I am given to understand that self-proclaimed Futurist and alleged butter sculptor Warren Ellis is currently writing the comic book adventures of Britain’s favourite misogynistic throwback tool of the ruling elite. Not only that, but word has reached me that said knuckle faced sop to the Pre-Suez nostalgists like Your Grand-Dad is also currently tumbling out of explosions and beds while adjusting his cuffs at a Multiplex near you. Talking about James Bond there, not Warren Ellis. Although, having said that, having said that…no, definitely James Bond. So, what could be more appropriate then, than to write about a completely different set of comics Warren Ellis wrote and Declan Shalvey illustrated. Probably a lot of things would be more appropriate, John. Yes, but this is what you got. Life lessons, we got 'em! MOON KNIGHT by Shalvey, Ellis, Bellaire & Eliopoulos

Anyway, this… MOON KNIGHT VOL.1: FROM THE DEAD Artist – Declan Shalvey Writer – Warren Ellis Colour Artist – Jordie Bellaire Letterer – VC's Chris Eliopoulos Contains material previously published in magazine form as MOON KNIGHT #1-6 MARVEL WORLDWIDE INC, $17.99 (US), $19.99 (CAN) (2014) Moon Knight created by Don Perlin & Doug Moench © 2014 Marvel Characters, Inc.

NB: This book was obtained from Derbyshire County Council's excellent Library Service. Do NOT let them take your libraries away.

In which we join Declan Shalvey and Warren Ellis in Marvel's continuing battle to make anyone care about Moon Knight (MK) post Bill Sienkiewicz. Changes have been made. Changes not only to the creative personnel but also to the set up itself. MK doesn’t have his old supporting cast anymore, but he does have a special Moon Mobile which is dead flash; like one of those big long cars, you know, like those limousines teenagers and hen parties hire to drive around Grimsby town centre in for reasons which quickly escape them. It drives itself, because of course it does. That’s Warren Ellis, The Futurist there (“In the Future cars will be faster, literally, and maybe have, uh, bigger wheels! MAYBE FLIGHT IS INVOLVED!!! Hic!”) MK also has a drone thing, because drones are bad except in the hands of insane vigilantes who are unaccountable to anyone. Then they are cool. More spooky Futurism there probably (“Everyone (burp!) will have their own drone, like. To go down the shops and that, yeah? I drink whisky and swear. AND YOU CAN’T HANDLE IT!!!”) Also, I misspoke back there because it turns out Sir Moon’s not nuts no more. So the whole “lunar” and “lunatic” wordplay thing has gone for a Burton. Shame, I liked that but then I am a bit traditional. Hey, keep up, old man, tradition’s for tossers and it’s the 21st Century (according to my Cats in Funny Hats calendar) so in the first issue both MK and we are told (in a phrase clearly intended to be quote fodder, and who am I to disappoint (shut up, mother! SHUT UP!)), “You’re not insane. Your brain has been colonised by an ancient consciousness from beyond space-time. Smile.” Naturally, this being Warren Ellis the flop sweat scented linguistic razzle-dazzle errs away from the meaningful and more towards the polytechnic-lecturer-down-the-pub-with-the-new-intake-and-his-eye-on-the-wee-lassie-with-the-nose–ring-and-the badly-obscured-cold-sore. Like many an Ellis-ian concept splash it’s not like it ever gets mentioned again, but I think we all felt all the cooler for reading it. I know, being a simple soul, you might think having a character “colonised by an ancient consciousness from beyond space-time” might be something you’d want to expand upon a bit, but no. As it happens, astonishingly enough, it doesn’t matter because MK still acts like someone who needs a hug and a good chat. Just in a different way.

