"I Guess You Could Call It An EYEFUL SORE!" COMICS! Sometimes That Joke Isn't Punny Anymore!

Bit of a hybrid this time out. It’s a little bit European and a little bit American. Something for everyone! Also, Batman! Everyone loves Batman! Unfortunately it’s kind of terrible. But, wait! I’m getting ahead of myself… BATMAN: EUROPA by Parel, Camuncoli, Casali, Azzarello and Brosseau

Anyway, this…

BATMAN:EUROPA #1-4 Art by Jim Lee, Giuseppe Camuncoli, Diego Latorre and Gerald Parel Layouts by Giuseppe Camuncoli Written by Brian Azzarello and Matteo Cassali Coloured by Alex Sinclair Lettered by Pat Brosseau BATMAN created by Bill Finger with Bob Kane DC COMICS,$3.99 each (2015-2016)

Tellingly the most interesting thing about BATMAN: EUROPA is its appearance some ten years and change late. Announced in 2004, the series finally slouched out in 2015. What? Yes, Jim Lee is involved. However did you guess, Holmes! I guess Jim Lee struggled to find the time to draw an actual comic in between his high level corporate gig of wearing baseball caps and smiling his sunshiney smile. Maybe it’s unfair to blame Jim Lee though, maybe it was Brian Azzarello who was busy earning more money than I’ll ever see, vigorously, and ill-fatedly, palping the withered dugs of Frank Miller and Alan Moore in an attempt to express one last squirt of milky, milky cash; all for a company so bereft of ideas they mistake having Batman fight Rorschach for creativity. Or maybe it was one of the other folk involved that we’re not interested in because they sound a bit foreign and haven’t made awesome comics like, uh, that one that’s only any good because Eduardo Risso drew it, or whatever comic it is that makes people like Jim Lee’s scratchy tedium. (If you really need to like an artist who works at the pace of tectonic shift then I still think Barry “Windsor” Smith’s your best bet.) I don’t really know Matteo Casali but I hear Matteo Casali has written some Dylan Dog comics I’ve never read, so maybe he’s a byword for tardiness; maybe our continental chums are all like, “Dylan Dog would be a good comic if only it ever came out. Damn Matteo Casali’s eyes! That Mateo Casali makes Jim Lee look like a Japanese Rocket Train. Mateo Casali! Pah!” Ah, but do you want it now or do you want it right, someone who thinks I don’t know a diversionary tactic when I hear one is saying. Look, the Sistine Chapel ceiling took Michelangelo four years. Four years. Therefore it took DC Comics six years longer  than it took Michelangelo to paint the Sistine chapel ceiling to produce a comic about Batman in Europe. I don’t know about you, but I’m thinking that a Batman in Europe comic that takes 10 years had better be some brand new high in Batman comics, if not a fresh peak for the very medium of comics itself. It isn’t.

BATMAN: EUROPA by Camuncoli, Casali, Azzarello and Brosseau

Unsurprisingly BATMAN: EUROPA is mostly set in Europe. And so it’s called EUROPA, which sounds a bit like Europe. But I don’t know why it’s specifically called “EUROPA”, since that’s the website for the European Union (which we aren’t to speak of lest we be hung, drawn and quartered for Treason against Brexit Britain. TAKING BACK CONTROL!!!!) Or maybe Brian Azzarello thinks people in Europe all put ‘a’ on the end of words; like Italians in an old Chris Claremont comic (“I-a welcome-a you-a to-a Europe-a, Bat-a man-a! Bella! Bella!”) Anyway, whatever, as the kids are wont to spout. Or maybe it’s one of Brian Azzarello’s “amazing” puns (e.g. it’s Brian Azzarello on Batman, he probably got paid a shitload so EUROPA it’s good. Geddit! EUROPA it’s good! Diamonds, baby! Diamonds.) I should probably move on now, since I don’t get to be ten years and then some late; you know, like professionals do. BATMAN: EUROPA  is  four issues, each set in a different European city (Chisinau, Podgorica, Heidelberg and Chichester; no not really, it’s Berlin, Prague, Paris and Rome), each has a different European artist and, uh, that’s it. Well, except for the first issue which starts in Gotham, which is in America, which is not part of Europe, (also, it's not real) and so has Jim Lee tepidly involved before the series flings itself across the Atlantic to Berlin where Camuncoli picks up his pen. The premise, or the (inch) high-concept if you must, is: The Batman and The Joker are both infected by a deadly virus and have to team up and travel round Europe for a cure. And so EUROPA starts off with Batman and The Joker rolling about on the floor all bloody and kind of weightlessly sketched in that way Jim Lee will continue to do for the rest of his stint on the book. Hey, Jim Lee fans, does Jim Lee have some kind of clinical aversion to suggesting weight in his art? I’m just asking; he’s clearly talented, but everything looks too samey, and this together with the failure to allot weight to any of his visual elements just leaves his work looking like half-hearted sketches. I don’t mind Jim Lee’s art, but I’m not all that excited by it, basically. I see a picture of Jim Lee smiling in his latest baseball cap and I don’t begrudge him, you know. Equally though, I don’t get all tingly round the prepuce when I see his name.  Despite Lee’s signature dreariness Azzarello/Casali try to create a mood of finality about this opener as though this time Batman will have to do the ultimate and…smash cut to splash page flashback! Ooh! What could it be? Four very disappointingly written issues will have to pass before you find out. And it’s not a bad punchline, but really four issues of set up require a punchline with a lot more, uh, punch.

BATMAN: EUROPA by Lee, Camuncoli, Casali, Azzarello, Sinclair and Brosseau

You heard me right, pilgrim, four issues! Four issues this bumptious thing is! Four whole issues! Back when you could hate women openly in the street, this whole Batman and The Joker in Europe device would be the kind of throwaway gimmick Bob Haney would do in 22 poorly coloured pages of The Brave And The Bold, probably with some Jim Aparo goodness to boot. You know the kind of goofy borderline racist awesome that would result, but let’s go through it anyway because I’m fighting off sleep just thinking about this Mogadon® of a comic. In a better world, in a Haney world, in Paris they would face stripy jumpered, beret sporting thugs armed with onion bolas ; in Rome they would be homicidally wooed by stiletto armed lotharios; in Berlin they would attend an Einstürzende Neubauten concert (Blixa would be felled by a rogue blow and The Joker would have to chip in on “Keine Schönheit (ohne Gefahr)” to thunderous applause) and foil the cloning of Hitler’s dog, Blondi; in London they would discover it had all been a plot by Oliver Cromwell’s great, great, great, great, grandson, Barry; and it would all end with Buckingham Palace being attacked by bowler hat helicopters, the narrow averting of the assassination of King Henry XXIV and the escape of Barry Cromwell into a sudden pea-souper, only for him to be killed in a bitterly ironic last panel by a passing Jack the Ripper. The antidote would turn out to be a nice cup of tea and a biscuit, and all the while the Joker would go “Hoo! Hoo!” a lot. It would in short be very silly, not a little casually racist, and a ton of fun. Because Bob Haney comics were very silly and a lot of fun. Bob Haney not only survived the battle of Okinawa (01 April 1945), he also wrote the best Batman: Brave And The Bold comics ever; talk about The Greatest Generation! But Bob Haney was Then and this is Now, and North American genre comics are nothing if not needlessly po-faced, drab and kind of, well, insipidly joyless these days. Say, I bet Bob Haney wished he’d been 10 years late to Okinawa, but he didn’t get that option. Not everyone gets to be 10 years late. Hey, don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying today’s comics writers would benefit from passing through the fiery hell of Okinawa. Mind you, I’m not exactly ruling it out either.

