Starting off slow; Hibbs on 7/23/14

OK, spam  on the site locked down, new store pretty close to squared away, maybe I am now in place to start reveiwin' again.  I've certainly been missing it somewhat. I can't promise this will be every week (in fact, I think I feel confident in announcing that this will NOT be each and every week... unless I do one of those Patreon thingies, in which case then it would be a paid job, and thus an obligation.  But I'm not thinking about doing that until I can prove to MYSELF that I can stay on this horse for a little while. Let's just go full capsule-style under that jump.

AFTERLIFE WITH ARCHIE #6: Man, talk about a crazy good issue of a crazy good comic book. I wish these came out more frequently, sure, but damn if this isn't worth waiting for! EXCELLENT.

AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #4 SIN: The "weird" thing is that the Doc Ock stuff was really really really working, and there wasn't exactly a great creative reason to bring back Peter; and so much of the "what's next" appears to be tied up in multiple versions of Spider-Man, anyway, which less reason to bring back Peter, right? "Secret other spider-person locked in a vault for 10 years" is, I guess, a thing, but it strikes me that it is a thing that absolutely takes focus away from Peter and having's Peter's stories be about PETER (because, otherwise, why bring him back?).  I guess that's a long, tangled way of saying: EH.

BATMAN #33 (ZERO YEAR): Oh, oh, finally "Zero Year" ends.  I'm sure it will read pretty swell as a book, but as individual comics I mostly thought it was meandering and plodding.  However! I liked the end if only because it it was a generally cerebral conclusion, with a battle of wits at the core. I've got a strong GOOD in my heart for this.

BATMAN AND ROBIN #33 (ROBIN RISES): I have to say that I prefer a Batman who tries to, y'know, sneak around the JLA, to one who just quits when he doesn't get his way.  And damn if I don't think this book looks crazy fabulous, too -- but I'm having a great deal of cognitive dissonance with the DC universe insisting to me that Darkseid is actually a scary threat when I and you both know that he was always just All Talk in the previous continuity, while at the same time insisting that everything that had to do with Ras' al Ghul DID happen just like they've shown it before. So this storyline has me torn between "awesome!" and "Yeah, but no!".  A slightly less enthusiastic GOOD then?

BATMAN ETERNAL #16: With some more artistic consistency, this could be the greatest "big" Batman story ever (It's certainly more coherant than, say, "Knightfall" or "Cataclysm"), but, man, do I get whiplash of the art when reading this. I'm really liking the little game they're playing with the spectre here, and I like the "new" additions to the cast, and, yeah, I just generally think this is a golden age to be a Batman fan, I guess, so, here's a solid GOOD, too.

NEW 52 FUTURES END #12: I've lost the thread of this. I felt like I skipped an issue or something? But I didn't? Mostly I just don't care? Sales are horrific on it at both stores, too, so I guess I am not alone. AWFUL.

STAR SPANGLED WAR STORIES GI ZOMBIE #1: And now for thirteen words I never thought I would type: I was genuinely impressed with STAR SPANGLED WAR STORIES FEATURING GI ZOMBIE #1. Absolutely, positively not what I was expecting (felt very much like a gritty HBO pilot, not even slightly "Star Spangled"; had extremely realistic art, and low SFX, which is the opposite of what the covers promised). Color me shocked, this was VERY GOOD.  It will, however, be cancelled before a year is out, I'm sure. The cover and title is entirely wrong for the book.

SUPREME BLUE ROSE #1: If you're going to follow up on the Alan Moore notions of "The Supremacy", and so on, then this was nearly a perfect 90 degree turn away from the last version, I think.  I am intrigued by where this might go, but at the same time I am worried that Warren Ellis is only on for his usual six issues, in which case, why bother talking it up? It was clearly GOOD, though.

Hey, how about a graphic novel review?

SECONDS GN:  You know, I kind of loved Bryan Lee O'Malley's Chibi-style art here, and the narrative flow, but I absolutely hated the end of the story -- the protagonist learns not a thing, and rather things being driven by "Well, maybe I shouldn't change time/space because it hurts other people", the narrative is all driven by the protagonist's feelings and imaginary magical beings.  "A Wizard Did It" is, at the end of the day, crappy storytelling, and while one could totally forgive the shallow SCOTT PILGRIM for that (because I read that shallowness as an essential part of the story), one expects a little more from the "sophomore" work, doesn't one? I really liked the style and most of the execution of the work, but I thought as a piece of art it kind of failed the test of Humanity. Strongly OK is about as good as I can muster.

Right, so that's me this week.  What did YOU think?

-B

Spiders and such

Hey, the holidays are over, more free time becomes available, back to reviewing, I think. Yay? The "big news" of the month is all about Spider-Man, and I'd like to discuss ASM #700 and SSM #1, but will be doing so in several spoiler-ific ways.  If you don't want spoilers, don't travel below the "more" line (or, if you're on RSS, look away now)

I don't really know what it is with the general public, but they're pretty easily suckered, it seems like. A little media story of "Spider-Man is dead!" and they all come rushing in, waving stacks of money trying to cash in. That's not to say that they're ALWAYS fooled like that -- I mean when it was "Ultimate" Spider-Man, we didn't get that rush of people (even with Miles Morales being, on balance, a much better follow-through idea); but yeah, lots of suckers coming through this time. What I found interesting was how not so many of the regular comics readers seemed to bite at the apple on this -- deaths like Johnny Storm, or Superman or whatever usually have a large component of regular readers who are curious. Maybe it's the $8 price tag?

But we've STILL, two weeks later, got civvies breathlessly asking if we have ASM #700, and when they find out we do, trying to buy every single copy on hand (really? But.... if I did that, then there wouldn't BE  a copy to sell to YOU!) Ah, what can you do, other than smile and sell them the comic, knowing that they'd be better off leaving their $8 on a street corner for all of the chance they'll "make money from it!"

AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #700: Here's the thing: even though the set-up is as old as the hills (Oh, Jodie Foster, I had such a crush on you back in the 70s), and even though there's exactly zero chance that this storyline can possibly stick, or even have any real lasting consequences, I very much admire how Dan Slott approached it. The story has been seeded for a long time, built upon established lore, and has been executed with a sufficient sense of dread and skill. I want this up front: I like this plot, and I had a genuine "Oh, what happens next?!" moment or three.

But, in the context of the final issue of AMAZING SPIDER-MAN, or even as "just" an anniversary issue, I kind of didn't like this for the simple reason that Peter lost... and went down like a punk. I'm not dumb, I know that the story doesn't "end" here, but there's no triumph whatsoever in a space where there really should be a significant amount of it. Had this store been in, say,  #699? Well, that would have been a perfect kind of cliffhanger for an issue like that, but just not something that fits as the "final issue" of a serial which has been running, unencumbered and unchanged since 1963.

Worse still, as a reader, there's nothing on the page to lead me back to "SUPERIOR SPIDER-MAN #1", per se. I mean, as someone in the industry, clearly it's obvious to me that SSM will run a certain amount of time, and sooner or later the plot and thus the character and the title and the numbering will eventually return to ASM (#750?). Obviously, Peter Parker's story doesn't end here, and I know that because I've read a loooooooot of comic books in my life. But, if I DIDN'T know that? If I'm, say, one of the civvies coming in from the news story, who hasn't read a spidey comic in 20 years or more? Man, what a depressing story: our hero goes out as a deformed freak bleeding out in a gutter as his greatest enemy wins and literally takes over his life. Yeah, that's a hook to get me coming back for more.

Or hell, even for the low-information regulars. Man, I know the comics internet is huge and all-(time)-consuming, but I'd estimate that at least a third of my regulars don't "keep up on the news" -- their exposure to comics really is whatever they see in front of them on the stand on Wednesday. Our subber sign up on SSM has been lower to date, and I've already had more than one person tell me angrily that that isn't what they want to read.

Anyway, one other thing that has to be mentioned about ASM #700 is the price -- jinkies, $8! Almost $9 here because of sales tax. That's brutal by any standard, and even though it had two other, decent, Spidey shorts, that creates a lot of expectation from entertainment, I think. Better still, it's $16 for the three comics that tell this story, and they're actually going to ask $25 for the collected hardcover. Like I said: jinkies.

When you add it all up, even though I generally liked the general verve and the specific audacity of the plot, I'm utterly unnerved by pricing and marketing decisions that surround it, and it makes me throw my hands in the air, and average it out to an EH.

SUPERIOR SPIDER-MAN #1: To a certain extent, the question is whether or not you're interested in spending $4 every two weeks for a SpOck comic -- I mean, if I didn't get to read them for free, I don't know that I'd be willing to do that.

The protagonist is arrogant, is selfish, is cowardly, is leering -- nothing that I want in a protagonist, in short.

I also have a certain amount of problem with "having cake and eating it-ism" -- rather than being ASM #701 (maybe blurbed "1ST ISSUE in a all-now direction!" or something), this is being made out to be a different series. From a story POV, this marks a very not-Peter era of Spidey, but Parker's "spirit" shows up on the last page(s) to show that it is still very much his story. I'm not opposed to that, per se, but I think it undercuts almost all of the inherent drama of the situation now that we're explicitly told he's coming back. Don't trigger that suspension-of-disbelief-sense -- to a large degree, I don't think that the beat was EARNED yet... SpOck attempting to kill someone would, I think, be a much better culmination of a storyline, than randomly happening in issue #1. With Parker already back on the plate (and, sure, maybe it will take quite some time to play out), I think the story dramatically undercuts itself.

Then, I think, the story becomes about Parker's return, rather than SpOck's struggle with heroism, and I think, "well, people are interested in death and struggle, but return stories are usually bombs" -- just look at the difference in market reaction between SUPERMAN #75 and ADV OF SUPERMAN #500, right?

We're selling SSM #1 better so far than ASM #699, BUT *most* of those sales are "Wow, you still have it in stock, my local store is out" indicating that those aren't sales that are going to especially "stick" for me over any reasonable time horizon.

So, yeah, I'd feel different about this if it was ASM #701, than I do as SSM #1, but because the protagonist really is so loathsome, I'm going with, I guess, a mild OK.

That's what I think, anyway, what do YOU think?

-B

Wait, What? Ep. 108: Frightful

I love, love, love that lonely little "beep."

Man, the holiday season, amirite? Emerging from the primordial swamp of Black Friday, Cyber-Monday, Fat Tuesday and Sexting Sunday, it's the show notes for Wait, What? Ep. 108...right behind the jump!

