Want something (mostly) free?

I've done a new run of Comix Experience shirts, and I'm willing to send you one. Send a self-adressed priority mail envelope from the US Postal Service, properly affixed with postage (they sell stamps for the $3.85 price), and your shirt size to Comix Experience, 305 Divisadero St., San Francisco, CA, 94117, and I'll see what I can do.

I've not consulted any lawyers on this, hoping we can depend on people being rational and understnading this is a "being generous" thing, not a "contractual obligation" thing, and you can assume things like "no purchase neccessary" and "limit one per household" and "not responsible for lost or misdelivered packages" and "I can't guarantee that I won't run out of the size shirt you want" and whatever else that probably needs to be said, but I'm not saying because I'm not a goddamn lawyer! So, be rational, yes?

-B

Some of the news that's fit to link.

DC OWNS THE COMIC NEWS. Well, maybe not completely, but this past week, they've taken the lead in terms of market share both in dollar and unit categories for October "floppy" sales, mostly due to Infinite Crisis #1 bringing in almost one million dollars all by itself (Although All-Star Batman and Robin the Boy Wonder outsold it in terms of actual number of copies sold). News of what the company does next started leaking out from their RRP in Canada last week, including the cancellation of Flash, Wonder Woman and Gotham Central, the repositioning of some titles (Hawkman becomes Hawkgirl, with Walt Simonson writing and Howard Chaykin drawing, for example), and Sandman being reissued in new editions again, so it doesn't look like DC are resting on their laurels anytime soon, either.

In comparison, Marvel announced that the Hulk will do a rehash of that whole "Superman goes into space and gets stuck in an intergalactic gladiator arena" plot from twenty years ago. Okay, that's not entirely fair - someone must have done that plot before Jerry Ordway, Roger Stern and someone else that was probably Dan Jurgens, right? - but the House of Idea has mostly spent the week relatively quiet in the wake of bad Q3 results and stock falling, although Birthday Girl Heidi MacDonald is paying attention to what stock watchers the Motley Fool are saying about the company.

Getting away from the mainstream for a second, FirstSecond's Mark Siegel (who was in the Bay Area this weekend, with Matt Madden and Jessica Abel and I missed all of them. Dammit) reveals secrets of corporate publishing and Fantagraphics' Gregory Zura considers what advances in search technology mean for comics. For fans of the Manga, Seven Seas have changed their contract terms to allow for creator ownership as a result of the uproar over Tokyopop's less pleasant contracts. But, as the kids say, fuck that noise. Because none of that is nearly as exciting as the news that 50 Cent's Getting Rich or Dying Trying plans include publishing graphic novels. Yes, dear reader - that does mean that he's obviously leaning more towards the "die trying" part of the equation right now.

And now you know what's happening on this, my jaunty world o' comics, today.

Settlement entered and served!

The Hibbs v Marvel settlement was entered into court yesterday, August 23rd, and has been served to Marvel as of today 8/24. A 30 day appeals window has now opened, where any members of the class who haven't opted-out may appeal the settlement.

Presuming no one does that, Marvel has 30 days, beginning Friday September 23rd, to pay the settlement monies. Therefore, unless something strange and odd happens, all credit should be paid no later than Monday, October 24th. Marvel, of course, may choose to begin payments on "day #1" rather than "day #30".

At a completely wild-ass, wholly uniformed guess that's based upon nothing whatsoever, timing of the payment might depend on whether Marvel wants the liability on thier books in the end of the 3rd quarter or the beginning of the 4th quarter.

Either way, unless a member of the class appeals, credit should be issued between 9/23 and 10/24.

-B

FUCK YEAH! (aka: FINALLY!)

Sorry to interrupt Jeff's "Please buy my shit so Edi doesn't eat my liver!" posts, but some good news here. As I mentioned already, the former Judge of the Marvel Class Action suit went bug-fuck insane and recused himself after the Appeal (Appellate? The law confuses me!) court told him he had to approve the Settlement

Well, we got a NEW Judge, Judge Khan (And dig, I get this image in my head of Bill Jemas shaking his fist at the sky, screaming, "KHHHHHHHAAAAANNNNNN!!!!") (I'm doing the obvious joke, so you don't have to)

Annnnnyway, Judge Khan signed off on the Settlement on Tuesday, 8/9, so we're basically a "done deal"

Apparently, the Settlement needs to be "entered" in the court (or something like that) -- basically, just the paperwork being routed where ever it needs to be in The System.

"How long will that take?" I asked. "Not sure" came the response -- apparently it usually just takes a couple of days, but could be 4-6 weeks if the wrong person is on vacation or something. I was told to expect "about a week"

Once the Settlement has been "entered", then it needs to be "Served" to Marvel, but my lawyers indicate that they believe that will be 24 hours from being entered, maybe within an hour or two (it is a short cab ride between legal offices!)

Once those two things are done there will be a 30 day period where the Settlement can be contested (by whom or what, I'm not sure, since both Marvel AND the Class have agreed on the Settlement). Once THAT period is finished, then Marvel has up to 30 days to pay the Class members. With any luck, they won't take the whole 30, but they do have the option.