BATMAN: EUROPA by Latorre, Camuncoli, Casali, Azzarello and Brosseau

We’re all busy people so let’s not beat about the bush here; the writing is just bloody poor. The plot is a mere wisp of a thing and the actual events clinging weakly to it are so deeply unthrilling that they barely register. At one point there’s a giant robot for not much of a reason, and all it makes you think is, I wish Bob Haney was writing this. I love me some Bob Haney but I shouldn’t be missing him so hard in 2017. I mean, I won’t lie, I can’t even remember what happened in this comic it’s so relentlessly leaden. I remember a human plot shortcut in the form of a lady hacker. She hasn’t got any character as such but I remember her because at one point she is wounded and Batman leaves the Joker to tend to her. Guess how that works out. I guess they never bill him as “Batman – The World’s Greatest Judge of Character”  with good reason. Ooh, there’s a mystery villain behind it all! Yeah, that reveal had all the dramatic weight of a meringue in space. I thought it was KGBeast, but I just checked (professionalism!) and it wasn’t. That’s how exciting it was. I’ve forgotten who it was again. As for motivation, well, I don’t know. Sure, killing Batman is kind of on any decent Bat-villains to-do list, but The Joker? You’d hand feed Cujo before you got that looney tune involved. And why such a needlessly protracted and highly unlikely method? I think the idea is the virus gives them a reason to follow a trail of, cough, clues so that by the end that are all tuckered out and the Guest Villain can best them. It’s a Bob Haney plan in its unlikely roundaboutness but it’s played like it’s Shakespeare. Bob Haney’s Macbeth, now there’s a thought to conjure with. Probably about a jillion times more entertaining than Azzarello/Casali’s Batman. But it’s not just Batman, it’s Batman and The Joker! “Hoo!” and indeed “Hoo!” Yes! Batman and The Joker together! Like Bing and Bob in on The Road To Europa! What a gift to a writer. Think of the cracklin’ dialogue and sinister mind games you could fill the pages with. Having to trust your life to a man who can’t even trust himself! It’s the very stuff isn’t it? The premise practically comes with a bow tied round it. Time to get your Shane Black on. More like bloody Shane Ritchie. Predictably enough nothing memorable occurs and it’s all largely page wasting, occasionally enlivened by a coughed up furball of facts about whichever city the undynamic duo are in. Basically the interaction is about as vibrant and electric as that of a long-married couple on a lengthy coach trip. Odd, isn’t it what with all these master dialogists in comics that there’s very little masterful dialogue around. Some people have an ear for dialogue, but most people in comics seem to have an arse for it; and more than one of those people are called Brian. But I digress.  Frequently and with great vigour.

BATMAN: EUROPA by Camuncoli, Casali, Azzarello and Brosseau

The art’s okay, sometimes it’s even really, really good; these guys are all Eurotalents after all; and I don’t want to upset anyone in North American genre comics, but the bar for art seems a bit higher abroad. True, I don’t want to upset anyone, but since it’s true I don’t actually mind upsetting anyone. Giuseppe Camuncoli is a known known since he drew much of Peter Milligan’s underrated run on Hellblazer. As ever his art here has a pinched and repressed air which I enjoy, and everyone looks hungry on a really deeply unpleasant level that goes way beyond the appetite for food. Creepy, in sum. His colours are a bit heavy and rob his images of energy but as individual images they are certainly pretty. But comics is all about the sequential image and he dips a bit there with a lack of flow. Diego Latorre is, sadly, not the Argentinian footballer known as the “New Maradonna”, but is still impressive in a murky way. Maybe too murky. He makes up for the murk with an experimental brio that makes it look like he's running a sizeable charge of electricity through his panels. Alas, I was more impressed than seduced by the effect. If you've ever had a migraine (no not a headache, a migraine!) then you'll probably agree that Latorre has successfully represented that visually here. Arresting stuff but maybe a bit too much so. Gerald Parel is less than fresh to me as he also illustrated the original Iron Man graphic novel I looked at HERE. He’s gone for a really lush and soft edged look. It’s a kind of accumulation of colours blossoming across the page without the hindrance of holding lines. I liked this smeary expressionism just fine, but I can’t shake the suspicion that this is what sight is like when cataracts start to kick in. He gets some real beauty going though, I'll give him that. And then there’s stolid old Jim Lee, cap at a jaunty angle and smiles for miles. His art’s boring though. Yet what does it matter how good any of these artists are when the writing’s as weak as a politician’s excuses. Your eyes feast on an image only to be brought up short by the Joker alluding to pissing on a woman (my, how edgey!) or a pun as poor as it is predictable (“Vaud-Villain.” Yeah, really). Here's the big secret about puns: they should be used sparingly, otherwise it's like reading a lushly illustrated Christmas cracker joke.

BATMAN: EUROPA by Latorre, Camuncoli, Casali, Azzarello and Brosseau

BATMAN: EUROPA is not a good comic. The first three post-splash pages (or whatever; I’m not checking) consist entirely of Batman smacking Killer Croc about. This is excellent stuff, but only if the script directions asked for as unengaging a depiction of violence as possible, and the artist was asked also to ensure that the location was never identified beyond some rudimentary lines suggesting bricks, maybe a wall if needs must, a trash can if absolutely necessary. I think they are fighting in an alley in this scene, but if so, it’s an alley with remarkably elastic dimensions. Azzarello/Casali seem to think alleys are odd in a city based on a grid, and they draw special attention to this in the reliably problematic narration. However, alleys are only odd in a grid based city if the city in question is New York; a city notable for its scarcity of alleys due to the Commissioner’s Plan of 1811 omitting rear service alleys. Gotham is often taken as a stand in for New York sooooooooooo, okay, but I’m not sure many people have any clue about the distinctive absence of alleys in New York City, and this is Gotham so it could have loads of alleys, you know, what with it not being real and people making up its geography on the fly; so I don’t know why it needs special mention, particularly as by way of contrast no mention whatsoever is made of why Batman is smacking Croc about. What I’m getting at is, the storytelling priorities here are all skew-iff, basically. Sure, there’s mention, as Croc is loaded into an ambulance, of “victims” but of what? Usually Azzarello has Croc eating people because – EDGY! And sometimes crocodiles eat people or something. Christ alone knows what Croc’s been up to this time because Azzarello/Casali don’t deign to tell us, despite having had three pages to do so. Instead they keep telling us the same thing: Batman is off his game. It’s a good job they tell us, mind you, because there’s no particular visual indication of this fight being any tougher than any other Killer Croc and Batman fight. It’s not good comics, in essence. Unusually for comics where the art often picks up the writer’s/writers' slack all parties are at fault here; it’s  a failure on two fronts. I don't know exactly what's happening and I have no idea why it is happening. It's like being at work! Presented with a visual spectacle as tedious as this a writer might attempt to punch things up with captions; maybe give it some context, some stakes, at a bare minimum some reason for the scene to be occurring. I guess that’s beneath Azzarello/Casali as what they supply instead is a load of sub-Miller tough-guy guff, which takes a whole lot of space to say very little indeed. It’s difficult not to imagine that the Azzarello/Casali team isn’t itself undermined by Azzarello’s compulsive need to avoid crafting a clear sentence, so much so here that it occasionally makes you think it’s a particularly poor translation from another language (any other language). That’s the first few pages, I’m not going on through the rest of the comic but, be warned, I could do because it’s not very good.