0:00-6:15:  Here we go!  Graeme is in a seasonal mood; Jeff is having tech problems again (the very expensive microphone he picked up?  Had to be sent back and repaired under warranty).  But we are both existential crisis free!  And if you're upset that there aren't any new episodes of "Let's Complain About Our Deadlines and Schedules" podcast, this is the five minutes for you. 6:15-19:16: Here's a dirty secret: I don't usually edit a lot of our on-line talk out but this season I thought I'd try to give all of you the gift of brevity.  There was actually a ten minute conversation about the Angus T. Jones and the Two and a Half Men controversy that I decided to cut just….uh, I dunno?  It had a natural flow to it but it also seemed a little digressive--even by our notoriously loose standards.  So I just cut (clumsily) in to the next "celebrities--what were they thinking?" story we talked about--the recent controversy with James Gunn.  (Our conversation took place just a  few hours before his issued apology.)  Do you guys have a preference about this kind of thing?  Would you rather hear our conversations unfold naturally, or would you just prefer we try to keep the podcast focused on the pertinent parts?  Let us know in the comments… 19:16-35:04:  Anyway, from there, we segue smoothly into talking about whether or not comics culture is inherently misogynistic or not.  Appropriately enough for such a broad topic (uh, pun is not intended there), we cover a lot of ground, talking about Journey Into Mystery and Red She-Hulk, the first issue of Bleeding Cool Magazine, and more. 35:04-35:26:INTERMISSION ONE 35:26-42:40:  All-New X-Men #2.  Graeme has read it; Jeff has not. So join us as Mr. Former fills in Mr. Latter on the story, the art, and  the overall not-as-terribleness of the first issue. 42:40-59:22: Jeff, oddly enough, has read Avengers #34 and New Avengers #34, Bendis' last issues and gets to turn the tables on Mr. Former. It leads into a discussion about whether the art is serving the storytelling in Marvel's current books with books like Indestructible Hulk #1 by Mark Waid and Leinil Yu. 59:22-1:14:40: Captain America #1 by Rick Remender and John Romita, Jr.: read by both, viewed skeptically by both (though more by one of us than the other).  For bonus points, we compare and contrast with Uncanny Avengers #2, and then sort of compare and contrast similar-seeming storylines running through the universe. Coincidence? Too much influence of one creator on another?  Not enough? 1:14:40-1:18:01: Also reviewed at the same time, FF #1 by Matt Fraction and Mike Allred by Mr. McMillan. 1:18:01-1:28:22: Amazing Spider-Man #698 by Dan Slott and Richard Elson is also discussed and *fully spoiled* by Graeme and Jeff.  Let the listener beware! 1:28:22-1:34:20: Iron Man #2 by Kieron Gillen and Greg Land, wherein Graeme coins the term "Greg Land face." Can we see a cure for Greg Land face in our lifetime? Also, bonus points to Graeme for the unexpected shout out to Jack Kirby's Silver Star.  God bless you, Graeme McMillan. 1:34:20-1:35:40: INTERMISSION TWO 1:35:40-1:48:45: Although Jeff wants to maneuver Graeme back into waters into which poor Graeme does not want to go--Grant Morrison's annotations about Alan Moore's opinions on Grant Morrison--we settle instead for discussing Batman Incorporated #5 by Grant Morrison and Chris Burnham.  What can we say?  Sometimes we choose peace instead of war.  That said, Jeff thinks there may be some really interesting subtext in the issue but isn't quite sure where.  Come, puzzle it out with us, won't you? 1:48:45-1:52:39:  Also under discussion, because Jeff is wayyyyyy behind the times, a discussion of Action Comics #14 by G-Moz and Rags Morales. 1:52:39-1:59:27:  Flash #14!  And then some stuff about Judge Dredd because that's what we do these days: talk about Judge Dredd. 1:59:27-2:02:30:  Hey Angel & Faith #16 is a book Graeme was impressed with.  Jeff drags the full spoilers out of Graeme so forewarned--do not listen unless you've read the issue (or, like Jeff, kinda don't care). 2:02:30-2:07:33:  And continuing in the "Let Us Now Praise Non-Big Two Comics" section, Jeff really, really liked Witch Doctor: Mal Practice #1 and Multiple Warheads #2.  Alas, because Graeme had read also read Multiple Warheads, we spend the vast majority of the time talking about that very fine comic and Witch Doctor: Mal Practice #1 unfortunately gets short shrift by comparison. But they're both great! 2:07:33-2:23:02:  Also, a book we both read and decide to chew the fat about:  Masks #1 by Chris Roberson and Alex Ross.  For those of you who play that drinking game where you do a shot every time Jeff gets some little detail utterly wrong, prepared to get snockered. 2:23:02-2:24:20:  Though he doesn't go through them in anything like detail, Jeff read ten volumes of Hikaru No Go (vols. 7-17)  and totally loved it. That was some very enjoyable manga right there. 2:24:20-end: A super-super-super-short discussion about Shonen Jump Alpha going day and date with some stories in 2013. 2000AD online is also mentioned, as is Jeff's wont these days. And then we are out of there…for another week.

This is a thing that is already out there, people, already haunting the diaphanous underworld that is iTunes.  But, of course, you are more than likely to gather around the seance table, join hands, and perform the secret spell of conjuration below:

Wait, What? Ep. 108: Frightful

As always, we hope you enjoy, and thank you for listening.

Wait, What? Ep. 107: Hardly Working

Australian, as she is spoke--from All-New X-Men #1, by Brian Bendis and Stuart Immonen

So, I am loathe to admit it...but I totally did that thing where I was running under the gun and so the show notes have a certain je ne sais LEAVE FIFTY THOUSAND IN THE TRASH CAN AT EAST ENTRANCE OF CENTRAL PARK OR SHE IS DEAD quality to them.

Nonetheless, after the jump: show notes!

0:00-4:09:  Greetings!  Opening remarks with just a hint of foreshadowing.  Also, thanks to the generosity of listeners, Jeff has read some Marvel NOW! titles (his first current Marvel titles in several months), and that ends up having a pretty big influence on this week's podcast. (And sorry for the hiss and crackle there are the very intro--I assure you it doesn't return.) 4:09-14:09:  In fact, after running down the issues we've read ( and as Graeme points out, it really was quite a bumper week for new comics) and get right into discussing some of the overall tone to the Marvel NOW! books. 14:09-20:24: Moving from the tone of Marvel editorial in the Marvel NOW! books, we steer into a bit of the ol' meta, and talk about the recent news regarding scheduling and art chores on Uncanny Avengers. 20:24-42:09: And because Jeff has now read Uncanny Avengers #1, we talk about that issue a bit. Also? Captain America--when does he work?  Jeff doesn't really know, but he's going to talk about it, anyway. 42:09-43:53: Foreshadowing has come to pass!  Tech disaster!  It's stuff we should edit out but we're not going to because, uh, of the candor.  Yeah, that's it! We're candid! 43:53-51:29: We get back to talking about what we were talking about (Captain America and the Avengers movie), which Graeme uses as a segue to talk about Avengers Assemble #9 by Kelly Sue DeConnick and Stefano Caselli. 51:29-51:52: Intermission one! (of one?) 51:52-1:19:10:  And we are back to talk about All-New X-Men #1 by Brian Bendis and Stuart Immonen.  Who liked it less?  We're still not sure, but there is a ton of stuff we didn't like. 1:19:10-1:26:14:  Iron Man #1 by Kieron Gillen and Greg Land!  We are split on this one, but there are things liked by the person who didn't like it much and things disliked by the person who overall liked it fine.. 1:26:14-2:19:54:  Fantastic Four #1 by Matt Fraction and Mark Bagley!  Graeme has read it; Jeff has not. Come for the observations about the FF, stay for our talk about "working harder" as a cornerstone of creative criticism. And what do we really need to have a good superhero comic?  Plot? Motivation? Characterization? "Hard work"?  There is discussion about these very important ideas…and then there is even more shit-talking about Brian Bendis. Also, there is discussion about an AvX #6: Infinite, and quick takes on A+X #1 (Jeff), Saga #7 (Graeme), Batman #14 (Graeme), Suicide Squad #14 (Graeme), Batgirl #14 (Graeme), Saucer Country #9 (Graeme), Zaucer of Zilk #2 (Graeme), and Amazing Spider-Man #698 (Graeme, and with possible spoilers), 2000 AD Prog #1809 (both of us), the brilliant "Choose Your Own Xmas" by Al Ewing and John Higgins from Prog #2012 (Jeff), and Tune by Derek Kirk Kim. (Also, Jeff forgot to talk about Thor: God of Thunder by Jason Aaron and Esad Ribic but he should have because it was easily the Marvel NOW! book he enjoyed the most. 2:19:54-end:  Closing comments! Since this is getting released the week of Thanksgiving, what are Graeme and Jeff grateful for? Some of the choices are a bit odd (Misfits, really?)  and a bit vague, but it's a good note on which to end the podcast…and gives me hope that we can totally get Graeme to take his holiday spirit to absolutely insane levels as the holiday season kicks into gear.