So, if we were to pretend that the Settlement will be "entered" tomorrow, 8/12, and served on Monday, 8/15, then the 30 days to contest the Settlement would end on 9/15, and Marvel would have to make all payments in full by.... well, 10/15 is a Saturday, so Monday, 10/17. And, I suspect that "making payment" means "telling Diamond", and Diamond runs invoices on the weekend, so if they told Diamond on 10/17, the credits wouldn't show up until 10/26 invoicing. Marvel could make it before, if they so choose, of course, and I hope they release the credits on day #1 (9/16, in this example), instead of day #30.

I doubt that will happen, though :)

So that's what would happen if the Settlement were to be "entered" tomorrow -- the dates roll forward to when it ends up being "entered". Still, I feel pretty darn confident in saying that this will be 100% done with by Thanksgiving, at the outside, and it's possible it will be done before Halloween.

Hooray an' shit!

-B

Some reviews and rants of 7/7 books

So, you all know about the Class Action suit against Marvel, right? And how we have a settlement that both parties agreed to? Well, or we did until the dumb-ass Judge in the case decided that, despite have both sides agreeing, despite having notified the Class, and having a opt-out rate of something like 0.5%, despite, might I add, adjusting the plan to deal with the Judge’s specific demands, Judge Ramos decided that he wanted the whole process started over again from scratch, turning the “opt out” (which automagically includes everyone) to “opt in” (which would likely mean some people would misunderstand and not be included). Clearly, the man went insane. So, as I’m sure you also know, we appealed the Judge, and the Appellate Court overturned his crazy ass, and ordered him to sign the settlement within 30 days. Hurray, Justice!

But guess what happened? I got the call today that Judge Ramos has recused himself from the case, and so won’t be signing. Um, doubleyou-tea-eff?!?!?

Crazy, unethical, asshat of a Judge.

Apparently this will only mean a “short” delay as we get a new Judge assigned, and, supposedly, it is all formalities from here on out – 2-3 days to a new Judge, a week or so for him to read everything and sign it, then 30 days until we all receive our rightful settlement monies, but, man, can you fucking believe that shit?

* * *

Lessee, it’s 12:30, and the books should be here within 90 minutes, so let’s see what reviews we can do by then, while I’m helping customers in the middle.

NOT going to San Diego, btw – I hadn’t had a lick of FUN at the con the last2-3 I attended, and I’d rather not be away from Ben in order to do Comics Death March on the 4 football fields worth of “pop culture”

Fuck that Hollywood shit, y’know?

Anyway, comics. I’m going to skip Alphabetical, and just type things out as I feel like:

HOUSE OF M #3: I almost feel sorry for Bendis and the Marvel Marketing department, because, really, how could ANYthing stand up to “crack the internet in half”. But only a little sorry.

Here’s the thing: regardless of what the story turns out how, what’s been PUBLISHED so far is “just” a WHAT IF…? story. There’s nothing between the covers that suggests any permanence or meaning. Look, this is a storyline that shows Uncle Ben (poster child for “dead is dead”) *and* Gwen Stacey happily alive and kicking, so what’s the big deal with Hawkeye, at all? Not much, really.

In fact, I’ll go so far to say even LESS is compelling about this because it makes Clint’s death, the capping denouement to the “Disassembled” storyline, a death that was cheap and stupid and awkward to begin with, have even less meaning. Clearly, Bendis (& co.) *must* have known this was coming, in that timeframe, which reduces it to even more of a sensationalistic stunt without any base value.

“Don’t cheat the audience” is the Prime Rule in storytelling, and Hawkeye is a big-ass cheat from top to bottom.

As Lester observed in the store (and most likely in his reviews a few inches down), this issue could have been a sensational first issue – there’s a mystery, there’s action, there’s natural conflict. But because it was preceded by 2 issues of soft plushy padded padding, and because of the apparent WHAT IF…? nature of this story, the audience is mellllllting away.

We ordered 150 of issue #1. Sold 100. 66% sell through means I lost money.

We ordered 125 copies of #2. Sold 84 copies so far. Slightly better at 67%, but still a solid money loser.

We ordered 100 copies of #3, and our first week sales are only 63 copies. With any luck I’ll get to 85 sold by week #4, though I’m not much holding my breath, but at least that would edge that issue up closer to profitability.

Since #3 didn’t have any cracking in it, I suspect #4 will drop to 75 copies or lower, a massive failure for THE big “Summer tentpole event”. I’m going to be chasing those numbers down down dowwwwwn, and hopefully when the dust settles, I won’t have lost my shirt too badly.

In last week’s BOOK OF THE WEEK, Don Rosa’s LIFE AND TIMES OF SCROOGE McDUCK, there are several text pieces when Rosa describes his editor THROWING OUT at least 2 fully laid out and written segments of the book, because they weren’t strong enough.

Would that Marvel editors had the personal will and responsibility to the characters they caretake, and the customers who trust them, to do the same.

Seriously, what do American comics editors DO? Traffic Manage? Is that it?

Mm, and “first appearance of Layla Miller” or whatever? Who? What? Maybe that chick who was getting mugged in the alley? Maybe? Hardly an auspicious debut to a “major new character”, really.

