V.2.0 in the hope that he will also wish to waste large amounts of his life on blathering on witlessly about the artform known as comics. Yes, he enjoys this but then so do I. I enjoy it for lots of reasons beyond the fact that I am a child-like simpleton. I enjoy the fact it is quite sophisticated in its treatment of the Olsen-Lane-Kent dynamic. Lois knows Clark's secret she just pretends she doesn't and Clark knows she knows and that she is pretending she doesn't while Jimmy is just comically plain vanilla oblivious.

Also, I like the Super-pets and this comic is the only place you can see them unless the main DCU finally matured enough to stop being embarassed of its heritage in exactly the same way that a teenager is embarassed by their parents. Look, the book's neat stuff. A lot of the time I have no idea what is going on, but that's okay. Even when it is just brightly coloured gibberish the kids seem to understand. And since that's who it's for this is VERY GOOD!

I hope you all had a nice weekend and enjoyed some COMICS!!!

Wait, What? Ep. 100: Year Zero

(One of my favorite hundredth issue covers, by Joe Staton and Dick Giordano for DC Comics)

I don't know why, but for a moment there... I was very afraid this episode wouldn't end up existing?  I think because, you know, you say something is a thing, as opposed to just being business as usual, and the next thing you know there's a certain nimbus of expectation around it, even if only to yourself?  Sometimes it  seems like that kind of nimbus makes the best kind of target for capricious fate...

Anyway, enough of that "and then he tore his eyes out in the fifth act!" musing, join us behind the jump for show notes and celebratory waffles, yes?

0:00-8:24: Graeme brings a message to piss Jeff off...from the future!  What can it be? Hint: Before Watchmen is involved.  Laughs are had and the distance between qualified and unqualified is considered.

8:24-20:54: And on a related note--time for some red-hot sexy DC New 52 Issue #0 talk.  Batman, Inc. #0, Batwoman #0, Wonder Woman #0, Supergirl #0, Justice League #0, Earth 2 #0, and OMAC and DC Universe Presents #0.  Warning: Graeme has read 38 of these by now.  I mean that's...wow.

20:54-46:59: ASM is being cancelled!? Jughead is going on hiatus?! (A reference to) cats and dogs living together under the same roof?! What the hell is happening?

Also, Graeme has the chance to have some quality time with the listeners. Also also, in the coming attractions end of thing, we discuss how Bendis' X-Men is shaping up, in light of Avengers Vs. X-Men #11. Additionally, we run down Professor X's CV. If you want to guys remembering off the top of their heads the names of Hank McCoy and Bobby Drake's old girlfriends, this is where you want to be.

46:59-54:59: Mattotti and Zentner's The Crackle of the Frost.  We actually talk about it, finally!

54:59-1:13:33: And from there, Jeff and Graeme go on to discuss Jennifer Blood, as conceived by Garth Ennis and executed by Al Ewing.

1:13:33-1:22:51: And from one crime book to another, we also talk about Stumptown issue 2.1 by Greg Rucka and Matthew Southworth. With special guest appearances by John Updike and J.D. Salinger!

1:22:51-1:30:24: And from there we got to Dave Stevens' The Rocketeer?  I think it says something great about the current state of the comics marketplace that we can talk about three different type of pulp stories that are still a long ways away from superhero books.  Also, it's Graeme's turn to take a powder while Jeff gets to talk directly with the listeners.

1:30:24-2:16:04: Phone calls! From listeners!  We have them, and they are awesome.  Many thanks to Voodoo Ben, Alex, Robert G., Sean Witzke, J.L. Blair (whose call did not survive the round-the-world treatment, sadly and whom I initially misidentify, to boot) and Derek (or Garrett?).  Though most of the calls are just well-wishes, we do tackle a suggested topic--Jim Starlin at Marvel in the '70s, '80s and '90s--at some length, as per Alex's request.  Who says this isn't the Golden Age for Whatnauts?

2:16:04-2:26:31: Jeff, whose attention span is crushed, all but leaps in mid-answer from talking about Hank Pym to discussing Bloodshot.  Graeme, for his part, has been catching up on old issues of Milestone Shadow Cabinet issues. Add 'em all together and you get...Chaykin's Black Kiss 2 #2?  Not really, but we end up talking about that as well as well as the pretty brilliant (non-comix, though there's a chart or two) book by Jarett Kobek, If You Won't Read, Then Why Should I Write?