This fine episode should be available to those Whatnauts with access to iTunes or the show's RSS feed.  Otherwise, you are welcome to give it the ol' audio once-over below:

Wait, What? Ep. 107: Hardly Working.

We're not recording this week, what with Thanksgiving and all, which means no podcast next week, but...that just gives you more of a chance to catch up with the 100+ episodes we currently have available to you free of charge, yeah?  As always, we hope you enjoy and thank you for listening!

Wait, What? Ep. 98: Gorilla With An Eyepatch

Gorilla with an eyepatch/ I know, I know/ It's really serious... from Boom!'s Betrayal of the Planet of the Apes by Corinna Bechko and Gabriel Hardman

We are creeping ever-closer to magic number 100, as you are probably aware.  But, hey, why fixate on the future?  There's every possibility the world could be thrown into cataclysmic upheaval, giving rise to a world of intelligent rifle-wielding apes that, as here, look cooler than all hell.

So let's just pay attention to where we're at, and what's happening now, and also...show notes!

0:53-3:53:  Some tough work engagements for Graeme this week!  Let him tell you about it.

3:53-11:23:   For example, Graeme talks the Siegel-Schuster lawsuit and the recent article written about the Schuster side of the lawsuit.  For those of you who like Mr. McMillions when he's having ambivalent feelings, these seven and a half minutes are for you.

11:23-19:48:  And then in this corner... Rob Liefeld vs. DC, just weeks after aggravating Marvel's editors. Are you on Team Rob or Team Big Two? (Or is there no Team Big Two?)

19:48-22:41:  And then one of those wacky tech problems pop up and necessitate a call back.  Minor slight delay and then minor chitchat about the Internets.

22:41-38:18: Back to Rob Liefeld vs DC:  Graeme talks about why this story will blow things open wide for DC, while Jeff is not so sure.  It moves into a conversation about emotional attachments to creators, companies, and concepts.

38:18-42:28:  Challenged about what comics can be read in five minutes, Jeff talks briefly about the twelfth issues of Flash, Batwoman, and Wonder Woman, and compares them a bit with Batman, Inc. #3.

42:28-49:08:  Also, Jeff has lots of good things to say about the Betrayal of the Planet of the Apes trade paperback with gorgeous art by Gabriel Hardman (see above) and a strong script by Hardman and Corinna Bechko.  As an Apehead who's late to this book, I have to say it's pretty darn great.

49:08-56:26: And as we are on a recommending roll, Graeme recommends the first issue of Mark Waid and Chris Samnee's Rocekteer: Cargo of Doom.

56:26-1:05:04:  And then, just to keep the balance, Graeme reviews Before Watchmen: Dr. Manhattan #1.  He... is not pleased. The phrase "eye-bleedingly bad" may end up being used.  A bit of stuff about BW: Rorschach is included for your enjoyment.

1:05:04-1:14:08:  Also under Graeme's four color microscope, Amazing Spider-Man #692.  (Jeff requests you ignore most of his comments in this section as they are even more befuddled than usual. Thx.)

1:14:08-1:37:21:  Invited to talk about stuff he's read and liked this week, Jeff declines and instead chooses to complain about...movies.  More specifically, Captain America The First Avenger which is on Netflix Watch Instantly. Also discussed: The Bourne Legacy and Battleship.

1:37:21-1:42:30:  Of course, that trifecta of movie cannot help but inevitably lead to Graeme talking about...Bunheads.  Well, sure.  Of course.

1:42:30-1:54:22:  And then, because somehow we end up out of time, we mention more comics we also find noteworthy SAGA #6, Fatale #7, Batman Inc. #3, Mind MGMT #4, and Glamourpuss #26.  Also some speedy head-scratching from Jeff about the Butcher Baker blow-up.  What does it mean to be a critical darling? Is there a "tastemaker" for comics on the Internet?

1:54:22-end:  And here is where we open up the question to you, our listeners:  have you ever bought a book based on something we said?  If so, what and how'd it go?  Who are the people in the comics blogosphere you consider tastemakers?  We want to know!  So you know...sound off in the comments, please.

Maybe this auditory apparition has haunted the forlorn witch-house called iTunes, perhaps not.  But you can cross the streams, so to speak (not recommended, I know), and also listen below:

Wait, What? Ep. 98: Gorilla With An Eyepatch

And, as always, thank you for listening!

