Rich Johnston & WATCHMEN

Usually, I don't really mind when Rich Johnston gets something wrong -- usually it is future news, he's playing telephone, and publishers don't want to co-operate with him. He's going to get shit wrong, c'est la vie. But history? That's important to get right!

This morning, Rich opened a story like so: "Today, the final issue of Before Watchmen: Comedian is published, a couple of months late. Which is about how late the very original final issue of Watchmen was."

No.

NO!!!!

WATCHMEN was not (especially) late -- certainly not monthS!

Travel back to 1986, and comics really just weren't late at all -- in fact, they had ship WEEKS that, without fail, comics shipped in.  If the comic was going to be late? FILL-IN ISSUE. So I get why people who were there might FEEL that WATCHMEN was very late, because every other comic book around it shipped with clockwork precision.

Thanks to the Awesome John Jackson Miller, we can back things up with actual facts. To wit:

Cover Date Ship Date Capital City Orders C.C. Rank #1 book that month at Capital City Distribution
Watchmen #1 Sep-86 May 13 34,100 5th Classic X-Men #1
Watchmen #2 Oct-86 Jun 20 38,350 10th The Man of Steel #1
Watchmen #3 Nov-86 Jul 8 38,000 10th The Man of Steel #3
Watchmen #4 Dec-86 Aug 12 40,500 8th The Man of Steel #5
Watchmen #5 Jan-87 Sep 9 33,150 11th Superman Vol. 2 #1
Watchmen #6 Feb-87 Oct 14 32,700 15th Superman Vol. 2 #2
Watchmen #7 Mar-87 Nov 11 30,150 Prob. Uncanny X-Men #215
Watchmen #8 Apr-87 Dec 9 28,150 Prob. Uncanny X-Men #216
Watchmen #9 May-87 Jan 13 28,150 15th Uncanny X-Men #217
Watchmen #10 Jul-87 Feb 10 26,850 13th Uncanny X-Men #218
Watchmen #11 Aug-87 May 19 28,300 13th Punisher #1
Watchmen #12 (canc.) Oct-87 31,900 9th Uncanny X-Men #220
Watchmen #12 (res.) Oct-87 Jun 23 34,150 6th Uncanny X-Men #221

See? WATCHMEN shipped 12 issues in 13 months.

I get that 1986 is a long time ago, but let's give perfect fucking credit to WATCHMEN, one of the most intricate and clockwork of comics, one of the highest standards of comics craft and storytelling, AND IT (mostly) SHIPPED ON TIME. Certainly, it DID ship on time according to DC's revised schedule.

Now, Frank Miller's DARK KNIGHT RETURNS? Yeah, that one was months late in the end. (#3 and #4 were very late), and also CAMELOT 3000 which, as I recall, end up 13 months late in the end. Then there are things like SONIC DISRUPTORS where we're STILL waiting (some of us!) for the last four issues to ship.

But WATCHMEN #12? On-freakin'-time.

So I say to you: Shame on you, Rich Johnston, shame!

-B

Wait, What? Ep. 108: Frightful

beepI love, love, love that lonely little "beep."

Man, the holiday season, amirite? Emerging from the primordial swamp of Black Friday, Cyber-Monday, Fat Tuesday and Sexting Sunday, it's the show notes for Wait, What? Ep. 108...right behind the jump!