Bottom line: The art was spiff, the writing was strong enough, and, on it’s own merits, this was prolly a low “Good” or a high “OK”, but as 3/7ths of a major event, with promised major ramifications, this was AWFUL.

IRON MAN: HOUSE OF M #1: was pretty EH, but does anyone actually like Pat Lee’s art, or is he coasting on once being “hot” because the TRANSFORMER license was hot once? I don’t know, but I can’t stand his art.

FANTASTIC FOUR HOUSE OF M #1: Doesn’t actually have the FF in it, so there’s a big strike against it. Meh, I can’t see anything coming out of this branch of the story at all, so AWFUL.

HULK #83: I swear this is why PAD stopped working at Marvel in the first place? That’s how I recall it, anyway. And, is it just me, or did this blow the plot of the Scorpion in AMAZING FANTASY? And was that “Machine Teen” in there as well? Meh to dictated crossovers. I liked the thoughts behind the aboriginal plot bits though, so I can go with OK.

UNCANNY X-MEN #462: Made less sense than something senseless indeed, but damn if this wasn’t pretty as all fuck, and, possibly, my favorite art job of Alan Davis of any of his UNCANNY run. So for that, and only that, since this was incomprehensible nonsense, I’ll go with OK.

SUPERMAN #219: Speaking of incomprehensible nonsense… If that had anything to do with OMAC, it was pretty impossible to tell from these 22 pages (Besides, wasn’t he at his desk? Or supposed to be in space looking for the satellites? What happened to that?), 22 pages of “let’s act out of character, and pretend that no one notices”. I’m also getting super-fucking-sick of this “Superman as badass” shit – Superman DOESN’T KILL, period, so any story predicated on “He does, this time” is pure CRAP.

DC SPECIAL RETURN OF DONNA TROY #2: Uh, what? I have no idea what’s going on, or how she “returned” or why I should give a rat’s ass.

Huh, and here come the comics, that’s all I have time for this week. See you in 7 or under with more…

What did YOU think?

Want to see BATMAN BEGINS for free?

We duly handled our first batch of tickets for Tuesday's showing as the promotions compnay asked us to... but today we got in multiple envelopes of tickets for a showing on MONDAY JUNE 13th at 7:30 PM (at the Metreon), and we have no instructions on these. Therefore, I exercise executive privilege, and will give first crack to those of you reading this website.

Here's what you have to do: come into the store while *I* am working (Friday 2-7, Saturday 2-4 or thereabouts) and ask *me* for one. DO NOT ask Rob or Jeff about them, that will get you automagically disqualified.

Now I will probably ask you a question or two to prove you actually READ this blog, and you aren't just some guy, but other than that, that's that -- no purchase necessary and all of that jazz.

I've got maybe 10 passes left, and they're (unlikely most passes) "admit ONE" -- I will strictly only be giving out 1 per person, so factor that in your calculations.

Hopefully we'll see you tomorrow or Saturday, and we can talk funny books!

-B

"Why are you always so negative?"

Got a comment in the Talk Back of last week’s reviews that I thought might be bigger consideration than just responding there were no one would see it. A “Brian” (no last name) wrote: "Whew! Thanks for telling me what stinks, guys! Now I know I don't need to come into your shop and spend any money!”

Which, while fabulous in its snarkiness, actually does bring up something I get a lot: “Why are you so negative all of the time?”

So, let’s go over some of the reasons you’ll find negative reviews here.

First, and foremost, I usually hear it from people who say some variant of “You’re a retailer, your job is to sell.” But, here’s the thing: I don’t see my job as being that specifically limited – my job is to sell, sure, but I see that over the long run, not the short run.

It is like with Variant Covers: some retailers adore the things because “It is like getting a free $100 bill!” Which, of course, it is. But I believe that in the long run taking that $100 can cost you THOUSANDS of dollars in sales as we drive people away from the entire hobby.

In exactly the same way, my job isn’t “just to sell” – it’s to sell QUALITY MATERIAL. If I can discourage someone from buying a shitty-ass comic, then it is at least marginally more likely they’ll buy something good; something that puts the burning need to buy MORE comics within their heart.

What you have to understand is that there’s a fine line here that I constantly try to be smart about. What you see in cold hard type isn’t the same thing you’d necessarily hear on the sales floor – I try very hard to remain positive in the store because a customer there may or may not be interested in my opinion. However, if you’re here, on this website, you CLEARLY WANT my opinion.

On the sales floor, I won’t offer my opinion UNLESS it is solicited, and even then, I tend to try and remain neutral in my phrasing (“It isn’t really my kind of book,” that sort of thing)

There seems to be a supposition that what is said here has direct influence upon the sales floor. After 16 years of selling comics for a living, and more than a decade of internet reviewing, I think I can laugh pretty hard at any connection.

Some of the worst reviewed comics here are the tip-toppest sellers in the store. Look at something like Bendis’ AVENGERS: I absolutely think it is pure crap on a stick, but it has steadily been our #1, 2, or 3 Marvel seller each and every month it has been released.

Understand: most (60-90%) periodical comics are sold by the end of the first weekend. It is incredibly rare that Jeff or I get reviews up in time to influence periodical buying.