Jeff "Reviews" The Amazing Spider-Man film

I mean, I kinda hate saying "reviews," when the proper term for it is really, uh, "bitches about," but feel free to join me behind the jump for scattered thoughts (seriously, really scattered thoughts) about the Amazing Spider-Man movie. Think of me like your virtual movie buddy! You know, the one you didn't come with, but who is sitting directly behind you in the otherwise empty matinee performance muttering comments under his breath because he is lonely, oh god so terribly, terribly lonely.

AMAZING SPIDER-MAN (the movie reboot):  As it goes, this is actually a pretty great recreation of the 1977 TV show starring Nicholas Hammond:  crap spidey-lenses, weird-looking suit modeled by a scoliotic stuntman with a half -yard of spandex riding up his asscrack, cipher-like villains, time-killing script, ear-stabbable music score...

Okay, it's not quite that bad, but it really is not very good. Almost all of the charms come from Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone, even though Garfield is a bit overly mannered and Stone's character has nearly nothing to do except react (usually to Garfield) and wordlessly emote (usually to Garfield).

(Though there is that one scene where Gwen, in order to keep her father from entering her room [although the way the scene is filmed, it doesn't really seem like he's about to], talks about her period to drive him away. Oh, 21st Century Hollywood! You really are the most progressive place on Earth, aren't you?)

The entire enterprise lives and dies by these two talented young actors seriously committing to leaden material that's utterly uninterested in humanity but also lip-puckeringly absorbed in its continuity revisions. It's kind of unfair but that appears to be the state of Hollywood these days: an entire generation of craftsmen contributing their end of the affair with the help of excel spreadsheets, screenwriting programs, and small armies of non-unionized computer programmers and animators, and then tossing the resulting quasi-homogeneous paste -- with a shrug and an "eh, you're the one getting paid millions of dollars, you figure it out" -- at the thespians.

I know a lot of people really liked 500 Days of Summer, which struck me as similarly dull-as-hell-but-for-the-charms-of-its-leads.  I guess it is this eye for talent that has allowed Marc Webb to overshoot the "director of more than two dozen Sunny D commercials" destiny his abilities would otherwise suggest.

Most of the other actors are...okay, I guess? Rather than try and make Dennis Leary look like the original Captain Stacy (a pretty smart call since the original looked like John Romita, Sr. trying to draw Vitamin Flintheart), they went with...I don't know, Donald O'Connor from Singing In The Rain?  Something went weird with Leary's face, that's for sure, but maybe that was all stuff he did to himself? I admit it, I spent some time in wondering if, after they hired him, the producers recognized  Leary's superficial resemblance to Willem Dafoe, the first franchise's Green Goblin, and decided to change up his features.

(I also admit to idly wondering at one point what Bill Hicks' Captain Stacy would've been like -- "Gwen, come down here and eat this hash twinkie! And stop hanging out with that Parker kid...he looks like a fucking narc!" -- as well as what other roles Hicks might've ended up playing in Hollywood if he were still alive.  You know, would he have disappeared into the woodwork and only came back when Judd Apatow cast him as the dad in Undeclared? Or would he have kind of carved out this secondary career for himself while still doing comedy, a la Louis C.K. or what?  Anyway, I only got as far as: bit roles in Soderbergh's Traffic, The Limey, and Ocean's 13; Howard Cosell in Michael Mann's Ali; and the voice of voice of Paul in Paul; it'd be awesome if he'd, like, gotten cast in the Kevin Spacey role in American Beauty and gone on to this whole other level but I just can't see that happening, which tells you something sad about how much fantasy I can bear to bring to my fantasy universes.)

I could tell you about the plot and stuff so you could feel like you were getting a real "review" but...why?  There's not really much of one, to be honest: after burglars break in at the Parker home, Dad Parker and Ma Parker leave young Peter with Ben and May, promising they'll be back soon.  Then they die in some plane crash type thing and Peter becomes Andrew Garfield, a twenty-nine year old man pretending to be a teenager who walks around with a skateboard and a camera and who sticks up for the little guy despite being unable to lift his arms except to convey inarticulacy a la James Dean in Rebel Without A Cause.

Then he comes across his dad's briefcase which has some stuff in it including a picture of that guy who got naked in Notting Hill who's now working at Oscorp.  Peter goes there to get close to the guy who got naked in Notting Hill...to find out what he knew about his parents, I guess?  But by then, there are spider bites and mouse mutations and a weird-ass video game and yakkity yakkity yakkity and by the time the movie is over, you realize Peter never got around to asking any questions about his parents and in fact doesn't really seem to give a shit, and this is even before you realize the movie sells out its tragic ending twice before the final credits roll.

Oh, and they break Spider-Man, which kinda sucks.

See, in the movie, Uncle Ben gets shot by a blond dude who has just robbed a bodega (where Peter didn't do anything to stop him, of course).  So Peter becomes obsessed with finding the guy, and he begins listening to a police scanner, and starts wearing a modified wrestler's outfit, and running around in the night, and well, okay, this is 2012, right, so they got to update some stuff, fine, I get it.

But here's the thing: Peter never finds the guy. He keeps busting various blond dudes and none of them are the actual guy.  (They lack the crucial tattoo on the inside of his wrist Peter and the audience sees when the guy robs the bodega.)

And then later, when Peter has dinner at the Stacy household, Captain Stacy starts talking about this crazy vigilante running around who has to be stopped. And Peter does the old "stick up for your alter ego" shtick, saying "oh, I don't know, I think this guy is doing something the cops can't" and "this Spider-Man is actually interested in justice."  (Of course, since Garfield overcommits to the role a wee tad, it's stunning nobody at the table goes, "Wait a minute. That guy is you, isn't it?")

But what's worse is, he's wrong.  The way the scenario is set up in the movie, Peter is out for vengeance.  He's not acting from a sense of guilt, or the knowledge that with great power, comes great responsibility.  (Unless they somehow dramatically misunderstood that expression and they're trying to show that, yeah, Peter now feels greatly responsible for his uncle's death.)