BATMAN: EUROPA by Lee, Camuncoli, Casali, Azzarello, Sinclair and Brosseau

BATMAN: EUROPA, then. Bit like that time you went inter-railing round Europe with your mate, but you both got the trots and fell out just past Rouen after someone (naming no names, Terry Blesdoe) was sick on your copy of Camus’ The Outsider (US: The Stranger), and you had to suffer each other’s sulky presence for the remainder of the trip because you’d booked everything in advance. And your train was ten years late. Yeah, a bit like that, but BATMAN: EUROPA is, quite possibly, if anything even less thrilling. I’ve read some of them there European comics and, while there is a variety, mostly I think I’m safe in generalising wildly and saying that European comics can tend towards the grandiose, with large pictures and outsized ideas which kind of sweep past in a lustrous rush, one you have to plumb for meaning at a later date. It’s this kind of Euro comic BATMAN: EUROPA seems to seek to emulate. But Batman isn’t The Metabaron. And Brian Azzarello/Casali aren’t Jodorowsky. And Moebius is dead, baby. Moebius is dead. Four issues of big pictures and tiny ideas is what you get. Um, but some of the pictures are nice. I’m uttering a very Continental – “EH!”

BATMAN: EUROPA by Parel, Camuncoli, Casali, Azzarello and Brosseau

NEXT TIME: We talk about the elephant in the…road? Ah, it must be the how you say – COMICS!!!

"I Was Gone For Only THREE YEARS." COMICS! Sometimes A Bit More Thought Wouldn't Go Amiss!

Okay, here are some words about some (near)recent comics. I guess they are capsules, relatively speaking that is. Although, after this one some of my relatives won't be speaking to me, particularly the Morrison branch.

Anyway, this... AXIS: REVOLUTIONS #4 Art by Gullermo Mogorron & Felix Ruiz, Howard Victor Chaykin Written by John Barber, Howard Victor Chaykin Coloured by Rachelle Rosenberg Lettered by VC's Travis Lanham Marvel,$3.99 (2015) Ice Man created by Jack Kirby & Stan Lee Doctor Doom created by Jack Kirby & Stan Lee

You could be forgiven for thinking that this comic has little reason to exist, being as it is one of those inessential spin-off things  barely connected to the latest Godawful Event comic to clog up the rapidly thickening arteries of the Direct Market. And yet, there are many reasons for this comic to exist (beyond Marvel's contractually stipulated page quota with the printing company). Firstly, it allows John Barber to introduce himself to me with a comical study of overweening youthful angst most familiar to those who inhabited the 1980s, as represented by Ice Man (who is a lot pointier than I recall), versus the more incurious, practical and contented youth of the noughties, represented by a young lady who probably has an App to handle all that emotional crap. Secondly, I get to see the art of Guillermo Mogorron & Felix Ruiz; art which reminds me of the work of Phil Hester ovelaid with the signature urgent scribbliness of Bill Sienkiewicz; it doesn't work as such, but it's still fun to look at.

Third, I get to imagine Howard Victor Chaykin's little face as he listened to the premise of the Axis "concept" and also get to wonder where exactly his pragmatism kicked in and he said "sure.", because it never hurts to keep a door open to Marvel, and even Living Comic Book Legends have bills to pay. Fourth, Howard Victor Chaykin gets to demonstrate that no matter what nonsensical shit he's handed he can sculpt it into a passingly convincing simulacrum of a decent story. Despite at no point ever suggesting he was in any danger of spending more than a morning on it, his part of the book is a surprisingly taut and suspenseful look at conflicting loyalties centred around the world's most dangerous (and ghastliest patterned) waistcoat. It's all particularly effective since it is set in Latveria, a country which resembles a never ending beer festival held inside a cuckoo clock.  Necessary or no, this was OKAY!

THE MULTIVERSITY: MASTERMEN #1 Art by Jim Lee, Scott Williams, Sandra Hope, Mark Irwin, Jonathan Glapion Written by Grant Morrison Coloured by Alex Sinclair, Jeromy Cox Lettered by Rob Leigh DC Comics, $4.99 (2015) Superman created by Jerry Siegel & Joe Shuster

I recall in 1991 (I know!) being tickled by the televisual sight of the poet Tom Paulin splutteringly declaring Martin Amis' Times Arrow to be "boneheaded!". Time's Arrow, you need not be reminded, is the one where Amis fils runs the Holocaust backwards like that one Dresden bombing chapter in Vonnegut's Slaughterhouse 5. "Boneheaded!" or not Time's Arrow does at least have the decency to include an attempt at suggesting the indecency of the Holocaust in its backwards pelt through Nazi Germany. Which is more than Grant Morrison can be bothered to do here.

I started high on the cultural scale there because, for some reason, in comics Grant Morrison is held up as beacon of intellectual dynamism. Having characters in panels directly address the reader is apparently world shakingly profound in its inventiveness, despite being a device used approximatively five minutes into the Golden Age and ever since. Wait! What's this! You can hear my voice in your head! Yet I am not in the room! Is it some form of Shamanic magic! Or is it just how writing has worked ever since its invention millennia ago, and to pretend to be surprised that words on paper become thoughts in your head is the behaviour of a poltroon! Perhaps! Your world is dying! Now read on! Also, a belief in the possibility of fictional super hero universes achieving independent and pulsatingly active existence is a great idea, but only if you are 8 years old. These are all the things I am repeatedly told are fascinating about Grant Morrison's work but none of them are as fascinating to me as the fact that his work's total retreat from the real world has resulted in his apparent inability to write comics about anything other than other comics. Obviously, this is not without entertainment value and to pretend otherwise would be unfair in the extreme. However, to produce a (skeletally illustrated by Jim Lee) comic about a world in which Nazi Germany won in which the Nazis are portrayed as just another bunch of bad guys and the Holocaust is treated like a larger scale version of The Joker poisoning a reservoir is...(words fail me). I wonder what Tom Paulin would make of a comic where The Holocaust was given the same weight as Mr. Mxyzptlk turning all the cars in Metropolis to ice cream. I don't think boneheaded! would be enough, I think he'd go straight for CRAP!

THE MULTIVERSITY GUIDEBOOK #1 Art by Marcus To, Paolo Siqueira, Brett Booth, Norm Rapamund, Gary Frank, Nicola Scott, Trevor Scott, David Finch, Juan Jose Ryp, Cameron Stewart, Marcus To, Joe Prado, Bryan Hitch, Dan Jurgens, Mike Hawthorne, Emanuela Lupacchino, Jake Wyatt, Jae Lee, Prado, Ben Oliver, Kalman Andrasofszky, Andrew Robinson, Giusepe Camuncoli, Richard Friend, Chris Sprouse, Karl Story, Darwyn Cooke, Yildiray Cinar, Gene Ha, Chris Burnham, Declan Shalvey, Todd Nauck, Jeff Johnson, Evan Shaner, Jed Dougherty, Jon Bogdanove, Kelley Jones, Duncan Rouleau, Andy McDonald, Scott Hepburn, Paolo Siqueira, Rian Hughes Written by Grant Morrison Coloured by Dave McCaig, Hi-Fi, Nathan Fairbarn, Pete Pantazis, Sonia Oback, Tomeu Morey, Marcelo Maiolo, Alex Sinclair, June Chung, Jake Wyatt, Gabe Eltaeb, Dave McCaig, Jordie Bellaire Lettered by Todd Klein DC Comics, $7.99 (2015) Superman crated by Jerry Siegel & Joe Shuster

The pages of this book which are actually comics are pretty good. There's a section involving the brutal murder of child-like versions of DC heroes, and one involving 1970 Jack Kirby's DC creations. There are no prizes awarded today for guessing which section I liked most. And I did like the comic booky bits even though, as ever, Grant Morrison soars above the base need to actually provide a proper comic. And so this is just te usual Late (how late it is, eh?) Morrison-ian explosive entrances, gnomic asides, exclamatory burst of bombastic exposition and grand hints at great developments which will not disappoint on their arrival (honest, guv!), and all this in a fashion so disjointed and cursory it must be really, really clever. I don't know if it's all that clever but it isn't unentertaining. Unfortunately most of the (SEVEN! DOLLARS! AND! NINETY! NINE! CENTS!) book is padded out with one paragraph summations of alternate Earths accompanied by a little picture of the main capes domiciled thereupon. Even as someone who actually spent some of his youth reading RPG manuals for fun I found this a bit lacking. If that's all it takes to float your boat here's one for free: On Earth-74 Batman wees from his ears, Superman poos from his nose and Wonder Woman is made of burlap sacks. Get Frank Quitely to waste his time illustrating that and we're off! EH!