Further, every effort I’ve ever made to study it shows that negative reviews simply do not impact even upon our long-term sales of periodical comics. People buy what they want, and reviews have only the most minor of impacts upon those choices.

Ultimately, post-Wednesday reviews have almost no impact upon initial sales – at best, they can be addative to the NEXT time you go into a store. But if you’ve already decided to not buy NEW AVENGERS, I’m not going to make you buy it less.

Another key factor for me, at least, is that negative reviews illuminate the interests of the reviewer AT LEAST as much as positive reviews. If you like all of the books that I hate, then you’re going to approach my positive reviews differently than you would otherwise.

Personally, I HATE reviewers that only give positive reviews – this seems intellectually dishonest to me, and “You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar” is really only helpful if you’re trying to catch flies.

What I think is that by being HONEST about my opinions, even if it COULD cost me a sale, means that you’re going to value my recommendations all that more. You know I’m not trying to sell you a bill of goods, or whatever happens to be “hot” or whatever.

Further, judging from my email (though seldom the “Talk Backs”), comics professionals generally “appreciate” a negative review more than positive ones. Quite often I’ll get the “Yeah, it’s flawed, and here’s the behind-the-scenes bit you didn’t know”. Joe Casey, not withstanding. Kurt, Sean, Ed, Warren, etc. all of you read my reviews on a semi-regular basis, maybe you could post in the Talk Back if there’s any value to you in here?

Now, if the criticism is that we (well, mostly I) don’t do a good enough job OF explaining WHY I don’t like something, that one is probably valid. I like to think I bat at least .400 though.

Finally, and the point that really trumps any other one: Jeff and I post largely for ourselves. We make no money from this website. There are no banner ads, this is not a profit-making affair (quite the opposite, in fact). I post on MY time (barring the weird odd occasion like this one where I use the AlphaSmart from the counter), time away from playing video games or hanging out with the family or whatever. We don’t get paid for this, barring an incredibly rare PayPal donation or something, so what I’m hoping for is that I’ll make someone (usually Jeff) laugh.

That’s much easier to do in a negative review than a positive one. When was the last time you laughed when I said for the 86th time “USAGI YOJIMBO is an excellent comic that everyone should be buying”? Yeah, exactly.

This is the internet; people LIKE rants. We get thousands of hits, and are usually featured at or near the top of many “blog rolls” every week because of that. It seems to me we must be doing SOMEthing right.

I’m certainly willing to have a rational conversation about the pros and the cons of the approach we take here – please feel free to use the Talk Back to tell me I’m right or wrong, and I listen to all of it. Though I listen far more to people who sign their full name to their opinions…

What do you think?

-B

EDIT after I wrote that: there's a message that follows "Brian"'s, from "Rob L'Heureux" which I thought should also be put on the front page. Here's the whole thing:

" I usually agree with your reviews and pick up your recommendations that I haven't read and sometimes drop titles if I agree with your criticism. But occasionally I think you just miss the mark, the latest two examples being the ASTONISHING X-MEN and FABLES. The art on both titles is exceptional, well above the current standard and using the medium to advantage ( especially FABLES ), and I always enjoy the storytelling. A book like ASTONISHING, where everything seems to have been done with the characters and the writer has to handle these ‘moneymakers’ so gingerly, I mean, this is a monthly serial but the writer still finds fresh material and presents it in an entertaining fashion.

These books haven’t changed my life but I really think a serious critic ( and retailer ) would encourage this level of work. Readers should be encouraged to support these titles, creators should be encouraged to strive for this level of storytelling ( or better ), and publishers should be encouraged to promote and produce more in kind. All of which would help the comic industry.

Sometimes you seem to hold some titles / creators to a higher standard and I hate you. "

I'm curious as to what other people think, though I will note that I gave ASTONISHING an "OK" and FABLES a "GOOD" (!) Am I TOO harsh?

-B

He Probably Would Have Done This Sooner or Later...

Considering the crap I gave him last month about it, but since I'm awake and am putting off getting ready for the store, let me just link to Hibbs' latest Tilting at Windmills, which is a pretty damn good read about the stocking issues caused by the continuing expansion of the trade paperback market. May not seem scintillating at first glance, but a damn good read, I assure you.

Why did 2000AD/Humanoids fail?

I just realized I haven't tackled the "retail intelligence" aspect of this blog in an awfully long time, so.... There's a few obvious things, like (esp with Humanoids) merely reprinting the same material that a lot of us still had on our shelfs, except the originals were larger and in hardcover, or the real lack of promotion and publicity; and the failure of the line, I suspect, comes from not being able to properly crack the bookstore market (Go use your eyes: the racking of "western" comics material sure seems to have SHRUNK in the last few years in bookstores)

But I can tell you, real easily why these books didn't do as well as they should have: TOO MANY OF THEM in TOO SHORT OF A TIME FRAME.

If I were you, I'd be reading this as the first step in a market correction for perennial items -- there simply isn't the budgets and rack space for the amount of "permanent stock" items the publishers have been trying to plow through the system for the last year or two.