2:26:31-end: And then, because it wouldn't be a Wait, What? podcast without goofy technical difficulties, Graeme turns into the Lord of the Flies again, a clear sign to sign off. (Although we also manage to praise Bandette #2, Double Barrel, the xckd strip Click & Drag, and Dustin Harbin's Boxes before we're done).  At one point, I'm laughing while Graeme is talking, and it just sounds like there should be the sounds of a building burning down and maybe some backmasked electric guitars...which is maybe the most fitting way to celebrate our hundredth episode?  Lord only knows what we'll sound like by episode 150....

Anyway, you should be able to find it on iTunes (although there's now that whole bullshit separate app for Podcasts, can you believe it?) as well as your RSS feeder of choice.  Alternately, you can take a swing at the audio pinata below:

Wait, What? Ep. 100: Year Zero

And then next week...Ep. 101?  (Man, I gotta go fan myself on the divan at the thought of it!) In any event, whether this is your first time listening to Wait, What? or your one hundredth, we hope you enjoy and thank you for listening!

A buncha zeroes

Yeah, so the DC "Zero month", hows that working out?

(I know this is lazy bloggery, finding an easy theme and going from there, but in my defense it took me longer to write the Tilting than I thought it was going to take, and I gave Kimbrough the weekend, so I've been working a crazy lot recently. I'm sleepy!)

One thing I'm not going to do is be all dumb and try to review each and every one of these comics -- my head still aches from doing that with the #1s. So, just overviewy time, I think. Let's start with some new books?

PHANTOM STRANGER #0: There are some characters -- like, say, Wolverine -- who stay much more interesting when there're bits of them shrouded in mystery. Knowing that ol' Logan used to be a foppish little child who wore a night dress... well it kind of diminishes him, I think. Much the same with the Phantom Stranger, whose very appeal IS IN HIS NAME. "I...am a stranger."

So, turning him (actually) into Judas Iscariot (with his trademark '70s love-disk necklace becoming the literal 30 pieces of silver) is... well, ill-considered, at best, right?

What you need to remember is that when there was an issue of "Secret Origins" about The Phantom Stranger in the 80s, DC was clever enough to give him four different possible origins. That's smart, and really kind of amusing really. But, no, today we need to be all literal. Ugh.

It's a bad idea though to really underline that both the God of the Old Testament and the "Council of Wizards" on display here who are handing out apparently handing out god-like powers and conditions and, like, the Greco-Roman pantheons all exist in the same world. You CAN make it work, but mostly by God being indirect, but in this first issue we're already well off the rails, as Dan Didio conflates The Phantom Strangers origin with that of The Spectre. Oh boy.

So, follow along: PS *is* Judas, condemned to "walk this land until the debt for your sins is paid". And, when PS levels up, one of the thirty pieces of silver drops from his chain. (!)

So, let's think about the storytelling problems with this set-up.

First and foremost, "Redeeming Judas" is a fairly distasteful Plot -- 30 level-ups and PS is forgiven for killing the Son of God, really? We're going to make Adolph Hitler the next Green Lantern, next? Yikes!

The second problem is that PS' first level-up comes from encouraging Jimmy Corrigan along a path that makes him The Spectre. In other words, he earns his first level-up from essentially *betraying* Corrigan, not helping him. This version of God is a supremely large asshole, doncha think? Didio tries to kind of be coy about the involvement of God by being all "I'm not sure whose Voice it really is", but this is all put to a lie at the end when the Voice clearly has the power to not only create, but to control The Spectre.

Theologically, cosmologically, this thing is just a horrid mess -- it feels like the kind of idea come up with at 3 in the morning, the night before your solicitation copy is due, when someone panics and points out that someone counted wrong, and you only have 51 books in the third wave. It's just possible that maybe, the setup could be messaged to make work, but it would take a much more skilled writer than Didio to rise above the errors of the plot.

Brent Anderson's art is nice, of course, but otherwise this comic is a fairly insane mess. Flatly AWFUL.