0:00-6:15:  Here we go!  Graeme is in a seasonal mood; Jeff is having tech problems again (the very expensive microphone he picked up?  Had to be sent back and repaired under warranty).  But we are both existential crisis free!  And if you're upset that there aren't any new episodes of "Let's Complain About Our Deadlines and Schedules" podcast, this is the five minutes for you. 6:15-19:16: Here's a dirty secret: I don't usually edit a lot of our on-line talk out but this season I thought I'd try to give all of you the gift of brevity.  There was actually a ten minute conversation about the Angus T. Jones and the Two and a Half Men controversy that I decided to cut just….uh, I dunno?  It had a natural flow to it but it also seemed a little digressive--even by our notoriously loose standards.  So I just cut (clumsily) in to the next "celebrities--what were they thinking?" story we talked about--the recent controversy with James Gunn.  (Our conversation took place just a  few hours before his issued apology.)  Do you guys have a preference about this kind of thing?  Would you rather hear our conversations unfold naturally, or would you just prefer we try to keep the podcast focused on the pertinent parts?  Let us know in the comments… 19:16-35:04:  Anyway, from there, we segue smoothly into talking about whether or not comics culture is inherently misogynistic or not.  Appropriately enough for such a broad topic (uh, pun is not intended there), we cover a lot of ground, talking about Journey Into Mystery and Red She-Hulk, the first issue of Bleeding Cool Magazine, and more. 35:04-35:26:INTERMISSION ONE 35:26-42:40:  All-New X-Men #2.  Graeme has read it; Jeff has not. So join us as Mr. Former fills in Mr. Latter on the story, the art, and  the overall not-as-terribleness of the first issue. 42:40-59:22: Jeff, oddly enough, has read Avengers #34 and New Avengers #34, Bendis' last issues and gets to turn the tables on Mr. Former. It leads into a discussion about whether the art is serving the storytelling in Marvel's current books with books like Indestructible Hulk #1 by Mark Waid and Leinil Yu. 59:22-1:14:40: Captain America #1 by Rick Remender and John Romita, Jr.: read by both, viewed skeptically by both (though more by one of us than the other).  For bonus points, we compare and contrast with Uncanny Avengers #2, and then sort of compare and contrast similar-seeming storylines running through the universe. Coincidence? Too much influence of one creator on another?  Not enough? 1:14:40-1:18:01: Also reviewed at the same time, FF #1 by Matt Fraction and Mike Allred by Mr. McMillan. 1:18:01-1:28:22: Amazing Spider-Man #698 by Dan Slott and Richard Elson is also discussed and *fully spoiled* by Graeme and Jeff.  Let the listener beware! 1:28:22-1:34:20: Iron Man #2 by Kieron Gillen and Greg Land, wherein Graeme coins the term "Greg Land face." Can we see a cure for Greg Land face in our lifetime? Also, bonus points to Graeme for the unexpected shout out to Jack Kirby's Silver Star.  God bless you, Graeme McMillan. 1:34:20-1:35:40: INTERMISSION TWO 1:35:40-1:48:45: Although Jeff wants to maneuver Graeme back into waters into which poor Graeme does not want to go--Grant Morrison's annotations about Alan Moore's opinions on Grant Morrison--we settle instead for discussing Batman Incorporated #5 by Grant Morrison and Chris Burnham.  What can we say?  Sometimes we choose peace instead of war.  That said, Jeff thinks there may be some really interesting subtext in the issue but isn't quite sure where.  Come, puzzle it out with us, won't you? 1:48:45-1:52:39:  Also under discussion, because Jeff is wayyyyyy behind the times, a discussion of Action Comics #14 by G-Moz and Rags Morales. 1:52:39-1:59:27:  Flash #14!  And then some stuff about Judge Dredd because that's what we do these days: talk about Judge Dredd. 1:59:27-2:02:30:  Hey Angel & Faith #16 is a book Graeme was impressed with.  Jeff drags the full spoilers out of Graeme so forewarned--do not listen unless you've read the issue (or, like Jeff, kinda don't care). 2:02:30-2:07:33:  And continuing in the "Let Us Now Praise Non-Big Two Comics" section, Jeff really, really liked Witch Doctor: Mal Practice #1 and Multiple Warheads #2.  Alas, because Graeme had read also read Multiple Warheads, we spend the vast majority of the time talking about that very fine comic and Witch Doctor: Mal Practice #1 unfortunately gets short shrift by comparison. But they're both great! 2:07:33-2:23:02:  Also, a book we both read and decide to chew the fat about:  Masks #1 by Chris Roberson and Alex Ross.  For those of you who play that drinking game where you do a shot every time Jeff gets some little detail utterly wrong, prepared to get snockered. 2:23:02-2:24:20:  Though he doesn't go through them in anything like detail, Jeff read ten volumes of Hikaru No Go (vols. 7-17)  and totally loved it. That was some very enjoyable manga right there. 2:24:20-end: A super-super-super-short discussion about Shonen Jump Alpha going day and date with some stories in 2013. 2000AD online is also mentioned, as is Jeff's wont these days. And then we are out of there…for another week.

This is a thing that is already out there, people, already haunting the diaphanous underworld that is iTunes.  But, of course, you are more than likely to gather around the seance table, join hands, and perform the secret spell of conjuration below:

Wait, What? Ep. 108: Frightful

As always, we hope you enjoy, and thank you for listening.

And, lo, there shall come a sell-out! Hibbsing 4/25

I have reviews, yes, under the jump.