Hm, I guess I just figured out what I'm going to write for Friday's TILTING, so let me drop a few ellipses, and trail off until then....

-B

Sweet 16 reviews of 3/30 comics

First off, today marks 16 years of Comix Experience. Hooray! My baby is ready for her prom! Joy! It almost was a disaster though, as at some point on Wednesday night a car pulled a hit and run on another car parked in front of the store, pushing it up on the sidewalk, and wrapping it around the parking meter in front. If the meter hadn't been there, the hit car would probably have gone through the store's front window. If the car is still there today, I'll try to take some pictures and get them posted. What was funny is that all day yesterday people were stopping and taking pix of the car with their friends standing next to it. Kinda the ultimate rubber-necking experience.

Ben and Tzipora are off on a "play date" so I have a rare (VERY RARE) morning to myself, and I have about 2 hours to write up the CRITIC before I have to go off to the eye doctor and see if they can fix the pairs of glasses that Ben has ruined so far. I love that boy, though.

I should be at the store around 1 or so, and we'll probably be drinking some beer and stuff, so if you're in the area, pop by and join the low key and wholly unofficial 16-year celebration.

Anyway, hows about some reviews? I've managed to read everything, though I'm not going to even attempt to do a "full" week of reviews -- going to try to keep it around 20 books this week.

(I shouldn't have to do this, but, yes, there are some spoilers below, you're duly warned!)

ASTONISHING X-MEN #9: You have to imagine that Whedon is having a blast -- coming up with stuff that, if he was doing a movie or a TV show would be impossible unless, y'know, he only wanted to do one episode a year or something. There's a few great lines here, as always, but I think the central idea of "The danger room is sentient and will reform itself into a giant robot to kill us all" is... well, it's pretty dumb. If it wasn't for the suicidal mutant kid this would have probably just been a big waste of time, but there's enough of a solid emotional through-line there that it works better than it should have. Still, this was the first issue of the run where I was kinda... well, bored I guess, and I'll go with a medium strength GOOD.

BATGIRL #62: I really don't get how this has lasted for SIXTY-TWO issues, man. Over five years of an emotionally stunted protagonist who really does nothing other than hit people well. Her character is about as deep as a piece of paper. *shrug* There were OK scenes here and there (I thought the near-death sequence worked OK), but even if this book was firing on every cylindar both real and imaginary, I can;t really ever picture this book being much better than a strong OK.

BATMAN #638: I really really want to roll my eyes at this. Bringing Jason back seems like such a hack idea to me, and I can't imagine that it would have even occured to anyone had Jeph Loeb not done it 2 years ago. I wildly disagree with Judd's interview earlier in the week on Newsarama (the oddly named link can be found as http://www.newsarama.com/DC/Countdown_more/Batman_Hello.htm -- doesn't that sound like a badly translated Japanese comic? "In the next issue of 'Batman Hello!' Bruce must face a champion Mah-Jong player!") where he posits that the "how" is less important than the effects. The problem is, I think, in comics the HOW is what allows the WHAT to have emotional resonance or not. It's hard to think of a scenario where the HOW doesn't becoming comic-book-stupid, cutting out the legs of any emotional impact (say, if he is a from a parallel universe or some shit). Even IF the HOW is the best idea evah, though, bringing Jason back... well it's emotionally cheap and easy, to this reader. It worked OK in "Hush" because it was a red herring and a feint, but as the real thing? Meh. If I have one real problem though, it's how deeply insular this is as a self-contained story-unit. That last page reveal really only works if you know your Bat-Backstory. There's nothing within the comic that sets this up, or gives a clue to why the last page is significant at all. Sure, if you've been reading Batman for 20 years then you "get it", but if this was someone's first Batman comic? "Who is the guy in the red mask, there?" I will add points, however, for the word-baloon-driven cover. That looks like Wagner's lettering to me, as well. I'll go with a solid OK, I guess, but future revalations could drive that up or drag that way way down.

BPRD THE DEAD #5: Good ending to the arc, feeling like a solid Hellboy-style story, and giving a few threads to play with for the future. I liked it: GOOD.

CONCRETE HUMAN DILEMMA #4: Meanwhile I really WANT to like this, but the actual HUMAN dilemma of the book feels so rote and staged and emotionally flat, it is very hard to care. We do get to the ironic twist of the story (which I saw coming very early in this issue), which could be clever, but, as always, "there's a fine line between clever and stupid". I'll go with a mild OK, which is disappointing because I doubt I'd've ever given any other CONCRETE tale less than a "Very Good".

DC COUNTDOWN TO INFINITE CRISIS #1: Yes, this is the one you really tuned in to see how I'd rag on this week. I know that. Well, sir, lady, I might just refer you to one of my "Identity Crisis" "reviews" because my stance is pretty much the same -- it is frustrating to me when steps are taken to darken the universe like this, when big events are built UPON corpses and tragedy and horror. It frustrates me when characters act out-of-character and like total asshats because that's what the blueprint demands. In gaming, you call this "plot hammering", and the plot is hammered all over the place in the DCU these days.