MOON KNIGHT by Shalvey, Ellis, Bellaire & Eliopoulos

Visually MK is redesigned as a man in a suit with a bag over his head. (Well, sometimes he isn’t, but it’s this image that works best and that you come away from the book with, so in the interests of brevity: a man with a suit with a bag over his head.) Sounds silly but it isn’t. It’s a good design; men in suits generally look really quite grand, I find. Lot of graphic potential in a suit, you know. It’s just plain classy for a start. The bag’s okay visually too, and is a proper bit of Futurism because, and there is no way Warren “Future Sailor” Ellis could possibly have known this when he wrote the book, shops now charge you for a carrier. I am forever being caught out by this, but MK can just stick his chicken dippers in his hastily doffed headgear. No fool he. I imagine (many things, but let’s stick to this one) Declan Shalvey is the one who makes the redesign work quite as well as it does. (“He’s in a suit now, Declan, not that capey thing. Oh, stop whining, JUST BLOODY DRAW IT!!!”) It’s a sharply cut suit and the visual potential of a nicely draped ensemble’s ability to communicate flow and to just generally cut a flash dash on the page is fully realised by the man Shalvey. Someone has also decided not to colour MK in which makes him really pop off the page. Pages beautifully toned by Bellaire's subtly muted shades. Unlike Warren Ellis the Irish human being Declan Shalvey is a new one on me, but he’s very much worth watching as an artist (as opposed to watching as a “suspect”, but never rule anything out, eh). I was first struck by his apparent talent when I noted the jaunty angle at which he had cocked MK’s shoe sole on the initial splash. By the end of the book there was nothing apparent about it, Declan Shalvey was pretty firmly established in my fractured mind as a Talent with a capital “T”. Which is lucky, because sometimes it’s Shalvey’s Talent that makes the book work as well as it does. Which is why everyone refers to it as Declan Shalvey’s MOON KNIGHT, right? Oh.

MOON KNIGHT by Shalvey, Ellis, Bellaire & Eliopoulos

It’s easy to knock Warren Ellis (so I did) but in his defence FROM THE DEAD collects six issues, the majority of which are very strong done-in ones (they vary, but are mostly good times). It’s possible Ellis even put his drink down and typed with both hands on some of them. Inevitably though there’s a couple of underdone slips into the worst of Warren Ellis’ patented Post-It Note plotting. He gets a lot of stick for this, but in all fairness sometimes this works (and equally sometimes it doesn’t). I guess it depends how detailed his Post-It Note gets before he collapses from the exertion of coming up with a crunchy hi-concept soundbite hook. Because all these issues have a crunchy high-concept soundbite hook, but they don’t all have a story. I would hesitate to suggest that Warren Ellis occasionally has his writerly priorities wrong since, you know, he’s the feted millionaire author with a built-in audience and I’m the erratic crank who has his hair cut at home and whose own love partner won’t read his stuff, but it did cross my mind every now and again. Particularly during “Box” which seemed to be based on “Moon Knight punches Ghost Punks!” and then forgot to be about anything else, although there was some half-hearted stuff about gentrification and a sad music box. All of which possibly interesting stuff was shuffled to the side-lines, because who doesn’t love pages of Moon Knight punching ghost punks! Haw, Haw. Oh, that tickles me. Ghost punks. Punching. Well worth all those pages. (There’s some sarcasm going on there but as I don’t use emoticons I’m just going to have to risk you missing it). It’s okay, sometimes comics creators are clearly having a lot more fun than their audience (Matt Fraction) which is fine in moderation (everyone else). Oh, Shalvey tries his best and it is gorgeous stuff, but storywise at base “Box” is pretty thin gruel. However, in all fairness, “Scarlet” works really well and that one’s just “Moon Knight beats up five floors of thugs to rescue a little girl.” Which as a story is equally austere in its development and complexity (“Declan, child, I have seen this film called THE RAID. DELIVER THAT UNTO ME, YOU CUR!!!”) But, ah, ah, but, crucially, this one is rich as Croesus in the visual opportunities it offers up to Declan “I can” Shalvey. The brutal choreography and general illusion of movement created by Shalvey’s art here is superlative stuff and truly cinematic in the very best sense. I winced more than once at the imaginary violence on show.

MOON KNIGHT by Shalvey, Ellis, Bellaire & Eliopoulos

Since Shalvey saves “Scarlet” there’s only really “Box” which is a damp squib. “Sleep” gamely attempts to present a creepy mystery; one which Ellis has given a decent beginning and a solid ending, but during the (lengthy) mid-section relies so hard on Shalvey’s phantasmagorical fungi fuelled hallucinations it’s only they that prevent its title becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy. “Slasher” is impressive for not only introducing the new MK set up with economical élan but also for cramming in a serial killer who MK hunts and bests using his intelligence. It even finds room for a little dig at the weaponisation of humanity to keep things current (“THEY’LL TURN US ALL INTO GUNS, I TELL YOU!!! Oh look, HOLLYOAKS is on”). It’s a tidy comic book script and Shalvey’s art keeps it interesting even during the largely static (and just on the right side of self-consciously flip) conversation bits, but it really hits its stride when things get a bit weird under the streets where the S.H.I.E.L.D. creeps sleep.