Speaking of off, so am I. But there's still - COMICS!!!

Wait, What? Ep. 139: Minisodes

HUH? With thanks to the always-excellent Miguel Corti.

Yes, we have returned! And as always, I am late, behind, and addled. Nonetheless, join me after the jump for show notes and our latest episode, won't you?

quick! quick! quick! SHOOOOOOOW NOOOOOOOOOOTES!

00:00-5:18:  Opening comments!  Mutual flattery in the course of technological anxiety.  A quick recap of what we lost in the fire (and by ‘fire,’ we mean ‘hard drive crash’). 5:18-14:49: What comics have we read in the last week?  Graeme’s answer is much more impressive than Jeff’s.  (But Jeff’s excuses are *much* more extensive than Graeme’s!)  We discuss Torpedo Vol. 1 by Enrique Sánchez Abulí, Jordi Bernet, and Alex Toth; and a discussion of Terry Austin’s inking (one of us is Team Austin, and some are not). 14:49-41:52:  Quasi-related: Graeme has an observation about Mike Wieringo’s art that leads us down the branching pathway of influence and a discussion about artists who are ubiquitous vs. artists whose influence are ubiquitous.  Mentioned in detail and/or passing:  MIke Golden, Dan Jurgens, Jim Steranko, John Byrne, Jim Lee, Geoff Darrow, Sal Buscema, Jack Kirby, Paul Pope, Joe Sinnott, et al.  (Also, we recover a repressed memory from our lost episode about Al Milgrom!) 41:52-53:34: Talking about Mike Golden’s Batman Special leads to us talking about comics Graeme has picked up in languages he can’t read, and Jeff’s shameful inability to get into same.  Mentioned:  Projekt X, Dylan Dog, friend of the podcast Miguel Corti, Barbarella, Floyd Farland: Citizen of the Future, and Dave Eggers. 53:34-1:20:53:  We talk about the recent Dr. Who minisode ’The Night of the Doctor,’ not just because it came out the morning we recorded this, but also because it was pretty keen. Also discussed:  Stephen Moffat, Buffy The Vampire Slayer, farce, Jeff’s theory about Glory and Galactus, the first episode of the final season of Misfits. 1:20:53-1:24:22: Brendan McCarthy—old news (I guess?) but the news coverage of some of his posts broke while we were recording the lost episode so we hadn’t discussed it and finally get around to it now.  Jeff tries to craft a mission statement out of the whole situation which leads to… 1:24:22-end: The startling interstellar podcasting crossover Jeff didn’t even know was happening!  (Well, he knew, he just didn’t really know when it was.)  If you must listen to only one dumb American lost in a sea of discreet British communications, make it this one!  (And then check us out talking with the brilliant and hilarious Al Kennedy and Paul O’Brien over at House to Astonish.)  Yes, this episode is kind of like our prologue issue to the Avengers-Defenders War.  Actually, since our prologue has come out after our appearance on House to Astonish, I guess it's like a more recent Marvel crossover event in that regard, Infinity or something.

So, yeah.  You can find us on iTunes soon if not right this very minute, but we are also below, right here:

Wait, What? 139: Minisodes

And also check us out over at House to Astonish!  And also be advised there is a 50/50 chance we might have a two week break since Jeff has two Thanksgivings to handle this year.  (On the other hand, we might have an ep. next week and then a skip after that -- please stay tuned...)

Hope you are as glad to have us back as we are to be back!  And as always, thank you for listening!

Wait, What? Ep. 133: Born Before '61

As I reacall, Patti Smith shit-talked the Bizarro Movement in Just Kids, didn't she?

yes yes yes this is a real thing that was published and yes yes yes it is Steve Gerber how did you know?

After the jump, another episode of our humble little show, complete with show notes that are even more humble and, um, even more little?

0:00-4:26: A weirdly off introduction! Words are exchanged about the weather, albeit briefly.There were some Natalie Merchant/10,000 Maniacs I was going to drop here in the show notes because she sings some song where the chorus mentions the weather, right?  I owned that Maniacs record where she sings about  beat writers and I don't know why, but thinking about that now makes me wish I could travel back in time and punch myself in the face.  I mean, technically, I could just punch myself in the face right now without the time travel (and god knows, there's plenty of times where I do exactly that, most days) but it seems like it would be letting the me of the record-buying era off far too easily. 4:26-17:20: "You know what it is?  It's nature preparing us for James Spader as Ultron." And with that, we are officially off to the races!  Also covered: Variety headlines; Nextwave: Agent of Hate; Ben Stein; every Ultron story ever; and Dan Slott's interview on the Nerdist. 17:20-26:47:  This leads to us talking more specifically about Superior Spider-Man by (you guessed it) Dan Slott and various artists. 26:47-33:57: By contrast, Graeme also has a lot to say about Young Avengers #9 by Kieron Gillen and Jamie McKelvie.  Graeme also is loving Wolverine and the X-Men by Jason Aaron and Nick Bradshaw (with heavy-duty spoilers at the 31:01 mark for about a minute?) 33:57-40:00: And we had positive things to say about Justice League #23 by Geoff Johns and Ivan Reis and the conclusion of Trinity War. (And there are spoilers here at 35:52 until about 37:00, if you want to avoid having one of the book's big moments revealed.) 40:00-43:31: The Batman Inc. Special! Dear god, am I going to list the times for every one of these books, and also whenever we spoil an important moment in that book?  I wonder who will find my desiccated corpse in this chair? Anyway, we talk about this grab bag "epilogue" with a special shout-out to the terribly executed afterword by Grant Morrison.  What the fuck, DC -- that is basically the special shout-out (spoilers!) -- what the fuck. 43:31-55:09: The American Vampire Anthology! Adventures of Superman #4 with stunning work by Chris Weston!