Let me ask a serious question: is the story improved by a futile death, and an absence of heroism? Could the story have worked JUST AS WELL if BB had had a lucky last minute escape at the end? Perhaps, even an "Uh oh, IS he dead?!?!" moment, rather than a blantant and no-questions corpse on the floor? See, I think not only would the story have worked just the same, it could have given a possibility that BB could be a starring character again, rather than a sad second string joke. And that, perhaps, is the great failure of the current guardians of the DCU -- enormous effort is being made to bring depth to the also-rans, but the results of that effort is basically to make those characters useless to anyone. This seems like a hugely missed opportunity to me.

Supergirl and Barry Allen died during CRISIS, yes, but they died as HEROES. BB just dies as a sad man way over his head, adding no significance, and wallowing in shock value. SHOCK IS NOT SIGNIFICANCE. What's weird is that at least one of the three primary writers of this KNOWS this -- how much of Geoff Johns' career has been spent in trying to unravel the mistakes of past adminstrations? Killing Superman, breaking Batman's back, Maiming Arther, or driving Hal insane or god the stupidity of what they did to the Hawks... none of those yeilded better stories (Well, OK, the follow ups to the Superman stuff was some of the best modern Super-comics ever, so that's one) -- quite the opposite, in fact. And DC *knows* this: shitting on your characters doesn't yeild dramatic options. In fact, it really reduces them because you've got to spend all of your effort dealing with the plot hammer stuff to the detriment of good STORIES.

Further, I just get queasy when the plot HINGES on continuity minutia (like BG's companion Skeets -- has Skeets appeared anywhere in anything in a comic published in the last 10 years? Longer? I don't think Skeets has appeared since the end of BG's series, has he? That was 1988, according to the Grand COmics Database at www.comics.org -- or 17 years ago!), yet it happily ignores OTHER continuity minutia like how Max Lord has has his mind read by the Martian Manhunter in the past, because that would undermine the plot-hammer.

The idea that Max Lord is behind this all, to me, is just about the worst idea I've ever heard. It is utterly inconsistant with past actions, and just doesn't parse in any rational way. Just about the only way this could have been worse is if it was revelaed that Ma Hunkle was the grand mastermind -- that makes about as much sense, y'know? I almost think someone should go kill Keith Giffen to see if he'll roll over in the grave.

(NOTE: DON'T DO THAT! That was a joke!)

So: ugly, illogical, plot-hammered and filled with asshats. But... at least it is only a buck! The architects say they have a plan, say this is all going somewhere and we'll be happy with the results, but I'm an inch away from just giving up on the U part of the DCU forever because it's really not a place I want to visit any longer. I'd much rather read Morrison's SEVEN SOLDIERS, y'know, where he's trying to reinject FUN rather than misery. All in all: AWFUL

(FOr a good laugh, go read Abhay Khosla's review at http://www.comicscommunity.com/boards/pop/?read=28386)

DOOM PATROL #10: That's kinda a Doom Patrol-worthy origin for those two characters, actually, and I've gone from absolutely detesting them to not TOTALLY abhoring them. Still, this is one meandering directionless book, isn't it? OK

FLASH #220: Lots of threads have been building to this for several years, but now that we're actually IN the "Rogue's War" I find I care a little less. However, this could be because this was the second comic I read this week, after COUNTDOWN. Assume it's just depressive fallout from that, then, because I say OK.

GOON DH ED #11: I loved this issue -- mean, but funny, odd and strange and filled with comic-book weirdness, and oh so very pretty. EXCELLENT.

I'm speeding up from here because I'm down to 20 minutes left to get through the rest of the books.

GRIMJACK KILLER INSTINCT #3: Liked this issue a lot, too. Great action, good dynics, smart ideas: VERY GOOD.

LEGION OF SUPER HEROES #4: Another solid issue, with a good balance of backstory and moving things forward. VERY GOOD.

MARVEL KNIGHTS SPIDER-MAN #12: Thank god for plot-convenient lightning bolts, is all I can say. The plot-hammered MJ's gun finally comes in to play, for no valuable use of any kind. All problems are abruptly solved by the last page, making you wonder why some of it (like the financials) were ever brought into play. This has been a big waste, sorry. EH.

OR ELSE #2: Mostly mentioned so Graeme knows he should pop by. Second issue out, with some great formalistic storytelling attempts. I like Kevin's clean style (especially his lettering -- that's a dying art), but I was underwhelmed by the teeny tiny little package (especailly when not solicited as such), and I think it makes the $6 price tag verging on the steep side. Still, that aside: GOOD.

OTHERWORLD #1: Lots of setup. Lots and lots of it. So much so that it's really hard to judge the issue. The characters seem reasoanbly rich and rounded, and the events are, while a bit cliched, handled well enough, and the art, OF COURSE, is terrific -- but I'm going to need another issue, I think, to see if I LIKE it or not. This issue was just OK.

OUTSIDERS #22: Liked it all around, though the "One of us is a traitor!" is so overused that Judd needs to tread carefully. I got a good laugh out of the next issue box, though it's an obvious joke. GOOD.

PULSE #8: Thought this was terrific, just terrific writing, though plot-wise with SECRET WAR, I am not sure if this title hasn't strayed too far from it's stated point. Don;t care for now, though, I loved the dialogue so much, VERY GOOD.