Although they show Spider-Man doing heroic stuff in this movie (and the setpiece on the bridge is actually quite good), he is, for the most part, not a hero.  To the extent you see him helping fight crime, it's only because he thinks the guy might be the person who killed Uncle Ben.  When Peter is sticking up for Spidey at that dinner table, the people responsible for the movie have screwed things up so badly that he's actually wrong.  Spider-Man isn't interested in justice in this film: he's interested in vengeance and it's not the same thing.

It's weird. I'm a big obsessive Spider-Man nerd (so much so that (a) I spent no small amount of time in this movie thinking that C. Thomas Howell in the bridge sequence actually looks like a guy Steve Ditko would draw, he has that exact same "thin lip/mouth bursting to the brim with teeth thing" Ditko does, and (b) I kept getting distracted by how much the Lizard actually looked more like the Scorpion in close-up) and I never considered how essential it is that the guy who shot Uncle Ben is caught in the very first story.

(Looks like every guy Mr. A ever punched, doesn't he?)

But if you don't have it happen, you risk fucking up something kinda inherent in the character: some quality to his anguish and his decency gets tarnished because he's no longer helping people out of a yearning for expiation that so clearly cannot be granted it becomes indistinguishable from goodness. Even with an actor so good I wish I'd been watching him through the three Sam Raimi movies (of which the second is the only one for which I have any affection and the only one which I'd actually call something close to a good movie), this Spider-Man is not only struck me as EH, and not so much "amazing" as "ersatz."

Wait, What? Ep. 92: Brave Faces

Above: the Tomato Bs waffle, which is tomatoes, brie and basil on a savory liege waffle, from The Waffle Window, Portland, OR

So, never let it be said, we don't go the full nine yards for you here at Castle Wait, What?  For episode 92, not only did I drive 630 miles, set up and record this podcast in Graeme's attic, drive 630 miles back, mix, edit, and upload the podcast, but I also provided detailed show notes for you! Not sure if it's one time only thing or not, but join me behind the link so you can smoke it while you've got it!

So here is what Episode 92 of Wait, What? looks like from the air:

1:18-3.53  : Greetings and apologies and caveats 3:53-7:18: The Avengers and the oddness of its worldwide profits 7:18- 8:51: The Amazing Spider-Man movie and how it's being marketed 8:51-22:59: Safety Not Guaranteed and a terrifying quasi-related Blair Witch Project story 22:59-26:33: WAFFLE WINDOW 26:33-31:38: Comics discussed with varying degrees of knowledge:  Kevin Huizenga's Gloriana and Chris Ware's Building Comics. 31:38-33:46: Digression: our dynamic revealed! Somehow, Quincy, M.E. is involved. 33:46-39:48: The Wire and the process of entertainment, including Bill Drummond and Jimmy Cauty's The Manual: How to Have a Number One the Easy Way and Jeff tries his hand at a Venture Bros. plot. 39:48-55:28: More comics discussed! Batman: Earth One by Geoff Johns and Gary Frank.  Should you expect a Batman book by Geoff Johns or a Geoff Johns book with Batman in it?

--55:28-56:10:  A brief break--

56:10-57:49 :Zaucer of Zilk and David Brothers and Graeme on why Graeme associates it with Casanova 57:49-1:02:58: Comic news: Spider-Man and Alpha... 1:02:58-1:06:05: ...and Marvel teasers for its latest "War" event and online reaction to Graeme's online reaction 1:06:05-1:06:53: Obligatory magical Portland library shout-out... 1:06:53-1:08:18: And the obligatory explanation of Jeff and his Marvel Comics boycott/abstinence... 1:08:18-1:13:48: The Brubaker interview at Comics Reporter and the state of Icon (warning: includes slight Kick-Ass discussion) 1:13:48-1:22:53: SDCC, the announcement cycle and what Marvel might have up their sleeve.  With discussion of the rumored Bendis and Immonen and biweekly X-Men book and other Marvel strategies. 1:22:53-1:39:18: Graeme tries to make Jeff cry with this column from iFanboy, resulting in a conversation that goes all over the place. 1:39:18-1:41:30: Closing comments of a kind as we realize we have broken the motorboat, so to speak.

Even without this roadmap, you may have already stumbled across the territory on iTunes.  Alternately, why not take the time to explore at your leisure below?

Wait, What?, Episode 92: Brave Faces

As always, we hope you enjoy and thanks for listening!

Wait, What? Ep. 77: The Pros and Cons of Hitch Hiking

(Illustration from Chapter 166 of Bakuman. Remember it's a right-to-left world out there.)

Remember how The Uncanny X-Men would, like, get psychically mind-raped by The Hellfire Club, or shot full of Brood babies and be torn apart from the inside, or bound and gagged to the inside of Magneto's rumpus room, and then afterward there'd be an issue of them playing baseball and walking around the recently rebuilt (since it had also been recently destroyed) mansion of Professor X?

This episode is a little bit like that, I guess, with Graeme and I recovering from answering (almost) everyone's questions and having ourselves quite the crazy time of it on the Internet.  So Episode 77 is two hours of amiable chitchat from your friends on the Wait, What? team talking Graeme's library picks, Spider-Island, the high initial ordering numbers of Avengers Vs. X-Men, our ignorance of current MTV reality shows, He Who Cannot Be Named, the pros and cons of going to the comic shop, The Hunger Games, Earth 2, Dr. Who, Tintin, and that one movie with Christian Bale and the gun-fu, as well as the One Piece Meets Toriko (which I brain-deadedly call "Tobiko" throughout) one-shot available from Shonen Jump Alpha.   (Which I almost ganked a picture from instead.)

Four out of five dentists who recommend choosy mothers choose iTunes, but Episode 77 is here, coiled and cautious, if you dare plunge your fists again and again into its evil, undying heart:

Wait, What? Ep. 77.1: The Pros and Cons of Hitch Hiking

As always, we hope you enjoy and thanks for listening!

Wait, What? Ep. 51.2: Nothing and All

What's that saying? "A day late and a dollar short?" The Early Bird Gets the Podcast Entry?" I don't know...something like that.