ARCHIE #632: In the "just because I can sell you one digitally" category, let's start off with this one. This is the third in the "Archie Gets Married" comics -- this time it's to... Valerie of Josie & The Pussycats? Uhm, OK? I must be horrible backwards on my Archie-ana lore, but I didn't even have the slightest idea that they'd ever even dated before? Did they? Oh, huh, wikipedia says that they first dated in ARCHIE #608 (2010) ("making her Archie's first black girlfriend; previously, Archie Comics has been very hesitant to depict interracial romantic relationships.") which sounds about par for the course for the modern Archie.

The thing of it is, in 2012 (or even 2010), the idea of a mixed race couple isn't much of a big deal... well, at least here it isn't; I'd say at least 20% of the families at Ben's school are mixed in one fashion or another... and if you opened that up to religions as well, it might be as much as half -- so it is really hard to find a dramatic hook in this; though that's clearly why Archie tried this as another "stunt" book.

What I found somewhat interesting here is that Archie's path in all of these "memory lane" stories is largely dictated by Archie's choices before he proposes -- for example in the "....marries Veronica" story, he's working for Mr. Lodge, while here he's a full-time musician with "The Archies" band. Implying that his choice of romance is dictated by his job.

I also find it a little weird that there's a little subplot about the paparazzi are very interested in this marriage, but most of it focuses on the Pussycats side. Why is that weird? Well, I don't know, it's kind of because Valerie is the "...& the Pussycats" portion, and the real world would seem to suggest that only the "front man" is considered famous -- what portion of the world could name a single member of "....& the New Bohemians" or "...& the Blackhearts"? Unless, in earth-Archie, the Pussycats are on par with the E. Street Band?  Yet, conversely, Mr. Andrews band is *called* "The Archies" (which is actually weird, when you think about it, it's almost like, say, The Talking Heads being called "The Davids"), but it really doesn't read in the comic that he's the "star" of the band. Weird.

There's also this really weird 3 panel interlude where some chick with a white streak in her hair schemes to take Val's place in the Pussycats, but I have absolutely no clue whatsoever who she is supposed to be, since she's not named, and I don't have a degree in Pussycat-ology.

So, yah, cute, if house-style art, sloppy writing (both by Dan Parent), and low-stakes drama... yeah, it's an Archie comic, and it's certainly no worse than many I've read, and better than a few (like the Kiss crossover) -- it's perfectly competent and OK.

AVX VS #1: I'll say that the "this has no plot!" introduction page removed much of the weight that might follow here, and, yup, just punching. I pretty much disagree with the results of BOTH of the fights, as shown, especially since they were both X-Men losers, AND they were "worthy antagonists for an entire team of characters" characters, but it was still fun enough for the brainlessness of the work (I also liked the running "fun fact"s), but CHRIST ON A BIKE, $4? Are you nuts? Damn, that's just crazy brutal, takes it down at least two grades, relative to the depth of the content, and means all I can say is EH.

Also? I think it's kind of insane that the Parent book, titled "Avengers Vs. X-Men" looks like it's called "AvX" on the rack, while this one, which IS called "AvX" looks like it's actual title is "Avengers Vs X-Men" -- I don't think we can quite call that "bait and switch", but it's some dumb planning, if you ask me.

BATTLE SCARS #6: Seriously?

I mean, it's stupid enough that they're trying to align Marvel comics continuity with movie continuity (seriously, anytime the answer to "wait, who is that?" has to be answered with a paragraph long description, you've just fucked up your continuity), but to have a nearly last page reveal that "Marcus Johnson's" name WAS ALWAYS "Nick Fury", so that's what everyone is calling him now, is just kind of insanely dumb. There's also nothing in the text of the comic that would suggest that this kid is even vaguely competent enough to be made head of S.H.I.E.L.D., and, in fact, since his pal "Cheese"... er, I mean "Agent Coulson" (Gr!) bugged him in order to have the Avengers rescue his ass, I'd say the text suggest quite the contrary. At the least, the OLD Nick shoulda died... but he's still bouncing around in the background, so it's probably just a year or three before this gets reversed.

This might not suck if people actually cared, or bought it, but I've sold ZERO rack copies of #4 & 5 of this series, and #6 survived Wednesday without anyone showing any interest whatsoever. What if you threw an origin and nobody came?

Really the only positive thing I can say is that, as a $2.99 book, which Marvel has made self-cover, and removed 4 pages of ads, there's a significantly better reading experience by not having those ads. On the negative side, with the reduced cover stock and the one less signature, these $2.99 books have AWFUL "hand" -- they feel flimsy and cheap and terrible. I'd strongly recommend they pump the cover stock back up to compensate.

This was a badly told comic, for an unreasonable and unwanted goal, and that really makes it AWFUL.