SECRET WAR BOOK FOUR: This, meanwhile, I was just stunned by. Meandering and pointless and just a big excuse for a fight scene, and it's not much of a "Secret" war, is it? Show, not tell, man -- I guess we'll see in four months and the last issue if this had a point of any kind. EH.

SPECTACULAR SPIDER-MAN #26: Takes at least one twist that I wouldn't have given the writers credit for, so that's good. Still, just one long EH.

ULTIMATE SECRET #1: A much stronger start, I think, than NIGHTMARE's first issue. I liked this all around, dialogue, art, so VERY GOOD.

USAGI YOJIMBO #82: ANother great issue, isn't it criminal this doesn't sell 50k an issue? VERY GOOD.

PICK OF THE WEEK goes to GOON #11, I'm sure you can guess my PICK OF THE WEAK....

The BOOK / TP OF THE WEEK is a toss-up between BATMAN CHRONICLES VOL 1 TP and PLANETARY VOL 3 LEAVING THE 20TH CENTURY TP. Either are great.

OK, now I'm late, gotta run, what did you think?

-B

March's order sorted by dollars

As always, I think the more telling chart -- the orders sorted by dollars. All the same caveats of the previous chart. That shakes things up a bit, huh? Thoughts, opinions, rantings? Love to hear it!

1 TOP TEN THE FORTY NINERS HC 2 GREEN LANTERN #1 3 ASTONISHING X-MEN #11 4 WORLDS GREATEST SUPER HEROES OVERSIZED SLIPCASE HC 5 ULTIMATES 2 #6 6 PLANETARY #23 7 WRATH OF THE SPECTRE TP 8 SUPERMAN BATMAN #21 9 SEVEN SOLIDERS SHINING KNIGHT #2 10 SEVEN SOLDIERS GUARDIAN #2 11 DESOLATION JONES #1 12 SUPERMAN INFINITE CITY HC 13 GIANT SIZE X-MEN #3 14 SAMURAI EXECUTIONER VOL 6 TP #6 15 VILLIANS UNITED #1 16 NEW AVENGERS #7 17 OMAC PROJECT #2 18 POWERS #11 19 JUSTICE LEAGUE ALEX ROSS SER 2 MASTER CASE ASST 20 DAREDEVIL #73 21 LEGION OF SUPER HEROES #6 22 HELLBLAZER RED SEPULCHRE TP 23 TEEN TITANS #24 24 EMBROIDERIES GN 25 EX MACHINA #11 26 Y THE LAST MAN #33 27 FABLES #37 28 PULSE #9 29 YOUNG AVENGERS #4 30 ACTION COMICS #827 31 DAY OF VENGEANCE #2 32 WIZARD COMICS MAGAZINE ASTONISHING X-MEN CVR #164 33 STRAY BULLETS #39 34 GOTHAM CENTRAL HALF A LIFE TP 35 ESSENTIAL DEFENDERS VOL 1 TP 36 ESSENTIAL THOR VOL 2 TP 37 UNCANNY X-MEN #459 38 ULTIMATE FANTASTIC FOUR #19 39 OUTSIDERS #24 40 JSA #73 41 STRANGE #6 42 DOC FRANKENSTEIN #4 43 JLA CLASSIFIED #7 44 CONAN #16 45 JLA #114 46 X-MEN #170 47 RANN THANAGAR WAR #1 48 SUPERMAN ACTION COMICS ARCHIVES VOL 4 HC 49 GIANT SIZE MARVEL TP 50 BOLLAND STRIPS TP 51 TEEN TITANS BEAST BOYS AND GIRLS TP 52 TEZUKAS BUDDHA VOL 6 ANANDA HC 53 FRENCH KISS #13 54 MARVEL KNIGHTS SPIDER-MAN #14 55 GOON DH ED #12 56 COMPLETE CRUMB COMICS VOL 17 SC 57 ULTIMATE X-MEN #59 58 HELLBLAZER #208 59 POWERS VOL 1 HC 60 WALT & SKEEZIX VOL 1 TP #1 61 BATMAN VILLIANS SECRET FILES 2005 62 CONAN & THE JEWELS OF GWAHLUR #2 63 OTHERWORLD #3 64 FANTASTIC FOUR #527 65 BLACK PANTHER #4 66 EXCALIBUR #13 67 EXCALIBUR #14 68 LUCIFER #62 69 CONCRETE HUMAN DILEMMA #6 70 FLASH #222 71 THE PUNISHER #21 72 WOLVERINE #28 73 AVENGERS KANG TIME AND TIME AGAIN TP 74 GRIMJACK KILLER INSTINCT #5 75 BATMAN #640 76 X-MEN THE END HEROES AND MARTYRS #3 77 SUPERMAN #217 78 JLA ACTION FIGURE GIFT SET 79 PUNISHER CELL ONE SHOT 80 BIT OF MADNESS TP 81 BATMAN DARK DETECTIVE #1 82 BATMAN DARK DETECTIVE #2 83 LEX LUTHOR MAN OF STEEL #3 84 AUTHORITY REVOLUTION #8 85 CITY OF TOMORROW #2 86 100 BULLETS #61 87 DETECTIVE COMICS #806 88 CAPTAIN AMERICA #7 89 SHANNA THE SHE DEVIL #4 90 MEGAMANGA VOL 22 SEX WARRIOR ISANE TP #22 91 INCREDIBLE HULK #81 92 ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN #77 93 WONDER WOMAN #216 94 WONDER WOMAN #217 95 USAGI YOJIMBO #84 96 JOHN CONSTANTINE HELLBLAZER SPECIAL PAPA MIDNITE #4 97 TRUE STORY SWEAR TO GOD VOL 2 THIS ONE GOES TO 11 TP #2 98 WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS GN 99 BATMAN JAM PACKED ACTION 100 GOLDEN PLATES #3