In any event, the rousing conclusion to Wait, What? Episode 51 is here with Graeme and myself talking X-Force #12, Captain America and Bucky #620, Witch Doctor #2, Walking Dead #87, Criminal: Last of the Innocent #2, Kirby Genesis #2, Dan Slott's Spider-Man and Paul Levitz's Legion of Super-Heroes, and -- believe it or not -- more.

Itunes? Why yes, it's there (or should be) but it is also very much here, ready to be listened to and perhaps even loved:

Wait, What? Ep. 51.2: Nothing and All

As always, we hope you enjoy it and appreciate your patronage!

Backwards Lap: Capsule Reviews from Jeff

Yes, dammit.  I am currently committed to this capsule review thing, if only because it forces Hibbs and Graeme to also write reviews and my WASPy upbringing inherently enjoys guilting people into stuff. After the jump: comics from last week, last year, and a very cool fan letter.

AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #169-173:  Still pretty much a mixed bag for me, but I do love how loose story plotting becomes during this period:  issue #169, for example, teases J. Jonah Jameson showing pictures proving that Peter Parker is Spider-Man, but that's barely more than three pages of the story and the rest has Spidey beating the crap out of people he encounters essentially at random.  #172 is the debut of the Rocket Racer, but he gets only the opening four pages and then the rest of the book sets up the return of the Molten Man...and even then, interestingly enough, the cliffhanger is Spider-Man being drawn on by two armed security guards.  (The first page of #173 is Spider-Man getting shot by one of those cops and escaping, only to get jumped by bystanders, one of whom has been taking mail-order kung fu lessons.)

I know I carp on this again and again but: although none of that shit would pass muster in your basic Bob McKee workshop (or, as I recall, Dan Slott's advice sessions on Twitter), it's very fun in the right doses and it helps contribute to that "man, anything can happen" feeling...even when every issue opens and closes with a fight scene, and you have Molten Man coming back from the dead and then dying for the fifth or sixth time.

All that said, the highlight of this batch of issues for me was the following letter from issue #169:

Yup. It's that Frank Miller, approximately nineteen years old, saying everything it's taken me the last thirty-five years or so to try and articulate...and doing a better job of it.  I'm heartened but not surprised to find out Miller's a fan of Andru...but the mention of John Buscema is a little odd.  I wonder if that's why the two of them worked on that very odd issue of Daredevil years later?

Anyhoo, it's all pretty low-stakes stuff but I honestly think it's OK or better. The nostalgia factor bumps it up to a low GOOD for me, but I don't think I should really factor that in.

CRIMINAL: THE LAST OF THE INNOCENT #1: I really shouldn't read interviews.  If I hadn't perused Brubaker's interview with Spurgeon over at Comics Reporter, I think it'd be easier for me to see this as an excellent take on the "guy kills his cheating wife" crime tale with the metatextual stuff being a nice little bonus. But having read the interview, I walked into this expecting the metatextual to be meaty and satirical and a brilliant insight on nostalgia and it was...just kinda okay.  I'm hoping there will be a way that stuff goes a little further: it seems to me that Criminal has always been packaged in a nostalgic way -- Sean Phillips' amazing covers clearly reference those Gold Medal Books, among others -- and I think it might be uniquely suited to comment on more than the "wow, now we think of the past as somewhere safe but it was fucked up, too" element of nostalgia, but the "we even miss the fucked up stuff" element that is a little more distressing.  Is it a form of innocence to pine for something evil? Or is it a sign of corruption? I think this book is going to address this stuff (god, I really hope so), but the first issue didn't really deliver on that for me.  It's still GOOD, mind you -- well-written and lovely as hell, but I'd been primed for something great.

FLASHPOINT: BATMAN: KNIGHT OF VENGEANCE #1:  Thomas Wayne as Batman? Don't care. The Flashpoint version of The Joker? Don't care.  Art by Eduardo Risso, colored by Patricia Mulvihill?  I didn't care...until I saw it. Risso's art is just eye-wateringly good and in the sewer fight scene he has this neat trick of using the page turn to up the surprise by reversing the angle or tightening the focus (or, in some cases, both).  A fight between Batman and Killer Croc in the sewers isn't anything we haven't seen before but I don't think I've ever seen it quite like this. I wish the story had been more than your usual alt-universe blather, but danged if this didn't strike me as a GOOD stuff, anyway.

HELLBOY: THE FURY #1:  Also, in the "Holy Shit, Look At This Art!" category is this book, which somehow manages to be jaw-droppingly beautiful from the first page to the last.  Like Flashpoint: Batman, I don't really care know or care what's going on, but the art by Duncan Fegredo (and colors by the amazing Dave Stewart) and the pacing of Mignola's script miraculously negates all that.  I felt flashes of dread and wonder and, more than once, something like awe.  (I guess this'll sound obvious to you if you've read the issue, but reading it made me feel exactly the way I did when I first watched John Boorman's Excalibur, that same weird mix of the epic and the creepy.) I always feel weird giving books VERY GOOD ratings or higher based on nothing more than just the art but here we are.  Amazing stuff.

JOURNEY INTO MYSTERY #623:  The art didn't fry my burger this time around but I'm still enjoying the story and Gillen's take on Loki.  In fact, the mix of classic myth and the story's own sensibilities reminds me of the stuff I'm reading in the Simonson Thor Omnibus.  I wish the art didn't look so wispy, but I think I'm gonna give this one a VERY GOOD, nonetheless.