Action Comics by Scott Lobdell and Tyler Kirkham!  Superman Unchained by two unknown newcomers whose names escape me! 55:09-1:12:02: Superman related!  Jeff grabbed Superman: Phantom Zone by Steve Gerber and Gene Colan and he has mixed feelings about it.  Adoration, sure, I mean how can you not adore stuff like the image that heads up this entry but….well, there are things, and Jeff talks about them. (Oh, does he talk about them!) 1:12:02-1:25:42:  Graeme has read the latest Batwoman collection, Batwoman Vol. 3: World's Finest. And this leads to us talking about the fruits of collaboration, the current difficulty with seeing today's work as such, Stan Lee & Jack Kirby, and more. 1:25:42-1:34:59:  Speaking of Jack Kirby's OMAC: One Man Army Corps:

Jeff speed-reread all eight issues of OMAC and oh man that is glorious, glorious stuff. Since this was recorded the day after Jack Kirby's 96th birthday, we had to talk (all too briefly!) about the wonder that is the man's work. 1:34:59-1:38:03: Jeff also read the collected The End of the Fucking World by Charles Forsman, finally getting a chance to finish it many months after loving the first issue. 1:38:03-1:44:21: Jeff has read Batman 66 and walks to talk about it, and tries to instigate a bigger conversation about digital motion comics that, sadly, neither Graeme nor Jeff himself are really ready to have yet?  Oops. 1:44:21-1:53:53: This does lead us to discuss Infinity's infinite comic, which leads us to discuss recent work by Jonathan Hickman for Marvel, which leads us to discuss Matt Fraction's work for Marvel, which leads to... 1:53:53-end: Closing comments!  Ben Affleck as Batman! Scary fingers! And…scene.

Look to the skies! (By which I mean: iTunes!) Look to the skies! (By which I also mean:  our RSS feed, which is absurdly long now.  It's like the opening scrawl to Star Wars -- it just scrolls into the horizon forever, at this point.)  The candy-coated skies!  (By which I mean, uh... you are also welcome to check out the episode below, should you choose, at your leisure?)

Wait, What? Ep. 133: Born Before '61

As ever, we thank you for your kindly attention!

Wait, What? Ep. 127: Capers

Welcome to my nightmare, ladies and gentlemen.  My terrifying longbox filled nightmare.

After the jump: very quick shownotes because I am running behind, and I have a tummy ache! (And I am apparently eight!)

(Oh, and check out those John K(UK) posts below, would you?  They're very good -- I'm not even a father but I felt a special paternal glow from having all those 2001 covers and splash pages reprinted.  The perfect gift!

So, yes.  I may punk out shownotes-wise, but the podcast itself does not--Two hours! No intermission!  As many exclamation points as a Steve Englehart comic!

0:00-11:48: Opening comments; the longbox project; steampunk; the search for comic book cockery. 11:48-28:23: Kick-Ass 2 Prelude: Hit-Girl.  One of us read it.  Who? And, more importantly: Why? 28:23-45:58: Also discussed:  Superman: The Secrets of the Fortress of Solitude trade paperback, with a discussion of Superman and his fortress through the years; Superman painting; Superman's friendships; Superman's robot; Superman's thong; and more. 45:58-51:48: Graeme has read Action Comics #21, and Superman #20, and has things to say about both. 51:48-1:04:48: And we both picked up Superman Unchained #1 by Scott Snyder and Jim Lee, so there's some talk about that, too. 1:04:48-1:11:28: Pleased with his experience reading 2000AD digitally, Jeff has subscribed to Judge Dredd Megazine digitally.  Sadly, there's a whole weird intermission where Jeff goes off to find out what the digital graphic novel packed in with the Megazine is…and fails.  Enjoy, everybody!  (Turns out it was Downlode Tales Vol. 3 for 335 Black Light Vol. 1 for 336). 1:11:28-1:32:48: Batman: Zero Year (or Batman #21 as it's known in the colonies) by Scott Snyder and Greg Capullo--also read by both Graeme and Jeff! We squabble, we tussle, we disagree about The Riddler. Sadly, Jeff brings up a potentially great topic--our five favorite Batman villains--and derails it just seconds later due to his befuddlement about Forever Evil.  Oh, Jeff. 1:32:48-end: Graeme has reread Brightest Day (because apparently this is our DC books from the library week).  We talk about whether or not the New 52 helped or hindered Johns' Aquaman pitch, whether the New 52 is stabilizing or destabilizing, and other delightful topics.  Also discussed:  Suicide Squad #21 by Ales Kot and Patrick Zircher; Supermag by Jim Rugg; Empowered Animal Style by Adam Warren and John Staton; Relish by Lucy Knisley; Jennifer Blood #28 by Mike Carroll & Kewber Baal ; Star Wars #6 by Brian Wood and Carlos D'Anda; the saddest afterword in the world; and more.  And then it is done!

Choosy mothers who choose Jif know that four out of five dentists listen to Wait, What? on iTunes, but the podcast is certainly available for you right here and  right now right below:

Wait, What? Ep. 127: Capers

As always, we hope you enjoy, and thank you for listening!

Smitty Gets in with Four Comics from 6/12

(Knock, Knock) Hello friend.  I represent the universal church of Cyber Terrorist Group, Ascension.  Perhaps you've heard of us?  Though rumours abound regarding our lack of resources - I assure you - we will play a role in the new Superman Unchained comic pamphlet!

SUPERMAN UNCHAINED #1

Snyder / Lee

DC COMICS $4.99

QUICK, TO THE JUMP FOR ---------

EASY there Mr. "heir to the throne."  Lord and master of DC Comics for the forseeable future...we get it.  Sheesh.

LOW OK, mostly for the handling of the supporting cast. Although, personally, I’ve had it up to my neck with their choice for puppet master villain / hate monger. Since when did this guy enter the pantheon of “worthy adversaries?”

SUPERBOY #21

Jordan / Silva

DC COMICS $2.99

Justin Jordan is in and I’m curious to see him moving forward. Here he’s using the secret organization that spawned Superboy to deliver a little one-off. Hopefully, that puts the character on the path to tying up that nagging entity. Hell, it’s only been 21 issues, right?

Maybe Lobdell was writing for the Omnibus?

Anyhow, Jordan’s pretty good right out of the gate with the quippy quippy but I wish they had worked harder to play up the lost and unfocused Stranger in a Strange Land aspect of Superboy as he was constituted in the Nu52. Now he seems poised to be yet another teen loudmouth – JOY!

I was and sketchily remain a big proponent of RB Silva’s work. However, either his pencils are becoming erratically loose or the Rob Lean inks are going over the top in a lot of unnecessary ways. If you look back on the work this pair did for the Jimmy Olsen special with Nick Spencer you find a much cleaner, balanced, and altogether more pleasing look. Now it’s going for a basement version of a Joe Mad and Chris Bachalo aesthetic and I am not enamored. More Maguire faces, please. Less squished figures and overwrought inks. My overall read is of a thoroughly EH comic but it’s had pleasures throughout.

WORLD’S FINEST #13

Levitz / Rocha

DC COMICS $2.99

Robson Rocha’s opening splash is classically exploitative in its contortions of Power Girl but his depictions of Huntress are really quite nice. Come to think of it, I think Power Girl’s costume just changed back to old DC between issues with no explanation? I'll have to look it up… Oh, yeah, editorial mandate to be sure. Occurred in the last 1/3rd of #12 with little reason. Anywho, the juxtaposition of the two leads– one with powers beyond belief and the other merely human have been played throughout the series to good effect by “old reliable” Paul Levitz. That aspect continues here as Karen and Helena are haunted by what looks like an amped up version of a member of the Apokolips Dog Cavalry. Levitz, and I mean this as a compliment, is workmanlike in his development and execution. We get a chase, a fight, a little info dump, and a partial resolution. All appreciated. Still, I was fairly disappointed we didn’t get at least half of the Maguire / Perez art squad.  OK

BATMAN #21

YEAR ZERO

Snyder / Capullo

DC COMICS $3.99

Great. We’ve run through his “definitive” Joker story so now we get his definitive “Origin” story. Father, I shall become a Bat…MAN ON A BAT DIRTBIKE WITH A CROSSBOW AND SLEEVELESS BATSUIT COWL COMBO?!?!