March's order sorted by pieces

This is Comix Experience's March '05 order (for May '05 shipping... we hope!), sorted by pieces (how many I ordered) This may or may not actually represent my Top 100 in May by what actually arrives that month. That's the fun part. Plus, orders can be lowered on Marvels, and raised on everything else, so call this the roadmap.

I'm very interested in any comments anyone might have!

1 ASTONISHING X-MEN #11 2 GREEN LANTERN #1 3 ULTIMATES 2 #6 4 PLANETARY #23 5 NEW AVENGERS #7 6 SUPERMAN BATMAN #21 7 SEVEN SOLIDERS SHINING KNIGHT #2 8 SEVEN SOLDIERS GUARDIAN #2 9 VILLIANS UNITED #1 10 DESOLATION JONES #1 11 OMAC PROJECT #2 12 TEEN TITANS #24 13 POWERS #11 14 UNCANNY X-MEN #459 15 ACTION COMICS #827 16 DAY OF VENGEANCE #2 17 ULTIMATE FANTASTIC FOUR #19 18 DAREDEVIL #73 19 LEGION OF SUPER HEROES #6 20 JLA #114 21 OUTSIDERS #24 22 EX MACHINA #11 23 Y THE LAST MAN #33 24 X-MEN #170 25 FABLES #37 26 JSA #73 27 PULSE #9 28 YOUNG AVENGERS #4 29 ULTIMATE X-MEN #59 30 RANN THANAGAR WAR #1 31 GIANT SIZE X-MEN #3 32 FLASH #222 33 WOLVERINE #28 34 BATMAN #640 35 JLA CLASSIFIED #7 36 TOP TEN THE FORTY NINERS HC 37 LUCIFER #62 38 STRAY BULLETS #39 39 CONAN #16 40 HELLBLAZER #208 41 MARVEL KNIGHTS SPIDER-MAN #14 42 GOON DH ED #12 43 CONAN & THE JEWELS OF GWAHLUR #2 44 SUPERMAN #217 45 OTHERWORLD #3 46 FANTASTIC FOUR #527 47 ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN #77 48 BLACK PANTHER #4 49 STRANGE #6 50 EXCALIBUR #13 51 EXCALIBUR #14 52 DOC FRANKENSTEIN #4 53 100 BULLETS #61 54 THE PUNISHER #21 55 WONDER WOMAN #216 56 WONDER WOMAN #217 57 X-MEN THE END HEROES AND MARTYRS #3 58 CONCRETE HUMAN DILEMMA #6 59 BATMAN DARK DETECTIVE #1 60 BATMAN DARK DETECTIVE #2 61 LEX LUTHOR MAN OF STEEL #3 62 AUTHORITY REVOLUTION #8 63 CITY OF TOMORROW #2 64 BOOKS OF MAGICK LIFE DURING WARTIME #11 65 WIZARD COMICS MAGAZINE ASTONISHING X-MEN CVR #164 66 DETECTIVE COMICS #806 67 GOTHAM CENTRAL #31 68 BIRDS OF PREY #82 69 AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #520 70 CAPTAIN AMERICA #7 71 INCREDIBLE HULK #81 72 USAGI YOJIMBO #84 73 JOHN CONSTANTINE HELLBLAZER SPECIAL PAPA MIDNITE #4 74 BILLY THE KIDS OLD TIME ODDITIES #2 75 SAMURAI EXECUTIONER VOL 6 TP #6 76 BLOOD OF THE DEMON #3 77 SLEEPER SEASON TWO #12 78 MNEMOVORE #2 79 GIRLS #1 80 SHANNA THE SHE DEVIL #4 81 X-23 #6 82 GRIMJACK KILLER INSTINCT #5 83 NEW X-MEN #13 84 NEW X-MEN #14 85 BATMAN VILLIANS SECRET FILES 2005 86 GREEN ARROW #50 87 JUSTICE LEAGUE ELITE #11 88 WALKING DEAD #20 89 HUNTER KILLER #3 90 GLA #2 91 RUNAWAYS #4 92 PREVIEWS VOL XV #5 93 ADVENTURES OF SUPERMAN #640 94 PLASTIC MAN #16 95 EXILES #64 96 CATWOMAN #43 97 NIGHTWING #108 98 MARVEL KNIGHTS 4 #18 99 RAZORS EDGE REDBIRD #3 100 NEW THUNDERBOLTS #8 101 PUNISHER CELL ONE SHOT