TEAM 7 #0: Here's a book whose premise I really don't understand: is it meant to be permanently set in the past? It's a "flashback" series? That won't work, not with these characters, at least... ugh, and my first week sales really show that (3 copies only? ruh roh). Wow, I'll be selling zero copies by issue #6 for certain.

The problem is, kinda, that this is retarded: they won't tell us the backstories of, say, the JLA in the "five year gap", but they want people to buy a team that includes Grifter and Deathstroke... characters in the bottom 20% of DC sales? And that it is a mixed hybrid of WS and DCU at that? Ew. It's all guns and ammo pouches and belts and shoulder pads... and really nothing that almost anyone in the modern audience is really interested in at all.

The other problem is there are at least 9 team members introduced in this first issue (but only seven on the cover, so guessing a few of those are introduced-to-die), plus "control" from Lynch -- and introducing all of THAT doesn't leave any room for, y'know, actual plot.

I'm giving this a Thumbs Down, but from pure craft, it's not any worse than OK.

EARTH 2 #0: I was really wondering how the LAST wave of books was going to work, considering they had just started and all that, and here's one answer: it feels like James Robinson had no idea what to do with this interruption to his world building -- most of this issue is really just a minor redo of issue #1, now with more Terry Sloan. Pity, I was groovin' on this until now. OK.

GREEN LANTERN CORPS #0: Some of these books are playing "fast and loose" with continuity, and this one might be a good example: Guy Gardner has a TOTALLY different origin here than in the original comics -- here, he's the fully trained sector partner of Hal Jordan, plus he's a failed cop from a family of cops. In the original, Guy was a gym teacher who missed being a GL by a few feet, geographically, then was rescued from a coma by a rogue Guardian during the first Crisis. So... I guess none of those Englehart/Staton issues actually happened, then? But... if none of that happened, then... how did Hal ultimately go nuts, and become Parallax, which lead to the Rebirth, which lead to the Blackest Night? Add that to the other characters that couldn't have participated in that story, then how was GL #1 a follow-up to Brightest Day? Oh god, oh god, my head hurts! THIS is why the "five year gap" simply doesn't work -- you tug on one thread and all of a sudden all of the rest of it falls apart.

If you want a laugh (or maybe I'm the only one who is laughing), go look up the Wiki page for Guy Gardner and watch how BOTH his pre- and post-DCnU are expressed on the page, jumping back and forth between them paragraph by paragraph. Silly.

This new origin is pretty EH -- it makes Guy Just Another Corpsman, rather than the complex contradiction he used to be. Oh Well.

GREEN LANTERN #0: It's actually kind of nice to read a #0 that's contemporary, AND an origin, AND will be followed up directly next month. The new GL is Muslim-American -- how timely. And, of course, his "origin" involves 9/11 and being mistaken for a terrorist. OF COURSE.

And, sure, 9/11. 2001. Which is made explicit in GL #0, since it's more than 10 years ago, by captions. But, of course, BATMAN #0 takes place "six years ago"... making Bruce and Kal and everything else explicitly post-"War on Terror" and, Jesus, doesn't THAT change the characters dramatically? And that, folks, is why you NEVER tie superhero comics to explicit dates or historical events -- my son was 3 years old when the JLA started? *headsplode*

Anyway, back to GL -- I'm pretty cool with this new setup, except for the cover, I think -- why does the muslim GL have to wear a gimp mask and carry a gun (!) when he's got a MAGIC WISHING RING on the end of his fist? Why wear a mask like that when your EXTREMELY DISTINCTIVE tattoo is all lit up in green light?

But, even with all of that, this COULD work... if only GL didn't launch into a four-month, four-book crossover next month. *sigh*

Even with all that, I kind of thought it was a low GOOD.

BATMAN #0: As I noted before, this goes the furthest back in the "near past", set SIX years ago. But, I think this might have been one of the most effective #0s I've read so far as it really did try to add to the legend of Batman, showing us something we've never seen before, with pre-costume batman-ing. And, I frankly loved the backup story (mostly from the art by Andy Clarke), even with the whole Jason's-an-accessory-to-murder bit (which is reasonably fine with his character) -- so, yeah, I'm going to say this one is VERY GOOD, even if the timeline makes zero sense.

OK, books almost arriving today, I'm out of time... as always, what did YOU think?

-B