MOON KNIGHT by Shalvey, Ellis, Bellaire & Eliopoulos

“Sniper” raises the game in term of storytelling. Yeah, Ellis really exerts himself on the one about the sniper. Or maybe it’s the case that Shalvey nearly busts a gut on this one. Perhaps it’s even a joint strainer. Whatever the case may be, it’s really just an exercise in storytelling rather than a story as such. But it’s such a good exercise in storytelling you can forgive the bit where the man walks in at the end to explain the point of the story to Moon Knight. And since that point is that bankers are dangerous assholes and we should never forget this since we are all still trying to claw our way out of a recession their unregulated greed caused with very little impact on themselves, I’m inclined to leniency. “Sniper” is a thing of beauty in its execution. As Shalvey's countryman Frank Carson once said, “It's the way I tell 'em!” and in “Sniper” the way Shalvey & Ellis et al tell it is pure COMICS!!! The volume closes with a smart call back to the first issue, “Spectre” (Now THAT's impressive futurism.), where a bit part player goes entertainingly if somewhat unconvincingly nuts and tries to replace Moon Knight. I say unconvincingly nuts but if anyone was exposed to the previous volume of Moon Knight (apparently fuelled by “years of research” into MK’s condition. Oh, give over.) then in comparison Warren Ellis’ treatment of mental illness here resembles that of B.F. Skinner.

MOON KNIGHT by Shalvey, Ellis, Bellaire & Eliopoulos

Given the paucity of plot elsewhere there’s a surprising surfeit of it in “Spectre”, maybe too much. Might have been better to have it running as a sub plot through the other issues…but clearly it’s more important that each issue be “stand alone” and self-contained” in line with whatever high-falutin’ modus operandi Warren Ellis has informed the world he is operating under via interviews I haven’t read (“NOW HEAR THIS!!! NOW HEAR THIS!!!). Remember all that horsefeathers about “comics as 7-inch pop singles” (“One day there will be 12-INCH POP SINGLES!!! Mark my words!”)? I know I am forever picking up copies of FELL and exclaiming, wow, this is like the comic as a 7-inch pop single! Rather than, Oh, yeah, another series he just left floating like the sad corpse of a duck that didn’t make it through the winter! Obviously that whole 7-inch single thing is a bit dated now, so this time out these particular comics are probably “fibre optic nano-belches of picto-jism”. You know how he gets, that Warren Ellis. With his catchy tag lines and such. Oh, you can mock, you cur, but that’s what they pay him for. With MOON KNIGHT VOL1: BACK FROM THE DEAD Warren Ellis trots out his long running Warren Ellis schtick and gives us exactly what we expect, exactly what he gets paid for, warts and all. However, Declan Shalvey, the wee shaver, is a total and thoroughly pleasurable artistic revelation, so it’s on him that the book ends up with VERY GOOD!

Seriously, that “Sniper” Chapter is - COMICS!!!

I have reviews, yes, under the jump.

ARCHIE #632: In the "just because I can sell you one digitally" category, let's start off with this one. This is the third in the "Archie Gets Married" comics -- this time it's to... Valerie of Josie & The Pussycats? Uhm, OK? I must be horrible backwards on my Archie-ana lore, but I didn't even have the slightest idea that they'd ever even dated before? Did they? Oh, huh, wikipedia says that they first dated in ARCHIE #608 (2010) ("making her Archie's first black girlfriend; previously, Archie Comics has been very hesitant to depict interracial romantic relationships.") which sounds about par for the course for the modern Archie.

The thing of it is, in 2012 (or even 2010), the idea of a mixed race couple isn't much of a big deal... well, at least here it isn't; I'd say at least 20% of the families at Ben's school are mixed in one fashion or another... and if you opened that up to religions as well, it might be as much as half -- so it is really hard to find a dramatic hook in this; though that's clearly why Archie tried this as another "stunt" book.

What I found somewhat interesting here is that Archie's path in all of these "memory lane" stories is largely dictated by Archie's choices before he proposes -- for example in the "....marries Veronica" story, he's working for Mr. Lodge, while here he's a full-time musician with "The Archies" band. Implying that his choice of romance is dictated by his job.

I also find it a little weird that there's a little subplot about the paparazzi are very interested in this marriage, but most of it focuses on the Pussycats side. Why is that weird? Well, I don't know, it's kind of because Valerie is the "...& the Pussycats" portion, and the real world would seem to suggest that only the "front man" is considered famous -- what portion of the world could name a single member of "....& the New Bohemians" or "...& the Blackhearts"? Unless, in earth-Archie, the Pussycats are on par with the E. Street Band? Yet, conversely, Mr. Andrews band is *called* "The Archies" (which is actually weird, when you think about it, it's almost like, say, The Talking Heads being called "The Davids"), but it really doesn't read in the comic that he's the "star" of the band. Weird.