Alright, sign me up. Batman running around in a post trauma flooded out Gotham fighting weird street gangs? Batman as KAMANDI?!?! Jesus, just take all my mo…AHHH, CRAP. Of course that only lasted for 3 pages…

Wait, 5 months prior to six years ago? Now we’re back before Batman as Kamandi, which was technically before the Batman we see in Justice League #1?

Excuse me, but what the shit?  A TIMELINE SO STREAMLINED AND EFFICIENT IT MAKES NO SENSE.  We are on the bleeding edge, people.

Anyway, Capullo’s stuff looks great and Bruce Wayne is written as having some real brass balls here as he goes up against the human size and shaped lipstick that is called Red Hood. Seriously, the dude looks more like a walking cherry push-pop than anything else. I dunno. It fits with the “Batman fights weirdos” motif but the look is really pushing it. Still, the introduction of a few key faces, some people I’m totally unfamiliar with and an inciting incident that bares no resemblance to the origin myth I know is definitely going to keep me around. All I ask is that we get to eventually spend some quality time with Batmandi and I am ON BOARD….(BWWWWWAAAHHHM)

GOOD!

So, all in all, a deeply troubling haul from DC Entertainment this week. Here’s hoping Man of Steel is a smart enough movie to swipe liberally from Mark Waid’s Superman work without giving him any kind of credit!

Bustin' on the ones -- Hibbs duz 6/12/2013

ON New Comics Day? What? Well, don't get used to it, but I felt bad about skipping last week, that I thought I'd get way ahead on this one.  Below the jump, and all.

A1 #1 (of 6): I'm certain I have mentioned this before, but anthologies are a wicked hard sell for American audiences -- despite being essentially the "default" option for other comics markets internationally (UK and Japan in particular) -- and I suspect someone much cleverer than I could figure out something about the Essential National Character of each culture based upon their comic markets. But that isn't me.

I will note that I think we don't like anthologies in the US because I believe we judge the entire package by the WEAKEST contribution, and that we want comics to Get To The Point a little more than others. a1 is a British production -- and, in fact, is the second go 'round at least for the name, as there was a pretty nice set of thick squarebound black & white comics also from packager Dave Elliot.

THAT set was a solid mix of "big names" with people I'd never heard of (back then), and, if you can find those original six, you might be surprised how much formative work there was on display there.

In this batch, however, I don't think we're going to look back at in two decades later with a "Wow!", because, if anything, this is kind of merely a comics-formatted 2000 AD, without the "boy's action!" angle. Plus? 2 of the three serials are written by Elliot.

The problem with those two is that (and this is often a problem with both anthologies AND, I would argue, UK creators specifically) that their premises are not explicit in the first chapter. "The Weirding Willows" seems like some sort of semi-LOEG literary mash-up, but there's no real reason to be interested in the protagonist, Alice,  other than "cute blonde" -- she walks through a bunch of supporting characters, but engages with virtually none of them and there's no narrative thrust on display. You can't spend your page count "world building" in 8 page installments until AFTER you've earned your audience's interest.

Elliot's  second serial, "Odyssey", doesn't even bother trying to provide a protagonist, just showing us a bunch of scientists and dire results in its WW2 milieu. Ugh, not THAT hoary chestnut again. Maybe maybe maybe I could deal with it if there was a single sympathetic character on display, but, literally, every character in this opening is loathsome.

In the hammock is "carpediem" by W.H. Rauf and Rhoald Marcellius which is much more palatable, introducing 7+ new characters AND giving them a complete adventure at the same time, while really having some very nice cartoony art attached to it, but too much of the heavy lifting is done by punning and British humor. Still, it's the one serial in the book I'd actually be willing to read more of.

So, overall, that's a pretty textbook EH.

SIX-GUN GORILLA #1 (of 6): See, you have a comic book called "Six-gun Gorilla" that stars a pistol-wielding gorilla, I am of the mind that you start and finish every damn page with the ape, and you don't wait until the last page or three to have the critter show up. It's that UK  world-building thing again (the world in question is, hm, a reality show of an eternal war, and it's rich enough) -- any 'murican should be able to tell ya you start with the explosion, and only ramp it up from there. In media res, byee-otch!

The shame of it is, I really did like this adequately, but who wants to wait for the second issue until the title character is a real presence? that makes this just OK.

SUPERMAN UNCHAINED #1: I wanted to like this, but I think that the reason I'm merely ambivalent is the Jim Lee art. He's simply not a Superman artist. That's not to say he can't draw Superman -- he does just fine -- but his line-style just really doesn't work on an ongoing Superman comic.  Oh, and the coloring? Too too too dark for the character (that cover, especially, doesn't scream "buy me!")

This also also features a fold out poster (though that's not cover-blurbed, go figure), which raises the price to a massive $4.99, but it's so awkward and stops the story cold (on page 5, to boot!) and it's not something that I see anyone hanging on their wall (Wow, Superman is fighting some wires!), so I really don't get the point (other than, y'know, market share games)

I liked Scott Snyder's story just fine (and that's the majority of the basis of my final grade), but, I just feel like the art is working against the story in every place. I sort of hope, kind of, that Jim stays on for just the first arc, and then they hand it off to someone with a REALLY clean style.

Anyway, I liked the writing enough to give a very low GOOD.

(Joe Hill's) THUMBPRINT #1 (of  3): Liked this.  Based on a novella by Hill (which I've never read), and it does a good job presenting a sympathetic protagonist, who could be an antagonist as well. The art by Vic Malhotra has a nice Aja / Samnee thing going on and was much of the drawing point for me (because at just three issues, this seems like it will read better in collection).  I really don't have much more to say, but I was trying to hit all of the #1s this week, so.... GOOD.

THE TRUE LIVES OF THE FABULOUS KILLJOYS #1 (of 6): Gerard Way's new comic (co-written with Shaun Simon) is pretty pants-shittingly terrific. This is a rich sci-fi world -- and one that I'm not entirely sure that I followed with each and every jump. But it didn't really matter, because I look forward to finding out the details.  It has backstory text pages and everything. I liked the characters, I liked the setup, and I especially liked some of the poetry of the writing ("One day... our bodies will only belong to each other, and the streets will be for shopping, not working" says one sex android to the other).

There is a crazy density to the world, which is so supremely helped by the fabulous artwork of Beck Cloonan. This is awesome comic which probably couldn't have been done in any other media, and my only regret about it is that it is only 6 issues. EXCELLENT.

A USERS GUIDE TO NEGLECTFUL PARENTING GN: I think Guy Delisle is a splendid cartoonist -- he's got a strong line, and his timing is perfect and impeccable. The stories in this book are hysterical and universal and absolutely heart-felt and True. And yet, for all of that, I'm ultimately going to pan this book. Why?

Format.

This is presented as a paperback sized package with two panels per page. 192 pages, with a $12.95 cover price (which is much much better than the original solicited $16.95 cover price -- it has a sticker over the original price, yikes, so I don't know whether it was an exchange rate thing, or that someone got it in their hand, and realized they couldn't possibly charge that much). And I, no shit, TORE through this on a single bus ride home. Under 13 minutes from cover to cover, even stopping and going back a few times to admire his pacing on the jokes. Ow.  That makes the $5 SUPERMAN UNCHAINED look like a friggin' bargain.  It is simply 2-3 times what this should cost for the actual density of the content.