MOON KNIGHT #12: I didn't write them up, but I really liked the twists of the last two issues, and of how Moonie's mental illness was being expressed, and I thought the book was finally actually going somewhere, but this issue just has the Avengers come in all Ex Machin-y, and makes the whole thing kind of pointless. Can Marvel now admit that Moon Knight can't carry a solo book? Even with Bendis and Maleev? Sadly, this last issue was very EH.

POPEYE #1: Another we'll-sell-it-to-you digitally book, and this one at least, I can thoroughly and unreservedly recommend. No, it isn't E.C. Segar, but it's done with so much respect for that original work, that it wouldn't feel out of place with Thimble Theatre. Roger Landgridge's script has the voices Just So, and the art by Bruce Ozella is astonishing -- absolutely in line with Segar, but it doesn't feel "old fashioned" or slavish for that. You couldn't really ask for a better first issue, though I was surprised to not see a single can of spinach on display. I thought it was VERY GOOD.

RICH JOHNSTONS CAPTAIN AMERICAN IDOL #1 RICH JOHNSTONS SCIENTHORLOGY #1: I think I can review this as a pair?  Honestly, if Rich's name wasn't on these, I wouldn't have ordered a single copy; and even with is name on it, it's really only down to the audience that reads Bleeding Cool. These kind of look hacked out to my eye, or cashed-in, your choice, and while each has an amusing moment or two in them (Thor punching someone in a Guy Fawkes mask, saying "thou art Anonymous!" is the height of the wit here), the best thing they have going for them is David Hasslehoff cast as Curtis Joh... er, I mean, Nick Fury. If you're looking for CRACKED-level parody, without the Severin art, as you build up to Avengers, then this might be the comics for you! Me, I thought they were both EH (with Thor being marginally better, mostly due to Michael Netzer's art)

Yeah, so that's me; as always, what did YOU think?

-B

Wait, What? Ep. 83: As Good As A Feast

Lovely Hoo boy.  Did not think I was going to make this particular deadline.  I won't bore you with the blah-blah-blahs, but let's just say: papa needs a new microphone and he needs one bad.  I apologize in advance for all the not-especially-discreet cracking and popping going on at various points in the background of this.  We are maybe two weeks away from a solution to both it and the mild echo chamber effect that's afflicted us ever since Graeme managed to transcend this corporeal realm.

Buttttttttt, anywayyyyyyy... Gotta keep this short and snappy so lemme just say this:  Wait, What? Ep. 83 is two hours and twenty-seven minutes long, and Graeme and I do not spend all that time trying to remember if the boss at the end of Crazy Climber was a gorilla or not!

No.  Instead, we do our best to cover a lot of lost ground by jawing about Iron Muslim and Zombies vs. Fanboys from Boom Comics, Kirby: Genesis, the current state of comics and the comics internet including Chris Roberson quitting DC and David Brothers' amazing article over at Comics Alliance, Before Watchmen, Grant Morrison, Brian Bendis and Avengers Assemble #2, as well as the Oral History of the Avengers.

Also?  The eighth issues of Wonder Woman Justice League, OMAC, and Batman, Casanova #3, The Shadow #1, The Boys by Garth Ennis and Darick Robertson, Alabaster Wolves, Saga #2, Archie Meets KISS, Prophet #24, more issues of Glamourpuss, and much, much more.

This show was pretty late making its way to iTunes, but if it's not there yet, it will be there soon.  But even so!  You can also listen to it here and now if you would prefer.  Behold:

Wait, What? Ep. 83: As Good As A Feast

As always, thanks for your patience.  I gotta go jump through hoops for the next ten hours or so, but we'll have more for you next week--and, of course, thank you for listening!

Wait, What? Ep. 79.1: iPhones and Asshats

Photobucket Multitasking--can it truly be done efficiently?

Studies suggest "no," but if only they could watch me in action, they could change those studies to definitively conclude, "Oh hell, no." At this very moment, I am uploading episode 79.1, listening to episode 79.2, and creating this entry to go live early Tuesday morning. Which will I screw up first? The smart money is on "all three."

That said--hello! Welcome to Episode 79.1! Yes, once again, we are changing things up and going back to two episodes per week, divided up into comfy one hour chunks. I kinda missed having content on the site on Thursdays--I thought it was a nice way to have something up to look at and listen to before John's reviews roll around on Friday. (And thank goodness for that, eh? What a fine addition to the site Mr. K (UK) turned out to be!)