Spider-Man And His Amazing Three Year Comeback

It's odd to think of AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #647 as the end of an era, when the Big Time creative reshuffle is pretty much the same editorial team as Brand New Day editing a creative team that consists of the longest-surviving member of the Brand New Day braintrust and a revolving art-team that consists of Humberto Ramos and some surviving Brand New Day artists. It's really more of "a shift into an only-slightly different era," in a lot of ways, but saying that doesn't really allow for 64-page finale issues like this one. It's Good, I should say that now, but it's also not as good as BND at its best; there's too much of a sense of both, oddly, playing for time and rushing things, and a forced sense of occasion - Something that also plagued Mark Waid's "Origin of The Species" arc, I thought - and the result is something that's oddly unsatisfying despite all the different ingredients. One of the (unintended?) consequences it does have is making you realize how much writers like Fred Van Lente, Joe Kelly and Zeb Wells will be missed on the series, with their ability to balance making things seem fresh and also respectful of everything that's come before (Waid's talent on the series was something similar but different: The ability to use continuity in unexpected ways - I think Dan Slott, the new ongoing writer aims for somewhere between the two, but gets overwhelmed at times by the fact that he's working on a series that he clearly loves as a reader, and loses his nerve or lapses into fan service... even if he is the fan in question. Spider-Man brings out both the best and worst in him as a writer, which is both frustrating and exciting to see); their contributions are by far the best thing in the issue, surprising and silly and scary and sweet as needs be, showing off the versatility of the character.

(Waid's contribution, a one-page riff on the much-delayed Spider-Man musical, does manage to feature my favorite joke in the entire issue: "Fastest ticket lines on Broadway!" What can I say, I like the dumb/smart ones.)

The other thing that this issue makes you realize is how good BND has been for Spider-Man as a character, and as a series. Compare this to the JMS-era, and it's stunning to see how quickly the book has repopulated Spider-Man's supporting cast (and with mostly new creations!), and brought the tone back from the dark melodrama it was left to begin with; as much as BND was initially dismissed as retro, the three year run made changes that will hopefully stick as Big Time begins - I want to see more of Norah, Vin and Carlie, and Jonah as NYC Mayor, and Jonah Snr, and so on. It may not be the familiar characters - and I can't be the only one who notices that Harry Osborn is written out with the last issue of BND, just as he was written back in with the first, and after so much of the larger BND mythology revolved around him. Hopefully, he'll stay gone for a bit, to let the book move on - but Amazing Spider-Man has finally become the ensemble book it used to be, again, after far too many years of too many writers forgetting that part of its charm.

So, yeah. It's a good issue, and a weird capper to a three year run that started out weak but found its footing soon enough, and went on to make the mainstream MU version of the character the strongest he's been in more than a decade. As a prelude to Big Time next week, though, maybe it's a challenge: "We've built the book back up, Dan. Don't screw it up."

Some Comics from 8/25

Less time than I thought this week -- too much message boarding (How does any of those incessant Newsarama posters get ANYthing done in real life? Do they just post on their boss' dime all day or something? Are they all pale 13 year olds who never see the sun? Someone should do a study!), plus, last night our Television went out so we need to go buy a new one this morning. So just a quick couple of reviews so, y'know, they don't take my blogging rights away from me. By the way, do I need to insert possible spoiler warnings for the below? Or is it just assumed?

WORLDWATCH #1: If I know you well enough, you have really been missing a superhero comic with dialogue like Hero: "Face down -- Hands behind your back, jerkoff!" Villian: "Who you calling jerkoff, you bondage whore!!". I know you've wanted a comic where female characters lounge around with their shirts off on almost every page, where there's frank talk about sex, about superhero webcams, where one hero jerks off watching another pair couple. Yes, you've wanted this forever... but where could you get it? Where and from who? Must your life be an endless torment of despair and anguish as you can't find this certain one thing you've always secretly wanted?

Well, suffer no more, true believer! Chuck Austen feels your special pain, and he's here with the solution to all of your dark shameful little desires. Yes, it's WORLDWATCH -- the "mature" take on superheroes! Move over Watchmen! Step aside Authority! THIS IS WHAT THEY WANT!

Come on, where else are you going to hear an exchange like this: Male hero: "So, technically.... you're DEAD?" Female Hero: "Not in bed." YESSSSSSSSSSS! Excuse me, something has come up... if you know what I mean!

Awful.

ULTIMATE ELEKTRA #1: Meanwhile, on the other side of things, here's a comic predicated on gripping money laundering action! Oooh, hot! Elektra doesn't actually appear in this comic, at least not in the costumed sense. Which is fine with me, but this is probably too cerebral for anyone who normally follows the character. A strong OK.

CATWOMAN #34: Big reveal this issue -- turns out everything is Steph's fault. Which, when I first read it, made me go "Wow, that's clever!", but then I thought about it for a few minutes and decided that it was, instead, rather stupid. She's not be trained enough to know who Matches Malone is, yet she can take a secret destroy all crime from the bat-computer? And, wait, Batman doesn't recognize HIS OWN PLAN? Does that seem likely? And anyway, Matches is meant to take over the gangs? I thought the whole POINT of Matches was that he was an anonymous low level hood? Not boss-level, to be sure! I liked it as I was reading it, and I thought the coloring looked terrific on the nice art.... but I can't do more than a strong OK, because the end is so implausible.

BATMAN #631: I don't know that I really buy "Gasp! Batman murdered that girl!" at all -- this isn't Year One, after all. Plus, what's up with those panels where it looks like Batgirl (I think) snapping those guys necks? *shrug* A low OK.

GREEN LANTERN #180: First we get Dead Girlfriend in the Fridge, now we get Dead Mom in the Oven. Blech! Hey, and did anyone notice how Kyle (accidentally, I'm sure!) ended up desecrating his mother's warm corpse by blowing up the entire house? Neat! More one dimensional than the pages it is printed on. Awful.

SUPERMAN #208: A marginal improvement over the first few parts, but I still don't really get what's going on with "the vanishing" or what it means, or what caused it, or why I should care, or, really, anything. But, hey, at least the League looks cool. Eh.

AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #511: Oddly enough, JMS and Deodato doing MARY JANE'S THEATER ADVENTURES might be an interesting comic -- it held my interest more than the "You got your DNA in my peanut butter!" a-story, that's for sure. OK.

ASTONISHING X-MEN #4: While I'm a little bugged that Piotr is back (OR IS HE?!?!?!), mostly because he was the first of the "No, 'dead' MEANS 'dead'!" characters of the Quesada regieme, Kitty's reaction to same was super precious and makes up for a world of annoyances. I liked it: Very Good.

OK, out of time -- more later tonight, I hope.....

-B