Again: that content is GREAT, and would rate a VERY GOOD, at least, on its own (I only wish that the [few] "Shit" and "Fuck"s had been dropped, otherwise this would be a GREAT all-ages title.. my 9 year old woulda loved reading these, and laughing at old dad commonalities), but the package is so criminally egregious that I have to drag it all the way down to EH. *sad panda*

Right, that's me for today at least.... what did YOU think?

-B

Wait, What? Ep. 88: Starry-Eyed Cynics

Yup, we continue to make headway on Operation: Q&A, with perhaps as many as *ten* full questions answered in this, Episode 88 of your friendly, neighborhood Wait, What? podcast.

The wolf is at my door (figuratively speaking) so allow me to fill you in on what to expect and then I'll have to run (literally speaking--I don't know, it gets complicated but you can figure it out):

For a hearty two hours and five minutes (with the first ten devoted strictly to music talk), Graeme McMillan and I gab about which Alan Moore's universe we'd like to see continued; the recent first issues of Batman Inc., The Ravagers, and Superman Family Adventures; Erik Larsen and The Savage Dragon; digital content and comics as a niche market; who gets a bigger free pass--Marvel or DC; Greg Rucka and Brian Bendis' discussion over at the Mulholland Books website; the degrees of freelancer success; Scott Kurtz and cynicism; Jim Lee and the role of creators in corporate comics; and really just so much oh my god you guys I cant even begin to tell you

Those with an Internet connection and our patented SynethesiaGoggles may have already watched the warp and woof of our mellifluous mouthtones on iTunes, but you can also have a grainier, more auditory, and some would even say more fulfilling (but that may be because they didn't want to fork over the extra fiver for the goggles) experience below:

Wait, What? Ep. 88: Starry-Eyed Cynics

As ever, please secure your bags either below your seat or in the overhead bins before departure, and thank you for listening!

Wait, What? Ep. 80: Bats and Birds

Apologies to those of you already pestered with this image on Twitter:  I thought it was worth a re-use, in no small part because I must once again plead mentis mortis (I have no doubt I'm handling this dead language so poorly, a charge of necrophilia could well be leveled), thanks to how late it is that I'm composing this and where I'm at for a variety of reasons that will probably become clear once you hear Wait, What? 81 next week.  (Hint: it's a terrifying topic Graeme and I have tackled before.)

But enough of that for now, there's a podcast to be had!  Wait, What? Ep. 80, in fact, a done-in-one of approximately two hours and twenty-five minutes in length.  Yes, you all know I can be pretty wishy-washy (I prefer the verb "to waffle," for obvious reasons) and Graeme and I both thought there were a lot of great and compelling arguments made for keeping this in one.  I do appreciate the minority views, however, and wish I could figure out a way to appease both parties (or offer some consolation for the two part crowd) .  Hopefully, I'll figure something out.

Yes, so--a done-in-one, with the first forty minutes or so being the mighty Graeme McMillan and I talking the reception to the John Carter movie, the lack of interesting Wondercon news, shelling pistachios, costume design, and conspiracy theories about bad movies.

Then, once it becomes obvious, we should maybe start in on the comics and not worry about waiting for a break, we really hit the gas, and start in on recently read comics, including The Wasteland Omnibus, reading The Flash and writing for the trades, Justice League #7 and the Shazam! back-up, Secret Avengers: The Children's Crusade, Avengers X-Sanction #4, Wolverine #303, Dominique LeVeau Voodoo Queen, Wonder Woman #7, Astonishing X-Men and Wolverine and The X-Men, and a heckuva lot more.

You interested?  Oh, come on!  All the cool kids are doing it!  Look on iTunes: iTunes is doing it!  Look right here at this entry, just below!  This entry is doing it!  Don't you want to try it?  Aw, come on!  It'll be cool:

Wait, What? Ep. 80: Bats and Birds

(See, I warned you--admittedly in debased Latin--about how braindead I was!  Nonetheless, I promise to do better next time.  And, as always, thank you for listening!)

Hibbs remembers reviews, sure, faintly

I feel fairly awful because I really didn't want to post anything anywhere on SOPA-protest day, but I also really really want to tell you about a comic I truly enjoyed, and since I've been so crappy in saying anything about any comic for the last few weeks (seriously, mid-November through to February is terrible for me because I'm so stupidly busy at the whole "owning your own retail business" thing from the holidays and year-end work), if I don't write it today, I don't write it at all this week. So, join me below the jump?

JUSTICE LEAGUE #5: After what I thought was a really weak start, I think each issue of JL has gotten better than the last, and this issue is... is... er, is not here?

I feel like one of those cartoons where someone get's so mad that their head transforms into an old-timey whistle, and steam flies out of their ears.

My first point of frustration is that this is THE best-selling DCnu title, and the one that DC should be going to measures up to and including sending the marketing team to individually hand-deliver copies to stores if needed. If one of the already-cancelled books like MISTER TERRIFIC ships a week late, "it doesn't matter", but JL #5 would have been my single number one dollar item of the week, and is a large traffic driver.

Second, it makes me a liar, even indirectly -- I've really been stressing to local consumers that DC books now have ACTUAL ship weeks these days, I had to explain a lot right during the 5th week hole. And this claim was especially repeated with JL (and it's funky start pattern) -- "JUSTICE LEAGUE *IS* a third week book!". Except now it's not.

Third, it totally screws up FOC, which are placed 3 weeks before print date, and thus is meant to give us the first week sales patterns on books before we order the next one. Now we'll have to order #6 without that information. That's very very messed up.

Fourth, DC HAS NOT SAID ANYTHING through established communication channels. Well, unless you count those bullshit tweets insisting the book was shipping on time, despite not being on anyone's invoice, which were then retracted. They certainly didn't bother to tell any retailer in any official way (I'm looking at the last two weeks of DIRECT CHANNEL [DC's retailer newsletter], and the best they did was to slide the new shipdate into a story about JL#1 getting a sixth printing), nor is there anything out there for consumers either on the Source, or on any of the "major news sites". Where is the explanation, where is the apology?

Fifth, of course it has to happen with on the book by the Chief Creative Officer, and the Co-Publisher -- two people who probably can not be removed from the book or even penalized in any way. Way to provide the best possible example.

(And if you're one of those darling little apologists who want to bray "give Jim Lee a break, he just had a baby", let me point you to Jim's tweet on 12/27 [how the hell do you find a permalink from Twitter?!?!?] that says "Introing our newest creation-River Charlotte Lee!7.10# She waited til my deadline was done! Mom @joke2far doing great http://pic.twitter.com/iZQHe85y" which would indicate to me, at least, the birth did NOT interfere.)

(Congrats on the birth, by the way, Jim -- children are a blessing, and I hope River has a long and wonderful life!)

Clearly, life will go on, and the sun will rise, despite comic books being late, but I'm pretty appalled they couldn't even make it a full year before they blew it. And on this book, of all books.

*sigh*

And for the comic that actually arrived...

PROPHET #21:  Wowsers, I haven't read such a good debut in a very long time. It's very Heavy Metal Sans Titties -- maybe "Conan meets Ringworld"? And it's smart, and world buildy, and challenging, and yet totally action-packed and forward-sprinting. I haven't liked a comic as much as this one since XOMBI #1, and, unlike that one, the sales threshold is unlikely to cancel it by #6 (I hope at least!)

The bad news is that the West Coast (I think.. at least three stores in California...) got allocated to 90% of their orders, and I don't see the balance on next week's invoice, so you might have to wait until your store gets the (already announced) second printing -- I've got twice my initials coming as a reorder next week (though how those all fill when I'm *not* getting the balance due of my allocation is a wonderful Mystery of Diamond Comics) -- but this is a comic that you VERY much want.