So for the month of March at least--two bite-sized eps of roughly an hour in length. Is that something that turns your crank? Please weigh in at the comments and let us know or shoot us an email at waitwhatpodcast@gmail.com.

Also, I tried to cut back on the infamous "echoing McMillan" effect with limited effect (though I think it sounds better than it has in a few episodes) and I didn't put the episodes through good ol' Levelator. Did you notice? Let us know!

Okay, you say, fine. But what about content? Did you bother to put content into this "installment," Jeff?

Fortunately, yes. M.C. MC and I talk Alan Moore's latest interview (hence the lego effigy you see above), Rich Johnston and the industry's need for scapegoats, the possibility of "good" comics journalism, and Graeme and I discuss whether and when we've gone too far.

Current quantum theory postulates that the podcast both exists and does not exist on iTunes until your feed goes to discover it.  But since we operate in a very meat & potatoes Newtonian-style website, you can also listen to it here, no collapsing wave function required:

Wait, What? Ep. 79.1: iPhones and Asshats

And come back on Thursday for part two--wherein we discuss Avengers Assemble #1, Todd McFarlane's Spider-Man #1 (timely!), Angel and Faith, and much more!

Mistaken Identity Crisis!

Just a quick story here (maybe reviews in the next few days), because I thought it was funny, and if I don't type it up SOON, then I never will. So, it's last Tuesday, Halloween, and I super-double rush through work early so I can take Ben Trick-or-Treating (3 years old is the BEST time for that, yes)

(Digression: We went to his grandmother Michele's neighborhood, Seacliff, because we could go there and not feel like carpet-baggers. Michele has an apartment there, but its home to some of the nicest houses in SF -- and some of the richest. Robin Williams' house is there [handing out glow in the dark lanyards, which I think is an EXCELLENT thing to give out to kids who are wandering in the dark] for example.)

(We went into all of these fancy courtyards -- y'know, courtyards that are bigger and nicer than our entire house! -- in front of all of these fabulous mansions overlooking the ocean. The nicest, I think, was the one that was owned by, I'll assume, the 49ers owner or head coach or lead player or something. There are big burly security guards at front, with like earpieces and whatever. The gate opens down to this path with a "velvet rope" [well, there were stanchions, at least] between TWO side-by-side mansions [on the same property] that leads out to this bluff overlooking the water. There, literally in a 135-degree or so view, like the whole range of your eye's peripheral vision, is the Golden Gate bridge. I'm not even slightly describing what an impressive and magical view this is. I'd need hand gestures. There, on this bluff, the 49ers cheerleaders [!] are handing out candy to the children. Um, wow.)

(It was a nice Halloween. End digression)

Anyway, like I said, I was on my way home, its maybe 4 in the afternoon, couple of hours before the festivities start in the Castro, and I'm waiting for the 35 at 18th and Castro, watching the police set up the barricades and whatnot for the street parties.

Because I've come back from processing this week's comics, I'm holding some comic that I was reading (52, I think) while I wait for the bus.

A really nerdy (Don't *think* it was a costume, but it *could* have been) black guy comes up to me, and says, "Um, excuse me, are you Rich Johnston?!?!"

Now, if I had any web skills of any kind, I'd link that cover shot of Rich from CSI: DYING IN THE GUTTERS next to a picture of me, and you'd think "Yes, I can see why someone might possibly make that mistake"; but I don't have those skills, so you just have to trust me.

And, if I hadn't just come back from racing through the comics and the subs and the racking, so my head wasn't all filled up with a bunch of stuff, I should have answered "Crikey, Guv'nor! Aye, oy'm bleedin' Rich Johnston, like. Strewth! Chim-chimmeny-chim-chim-charooh, didjer know tha' bloody tosser Mark Millar 'as a tattoo of Princess Di snoggin' Superman on his wee arse? Throw another shrimp on th' barbie! Beggorah!"

But I was tired and engrossed in my funny book, so I just sadly shook my head, and said "No."

"Yeah, because I thought it would be really weird to meet Rich Johnston in the Castro on Halloween in San Francisco"

"Yeah, that WOULD have been weird. Have a good day"

And he wandered off.

Ah, the things we think of in hindsight. Oh well.

Anyway, there’s this week's funny story, and tale of why I love living in San Francisco. I hope you relish it as much as I.

(Also, for the funny, go read Spurgeon's minute-by-minute account of THE GUIDING LIGHT/Marvel crossover -- I had tears coming out of my eyes: http://www.comicsreporter.com/index.php/briefings/cr_reviews/6715/)

-B