There's also this really weird 3 panel interlude where some chick with a white streak in her hair schemes to take Val's place in the Pussycats, but I have absolutely no clue whatsoever who she is supposed to be, since she's not named, and I don't have a degree in Pussycat-ology.

So, yah, cute, if house-style art, sloppy writing (both by Dan Parent), and low-stakes drama... yeah, it's an Archie comic, and it's certainly no worse than many I've read, and better than a few (like the Kiss crossover) -- it's perfectly competent and OK.

AVX VS #1: I'll say that the "this has no plot!" introduction page removed much of the weight that might follow here, and, yup, just punching. I pretty much disagree with the results of BOTH of the fights, as shown, especially since they were both X-Men losers, AND they were "worthy antagonists for an entire team of characters" characters, but it was still fun enough for the brainlessness of the work (I also liked the running "fun fact"s), but CHRIST ON A BIKE, $4? Are you nuts? Damn, that's just crazy brutal, takes it down at least two grades, relative to the depth of the content, and means all I can say is EH.

Also? I think it's kind of insane that the Parent book, titled "Avengers Vs. X-Men" looks like it's called "AvX" on the rack, while this one, which IS called "AvX" looks like it's actual title is "Avengers Vs X-Men" -- I don't think we can quite call that "bait and switch", but it's some dumb planning, if you ask me.

BATTLE SCARS #6: Seriously?

I mean, it's stupid enough that they're trying to align Marvel comics continuity with movie continuity (seriously, anytime the answer to "wait, who is that?" has to be answered with a paragraph long description, you've just fucked up your continuity), but to have a nearly last page reveal that "Marcus Johnson's" name WAS ALWAYS "Nick Fury", so that's what everyone is calling him now, is just kind of insanely dumb. There's also nothing in the text of the comic that would suggest that this kid is even vaguely competent enough to be made head of S.H.I.E.L.D., and, in fact, since his pal "Cheese"... er, I mean "Agent Coulson" (Gr!) bugged him in order to have the Avengers rescue his ass, I'd say the text suggest quite the contrary. At the least, the OLD Nick shoulda died... but he's still bouncing around in the background, so it's probably just a year or three before this gets reversed.

This might not suck if people actually cared, or bought it, but I've sold ZERO rack copies of #4 & 5 of this series, and #6 survived Wednesday without anyone showing any interest whatsoever. What if you threw an origin and nobody came?

Really the only positive thing I can say is that, as a $2.99 book, which Marvel has made self-cover, and removed 4 pages of ads, there's a significantly better reading experience by not having those ads. On the negative side, with the reduced cover stock and the one less signature, these $2.99 books have AWFUL "hand" -- they feel flimsy and cheap and terrible. I'd strongly recommend they pump the cover stock back up to compensate.

This was a badly told comic, for an unreasonable and unwanted goal, and that really makes it AWFUL.

MOON KNIGHT #12: I didn't write them up, but I really liked the twists of the last two issues, and of how Moonie's mental illness was being expressed, and I thought the book was finally actually going somewhere, but this issue just has the Avengers come in all Ex Machin-y, and makes the whole thing kind of pointless. Can Marvel now admit that Moon Knight can't carry a solo book? Even with Bendis and Maleev? Sadly, this last issue was very EH.

POPEYE #1: Another we'll-sell-it-to-you digitally book, and this one at least, I can thoroughly and unreservedly recommend. No, it isn't E.C. Segar, but it's done with so much respect for that original work, that it wouldn't feel out of place with Thimble Theatre. Roger Landgridge's script has the voices Just So, and the art by Bruce Ozella is astonishing -- absolutely in line with Segar, but it doesn't feel "old fashioned" or slavish for that. You couldn't really ask for a better first issue, though I was surprised to not see a single can of spinach on display. I thought it was VERY GOOD.

RICH JOHNSTONS CAPTAIN AMERICAN IDOL #1 RICH JOHNSTONS SCIENTHORLOGY #1: I think I can review this as a pair? Honestly, if Rich's name wasn't on these, I wouldn't have ordered a single copy; and even with is name on it, it's really only down to the audience that reads Bleeding Cool. These kind of look hacked out to my eye, or cashed-in, your choice, and while each has an amusing moment or two in them (Thor punching someone in a Guy Fawkes mask, saying "thou art Anonymous!" is the height of the wit here), the best thing they have going for them is David Hasslehoff cast as Curtis Joh... er, I mean, Nick Fury. If you're looking for CRACKED-level parody, without the Severin art, as you build up to Avengers, then this might be the comics for you! Me, I thought they were both EH (with Thor being marginally better, mostly due to Michael Netzer's art)

Yeah, so that's me; as always, what did YOU think?

-B