It's EXCELLENT!

As always, what do you think?

-B

nu52: The First Two

So the first thing I realized last night is 13 books a week is almost too much to read in one sitting, at least not without getting a bit of a headache. Then I realized that, with what I have going to today and tomorrow (check back in a few hours, you'll see!), that even worse there's absolutely no way I can write up that many books either in the time I have this AM.

(Plus, y'know, Diamond shorted all of my copies of STORMWATCH #1 -- it is being overnighted to me on their dime, thankfully -- so that wouldn't have worked anyway)

So, let's just hit the first two, below the jump, with the rest by the weekend!

JUSTICE LEAGUE #1: Mm. Last week, you may recall, I said I wanted to wait on reviewing JL #1. Two reasons for that -- one, I really did want context of the rest of the launch to see how good or bad it might be, and 2) I really thought it was fairly terrible and I didn't want to scare prospective customers off in the critical week #1. Well, turns out that last bit wasn't something I needed to worry about (we still have copies... but I doubt they'll last for another 7 days), but man you should have seen me tying myself in knots in the store to be unfailingly positive when customers asked me (quite rightly) "So, how was it?"

Here's the thing about JL #1: it doesn't really read like a fresh start at all (What it REALLY reads like? A free comic that you get with a toy) -- to me, it sort of felt like an old proposal for a JLA: Year One mini-series that was dusted off, and had the smooth edges polished off to try and fit into the new mandate.

In particular, it is nowhere near a full story, and it is "written for the trade", and pretty much nothing happens at all; and it doesn't even have all of the characters that are on the cover (at least one of them doesn't even exist yet!) -- and yet it is an ass-raping $4 cover price.

What I'm trying to figure out is if this means that a) no one at DC actually knows how to edit a comic book any longer (because me? I would have thrown this script back with "Yeah, that's an OK first draft, now give me some meat") because "editors" are largely "traffic managers" these days, b) Geoff, etc didn't get that this was the A#1  chance to bring back the lapsed, because the cost/value ratio here is crazy out of whack, possibly because this could be a 2 year old script, or c) No one on staff feels comfortable telling the 800 and 900 pound gorillas that they're phoning it in.

Maybe all 3.

Fundamentally, this comic would not have me coming back week-after-week for more, if I were a lapsed reader. In fact, this comic would have reconfirmed my decision to abandon comics, because it is underbaked, and overpriced.

One of the most frustrating things for me was the lack of any visible villain -- you shouldn't need two of your biggest guns to play tag with a foot soldier -- and the tortured logic of the plothammer. The Parademon (?) left behind a mother box? Muh? Green Lantern, a space-based character in an alien-based corps leaps to the conclusion that the alien Superman might be responsible? Wha?

Also: Darkseid? Already? On day #1? That's the kind of character you should BUILD to -- didn't Kirby take like a year or two before we even saw the guy?

Bits of the art were very clever -- I liked the multi-tasking GL constructs for example -- but I thought that, overall, the whole process felt creaky and tired.

Here's what I'm saying about editorial as well: The original (announced!) plan was that Flashpoint #5 would be the only book shipping last week. Then they changed it to FP and JL. This might have always been the SECRET plan, but it did represent a change from the original. JL, however, is a 3rd week book, which means it will be SEVEN WEEKS between #1 & #2. So, someone thought it wise to specifically rewrite the announced plan, make JL #2 FEEL "late" from the first day of the launch, and launch with a book that's nowhere near a "full reading experience" (and crazy expensive, at that). I kind of don't see that being done for sound commercial reasons (I mean, speaking as the guy who gets to SELL these, have a RANGE OF CHOICES for the big launch week is way way way way better than having one single title), and it just feels like an ego stroke.

Meh.

I thought JL #1 was pretty resoundingly AWFUL, and that's a crying shame.

ACTION COMICS #1: This, on the other hand, was everything I want from a rebooted Superman comic. Amazingly retro, yet cutting age fresh, completely jam packed with story, yetit zips along like an out-of-control train, and it puts Grant Morrison at 15 for 15 for Excellent Superman Comics.. THIS should have been the Week #1 solo book (and it would have really supported JL #1's ending at that)

I like this Superman, and I'm absolutely terrified of him as well. I'd like to see the JL *he* forms, because that would really be about JUSTICE.

I dug Rags' art, I dig the lo-fi costume, I absolutely adore the "leaking" heat vision eyes.

This is a Superman comic for people who "don't like Superman".

I thought it was EXCELLENT!

Right, out of time already (sigh, check back later tonight), so, as always, what did YOU think?

-B

Jim Lee's Digital visual analogy

I'm just back from Dallas, and the 2011 ComicsPRO meeting. It was a very very very good meeting -- there is literally not a more productive weekend in comics on the calendar, though a lot of what happened and was discussed won't, necessarily, interest you the consumer. I will, I think, have a much fuller report in a few weeks in  the next TILTING, but in the meantime I want to share one bit while its still fresh in my mind.

A lot of time was spent on discussing Digital, as you might expect, but early on on the first day, DC co-Publisher Jim Lee made a visual analogy that sort of guided my thinking for the rest of the weekend.

Jim held up two hands. In one hand he had a regular 8 1/2 x 11 piece of paper, and in the other, he had a piece of dental floss. The former, he said, represented the revenues from print comics. The latter? Revenue from digital.

Now, clearly, digital will continue to grow -- heck, maybe with a lot of effort and brain cycles, it might even grow to be the size, say, of an index card, but the actual real on-the-ground reality of digital comics sales are that they are a virtually (heh) insignificant way of making money for the publishers.

This same idea was echoed again and again and again by each and every publisher at the meeting, and even the very providers of digital services: this is not a significant revenue generator as of yet, and certainly NOWHERE NEAR able to match, let alone surpass, the sales from physical print comics.

We're a niche market. A successful niche, to be sure, but a niche nonetheless, and not one that simply putting comics content in front of civilians will INHERENTLY and effortlessly drive sales of any huge value to the overwhelming majority of the market participants. As near as I can tell, most to the evidence says that digital is selling primarily to the lapsed or geographically-unable-to-participate markets (40%, I kept hearing over and over again, of sales are coming from Europe) (40% of a piece of dental floss, remember!)

If you're a rah-rah digital booster, that's perfectly fine. But I'd ask you not to make the same mistakes of the previous generations of fans-but-not-business-people who have said things like "If only we had comics related movies, that will fix all of our problems!" or "Manga sales are going to solve all of our problems!" or "If only we were in bookstores, we'd solve all our problems!" or any of that. All of these theories have turned out to.... well, not be reality-based is the kindest way to put it.

Digital isn't a magic bullet, and virtually every person with an actual business involvement in the production and sales of comics understands this. Digital is magic dental floss.

-B

All-WHAT?! -- Hibbs continues 5/16

ALL-STAR BATMAN AND ROBIN THE BOY WONDER #5: Paul Levitz apparently thinks that DC's publication of THE BOYS could do some theoretical harm to their core superhero business, or taint the icons, or something. This makes me wonder what Paul made of THIS.

Since it is the ACTUAL icons.

The strangest thing is that, had Frank Miller been drawing this, I'd probably have found it amusing and satirical and maybe even a little funny. But with Jim Lee? Lee is THE mainstream superhero comic book artist, so it adds a layer of weight and Importance to it all that just absolutely demands it be taken Seriously, and, thus, renders any satire as stone-faced earnestness.

But, really, REALLY, Levitz cancelled THE BOYS and continues to publish this? Really?

AWFUL.

What did you think?

-B